Jana
Sitting at the table reserved for him, CJ acknowledged everyone except Ryan.
He understood why his cousin showed his face.
With Ryan’s supposedly new attitude came new family acceptance, so Aunt Zoann would expect him to attend.
He wondered why Devon was so fucking subdued but couldn’t get into another bit of family drama. He had enough of his own.
“Where’s Rebel, Kaia?” Grant asked.
“I’m glad Mom and Mattie aren’t coming,” Rory said.
Bishop weaved his way through the crowd and stopped at the table. “Grant, Tennysee wants a word with you.”
“I’ll catch up to her later,” Grant promised.
“That’s a ‘no’ then, bro?” Bishop asked.
Grant nodded.
“I’ll let her know,” Bishop said, turned and disappeared back into the crowd.
“Narci gives me death stares just because I talk to the woman,” Grant said, then tasted his beer.
“Fuck, Narci,” Ryan said. “He don’t really want her. He just don’t want anyone else with her.”
Everyone turned to Ryan. The motherfucker flushed.
“I was just saying,” he mumbled.
“Don’t say,” Rory snapped. “No one wants to hear what you have to say, Ryan.”
“And they want to fucking hear you, cuck?” Ryan demanded.
Rory glanced away.
Something was odd about their interaction—Devon’s reaction, his clamped jaw and bleak look, but CJ was too tired to think much about it. After a long night, he hadn’t been able to sleep so he’d gotten up and worked out, purposely missing breakfast. He hadn’t wanted to see Dad, Diesel, or Axel.
He was so fucking thrown by everything. Guilt also weighed him down. He hadn’t meant to turn into such a jealous fuckhead. He hadn’t even realized it was happening. Little by little, small things turned into huge infractions. He’d never felt threatened because he’d never been challenged.
As Uncle Mort pointed out, no one was challenging him now. It was up to him to come to terms with all the changes. He wasn’t loved any less or seen as less. But he’d also made CJ think about Diesel, and everything Dad said.
That’s where CJ’s guilt came in. The Rebel situation had just been an excuse to stay on Diesel’s ass. CJ was worried about a relationship between those two, but Diesel did need, and deserve, a little understanding.
As for that stupid treehouse, CJ had been so fucking wrong to lash out and it shamed him to no end. He’d hurt Diesel and there was no excuse for that.
“CJ?”
“What, Ryan?” he responded, the annoying headache that sometimes plagued him since his overdose, coming on full force. “What do you want?”
“Your forgiveness. Reb…Rebel visited me. She said I hurt her. And the only reason I did was because she’d started to care about me. Did I…did I hurt you, too?”
“Is that your fucking roundabout way of asking if I cared about you?” CJ snapped.
Ryan’s nostrils flared and he straightened in his seat. “Fuck you, cuck. Forget it.”
“I wish I fucking could,” CJ said. “Unfortunately, you’re going to be pushed down my fucking throat—”
“I was going to sacrifice myself, but you always have to be in fucking control.”
CJ was so fucking tired of the constant arguments.
It proved that life wasn’t completely back to normal.
Tempers were still running high, feelings were still hurt, and lives were still broken.
He rubbed the back of his neck and gnashed his teeth together.
“Yeah, Ryan. You hurt me deeply. Whatever I expected from you, I never would’ve thought you’d hurt innocent girls.
Our cousins. My sister. Especially after we all became friends.
I wouldn’t be as upset if you’d targeted one of us.
” He flicked his fingers between himself and the other guys.
“You and me have had fucking fist fights. That would’ve made sense.
But to use them to hurt me? How could you? ”
“I told you—”
“I know what you said. I don’t want you dead, Ryan.
Not only for Aunt Zoann, but for Uncle Val.
Devon.” Him, although he was too hurt and angry to admit that.
“You accuse me of always wanting to be in control, but I can’t get through a fucking school day without you, Rory, or someone pulling me away to help with some family drama.
If you don’t want me to be in charge, then help out sometimes.
Let everyone tap you, pull you out of class or away from lunch, to solve fucking problems.”
“We come to you because you always know what to do, CJ,” Rory said. “Whether you know it, I am loyal to you. I’ve made mistakes.”
“Just forget it, Ro,” CJ said tiredly as the crowd parted and Diesel breezed to the table. “I want this to never have happened, Ryan. But no one gets everything they want.”
“Speak for yourself, little brother,” Diesel said.
“There’s the birthday boy,” Grant said, snickering. “You’ve been playing pool?”
If he had, they couldn’t see over there with the press of people.
“I went to check on Jana,” he said, then stepped aside to reveal Jana in another one of Rebel’s outfits.
“Look who I ran into,” Rebel announced, ducking around Diesel and pulling Kayce into view.
“What’s up,” Kayce greeted, heading to the only empty seat next to Devon, who sat next to Kaia.
Rebel didn’t stop him. She bounded to Kaia and hugged him. “How are you, Huahua?”
