Chapter 38
RANGER
I’m working on expanding the fencing so the horses have more space when Benny barks. That’s such a rare occurrence that I immediately put my tools down and check to see what’s happening.
Julian isn’t home, and I’m not expecting him back anytime soon, so it’s not him.
Besides, Benny wouldn’t bark for that. He had a meeting with a Realtor to start the process of selling his land.
She expected it to be an easy sale, despite the fire damage, since he owns a sizable plot.
And after that, he was gonna run some other errands.
Plenty of things to do after your house burns to the ground, unfortunately.
A strange car is pulling up in the driveway, and I frown. Who’s that?
I recognize him as soon as he opens the door and carefully gets out, Mr. Sherman, the man who came to my aid in the grocery store and who owned this house before I bought it.
“Let’s go say hello,” I tell Benny, who follows me like the good boy he is. He really has been trained well.
“Good morning, Mr. Sherman,” I say when we’re close.
“Good morning, Ranger. I thought I’d stop by for a moment, if this is a convenient time for you.”
I’m not sure why he wants to stop by, but he was nice enough last time we met, so why not? “I was due a break anyway. Can I get you something to drink?”
“Just a glass of water, please. The days where I could drink sodas and sweet tea in unlimited quantities are over, I’m afraid.”
“Have a seat.” I gesture at the rockers on the shaded porch. “I’ll be right back.”
I bring out water for him and a Coke for myself, then sit on the other chair.
“How have you been?” Mr. Sherman asks.
I chuckle. “Would you like the polite version or the truth?”
“Always the truth. I’m too old to waste my time with pretending and platitudes.”
“That sounds like heaven. Never had much tolerance for it myself.” I take a few gulps of my Coke, the ice-cold liquid wonderfully soothing for my parched throat. “I’m much better than the previous time we met.”
“I can tell. You look better.”
I love how direct and honest he is. “I gained back the weight I lost. I’m also sleeping much better, and I have more energy.”
“You painted the house.”
I wince. “I did. I know it was long overdue, but—”
“None of that, now,” he cuts me off. “That wasn’t implied criticism. I’m just happy to see the house being restored to its former glory.”
“It’s a good house, with great bones and a lot of potential. And it’s…” I search for words. “It’s a friendly house. It feels warm and welcome. Even when I didn’t take care of it, it wasn’t judging me. I know, I sound like a crackpot…”
“No, not at all. I know exactly what you mean. This house…” He lets out a long sigh.
“I built this for Doris after the war. We were high school sweethearts, and she was devastated when I was sent to Vietnam… Even more when I signed up for two more tours. But I excelled at being a soldier and made it to platoon sergeant. All I wanted was to keep those young boys safe. But when I got back, I wasn’t the same… ”
“War changes you,” I say softly.
“You’d know all about that.”
“I do.”
“Doris wasn’t sure if she still wanted to marry me, if she was safe with me, and so I made her a promise. I asked her to give me a year to prove to her that even though I wasn’t the same man, I was still worthy of her love.”
Oh my god, he’s gonna make me cry, isn’t he? I feel an epic love story coming.
“In that year, I built this house, and I poured my love for her into every nail, every brick, every shingle on the roof. And working with my hands helped me to make peace with my demons as well. After that year, she agreed to marry me, and we got married the week after.”
Yup, my eyes are getting all moist, and I have to clear my throat before I can speak. “That explains why the house is so welcoming.”
“We had forty-eight wonderful years here and raised two daughters who still make me proud. But after Doris passed away… She was never sick, but one day, her heart just stopped, so it was mercifully quick. I couldn’t live here without her, not by myself.
I wanted to sell, but I turned down several buyers because they weren’t right. Until you.”
“You turned down buyers? Why?”
“Because this house is a blessing, and it needed to go to someone who deserved it. You do.”
“Mr. Sherman…” I swallow. “I’m not sure that I’m—”
“You are. You’re worthy and deserving, Ranger.
Of all the good things in life. The fact that you doubt that, that you feel different, is your survivor’s guilt talking.
You’re alive, and some of your friends are not, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be happy.
You’ll carry some of that burden with you forever, but don’t allow it to weigh you down. ”
I’m crying for real now. I have to tell myself that it’s good and healthy and normal because that ugly voice that says tough-ass soldiers like me don’t cry is speaking up again. “I want to be happy, but it’s not easy. Will it ever get easier?”
“I promise it will.”
“I have a boyfriend.” I wait a beat to brace myself for his reaction, but all he does is smile at me. “He’s the most amazing person I could ever meet, and for some reason, he loves me. I want to be happy with him, and right now, I’m doing well, but what if that doesn’t last?”
“Does he know about your PTSD?”
I nod.
“Then that’s enough. Your happiness won’t last forever, Ranger. You will have setbacks, but you’ll crawl back up, and over time, those days will become less, and you’ll find yourself having far, far more good days than bad.”
He’s not sugarcoating it, and that means everything to me. “Were you officially diagnosed with PTSD?”
“No. War trauma for soldiers was still a taboo. I didn’t get that label until much later, but I knew that in hindsight, that’s what I have.”
“Have? Not had?”
He smiles gently. “It never fully goes away. It’ll always be there, and even now, fifty years later, I do have the occasional triggers where I’m back in that jungle all of a sudden, holding dying men in my arms.”
Silence hangs between us, but it’s a good silence, one shared in mutual understanding.
“Thank you,” I say finally. “Thank you for selling me your house, but even more for sharing your story. It’s given me hope.”
“You’re a good man, Ranger, and you deserve all the happiness in life. I pray the house I built will be as much a blessing for you and your family as it was for me and mine.”
“Would you like a tour to see what I’ve done so far in fixing it up?”
His eyes light up. “I’d love to. I think I spotted some new outbuildings?”
“Yeah, I built two barns. My boyfriend’s house burned down in the fire, so he and his animals moved in here. Five horses, four chickens, two goats, one dog…and a partridge in a pear tree.”
Mr. Sherman laughs at my joke, which was, I’ll admit, arguably lame.
But maybe I’m getting better at it than I realized.
I show him the progress I’m making on renovating the bathroom, and then he inspects the new barns and fences.
“You’re doing a great job. It makes me happy to see this place alive again. ”
“You can stop by any time,” I tell him, and his smile widens.
“Be careful what you say to an old man. I may be dropping in a lot more than you’d counted on.”
He’s lonely. I don’t know why that thought never occurred to me, but it’s crystal clear to me. “Where do your daughters live?”
“My oldest is in South Korea, where her husband is stationed. My youngest is a surgical resident in Atlanta.”
His voice rings with pride but also with underlying sadness. “And you’re here,” I say softly.
“She offered to move me to Atlanta to be closer to her, but I can’t leave this town. Doris is buried here, and I have too many good memories. Besides, she’s busy with her career and a wonderful girlfriend.”
Well, that explains the lack of judgment when I told him about Julian. “Mr. Sherman, I mean it when I say you’re welcome here anytime.”
“You’d better clear that with your boyfriend first, Ranger. And please, call me Marvin.”
I grin. “My boyfriend collects stray animals. Pretty sure he’s fine with a stray human.”
“In that case, do you need some help with that fence?”