Reach for the Stars

Chapter 9

9

‘How do you take your coffee?’ I asked, pulling across two mugs. Neither were mine. Someone must have brought extra supplies.

‘Strong, no sugar.’

‘Milk?’

‘Just a drop.’

‘Is it worth it?’

‘I think so.’

I smiled but didn’t turn around.

‘So what was it?’ I asked, adding the requested drop of milk to his drink.

‘What’s that?’ he asked, coming to lean on the wall beside me.

I handed him the mug. ‘What you were about to have a go at me for this time?’

He looked down at me with those storm-cloud, impenetrable eyes.

‘You don’t frighten me, Mr Woods.’

‘I have no intention of frightening you. One, because, why would I? And two, I’m pretty sure you’d kick my arse.’

Now it was my turn to laugh and, I had to admit, it felt good. In these most unlikely of circumstances, with my car thinner than an After Eight and my house given extra ventilation I didn’t ask for, I’d laughed more since I came to this place than I had in what seemed a very long time. I wasn’t entirely sure what that said about my life, but I didn’t think it was anything good.

As we walked out into the sunlight, it was impossible not to notice the furtive glances thrown our way but I did my best to ignore them. Julie hadn’t mentioned a partner when it came to her brother and I’d assumed the fact she was so quick to offer me use of his house meant it was unlikely that there was one on scene. But with him looking like he did, and apparently being a decent man, there was no way that situation would last long. However, it wouldn’t be me filling that particular vacancy. Jesse did seem a good man, but then I’d thought that about previous men too. But I was too cynical to think it would last. At some point, the other shoe would drop and I wasn’t going to be the one it landed on this time. Been there. Done that. More than once and I was not about to set myself up for another disaster. Even when the man was hotter than a white flame.

We drifted into a conversation with Pete and Julie and I smiled privately at the glances he stole at my friend. As she was talking, I accidentally locked eyes with Jesse and he returned the smile. Clearly he’d noticed too. But had Julie? And did she care?

‘So what are you planning to do with that shed now you’ve cleared it all out?’ Pete asked.

‘It’s not a shed.’ Julie turned to him with a fake haughty expression. ‘It’s a garden room.’

Pete pulled a ‘ooooh’ face and they both laughed. Oh yeah, she cared.

‘What are you going to do with it?’ Jesse asked.

‘Honestly? I don’t even know.’

‘It’d make a perfect office,’ his sister offered. ‘You could sit and look out at the garden.’ All four of us turned to take in the unkempt grass – calling it a lawn would be stretching the truth. ‘I mean, if you planted one.’

‘That is a great idea,’ I agreed. The only teeny problem was that I didn’t actually have a job for which I needed an office. At present, I was living off the savings I’d built up. Savings I’d stupidly thought I’d be spending on a house with Adrian but now that that possibility was firmly off the agenda, they were free to be used here. My flat had sold substantially over the asking price so I’d made a pretty hefty profit on my investment there too, which was just as well. Together, those would be enough for a while but at some point, I needed to sort out the chaos that was now my life.

I looked back at the house and then the cluster of men laughing, chatting and joking, all of whom had come to help without even knowing me. It was obvious Jesse was well respected by them, and also well liked. But there was more to it. A sense of community that I’d never been privy to before. I’d been part of clubs and cliques, that was for sure. But this was different and far, far better. Would my previous circle have banded together for a stranger? Unlikely. Unless it meant an invitation to a heretofore unavailable gala or society event.

I was brought back to the present by a gentle nudge from Jesse.

‘You look miles away.’

‘Oh!’ I shook my head. ‘No, just…’ Suddenly, the words wouldn’t form. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, I was just comparing you and your friends to the shallow society I’ve been used to.

‘It’s a lot,’ he said, looking down at me as Pete stole Julie’s attention once more. ‘Honestly, you’re handling it a lot better than many would.’

‘I’m not so sure about that.’

‘I am. You’re being a real trooper, if you ask me.’

‘That’s because I run screaming into the woods at night when no one’s looking.’ I meant it as a joke but a frown wrinkled Jesse’s brow.

‘You’re not on your own here, Fliss.’ He stopped himself immediately. ‘Felicity. Sorry, that slipped out. I’ve got an old school friend with the same name and we always called her that. Habit.’ He held up his hand.

