Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Cameron
I looked at the bed, then typed.
I don’t think I’m ready for this.
Max’s reply came a heartbeat later. Stop planning. Just do it.
I gave a mental snort as I typed. *Now* you say that. After two days of sending me so many links I’m suffering from overload.
That got me a laughing emoji.
Okay… What you’re feeling right now? I’ve been there. I remember feeling terrified over my first scene. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. What if I screwed up? This was supposed to be fun. What I didn’t know at the time was that everyone had those kinds of thoughts.
Three little dots.
It’s your scene, Cam. Enjoy it. Got your toys ready?
I had to smile. He’d sent me to Regulation, a shop in Soho, and that had been an experience.
Yeah. Just finished setting it all up. Now all I had to do was decide whether or not I let Theo see it before I slipped a blindfold on him.
[grin emoji] Then have fun. But remember what I said yesterday. Consent, compromise, discussion, limits, agreement, safe word.
I smiled. Ever thought of giving lessons in this?
[grin emoji] Who says I don’t already do that? And don’t forget – have water ready for after.
I shook my head. I *did* read the link you sent about aftercare. Most of it was common sense.
“Are you in there enjoying yourself without me while I sit out here working?”
I laughed, but my heart raced.
Crunch time.
I slid my thumbs over the screen. No more messages, okay? I switched my phone off. I didn’t need any distractions.
I went into the living room, and Theo glanced up from his laptop.
He narrowed his gaze. “You’ve been very secretive the last two days.
You’ve been glued to your phone, you went out and didn’t say where you were going…
” He cocked his head. “Should I be worried?” That twitch of his lips told me he wasn’t all that concerned.
“Time for a break.” I pointed to the laptop. “Shut it down, please.”
He arched his eyebrows but did as I asked.
“Now sit with me on the couch.”
Theo stilled. “Okay, now I’m getting nervous.”
I let out a sigh. “You need to stop worrying that the rug is about to be pulled from under you. I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” I smiled. “I’ve waited years to get you where I want you. Do you think I’m going to give up on that so easily?”
He got up, came over to me, and sat. I took his hand in mine, and he stared at our laced fingers. “I’m sorry. And you’re right, that’s exactly how I feel. I just need to trust this… to trust you.”
Pride bloomed in my chest. Theo had come a long way.
Now to take him a little further.
“I need to ask you something,” I began, “and it’s kind of… big.”
Theo raised his chin and looked at me. “Okay.”
I took a breath. “I talked to Max. About us. About… control.”
Theo’s shoulders tightened automatically, and he pulled free of my hand.
“I’m not here to take anything from you.” I aimed for a reassuring tone. “In fact, I want to offer you something. And you can say no, okay?”
He nodded, swallowing hard.
I’d thought about how best to frame my thoughts.
“I think control doesn’t have to be something that hurts you.”
Theo let out a sharp breath. “It always has.”
“I know.” I squared my shoulders. “That’s why I want to do it differently.”
Theo curled his hands in his lap.
I looked him in the eye. “I want to be someone you can give control to, temporarily, on purpose, with rules. With safety. And if it doesn’t feel right, you tell me and we stop. You say the word and everything ends. No questions, no guilt.”
Theo’s voice was barely audible. “What word?”
I smiled. “Red.”
“And… what would whatever it is you’re planning look like?”
Another smile. “You’re going to come when I say and not before.”
Shit. His pupils grew a little larger, and I took that as a positive sign. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”
I bit back a smile. Theo was crap at feigning indifference.
Then he stilled. “What’s the catch?”
I got ready to smash through his facade of I guess we could do this.
“I’m going to be doing my best to drive you out of your mind. You’ll lose count of how many times I bring you to the edge, but you won’t be allowed to fall. Not until I give you permission.” I grinned. “No matter how much you beg. And if you’re not begging, I’m not doing it right.”
His eyes widened, and he drew in a sharp breath.
“And before we go any further, you need to know something. You’ll be restrained. You’ll still be able to move,” I assured him, “but you won’t be able to touch me or yourself. And you won’t see me either. So if any of that turns you off, say so now.”
Theo’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “You’re going to tie me to the bed?”
I nodded.
“And I’ll be blindfolded?”
Another nod. “You get to choose what goes in your hole—a butt plug or a dildo.” I gave him a sweet smile. “I have both. The dildo vibrates, too.”
Theo let out a raw laugh. “You really have been talking to Max, haven’t you?”
“So… what do you think?” My heart pounded as I waited.
“Butt plug.” Theo’s chest heaved. “Can I tell you what I don’t want?”