“Interesting nickname,” Ryan said.
Rebel smiled. “No one told you?”
“That you want to be called a dog?” Diesel asked.
“Can I have a sip of your beer, Huahua?” Rebel said sweetly, the emphasis on that stupid nickname designed to annoy the fuck out of Diesel.
“Oh, uh…” Kaia looked at CJ for guidance. “Maybe, I should ask Meggie?”
“I’m going in the kitchen in a few minutes. I’ll ask her,” Rebel said.
“Why don’t you go now?” Diesel said tightly.
“Happy birthday, brother,” Narci said, walking up with Torrin and Huck, and clapping Diesel on the back.
He ignored them as well as Jana to focus on Rebel. “I know you fucking heard me, Rebel.”
“Let’s go to the jukebox and pick out some songs,” Rebel told Kaia, nodding in that direction.
Suddenly, Jana stumbled into Huck. Luckily, his reflexes were quick and he steadied her.
“Diesel,” Heidi cooed, pretending she didn’t see Jana and squeezing as close to Diesel as possible. “Cricket and Kearney sent me over to get you, babe. We want to toast your birthday and play a round of pool.”
Jana looked out-of-place and mortified. Not only didn’t Heidi apologize for shoving her, she sneered at her. “Reb, watch over Jana for me,” Diesel said, and allowed Heidi to guide him away.
Jana wilted completely and bowed her head, a reaction CJ had never seen in his fucking life. Not after such blatant disrespect.
Torrin drained his beer and set the bottle on the table, staring at Jana like she was a fucking specimen in a lab. Narci whistled, which didn’t help at fucking all.
“You putting up with that shit, Jana?” Huck asked, adding his two fucking cents.
“No, she isn’t.” Rebel looked at Jana and nodded in the direction Diesel and Heidi went. “Go over there, Jana,” she ordered.
CJ agreed with his little sister. As a matter of fact, he almost followed Diesel and confronted him.
But he no longer knew if his disapproval of how he treated women fed into his jealousy and made him dislike Diesel for another reason.
Or if his jealousy had turned into dislike and made him overreact about other things.
“I can’t,” Jana said. “I’ll look too needy.”
Rebel stomped her foot. “As opposed to looking fucking pathetic? Can you find your fucking backbone or do you need me to buy you one?”
“C’mon, babe. That’s harsh,” Kaia chided.
“Harsh but true,” Rebel replied.
“Can I just go back to the treehouse?” Jana asked.
“That’s all you fucking do!”
“Reb, you aren’t helping,” Grant chided.
“Jana, listen to me,” Rebel said, ignoring all of them, “you will fucking die a slow death if you let those bitches fuck with you. Trust me.”
Again, Rebel was right, but she wasn’t helping matters.
“Rebel, ease up on her,” CJ advised. “She’s not comfortable making a scene.”
Jana smiled gratefully at CJ. “Especially on his birthday, Rebel. I don’t even have a gift for him.”
“Break that fuckhead’s windshield and slash his tires,” Rebel said. “That’ll be the perfect gift.”
“Not everyone is as wild as you are, Rebel,” Ryan said.
“And not everyone is a motherfucker like Diesel, Ryan,” she retorted. “Motherfuckery begets bitchery.”
Grant grinned at her. “Does bitchery beget motherfuckery?”
“When warranted, which is rare. We’re saints,” she said.
“Not,” Rory said, starting a chorus of agreements.
“Our mothers are saints,” Ryan told her, since she seemed to be the only one who treated him normally.
“True,” Rebel agreed. “Since their daughters take after them, then sainthood extends to us.”
Ryan laughed. “In your fucking dreams.”
“Fine, Ryan.” Rebel raised her hands in surrender and gave a long-suffering sigh. “You win that point. At least agree with me that Jana is a saint.”
“I’ll agree with you on that one, Chi,” Kaia said, smiling at Jana.
Rebel preened at Kaia’s words, missing the shy look Jana gave him and his responding wink.
“I foresee trouble,” Torrin said to no one in particular, although that fuckhead looked at Rebel.
Clueless, Rebel smirked.
Narci cleared his throat. “Would you like to sit down with us, Jana? Leave the kiddos to their fun and games.”
Jana dragged her gaze away from Kaia and realized everyone was focused on her, except Rebel. She’d pulled out her phone and was texting.
“Come on, babe,” Huck said. “Let’s see what Diesel’s up to.”
“I’d prefer to sit here,” Jana said.
Rebel shoved her phone back into her pocket. “That’s Narci, Jana,” she said to her, pointing to him. “Next to him is Torrin and the guy next to him is Huck. They’re cool. If you want to sit with them, it’s fine. Diesel usually sits at their table.”
“I’d prefer to stay here.”
Devon stood. “Why don’t you take my seat next to Kaia, Jana?” he offered, moving away and nodding to it.
CJ lifted a brow at that motherfucker.