Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
NASH
“ I ’m going to leave you two.” Julie stood and stopped beside me. Lottie tucked into her bent arms. She gently put her hand on my shoulder, looking up at me. She didn’t have to say anything, because what do you say to a man that didn’t know he was a father? This differed from Kipp. He didn’t want or know Nora when she realized she was pregnant. I’ve always wanted Fallon. I wanted her to be my world, the one I shared life with. Julie walked to Fallon’s room with Lottie, and I waited for the door to close.
“Fallon?” I hadn’t moved, I couldn’t. In a few hushed words I wasn’t supposed to overhear made my world crumble around me.
“Nash, I’m sorry.” She stood and moved toward me. Holding up my hand, she stopped. I couldn’t have her close to me. Rage was flowing through my veins, and while I wouldn’t ever raise my hand to her, I wasn’t sure I could control my temper.
“Why?” I growled, grinding my teeth together, fighting to keep my composure.
“I was afraid.”
“Afraid of who?” My rage suddenly quelled. I took a step back as a pang hit my heart, thinking she might have been afraid of me.
“Afraid of leaving. Of him coming after me.” She looked down. “You.”
Her words hit me harder than any punch ever could. My body tensed, the air stilled in my lungs.
Afraid of me?
She’d known me her entire life. I’d never given her any reason to fear me. Sure, I’d done some things, and those things had made people scared to be around me, but she knew nothing of those days or that they were long over. “Me.” I let out a humorless laugh. “You were afraid of me? Why would you be afraid of me, Fallon?”
“I was afraid of what you would say, afraid you’d turn me away.” She picked at her fingernail and avoided looking at me.
“Oh my god Fallon, she’s my child. I’d never turn you away. We would have figured it out,” I said, on the verge of a yell.
“But you said it yourself. The weekend we spent together it was meant to be the last time.” When she finally looked at me, her eyes were wide and she was shivering. Fallon looked so young, so vulnerable, and, above all, scared. Memories of the two of us together came flooding back to me. She wasn’t the same confident woman I’d once known. She frowned, squared her shoulders, and looked me dead in my eyes.
“You said we weren’t worth fighting for, that I was immature, and you couldn’t risk losing my brother’s friendship. So excuse me if I didn’t jump for joy at the thought of telling you I was pregnant.” She crossed her arms and clenched her jaw.
“I know what I said. So let me get this straight. You told me you’d broken up with what’s his name and you wanted me. Then you found out you’re pregnant and what? Passed Josie off as his?”
“Yes.”
“How did that work?”
“He came to my apartment, and I’d just taken pregnancy tests and he saw them. He assumed, and I didn’t clarify.” Her voice wavered and tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Were you even single?” I spat at her. That was low, but I didn’t think I knew this woman anymore.
“Do you seriously think I would sleep with you while I was with another man?”
“I don’t know, Fallon. You didn’t tell me you had my baby. It’s a little difficult to take you to your word right now.” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
“Nash, I was afraid for my life. I couldn’t leave. And you made it very clear that you didn’t want me.” She didn’t break her eye contact .
I searched them, hoping to find a reason to forgive her, but came up short.
She had no remorse.
“You should have known that all you needed to do was call me and I would have taken care of everything.” My voice was rising, and I wasn’t even going to try and stop it.
“I didn’t want to rope you into being with me when you clearly didn’t want to be.” Turning this back on me, that was typical Fallon. But this time it wouldn’t work.
“What gave you that impression? Me telling you I wanted you to be my wife? Telling you I’d loved you for as long as I could remember? Wanting you to come home and have a life with me? What part of all that made you think I wouldn’t drop everything to come to you? All we had to do was think it through a little. I just needed time. My god, Fallon, do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Sinking down into the chair, I rested my head in my hands. “I would have moved heaven and earth for you. Don’t forget you left first.” Lifting my eyes to her, I saw the moment she gave up, and she looked white as a ghost.
“I would kill for you, Fallon.” Her eyes brimmed with tears, but I didn’t go to her. It reminded me so much of the day Miller died. My arms ached to hold her.
“What is going on here?” Kipp asked as he marched into his living room, still wearing all his chore clothes.
“Go on, Fallon, why don’t you tell him?” I stood and ran my hand through my hair, letting out a breath. My heart thundering in my ears.
“Josie is Nash’s,” she said as she sniffled and avoided looking at us, keeping her eyes locked on the floor.
“Pardon?” His eyebrows shot up and he looked from her to me and back to her. “How? I don’t want to know how, but how?” He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead while she gathered the nerve to tell him.
Fallon wiped her nose on her sleeve and took a shaky breath. “I met up with Nash, we had a weekend together and I found out I was pregnant.”
“You met up with him?” I could see anger rising behind the questions. “You knew where she was and you didn’t tell me?” He looked at me and I saw the slight movement of his hand balling into a fist.
“I made him swear he wouldn’t. I knew you’d come after me and I wasn’t ready to come home. It’s not his fault, Kipp.” She had run over to stand in between her brother and I. It was a place I never wanted her to be, but there she was defending me against her brother.
“Some of it is his fault,” Kipp scoffed, looking over her head at me. His frown still locked on me. “Well, hmm. Umm, this is something.” Kipp seemed to relax and put his hand on my shoulder but didn’t say another word. He knew what this felt like, and I knew he’d be there like I was for him.
“I’m going home.” Standing, I headed out of the room when Kipp grabbed my shirt and held me in place .
“Fallon, Nora will help you pack your things you’re going with Nash.” I turned and looked at my best friend.
“You can’t be serious. You’re kicking me out?”
“No, I’m not kicking you out. Nash deserves time to get to know his daughter and you both living in separate places won’t allow that to happen so, you’re moving in with him.” Kipp’s word was basically gospel where his family was concerned, but I could see the wheels turning in her head, as she looked from Kipp at me. Was I supposed to help her get out of this arrangement? Did I want this to happen?
“I refuse to go. This is my home as much as it is yours. I will not be living with Nash. There’s less than fifty yards between his house and here. He can see Josie whenever he wants,” she yelled at Kipp, her hands flailing wildly around her. She was animated when she was mad, and right now I had never seen her this angry before.
“He is standing right here and doesn’t he have a say in this?” I yelled, finally reminding them that I was in the room. “Fifty yards is too far when I want to kiss her good night, or help you get the girls ready for bed. Hell, just making breakfast. Kipp’s right, you need to move in.” I nodded as I spoke, but my mind was screaming all kinds of four-letter words.
Fallon stared at me, shooting daggers from her eyes. She clenched her jaw and pursed her lips so she didn’t say anything else to me. Her arms crossed over her chest. I was as good as dead when we got home alone.
Kipp nodded at me and vacated the room quietly and left us alone again. As much as I didn’t really want to be around Fallon right now, I need to be close to Josie.
“Josie.” I whispered. It suddenly dawned on me. “You remembered what I wanted to name a little girl if I ever had one.” Finally, I looked at Fallon, and it all made sense. How had I forgotten that? And why had she remembered?