‘It’s fine, really. Actually, I quite like it.’

‘Is that what people call you?’

‘No, not generally but,’ I carried on before he could interrupt, ‘as it appears I’m making a new start here, perhaps I need to reconsider other things too.’

‘Anything else on that list?’

I wrinkled my nose. ‘I’m not sure yet.’

‘Well, you’ve got all the time in the world.’

‘All the time in the world until I run out of money. The only reason I still have any left is because you’ve all been so kind in helping and organising all this. Thank goodness for you!’

Jesse’s eyes seemed to darken just that little bit more and I felt a flare inside me shoot off in myriad directions like an out-of-control firework.

‘All of you!’ I mean, I blurted in a higher pitch than I’d have liked. ‘Everyone. Of course.’ I cleared my throat and straightened my spine and tried not to notice that Jesse Woods’ very attractive mouth was now tipped into a smile.

‘Of course,’ he repeated.

‘Right!’ Frank called, pushing himself up from where he’d been perched on a stone bench. ‘Think that’s probably all we can do for now, Jesse. Unless there’s anything else?’

‘No, that’s it until the surveyor gets out here. Thanks, Frank.’ Jesse stepped across and shook the man’s hand. ‘It’s really appreciated.’

‘No problem at all. Just glad everyone was all right.’ He gave a glance towards my pancaked car, from which they had now also removed the tree. Jesse had taken some more photos showing the full impact for the insurance and forwarded them on to me while Julie and I had been burrowing away to Narnia in the garden room.

‘Thanks so much,’ I said, taking the small group in. ‘To all of you. It sounds very inadequate considering all the time you’ve given up and how hard you’ve all worked for someone you don’t even know.’

‘Now, now, none of that,’ Frank replied, a kindly smile on his weather-worn face. ‘You’re a local now and we help each other out here.’ His words echoed what Jesse had told me and I flicked a glance at him, leaning against the warm brick wall of the outbuilding, watching with an air of amusement on his face that said told you .

‘Well, considering I’ve barely been here a few weeks, I think it’s very generous of you to include me as a local so soon.’

‘No time limit, love. It is what it is and that’s that.’

I didn’t have an answer for that, which in itself was unusual and the most I could come up with was ‘Oh’, which made Frank laugh, and his smile was so infectious, I found myself doing the same.

The men filed out, got into their respective vehicles and drove away. I waved as they did so, trying to swallow down the shame I felt at the snobbish way I’d likely come across to tradesmen in the past. I’d never been intentionally rude but now, I realised, I’d never really considered them at all. They would be there to do a job and that was it. Would it have hurt to have made a little small talk? Asked them if they wanted a drink every so often? But I hadn’t. I’d left them in the care of the housekeeper and not thought twice about it. It was what I’d known and I had never considered there might be a different way.

One man hung back and then hesitantly approached me. Julie was sitting on the stone bench that Frank had vacated and Pete was leaning against the dry stone wall next to it, chatting away to her.

‘Everything all right, Pat?’ Jesse asked.

‘Yeah, yeah.’ He nodded and his cheeks gained a little pink. ‘It’s just that I was wondering, Miss DeVere…’

‘It’s Felicity,’ I said quickly with a smile. Fliss felt right from Jesse but one step at a time.

Pat nodded with a brief smile. ‘Felicity. Well, we were just thinking, I mean, me and the wife, whether you’d had any thoughts about what you were going to do with the lower paddock yet.’

Before I could answer, Pat rushed on. ‘I know this probably isn’t the right time to ask, I mean what with the storm and your house and all, but it’s just that, as I was here, I thought… well, we thought…’ He ended the sentence with a slight jiggle of his head.

‘The lower paddock?’ I asked.

‘Yes. Just if you’d had any thoughts, like.’

I turned to Jesse. ‘Umm…’

He pointed. ‘Over down that way, behind this field here.’

‘Oh, that one,’ I replied in a knowledgeable tone despite the fact I still had no idea. Honest to God. I used to be a sensible, highly organised person and now I didn’t even know what land I owned.

‘Didn’t Maisie used to stable her pony there?’ Jesse asked.