This was better than I’d hoped.
“Of course. That’s the whole point of talking first. We need to set limits.”
Max had been an excellent teacher.
Theo nodded. “Then… don’t hurt me. I’m not into pain. So no spanking, all right? And… don’t humiliate me.”
I glimpsed what lay at the root of that request, and not for the first time I cursed Luka Whatever his name was. I took Theo’s hand in mine once more.
“This is supposed to be something that makes you feel good, okay? I want to build you up, not tear you down.”
He shuddered. “Then let’s do this.” He straightened. “Red stops everything?”
I smiled. “Absolutely.” My heart thudded. “So let’s start this right.” I leaned in and kissed him, slow and sweet, and Theo melted into it. Keeping hold of his hand, I stood and led him into the bedroom.
I knew the moment he saw my preparations. His breathing caught.
“Wow. You have been busy. Not to mention sneaky.”
I ignored him, and pushed him up against the wall, pinning him there with my weight, the way he’d done with me.
I grabbed his wrists and held them above his head while I kissed him.
I was hard as a rock, and I let him know it, grinding against his own burgeoning erection, exploring him with my tongue until he was feeding me constant moans.
He made no attempt to pull free of my grip, however.
“Good boy,” I murmured against his lips, and his moan intensified.
Theo likes praise. I locked it away for future reference.
“Turn and face the wall, with your palms flat to it.”
Theo spun around so fast, I thought he’d give himself whiplash. I reached around to his front and slid my hand over his dick, rubbing it through the denim.
“You don’t get to play with this,” I whispered. “This is all mine.”
Max had mentioned dirty talk, and I had to admit, I didn’t think I’d be any good at it.
But Theo’s shaft jerking beneath my fingertips swelled my confidence.
I unfastened Theo’s jeans, lowered the zipper, and shoved them down to his ankles.
I helped him out of them, then crouched behind him and kissed his downy arse cheeks, heading up his spine.
He pushed back, and I gave him a light tap.
“Keep still.”
Theo was motionless a heartbeat later.
I stood and went to remove his shirt. Theo tried to help, and I gave another tap.
“Did I say you could move your hands?” I paused. “You have my permission to move them while I take this off.”
Okay, this was fun.
At last he was naked, tremors rippling through him.
“Get on the bed, on your back.”
Theo did as instructed, eyeing the cuffs attached to the headboard by chains. His chest heaved once, twice.
“You’ll still be able to move,” I told him. “Hands above your head.” I had no idea where this dominant streak came from, but I was beginning to enjoy it. I fastened the cuffs around his wrists. “That’s not too tight, is it?”
“It’s fine.” He gave an experimental tug, then let out a nervous chuckle. “Okay, this is new.” He glanced toward the bedside table, where a black satin eye mask sat. He blinked. “Where did that come from?”
I smiled. “An Ann Summers shop. It’ll do the job.” I picked it up. “Are you okay with this?”
Theo met my gaze. “I trust you.”
Three words that nearly undid me.
I lifted his head and slid the blindfold over his eyes. His cock jerked against his belly, and his abs quivered.
“No one else gets to see you like this.” I stroked his cheek. “This is just for me.”
“Cam…” His breathing quickened.
“Focus on my voice and my touch. Nothing else exists right now.”
The words came from a place I hadn’t even known existed, and I thanked God for it.
I went over to where I’d set up my laptop on a chair and clicked Play. The air filled with men’s moans, grunts and cries.
Theo’s mouth fell open. “Is… is that porn?”
I chuckled. “Yes, yes it is. I thought I’d turn your mind into sexual putty before we got started.”
Theo groaned. “You are way too good at this.”
I stripped off my own clothing and climbed onto the bed, straddling him. His rigid shaft told me he was already aroused, but I wasn’t done yet. I stroked his neck, pausing to kiss him there, then down to his nipples, Theo shivered as I brushed my lips over the taut little nubs.
Something else to file away.
I kissed his forehead, the delicate skin inside his elbows, his sternum, then shifted to kiss all the way down to his inner thighs and the ridge of his hip bones. Each contact elicited more shivers and low moans, and I made sure to vary the spots, so he wouldn’t know where I would be next.
“Tell me how that feels.”
Theo groaned. “It feels amazing.” He bit his lip as I trailed my fingers over his dick.
“I want to hear every sound. Don’t hold back.
” I licked over the head of his cock, and he let out a low moan.
“That’s it. Fuck, you make such beautiful sounds.
” I slid my hand under the pillow where I’d stashed the lube and a butt plug.
