Chapter Forty-Three – Jana #2
“That especially applies to relationships. Match that motherfucker pound for fucking pound in whatever he does. Don’t give him the fucking rope to leave you hanging. Give him just enough to fuck himself up and then yank that bitch up and beat that motherfucker to a fucking pulp.”
“Diesel would never put his hands on me. I have to respect him the same way.”
“Is Diesel respecting you in any way?”
“He brought me here. He’s marrying me. That’s all the respect I need.” Another devastating prospect hit Jana and she couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her face. “Don’t take him from me. Please, Rebel? You can make love to him, just don’t tell him to send me away.”
“You do know how old I am, don’t you?”
Jana nodded. “I-I was your age when I…” She managed to hold in her sob.
“Diesel doesn’t know when I lost my virginity.
I-I was almost fourteen and…and…it was my neighbor.
His wife was away, and I was babysitting their kids.
He gave me beer and we smoked weed and…and…
I’m sorry. Don’t tell him. Please? He’d be so angry with me. ”
“He’d be angry, but not with you, Jana,” Rebel told her. “He does care about you. I don’t know if he loves you. I wish I could tell you that he does. How old was the neighbor dude?”
“Th-thirty-three.”
“Handsome?”
“Yes. I had a major crush on him. His wife hated me.”
“I can’t comment on the wrongness or rightness of it.
I know how it should be. How I would like it to be.
It was only recently that Washington tightened up on the child marriage laws.
Before, if you were seventeen, you only needed parental consent.
Any younger, a judge could approve the marriage no matter how old you were.
If we were in California, Oklahoma, Mississippi, or New Mexico, I could’ve married Diesel and he wouldn’t have gotten in trouble.
If we just had sex in those states, it would be a serious crime. ”
Jana frowned, unsure why those statistics made her feel so uneasy and creeped out.
“Only sixteen states require all parties to be eighteen with no exceptions. Thirty-four states, you’d need parental consent, judicial approval, emancipation of the minor, pregnancy or proof of birth, or a combination of those conditions.”
“You’ve done your research,” Jana said, even more miserable.
“Diesel’s an attorney. He taught me about due diligence and to always present facts.
Proven facts can stir emotions.” She started ticking off on her manicured fingers.
“Poke holes in the opposition’s case. Present actualities with evidence to back up your arguments.
Don’t falter. Let the truth speak for itself.
I could say, I love Diesel and want to spend the rest of my life with him.
He shouldn’t get in trouble for that no matter my age.
That’s emotion. Instead, if I said to my parents, he shouldn’t get in trouble because we can go to California and marry if you consent and it’ll be perfectly legal.
I could point to a statute or a legal precedent. ”
“Meggie and Uncle Christopher could present other arguments. Like, uh, you don’t live in California and he…he would be a-a-arrested before you c-c-could get there,” Jana pushed out, unnerved by Rebel’s study of her.
“So true,” Rebel said with a sigh. “Diesel’s the attorney, not me. If he really wanted us to be together, he would have to do whatever and present the case.”
“Isn’t it illegal to represent yourself?”
“The right to self-representation is in the Sixth Amendment. If a lay person can represent themselves, why can’t an attorney? Theoretically, at least.”
“I’m certain they would miss something and do an injustice to themselves because they would be too close to the case to think of everything.”
Rebel shrugged. “Probably.”
“So, um, are you telling that to Diesel?”
“It wouldn’t do any good.”
“Because of me, I guess.”
“That isn’t a bad thing.”
“It is when he looks at me one way and you another.”
“I can pluck that fuck head’s eyes out.”
Jana got the unnerving feeling that Rebel was serious. “He doesn’t like you being angry with him.”
“Good, because I’m not angry with him. I hate him. There’s a big difference.”
“What did he do to you?”
“None of your fucking business.”
Jana wilted. What little comfort she was getting from Rebel’s civility evaporated. “Okay,” she mumbled.
“Can you keep a fucking secret?” Rebel gritted.
As long as she wasn’t high. “Yes.”
“If you repeat what I’m about to tell you to anyone, I will kick you down the treehouse steps and hope you break your fucking neck.”