‘Yeah,’ Pat replied. ‘But then the place went up for sale. We got a call to say we had to get the pony out the next day or Joe would let it out himself. Maisie heard the call and was beside herself. In floods, she was.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Jesse said, the muscles in his jaw tight and the hands that had been relaxed moments ago now gripped into fists.

‘Oh no, nothing on you, mate. None of us can help who we’re related to. Luckily, having the same blood doesn’t mean anything. Different as chalk and cheese, you and your cousin are.’

‘And Maisie is…?’ I asked.

‘My daughter. She’s ten, going on thirty.’ His face lit up at the mention of her name.

‘Keen rider, then?’

‘Horse mad!’ He laughed now. ‘Always has been.’

‘I can understand that,’ I replied. ‘I was the same many years ago.’

He nodded and seemed to relax a little at this shared situation.

‘And where is the pony being kept at the moment?’

Pat pulled a face. ‘In a stables about half an hour away but it’s costing us a fortune and trying to get Maisie there in the morning and evening before school and work and then ride and muck out at weekends…’ His words tailed off and he heaved a deep breath.

‘How soon can you get the pony over here?’

He hesitated. ‘Ummm… I don’t know. I’d have to ring them and see when they’d let us. My wife arranged it so I don’t know if there’s a notice period.’

‘OK. You find out and then just bring him… her?’

‘Her. Honey, her name is, on account of her colouring.’

‘Then you bring Honey round any time you like. You probably know the way better than I do.’

‘Are you sure, Miss… Felicity?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘We can pay you what we were paying the previous owner, probably a bit more.’ His features were more animated now and it was easy to see just how much of a problem the current situation was causing his family.

I shook my head. ‘You won’t be paying me anything, Pat.’

He looked at me and blinked. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘You came here today to help.’

‘Yeah, but that’s different.’

‘No, it’s not. The paddock is land that’s not being used and if I can be of help to you and your family, then that seems like a fair trade.’

‘I’m not sure about this, though. It doesn’t seem right.’

‘OK. Let’s say free stabling for six months in return for what you’ve done today and what I’m sure Jesse will probably rope you in for in the future as this mess gets tidied up. Then we can review after that. How does that sound?’

He nodded. ‘OK.’

‘And if there’s any difficulties getting here at any time, just message or call me. Jesse has my number, and I can go and see to Honey. It’s been a while since I had a pony but I’m pretty sure I can manage.’

‘I don’t know what to say. That’s really kind of you.’

‘You can say we have a deal.’ I held out a hand and after a moment’s hesitation, he shook it and the smile spread slowly over his long features.

‘Maisie is going to be over the moon.’

‘Hopefully, I’ll get to meet her and Honey soon.’

‘Definitely. Especially if you like horses. She’ll talk the hind legs off a donkey about them to anyone who’ll listen.’ He checked his watch. ‘I’d better get on, but thanks again for this. We really appreciate it.’

‘You’re very welcome. Thank you for everything you did today.’

Pat nodded and did a fast walk back to his car, his phone already to his ear as he did so.

Jesse looked down at me. ‘Fancy a walk around so you can familiarise yourself with what you actually own?’

‘Do you have time?’

‘Plenty. Come on, Ned.’ The dog who’d been curled on the front seat of Jesse’s truck while the work went on was now hoovering up biscuit crumbs, but at his owner’s call, he zoomed to Jesse’s side and began trotting happily along beside us.

This was another difference I’d noticed from the short while I’d been down here. Life was lived at a different pace from the hectic frenzy of the city. I’m sure in some of the bigger towns nearby, things were more amped up but in the pretty hamlet in which Paradise Farm sat, it was as though time moved slower and no one was in any particular rush. Jesse gave off the same vibe. He was calm and steady at the same time as getting things done, the perfect examples being last night and then organising everyone today. Even being in his presence had a calming effect.

‘That was a good thing you just did,’ he said, then turned to look at me. ‘I’m not sure if that came out as patronising. If it did, then it was unintentional.’

‘I don’t know you very well, but I think I’ve already grasped that’s not your style and not only because your sister would totally kick your arse if you tried it.’

His laugh was full and deep as he tipped his head to the clear blue sky above, his eyes closed, the enviable long lashes resting momentarily on his cheeks. ‘That is very true.’

‘But thank you for checking. I’m glad you felt it was the right thing to do. I’ll admit I was totally winging it!’