Then I brought my hands to his thighs. “Spread for me, Theo. Let me see you.”
A loud groan rolled out of him and he spread himself wide.
“Feet on the mattress. Show me that hole.”
Theo’s staccato breaths were audible even above the soundtrack from the laptop.
“Breathe, baby. In and out. It’s just you and me.
Let me make you feel good. You don’t have to think about anything else right now.
” I kissed his inner thighs, feeling the muscles quiver against my lips.
“I love seeing you like this, open for me. Trusting me.” I rubbed my fingertip over his hole, and he trembled. “Let go, Theo. I’ve got you.”
He shuddered out a breath. “I-I know.”
“I want you to do something for me. When you think you’re getting close to coming, I want you to start counting to ten. That’s to tell me when to back off. And so we’re clear? Ten is ‘Oh my God, Cameron, I’m going to come any second now.’”
He managed a dry chuckle. “Believe me, you’ll know when I get close.”
I grabbed a pillow and stuffed it under his hips, then smeared the butt plug with lube. I touched the rounded end against his pucker, and he stilled.
“Ready?” Theo nodded, and I slid the silicone toy into his body, going slow when we got to the widest part. At last, his hole swallowed up the black plug, and I kissed the head of his dick, lapping up the pre-cum. I breathed on it, and he shivered.
“Remember, you’re not allowed to come until I give you permission.” My own shaft was like steel, and I ached to be inside him.
“Yes, Cam.” His voice shook.
I started teasing his cock with my hands and my mouth, making him squirm, watching as he pulled against his restraints. I teased his abs, tickling him.
“Fuck, you didn’t tell me you were going to torture me,” he ground out.
“It’s supposed to be fun,” I said, laughing.
“Not when I’m ticklish, it isn’t.” He squirmed as my fingertips danced over his belly. When I stopped, he shuddered out a sigh of relief, then arched his back when I flicked his nipples with my tongue. A fresh glint of pre-cum beaded at his slit.
I smiled. “I’ve been thinking about this all day. I could do this for hours, just keeping you right on the edge for me.”
“More torture? Wasn’t the tickling enough?”
I said nothing but leaned over to suck his dick, feeling his moans reverberate through him.
“One… two…three…”
I backed off, and kissed him on the lips, sharing the taste of him. Theo responded with a hunger that made my body sing.
“Is everything okay?”
He nodded. “Keep going. I want to get to the finish line.”
I chuckled. “Not yet. I’m going to make you come so hard you forget your own name —but only when I decide you’ve earned it.”
Theo groaned. “Max would be so fucking proud of you right now.”
I laughed. “High praise indeed.”
I teased his hard-as-fuck cock until he was begging me to let him come. He’d started his countdown maybe four or five times, and each time I’d changed it up, switching to touching and kissing before going back to it, bringing him to the edge again and again.
“Please, Cam, let me come,” he pleaded.
I ignored him and doubled my efforts, stopping only when he reached eight.
“Try again. Beg like you mean it this time. Show me how much you need this.”
“Cameron!” he wailed. “Please.” He started his countdown again, but as he reached seven, he shot hard, his body jolted, his breathing shallow and harsh.
I bent over and licked up every drop, my own dick aching with the need to come. I wrapped my fingers around it and tugged, pulsing onto his chest and spattering his chin and lips.
Theo trembled. “I ruined it.”
No way was I going to let that pass.
I removed the blindfold, then freed his wrists before lying beside him, kissing his lips and face.
I smiled. “You did not ruin it. I’m amazed you made it as far as you did.
” I slid my arm under his neck and cuddled him, holding him, letting him come down from that incredible high.
We lay like that for the longest time, pausing to let him drink from the water bottle by the bed, kissing him, telling him how glorious it had been to watch him, to hear him.
“I thought you’d be angry that I came without permission,” Theo murmured, his body calm in my arms.
I kissed him. “It was our first time doing this, you were excited, and I’m not about to give you a hard time over it.”
He laughed, and the sound was exactly what I needed.
“No, you’ve already given me a hard time.”
I chuckled.
Theo let out a sigh. “I thought giving up control would make me disappear. I thought wanting this meant I was broken.”
I traced slow patterns on his arm. “No, it means you know what makes you feel safe.”
Theo turned his face toward me. “And what if I want it again?”
I smiled. “Then we talk about it. Like adults. Like partners.”
His face flushed. “I might actually like being told what to do.”
I laughed quietly. “Good. Because you look incredible when you trust me.”
He closed his eyes. “I can live with that.”
And I could live with this.