“I’ve always wanted a sister to share secrets with.”
Rebel narrowed her eyes and Jana cringed.
“I’m sorry!”
“If you go to that fucking clubhouse with the attitude you have, those club girls will eat you alive. If you can’t stand up to Diesel, you’ve got to stand up to them.”
Before Jana responded, Diesel barreled in. “You aren’t ready yet?” he demanded. “I’m about to head to the fucking clubhouse. I thought you wanted to walk there with me.”
Jana waited for Rebel to comment, but she didn’t, so Jana swallowed and forced herself to say, “I-I didn’t think you were here. I-I thought you were already at the club.”
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“If she isn’t, I am,” Rebel said. “Because, fuckface, I know you weren’t here. Fuck you. Fuck off. Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of my fucking closet.”
Diesel stiffened but he didn’t look at Rebel. “Do you still want to come, Jana?”
“I-I don’t have a birthday present for you.”
“You don’t have fucking money,” Diesel retorted. “I wouldn’t expect a gift from you.”
Hoping for assistance, Jana glanced at Rebel again. She didn’t want to remind Diesel that she loved him and anger Rebel, but he stayed so angry all the time. Jana hoped her love helped him. Healed him, in whatever way he needed.
“What have you been telling my fiancée, Rebel?”
“That you’re a heartless fuckhead who should be fed to piranhas.”
A surprise giggle escaped Jana, although Diesel wasn’t amused.
Rebel flipped him off. “I was about to share juicy secrets with her until you walked in my fucking closet like it’s yours.”
He took a step toward Rebel, but she raised her hands.
“Don’t, Diesel. If you get close to me, I will punch you. But,” she bit out and glared from Jana to Diesel, “pay attention to Jana. Tell her it’s okay to stand up to you and you won’t turn your back on her.”
“Your idea of standing up to me is fighting and calling me names. Barring me from your room. Not talking to me.”
“Uh, fuckhead, Jana’s right there. Respect her.”
Diesel laughed bitterly. “You’re not playing reverse psychology on me, Rebel.”
“Reverse…?” Rebel gasped, then looked at Jana. “Is this the motherfucker you want to marry? Him? Are you sure about that?”
“Five minutes ago, you were sure about wanting to marry me and having my fucking baby. If it was a girl, you wanted to name her Julia.”
Those annoyed words crushed Jana. Despite what she’d been feeling since he brought her there and forgot about her, she did know Diesel. He wasn’t aggravated because how Rebel had felt; he was aggravated because of how he thought she no longer felt.
“Tell him to leave, Jana,” Rebel said. “Throw something at his big, stupid head. Kick his nuts. Do something. Anything. He can’t talk to you like that.”
“He isn’t talking to me,” Jana croaked.
“He’s talking to me and disrespecting you. You’re better than what he’s doing to you.”
She wasn’t. She was an addict, who was craving a hit. She had absolutely nothing going for her. Mama didn’t care for her that much and Diesel seemed to have stopped loving her because she’d never measure up.
Shaking her head, Rebel threw an accusatory look at Diesel. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“I’m not responsible for how Jana behaves. Unlike you, she knows how to back down.”
“She needs to stand the fuck up, in order to back the fuck down,” Rebel yelled.
“Jana’s perfect just the way she is.”
Jana smiled at Diesel, melting at his heartfelt words. She didn’t even care about Rebel’s horrified look.
“You believe him?” she asked, appalled.
“He’s many things, Reb, but he isn’t a liar.”
He winked at Jana and then smirked at Rebel. His arrogance was one of the things Jana loved about him. He knew he was beautiful and smart; he knew he owned the world. That he thought her perfect and defended her so fiercely dazed and amazed her.
“I love you so much, Diesel.”
“I know, babe.”
He drew her into his arms and slanted his mouth over hers. If she’d closed her eyes immediately, she wouldn’t have seen him looking over her shoulder. At Rebel.
“I hate you so fucking much,” Rebel said quietly.
Pulling away from Jana, he went to Rebel and tipped her chin up. She glared at him, her eyes cold and unyielding. “In your fucking dreams, Rebel,” he said, released her, then strolled out, not looking at Jana again.