‘Then you should do that more often.’

‘That’s what landed me here in the first place!’

He turned his head. ‘And you think that’s a bad thing?’

‘Honestly, I’m still trying to work that out. It’s been… interesting so far, I can certainly say that.’

‘Yeah. You certainly know how to bring the drama.’

‘Not intentionally!’ I bristled.

His hand was on my arm, gentle. ‘It was a joke.’

‘Oh… right. Yes.’ I looked away from him and continued walking, annoyed with myself for bursting the bubble of easiness that had surrounded us, but something about the words had rankled.

Don’t be such a drama queen, Felicity! It’s not always about you! I’m far more the injured party here. How on earth will I ever be able to face anyone again! Your father’s ruined my life!

‘Hey.’ The deep voice prodded me back to reality.

‘Sorry, miles away.’

Jesse stopped and after a few more steps, I realised and stopped too.

‘What is it?’ I asked.

‘You.’

‘Me?’

‘Yeah. You’ve been like a different person all morning and whatever I just said was me putting my size fourteen right in the middle of something because now you’re back being as tightly wound as a roll of baling wire.’

‘Really, it’s nothing.’

He shoved a hand in his jeans pocket and studied me for a moment. ‘OK. But when you’re ready, I’m happy to listen.’

Jesse walked on.

* * *

‘This is the lower paddock.’ Jesse looked at the huge padlock that was looped on the end of an equally huge chain keeping the gate closed. ‘I’m guessing one of the keys you have up at the house fits that.’

‘That’s a fun job for later, then. Guess the key! Is that the stabling over there?’ I asked, my hand shading my eyes from the sun and pointing to a small block in the corner of the field.

‘That’s it.’

‘Do you mind if we take a look?’

‘Not at all,’ Jesse replied and we began climbing over the gate. This task was obviously a lot easier when you had long legs. At nearly a foot shorter, I was taking a little longer.

‘Gosh, it’s a long time since I’ve done this sort of— aaarrggghhhhhh!’

The mud was cold, thick and dark. Luckily, my ears were still exposed enough for me to hear Jesse’s, ‘Oh, shit!’ and I desperately hoped that the words were merely a cry of surprise rather than factual observation.

‘Pffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttt!’ I spat out as I was lifted by two large, strong arms and stood back upright, minus one slightly too large wellington boot.

‘Are you all right?’

I didn’t answer immediately as I yanked a tissue from my pocket and wiped away what mud I could from my eyes so that I could at least see. Although the thought of facing anyone, let alone Jesse Woods, in my current state, made me briefly wonder whether I should bother. Then I remembered he’d already pretty much seen me at my worst, so the point was probably moot.

Suddenly, something occurred to me.

‘Why do I always make a fool of myself when you’re around?’

‘You what now?’

‘It’s you!’ I said, pointing at him.

‘What’s me?’

‘Something about you. Until I came here, I was quite capable of conducting myself in an appropriate manner without injuring either my pride or anyone else in the process. Within days, all that had gone out of my completely rotten windows!’

‘So, it’s my fault?’

‘You seem to be the common denominator.’

‘Right.’ He nodded and didn’t disagree, just rumpled his brow and appeared to be thinking about it.

‘I take it there’s running water in the stables?’ I asked.

Jesse gave a shrug. ‘Not entirely sure, I’m afraid. None of us have been up here for years. As you might have guessed, Joe was kind of the black sheep of the family and we all kept apart by silent but mutual agreement.’

‘There must be a tap, especially if you’re charging people money to stable their animal there.’

We got closer to the building and I looked around. Surely this couldn’t be it? But there was nothing else in sight.

‘This is it?’

Jesse shrugged.

A ramshackle outbuilding with a patched-up door and, as we soon discovered, nowhere to get fresh water for the horses.

‘Pat must have brought everything they needed each time.’

‘That’s ridiculous. I need to make this more suitable for Maisie and Honey.’

Jesse leant against the door jamb, the low afternoon sun slanting light across his face, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and defined jaw. He pulled his cap down a little more to shade his eyes.

‘What do you need done?’

I proceeded to give a quick overview of the alterations needed. ‘Obviously there’s no mains water out here but a bowser would at least provide fresh water if I get it refreshed every couple of days.’

‘Mmm-hmm.’

