Chapter 25 – Rebel #2
Those were good. She’d had them at J’s before. When Rebel scraped away that top crap and stuck a piece in her mouth, she discovered they were delicious. She’d almost missed out on this because the chef took it upon himself to add fish eggs to the meal.
“How are you, sweetheart?” Momma sipped her champagne. “I can advise you for the rest of the evening and beyond. But this isn’t about me. Tell me what’s on your mind?”
A lot, mostly jumbled in her head. “Should I forgive him?”
Momma didn’t pretend ignorance. “Should you? Does Diesel deserve forgiveness?”
“I don’t know. He hurt me so bad, but I do miss being able to talk to him.”
“No one’s stopping you.”
“Yeah. Me. My pride. I want him to suffer for the rest of his life.”
“Fair enough. Then there’s your answer. Don’t forgive him. That’ll be the best punishment of all. As long as you’re doing it for your peace and not his misery.” Momma drank more champagne, ignoring the wine still on the table. “I’m going to ask you something and I want you to be honest.”
“O-okay,” Rebel said nervously.
“Has Diesel done anything inappropriate with you?”
A bunch of things. “No, Momma.”
“Good.” She left it at that. “Now about Kaia.”
“But…what about Diesel? We haven’t finished talking about him.”
“How do you feel about Kaia?”
“I really like him. I care for him so much.”
“Suppose I told you I’m willing to pay for art school for him?”
“That would be great—”
“In London.”
“What?”
“Think about it and then tell me how you feel.”
“Upset. I’ll miss him. But it’s such a good opportunity for him.”
“I told you to think about it.”
Rebel didn’t want to think about how she felt at the prospect of Kaia leaving.
A part of it was relief. Maybe Diesel would finally give her some peace and marry Jana without allowing his stupid jealousy to overrule everything.
But she didn’t want Kaia to go. He was kind, sweet, and easy to talk to.
It didn’t hurt that he was also cute. He was patient with her, willing to wait for what she wasn’t ready to give.
Charles rolled a cart to the table and picked up a plate with a potato shaped like fresh ginger. “This evening’s white truffle is from Alba, received three days ago.”
He began vigorously shaving whatever it was. Definitely not a potato.
Momma breathed in deep. “The aroma is extraordinary.”
If she said so. They smelled like dirt to Rebel. Actual fucking dirt.
“It opens further once the sabayon is poured.”
He picked up a small sauce pan, whisked gently, then drizzled custard over the travesty on her plate.
He waited until Momma tasted it, then walked away. Without cooking the fucking pile of little shaved bits on the plate in front of her and with custard over it.
“Do I have to eat this, Momma?” Rebel asked, pointing to what they were passing off as food.
“Not at all. A small taste would be good. You might like it.”
“Fine,” Rebel grumbled.
Nope, she didn’t like it at all. She grabbed the water glass and drank deeply, almost spitting it out at the bitterness.
“Ewww!”
“Don’t.”
“Why didn’t we go for hamburgers?”
“Could we have gotten dressed up? Wore our jewelry? Could I have weighed the legalities for me and the restaurant by providing…” She leaned forward. “A fake ID?”
“Why did you?”
Momma sighed. “I doubt the men in our lives would appreciate seeing you and I sitting down and drinking champagne. It was risky, but easier. If we do it at the house, we risk someone finding out if Axel accidentally tells his men.”
“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful.”
“You aren’t. You’re conditioned. Burgers are delicious, food you can have any day of the week.
This is an experience for you. To show you there’s more to life than club life, motorcycles, and boys.
” Momma ate more of that stuff. “Now, have you thought about how you feel about the possibility of Kaia leaving?”
“I don’t want him to go. We’re friends. We have a bond and we’re loyal to each other. He’s willing to wait until I’m ready to have sex.”
“Kissing can certainly lead to other things.”
“It won’t. He’s a gentleman.”
Instead of agreeing with Rebel, Momma drained her champagne glass.
“But it’ll be very selfish of me to deny him this opportunity. Besides, there’s long-distance romances. We could do that.”
“Or you could give him your blessings to accept what I’ve offered and let him go. If you and him are meant to be, he’ll come back, sweetheart. I promise you. You cannot escape fate.”
She thought of Diesel again. He’d hurt her, so she’d hurt him back. Now, because of her meanness, she was losing Kaia. She wanted to cry.
“How do you really feel about Jana?”
“I don’t know, Momma. She’s there, and Diesel’s so mean to her.
I don’t know why she accepts that. After Saturday’s volleyball game, I think I’m going to distance myself from her.
I texted her and asked for her sizes, so you could pay for some clothes for her.
As usual, she…” Rebel shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.
If she makes Diesel happy, her spinelessness is awesome. ”
“Nope, she sure doesn’t make him happy. She’s just a convenience. Is Kaia that for you?”
“No! Of course not! He’s my Huahua.”
Momma didn’t look convinced. Furthermore, irritation marred her face.
“But he’s always wanted to go to college. I won’t stand in his way,” Rebel said morosely. “And…and I’ll tell him we can be friends and nothing more while he’s overseas.”
“He might not get in.”
“I think you want him to go, though. You’ll find a way to get him in.”
“I want you happy. There’s a difference.”
“He makes me happy.”
“He’s young and dumb,” Momma snapped. “He doesn’t know how to make himself happy.”
Rebel’s chin trembled.
