Chapter 33 #2
Julian cackled. “As long as you stick to kissing, we’re gold.”
“Yeah, don’t make us keep buckets of cold water handy,” Elliott added with a grin.
I waved my hand. “Will you get out of here and get the drinks in?” I pointed at Sebastian. “And you. No flirting with the waiters. You’re too much of a distraction.”
He laughed. “Yeah, but now you won’t notice it so much because you’re the distracted one.” His eyes sparkled. “Which is a great look on you, by the way.”
One by one they filtered out of the studio, until there was only Max and I.
He pulled on his leather jacket. “If you want to share details, I’m going to stop you right there. I don’t want those pictures in my head.”
I laughed. “Good, because I have no intention of sharing.” I cocked my head. “I want to talk about you.” I kept my tone as casual as possible.
He arched his eyebrows. “Anything in particular you want to discuss?”
“I’ve got what I wanted, but what about you? What do you want?”
Max blinked, then laughed. “Wow. Buy me dinner first.”
I shot him a look. “You know what I mean. You go to Obsidian a lot. What do you want out of it? Because there must be something.”
Max studied me for a moment. “Are you asking as a friend,” he said slowly, “or as someone who finally understands what he’s asking?”
I paused. “As someone who finally understands.” Another pause. “Cameron told me you taught him a lot about what submission looks like. So I guess I’m asking…. Do you have a submissive of your own?” Max’s face tightened, and I backpedalled. “Forget I asked. It’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s fine. I mean, it isn’t something you and I have ever discussed at any great length.
But I guess that after getting involved in your sex life, you’re now curious about mine.
” He leaned against the piano. “So here’s an honest answer.
” He drew in a breath. “I don’t want a submissive.
I’ve done that. I’ve done the power exchange, the protocols, the trust, the aftercare.
I’ve done the building someone back up thing.
” He shrugged, but the motion was tight. “And the last one burned me.”
I frowned. “Burned how?”
Max’s jaw tightened. “I gave him everything—structure, safety, patience. He needed me so much he forgot who he was without me.” A beat of silence. “And when he left, he took half of me with him.”
I absorbed that quietly. “So no subs.”
Max nodded. “No subs. No broken boys. No rescue missions.”
My lips twitched. “That sounds very specific.”
He snorted. “You noticed.”
“What do you want, then?” I asked.
Max stared at the far wall for a second too long. “I want someone who can stand on their own. Someone who doesn’t need me to be whole.” He paused. “Someone who chooses me, not someone who collapses into me.”
“That makes sense.”
Max’s grin returned, sharp and deflecting as ever. “Look at you, all emotionally fluent. Cameron’s rubbing off on you.”
“Careful,” I said in a dry tone. “That sounds a lot like vulnerability.”
Max recoiled theatrically. “Absolutely not. And don’t go spreading such lies about me.”
I hesitated. “You know, sometimes the thing we’re most afraid of repeating is exactly where we still have something to learn.”
Max shot me a look that was half amusement, half warning. “Careful, Sinclair. That almost sounded like foreshadowing.”
I smiled. “Just speaking from experience.”
Max pushed off the piano. “No subs,” he said again, firmer this time. “No rescue projects. No damaged men who need saving.” He paused at the door. “Nowadays I’m all for keeping things simple.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You don’t do simple.”
Max smirked. “Come on. We’ve got some drinking to do.” Then he smiled. “And you’ve got a gorgeous man waiting for you.” As he headed out the door, he said, “If you need any pointers…”
“I won’t be asking you,” I finished. “Hey, Max?”
He paused at the threshold. “Yeah?”
“If you ever need me, you only have to ask.”
Max smiled. “Careful. One of these days I might hold you to that.”
Cameron
I let the laughter and the chatter wash over me. Everyone appeared to be in a good mood, and I wondered whether that was in part due to Theo.
I think he surprised them all.
Theo sat next to me, his fingers laced with mine, watching the shenanigans and smiling.
I could get used to this.
Theo was calm, seemingly at ease in his own skin. It was then I realised that for all the years I’d known him, I’d never seen him like this.
“What’s going through your mind?”
I chuckled. “You, actually.” I squeezed his hand. “I was just thinking about how much you’ve changed.” I smiled. “And how much I love this version of you.”
“That’s good.” His eyes twinkled. “Because this version of me loves you just as much.”
“There’s something I’d like you to do for me.”
Theo stilled. “The last time you said that, I ended up—” He grinned. “Loving every minute of it.”
I laughed. “This might be more of a challenge for you.”
He arched his eyebrows. “Now I’m intrigued. What do you want?”
I leaned in close. “For you to take me home, take me to bed, and make love to me.”
Theo frowned. “Why would that be a challenge?”
I smiled. “Because I want you to sing me my song while you do it.”
He laughed. “That might take some doing. Sounds like rubbing your stomach and patting your head at the same time.”
“Yeah, that’s the idea.” I gave him an innocent stare. “You might even need three or four attempts to achieve it.”
“Oh, at least.” His tone was almost serious.
“I loved it, you know. Every word of it.” I looked him in the eye. “It was raw, honest, and so beautiful. And one of these days, I might write a song for you.”
Theo caught his breath. “I’d love that.”
“I already have a couple of lines written.” My heart pounded.
Theo stared at me open-mouthed. “How do they go?”
I took a deep breath and let them out, the others falling silent as my voice pierced through their chatter.
All I know is the rhythm when you breathe beside me.
That’s the only time the song feels right.
There was silence for a moment.
Theo’s hand was warm on my cheek, and a heartbeat later, his voice rose, deep and rich.
You heard the note I buried deep
Pulled it from the dark like a secret I couldn’t keep
You saw the man beneath the armour and the choke
You held the parts I thought would break—
Made them whole
If this is love, let it stay close
Unmasked, unguarded,
Every raw and reckless hope
I’m singing now what fear once stole
You’re the reason I can
You’re my naked note
Around us, I caught sighs and appreciative murmurs.
“Now I want someone to write a song for me,” Julian muttered.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Theo. “Thank you. That was beautiful—again.”
He smiled. “It’ll be better the next time I sing it.” His eyes shone.
I leaned in and kissed him.
“I think it’s time to go home.”