I waited a beat. ‘Your expression says you have other ideas.’

‘What expression?’

‘The face you pull when you’re thinking.’

‘I wasn’t aware I had one.’

‘Oh, you do. Very much so.’

He straightened away from the door, his eyes now crinkling at the corners with amusement. ‘Is that right? So how come nobody else has ever mentioned this?’

‘I have no idea. Probably they’re a little scared of you. You can look quite intimidating, even though I’m sure they all know you wouldn’t hurt a fly.’

‘Actually, flies have an incredible ability to piss me off.’

‘Well, yes. Me too. Bad example. Anyway. I have no idea why it’s not come up before but, as you don’t scare me, I can mention it. Now, what’s your idea?’

‘First off, I’m glad you’re not scared of me. I’d feel like a shit if you were, but also it doesn’t surprise me because despite appearances, you’re tougher than some blokes I’ve known. Probably not supposed to say that these days either, but I’ve said it now.’

‘Despite appearances?’ I prompted.

‘You’re very ladylike.’ He took in the mud currently plastered over me. ‘Usually.’

‘And ladylike can’t be tough?’

‘Not what I said. At least not what I meant.’

I tilted my head at him in question.

‘I’m kind of wishing I’d kept my mouth shut now.’

I took a step towards him. ‘Aha, but you didn’t so now you have to explain.’

He closed his eyes and tipped his head back. ‘Can I have a guarantee that you won’t take it the wrong way?’

‘No.’

‘Fine.’ He crossed his arms, the shirtsleeves now rolled up to expose forearms with muscles like braided wire and dusted with dark hair. I tried to ignore them. What was it about forearms on blokes, especially good, strong ones like these? I raised my eyes and concentrated. Hard.

‘OK. I won’t take it wrong.’

‘Can I have that in writing? Especially as we’re going to be housemates for a few days. I don’t have locks on my bedroom doors.’

‘Funny.’

Jesse grinned. Great forearms and a killer smile. Quite the combination. One half of my brain was lighting a fire and the other side was rushing over and rugby-tackling the matches away.

‘Go on, then.’

‘Let’s walk back up around the perimeter of the grounds. That way, I can show you the boundary properly and if we’re walking, I’ll feel less cornered than I do right now.’

I rolled my eyes as we fell into step beside each other.

As we walked, Jesse pointed out the boundaries, who they abutted and any significance of the views in the distance.

‘You’re stalling,’ I said as he pointed out a hill, apparently called ‘Bob’s Knob’. A childish part of me wanted to snigger at that but adult me held it in.

‘Not at all. Just giving you a chance to either giggle or make a comment about the name. You’re clearly bursting to.’

‘Rubbish. I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Well,’ he said, looking at me and seeing straight through. ‘That’s disappointing. I’d hoped your humour was more puerile than that.’

My lips twitched, wanting to laugh. ‘So,’ I continued. ‘You said I was ladylike, which apparently can’t mean tough.’

‘Nope. That’s not what I said. You’re really not going to let this drop, are you?’ The glance at me as he spoke confirmed the question was rhetorical. ‘From first glance, you’re petite and slight and look like a strong gust of wind would blow you over, but,’ he hurried on as he sussed I was about to interject, ‘clearly none of that is true. I know from first-hand experience that you can swing a piece of timber with heft.’ He touched the faint scar my unintentional swipe had left.

‘I refuse to apologise for that again.’

Jesse grinned and this time, I turned away as my brain was once again waving the box of matches with enthusiasm, threatening to light a fire I was worried I might not be able to put out.

‘But, seriously, the way you handled yourself the other day with the storm. That takes guts. And then today. You just got stuck in, hauling stuff out of that shed.’

‘Garden room, please,’ I teased.

‘My point is,’ he said, stopping and catching my arm, his touch gentle, ‘that although coming here was clearly not a considered and thoroughly researched decision, you’ve taken it all in your stride, refusing to give in even when a ruddy great tree comes through your roof.’

‘Thank you,’ I replied, the sentiment genuine. ‘You’re very kind, but the truth is I’ve not really had much option but to get on with it. What choice do I have?’

‘You could have sold the house the moment you got here. Developers are always keen for sites like this. From what I understood, my cousin was negotiating something, which is why all the stuff in the house was only half done. It was too much like hard work and he decided just to sell it on to builders. Obviously it fell through and by that time, he’d got bored, as is his way, and just sold it on. You could have done that.’

