Chapter 27
Joseline
The swaddled bundle in my arms squirms as I look around the unfamiliar dressing room, and I rock back and forth on the leather couch to soothe it. I can just make out a little curl of dark hair among the blankets.
“Your mommy will be back soon,” I say softly, gently bouncing the baby like I’ve done countless times before.
I have no idea where Niki went—probably to the bathroom—but Rhage is about to take the stage. Not that it’s anything new, but we always watch their performances together. It’s become a concert ritual for us.
The blanket squirms a little more, refusing to settle.
“You’re probably hungry,” I whisper, continuing to rock. I pat the blanket in time with my movements.
When that doesn’t work, I start humming a lullaby I used to sing as a child, and that seems to do the trick.
Finally.
“Joseline?”
I whip my head around at my name, but I’m completely alone. Unless it was the baby who spoke, I must be hearing things.
“Joseline.”
Something brushes over my arm, swipes across my cheek. As soon as I realize it's not part of my dream, my eyes snap open. I gasp when I find Tobias’ masked face a foot from mine, his golden eyes glaring at me with their usual intensity.
Quickly gaining my senses, I frantically look around the bus for anything amiss, but all the lights are still off.
“Come with me,” Tobias says softly, getting to his feet. He offers me his hand to help me up.
I think about telling him to fuck off and going back to sleep. I don't really care about whatever he has to say. But in my sleepy state, I stand and slip on my shoes before following behind him. He doesn't say a word until we're outside and the door is closed; then, he promptly lets go of my hand.
It’s still dark outside, stars twinkling in the clear sky overhead. The sky straight ahead has started to lighten a tiny bit, almost indiscernibly, but morning clearly isn’t far off.
What fucking time is it? I rub the sleep from my eyes.
“This better be important,” I grumble.
He stands there, golden eyes watching me through the holes in his mask, arms crossed over his chest. “You should go back to your hotel.”
I blink at him as the words slowly process. “You're fucking joking right?” Heat flushes my skin. “You woke me up from a perfectly peaceful dream to tell me to get lost? Was that audacity on sale? Because I’d like to stock up.”
If he was closer, I'd slap him, but I decide he's not worth the effort.
“I didn't mean it like that.” His voice is dry as ever. “You’ve been here for almost two weeks, and you’ve barely eaten or slept.”
Has it been that long already?
“You should go back to your hotel,” he repeats. “For a few hours or something…”
“Why the fuck do you care what I do?” I massage my temple that’s started to throb. “You haven’t spoken to me at all, haven’t even glanced in my direction. Now you’re looking out for my best interest?” I furrow my brows at him. “You’re giving me whiplash.”
His eyes narrow behind the mask. “I’m just sticking to my word, sweetheart. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
I glare at him, thoughts from our one-night stand rushing back. Our promise that there would be no consequence, that everything would go back to normal.
“Yes, I agreed, but I thought you’d at least acknowledge my existence,” I spit before shaking my head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault for expecting anything at all, and I realize that.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long second, those golden eyes boring into me and making my skin crawl. After a beat of silence, he shakes his head and sighs. “I just think you need a br—”
“I do not need a break,” I seethe. My skin flames as anger roils in my chest. Who the fuck does Tobias think he is? “What I need is for my best friend to be alright. What I need is to not spend every waking minute wondering if she’s going to die.”
Tension coils like a snake between us, but he doesn’t back down. He just stares at me, and I think that’s worse. I want him to apologize, to break, to walk away. To do anything other than stare at me and wait for my meltdown to pass, emotionless and unbothered, which only pisses me off more.
I’m too tired for this shit.
I was an idiot for ever thinking he was attractive. For thinking he was anything more than a giant asshole.
“I’m so sick of you pretending to give a single fuck about me in any capacity,” I snap, blinking away the stinging sensation in my eyes.
I just want to go back inside, to go back to sleep. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll think this was all a dream in the morning.
Closing my eyes, I rock my head back, my face pointed at the sky. I know I’m seconds away from a breakdown, and I refuse to cry in front of this pinche culero. I’ve been holding it together well, for the most part, but he’s found me in a moment of weakness.
That was probably his plan all along, because if he’d shown up when I was completely awake, he knows I would have chewed his head off.
How dare he.
My chest twists in knots, and I suck in a sharp breath as something wraps around me.
It’s a pair of broad, burly arms pulling me close.
I take in a deep breath, inhaling Tobias’ warm, musky scent as he drags me into his chest. When my eyes fly open, I’m in his arms, encircled in the most unwanted hug ever.
“Let go,” I demand.
“No.” He doesn’t budge, the glint in his eyes growing more challenging by the second.
“Let. Me. Go.” I glare, the corners of my eyes stinging as I try to push him away. Why the hell does he have to be so stubborn? “Please.”
I don’t expect my bottom lip to wobble on the word, or for a tear to break free and slip down my cheek. I definitely don’t expect for him to shake his head and pull me closer.
“I’m truly sorry about this,” he says, his voice low. “You’ll just have to forgive me.”
I open my mouth to ask him what the fuck he’s talking about, but black shadows whip around us, cutting off my train of thought. Together, we blink out of existence.
When the darkness disappears, and I open my eyes, we’re standing in my hotel room.
No.
My heart pitches toward the floor and panic shoots through my system.
No, no, no.
“Wha— Why?” I gape up at him. “What the hell? Take me back!”
“I will,” he says without letting me go. I’m still pressed comfortably against his chest, and I can’t find it in me to fight him.
“No, take me back right now,” I demand, stomping my foot like a child. “Niki needs me. I shouldn’t be here, I should be there.”