“I’m sorry. I…you are so young. Why do you want to rush to grow up?”
“I just want to be a normal teenager.”
“What’s normal, Rebel? Define that. Not all teenagers date.”
“I thought you were on my side,” Rebel said hoarsely. “Now, you’re determined to send Kaia away and you don’t want me dating.”
“That isn’t the issue. Age is.”
“Boys my age are stupid.”
“And girls your age are illegal. Especially for a grown man. Which Kaia and Diesel are.”
“There isn’t a me and Diesel, and there won’t be because he’s about to get married. So stop worrying about that.”
“If he wasn’t a moron, I’d gladly stop worrying about it. My main concern is you. You have no idea what you’re doing by playing with that type of fire. You are not equipped to handle any grown man.”
“Were you equipped to handle Daddy? When you turned eighteen did that magically give you wisdom about life and men?”
Momma glared at Rebel. “I was legal. Period. The end. You are not. For Diesel to even entertain you is disgusting. And let’s not talk about him being your adopted brother.
Let’s put that aside. If he has sex with you while you are still a minor, he will have problems. You cannot consent to something like that with a grown man.
He’s grown, Rebel. Grown. Thirty years old. ”
“You asked me how I feel. Now you’re angry.”
Momma tipped her head back. “I’m worried. Diesel does not care when he wants something. Whatever it is. Consequences don’t matter. He thinks he snaps his fingers and whatever he wants comes to him. You don’t want that in your life.”
“I’ve let him go,” Rebel insisted. “He’s my brother and nothing more.”
“Then forgive him.”
“How can that make a difference?”
“We both know what he did was because he was jealous. It wasn’t anything brotherly about it.
He was vile for what he did, especially knowing…
” She waved her hand. “He set you up to see him and Jana having sex because he knew it would get to you. He used the natatorium because that was the easiest place to lure you to. He told you to come and you went.”
Rebel glanced away, and allowed herself to think about his kiss behind her ear. The way he’d nosed her hair. She’d kept those thoughts at bay because of Kaia.
God!
Maybe she was using him as a crutch because he was who she could have so she satisfied herself with her new reality.
“I don’t want to forgive Diesel because I hate him.”
But she didn’t. She really, truly didn’t. “Don’t take Kaia…don’t send him away. Whatever he did…please? If he ruined some of your clothes, I’ll pay for them. Don’t take him from me. He’s all I have.”
“Don’t settle,” Momma said, sighing. “This is so hard for me, trying to steer you in the right direction. Trying to show you there’s a world beyond Diesel or Kaia.
” She made an arc of her hand, indicating the beautiful restaurant with all the gorgeous people.
“I know you’re isolated because of how your brothers protect you.
But CJ’s graduating next year. You’ll be sixteen next year. You can meet boys your age then.”
Rebel thought about the date Diesel promised her and wished with all her heart he hadn’t lied to her just to have his way.
“Prom night is a rite of passage.”
Surprise crossed Momma’s face. “And…” She gasped and leaned forward, her chest and neck flushing. “Diesel did not say he’d take your virginity on prom night?”
“No,” Rebel said slowly. “He just promised to take me on my first date after I turned sixteen.”
Momma’s mouth fell open.
“Then he backed out. He didn’t want me to sign up to the teen dating site and told me if I didn’t go out with anyone else, he’d take me on my first date.”
Momma narrowed her eyes. “He’s careless, reckless, inconsiderate, manipulative, and an idiot. What he’s not is the man for you.”
“But—”
“Your birth control works because you haven’t had sex. Mine failed me a couple of times. So what then? What if that idiot slept with you and you ended up pregnant? Babies are demanding little creatures—”
“Please don’t tell Daddy or confront Diesel. Please, Momma? You said to always be honest and that’s what I’m doing. Nothing’s going to happen between us. He’s about to be married.”
Momma nodded. “I have to remind him that Jana’s parents are coming over in a few days to discuss his wedding.”
Rebel’s stomach flip-flopped. “I didn’t…know,” she pushed out.”
“I’m sorry, love. It slipped my mind. I would’ve warned you. And I won’t tell your father or confront your brother.”
“Thank you,” Rebel said, hiding her wince.
“Do you want to stay or do you want to go to a burger place?”
Rebel glanced around. “It really is beautiful here and we’re twinning. You also went through a lot of trouble for me. I appreciate it so much. We can stay.”
“I didn’t mean to get so annoyed, Reb,” Momma said quietly. “I want what’s best for you. Nothing more.”
“But it sounds as if you wouldn’t give Diesel a chance even if I was eighteen.”
Pursing her lips, she glanced away. “I’d hate to see you with him.”
“You don’t like him.”
“I love him dearly. I think he’s a fine man, if a little intense. But not for you. However, my mother never supported my decision to be with Christopher. I wanted that so bad, Reb.”
Her grandmother didn’t sound very nice.
“If you were eighteen and if he wasn’t attached to anyone, I’d stand by your decision. I’d hate it, but I’d support you.”
“Do you think when I turn eighteen, I can go to London if Kaia isn’t back?”
Momma closed her eyes and a bleak look crossed her face.
“Not to live. Just to visit. Every other month.”
“We’ll see, sweetheart.”
Whatever Kaia did, he had to undo. It had to be his decision not to go to London, but Rebel would ask him why her mother was suddenly so intent to get rid of him as soon as possible.