‘To be honest, it didn’t cross my mind that there may be that sort of opportunity available.’

He tilted his head. ‘Is it one you’re considering now?’

Was it?

‘No. Although perhaps developers would find it difficult to get a change of use permission for the land anyway?’

‘There’s people around here who’ve got the money to make it happen if they want.’ His expression had darkened as he spoke.

‘That sounds like a story.’

He continued without elaborating. ‘But what I am saying is that I’m glad you didn’t decide to do that.’

‘Don’t like the thought of a swanky spa hotel in your neck of the woods? There’s certainly plenty of mud available for their treatments.’ I’d wiped the worst of it off but I was in no doubt I still looked a fright.

‘It’s not that. Sometimes, people get talked out of land, or into decisions that they aren’t necessarily 100 per cent behind.’

‘And you think I’m at risk of that?’

‘God, no!’ His laughter was sudden and rich, curling itself around me and teasing a smile onto my face with ease whether I wanted it to or not. Although, right now, I didn’t mind in the slightest. ‘I find it hard to believe anyone could talk you into doing anything you didn’t want to.’

‘I’m not entirely sure how to take that, bearing in mind how amusing you find it.’ I tried to squash down the smile and give Jesse a considered look instead but my brain was having none of it. ‘However, I’m going to take it as a compliment.’

‘It was meant as one,’ he replied, easily. With some others of my acquaintance, the smooth reply might have had me suspicious but, from the short time I’d known this man, it seemed that he had no issues about calling a spade a spade and no inclination to butter people up.

We walked on and as we got closer to the house, Jesse veered off, heading towards another gate into yet another field I apparently owned. He unhitched the latch and pushed it forward, closing it after me and giving it a little wiggle to make sure it was secure.

‘Are there any animals in here that might get out?’ I asked, watching his movements then casting an admittedly nervous glance back towards the field in case a herd of bulls – do bulls live in herds? – appeared on the horizon.

‘Nope,’ he replied, turning. ‘You can relax.’

‘I’m completely relaxed!’ I batted back, in a very much not relaxed voice.

Jesse threw me a look that told me, even if there weren’t bulls in the area, he could smell BS all the same.

‘Fine.’ I fell into step beside him. ‘But you have to understand all this countryside stuff is new to me.’

‘More croquet and Champagne on the lawn than heifers and sheep, eh?’

‘I think that’s what one would call reverse snobbery.’

‘I think that’s what this one would call a genuine question. You’ve not said much about your history other than having a flat and a life in London. Jules pointed out your expensive taste in clothes and you mentioned you went to an exclusive private school. Those things paint a certain type of picture,’ he finished with a shrug.

‘Yes. I suppose they do and, OK, yes, my experience of the country has been more croquet and Champagne, if you must know.’ My hackles had raised, ready for a less than flattering comment about my previous lifestyle.

‘Never got the hang of croquet. Played a few times and got utterly thrashed every time.’

‘That’s because you didn’t have me on your team.’

He turned to face me as we came to another abandoned outbuilding, the small, red bricks of its walls suggesting it was Victorian in origin. The state of it also suggested that era was the last time it had been used. My eyes roamed the outside before settling back on my guide. The late-afternoon sun was doing amazing things for his skin and the contours of his face.

‘Bit of a croquet ringer, are you?’

‘You’d better believe it.’

‘I’ll have to remember that.’

I smiled up at him without thinking and the one I received in return sent a tingling and not unpleasant warmth throughout my body.

‘So what’s this building, then? Apart from in need of attention, like everything else here.’

‘From what my gran had managed to find out digging through the family history, it’s a shelter built to house donkeys the family had adopted. Pretty run-down at the moment, but,’ he slapped the wall of it a couple of times with his large palm, ‘it’s solid.’

‘Victorian?’ I asked.

‘Spot on. They knew how to build things back then.’

‘So why are we here?’

‘Apart from helping you familiarise yourself with what you paid good money for, I wanted to share a thought I’d had.’

‘Oh, yes?’

‘What about moving the stabling to this field? There’s another entrance down there,’ he pointed to a gate the other side, adjoining the long driveway, ‘so anyone using it wouldn’t need to come up to the house. And,’ he walked to the other side of the building, ‘there’s this.’