A sob racks my chest, and I try and fail to push him away as tears roll down my cheeks. He’s such an asshole—even more of one for trying to come between me and my best friend.
“What if she goes into labor? What if she dies?” I ask, sobbing again as tears fall down my cheeks. I don’t attempt to wipe them away. “I can’t… I can’t lose her, Tobias. I can’t. She’s my best friend, and I—”
I squeeze my eyes closed, but it doesn’t stop the tears from flowing.
To my surprise, Tobias locks his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head, slowly swaying back and forth to console me.
The tenderness is so unlike him—much like the version of him that bathed me after fucking me ruthlessly into the mattress—and I hate how much I enjoy it.
Everything slams into me, all the fear, worry, and stress I’ve been bottling up this week, and my emotions surge. Before I know it I’m trembling against Tobias, and I can’t stop. And he doesn’t say a fucking word. He just stands there and lets me break down without letting me go.
It might be the best and worst thing he could do.
I have no idea how long I stand there crying like an idiot, but the tears finally subside.
“You can be angry at me if you want,” he says slowly, his soothing voice a balm to the worst of my nerves. “But you need a break. Even just for a couple of hours. I know you know this, but I can sense your energy, and it’s been… quite frankly, bleak this week.”
I pull back suddenly to stare up at him.
“Oh, and all of a sudden you care?” I try to snap, but it comes out on a broken sob. “You’re a fucking dickhead all week, pretending I don’t exist, and now you’ve been paying attention to my energy?” I want to laugh. This is absurd.
Instead, another wave of tears falls.
For a long moment, he’s silent, waiting for me to calm down.
“I was trying to stick to our agreement,” he finally says, his eyes burning into mine. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
My lips part, and it feels like the rug has been ripped out from beneath my feet. In fact, if Tobias wasn’t clutching me against him, I might drop like a stone.
He was an asshole all week because… he thought that’s what I wanted?
I blink, not sure how to process that information.
“Listen, I didn’t bring you here to insert myself or try to have a repeat of the other night,” he says quickly.
“But you can’t take care of your friend if you don’t take care of yourself, okay?
If you want to be there for her, you’ve got to step away from time to time.
Breathe, take some time for yourself, recenter. Then you can go right back.”
My brows knit together at his words. “Who are you and what have you done with our asshole drummer?”
He chuckles once and shakes his head.
“I’m still here, trust me, sweetheart.” My chest warms at the nickname. “I’m just… trying to help. And this is the only way I know how to currently.”
To my dismay, he lets me go and takes a step backward, giving me space. I immediately hate the distance, but I try to shove the thoughts aside. My eyes drift around the room, my thoughts fogging. I don’t even know what to do.
I’ve been so wrapped up in Niki that I haven’t been able to think about anything else. Even now, just being away from the tour bus has anxiety clawing through me, but I know Tobias is right. As much as I hate to admit it.
I have to take care of myself if I want to be there for her. I’m going to make myself sick if I don’t.
“We won’t stay long, right?” I ask. My voice is softer now, but at least I’ve managed to stop crying.
“Promise,” he assures me as he sinks down onto the foot of the bed. The mattress sags beneath his weight, and he folds his hands in his lap. “And if Sebastian texts with an emergency, we’ll head right back.”
I’m still reluctant to stay at the hotel for any amount of time, but I’m determined to try. Besides, Niki would cuss my ass out if she knew how useless I’ve been worried sick over her. She’d want me to take a break.
“Are you just going to hang out with me until I’m ready to go back?” I cock an eyebrow at Tobias.
His eyes widen behind the mask, like he’s surprised, before he jumps to his feet again. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No, that’s fine,” I say, waving a hand. “I’ll probably be less stressed with you here anyway.”
Imagine that.
We stand there for a moment, watching one another. In theory, all of this is a great idea. In practice? Being trapped in a hotel room with Tobias after the last time we shared this bed is a little awkward.
“Why don’t you take your mask off?” I cock my head to the side. “Unless you’re more comfortable with it on.”
He shifts back and forth, like I’ve suggested something drastic, before reaching for his mask and tugging it off.
As his bluish purple skin comes into view, I drink in his familiar features.
His horns appear, seeming to materialize out of thin air, and he tosses the mask onto the dresser beneath the TV.
“Better?” he asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know, is it?”
The corner of his mouth lifts into a smirk, and he runs his tongue over his teeth. I track the movement before I tear my eyes away.
Maybe having him take the mask off was a bad idea.
He’s so fucking easy on the eyes.
And an asshole.
A giant asshole for ignoring me all week and then waking me up at an ungodly hour.
Because he was concerned about me.
He’s infuriating.
And a little charming.
The thought of walking up to him and pressing my lips against his forms vaguely in my mind, but I immediately shut it down. Kissing this demon is probably the last thing I need and the last thing he wants.
A shower is a better place to start because the tiny one on Niki’s tour bus just hasn’t been cutting it.
I move to grab clean clothes out of my suitcase. God, I need to organize all this shit, but I can’t even think about it until after all this is over. Until I’m certain Niki and the baby are okay.
“I’m going to shower,” I explain, hesitating before heading for the bathroom. “You… don’t go anywhere.”
He nods slightly, his horns tipping with the movement. “Of course.”
With a nod, and another look around the room, I turn my back on him and shut myself in the bathroom. One look in the mirror makes me cringe. My eyes are puffy and swollen from crying, and my hair is a mess. I look exhausted and a little pale.
I hate to admit that Tobias was right, but it’s obvious now. I need to focus on myself for a little bit, regroup and refocus. Relax and reset.
And the best way to start is with a long, hot shower.