‘A tap!’ Who’d have guessed just a few short weeks ago I’d have been so thrilled to see an outdoor tap?

Jesse turned it. Nothing.

‘Oh.’ The smile left.

‘Probably just turned off at the mains. I can look at that if you want.’

‘That’d be great. Just when you have time, of course.’ I was suddenly aware that me and my house had taken up the best part of this man’s day. ‘I expect you want to be getting home.’

‘Is that a hint for me to bugger off?’

‘No! God, no!’ Oh, crap. Did that sound far too keen? ‘I mean… I’m… incredibly grateful for all the time you’re spending helping me. I just thought you might need to get back… to something… someone…’

‘Nope.’ His answer was succinct and unbothered. ‘But if you’ve had enough for today, that’s totally understandable.’

‘Not at all,’ I replied, unexpected relief causing my shoulders to relinquish the tension I’d just put into them. ‘This… all of it, it’s been, well, you’ve been great.’

‘It’s nothing.’

‘It’s not nothing. And I definitely owe you dinner.’

I saw his back stiffen as he stepped inside the building.

Shit.

I followed him in. ‘I’m sure you didn’t think this, but, just to be clear, that wasn’t me asking you out.’

‘I know,’ he said, without turning.

‘Oh. Right. OK. So why do you look like a flagpole just got shoved somewhere unpleasant?’

‘That expensive education certainly wasn’t wasted, was it? You have a way with words.’

I pulled a face that suggested I disagreed.

‘Do I make you nervous?’ I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

The flicker of a smile teased his mouth and he did his best to hide it. ‘No, Felicity, you don’t make me nervous.’

‘I didn’t think so. I get the idea that’s not a feeling you get too often.’

‘You’d be right.’

‘So why did you go rigid when I suggested dinner?’

‘Because, although both you and I know that it wouldn’t be a date, others would make up their own stories.’

‘And that bothers you? ’I asked.

‘Would it bother you?’

‘No. People write their own stories about you whatever. If they want to think that, there’s nothing you or I could do to stop them. I have to say I’m surprised that’s an issue for you, if I’m honest. We’ve already established you’re not afraid to say what’s what, so the fact that you’d be concerned about idle gossip is unexpected.’

‘I’m not concerned,’ he replied.

‘Oh… Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h.’

He didn’t care but someone else might, which meant me staying at his place was not ideal either.

He squinted down at me. ‘Whatever you’re thinking it is, I’m pretty sure I can guarantee it’s not.’

‘No, look. You’ve been amazing and I certainly don’t want to get in the way of anything for you.’

‘Felicity—’

I continued. ‘I’m sure the local pub will be fine for a few days and if needs be, I can hire a car and go a bit further.’

‘Felicity—’

Again, I carried on. ‘Even a taxi. It’s not like I need or can do much here until the surveyor’s been so I can spend that time looking online for a car?—’

‘Felicity, stop!’

The words bounced off the brick walls and I jumped, swallowing the rest of the sentence, automatically stepping backwards unsteadily where the flooring had sunk. Jesse was across the space in three long-legged strides, his hands wrapping gently around my upper arms.

‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you jump.’

‘I’m fine.’

But both of us could feel the tension.

I moved away, back towards the door and the lowering winter sun, Jesse’s hands falling away as I did so.

‘Felicity…’

‘You don’t have to explain.’

‘What?’ His forehead furrowed so deeply, the two dark brows were practically touching. ‘Of course I do.’

‘Jesse.’ My arms were crossed but this time in an unconscious stance of defence.

‘Felicity…’ he replied, taking a step closer. ‘Are you going to let me speak now?’

I gave a stiff-shouldered shrug and he tilted his head down, the peak of the cap shadowing his eyes from the sun but allowing me to see them in all their long-lashed glory.

‘I’m sorry I snapped at you.’

‘Apology accepted.’ I went to move but Jesse shifted just enough to block me. I looked up at him with irritation.

‘Thanks, but I’m not done. I’m not bothered what people think about me and if you’re immune to gossip, that’s good too. Best way to be, if you ask me. But there’s someone I do need to make sure knows the situation.’

‘Which is what I was trying to say!’ I huffed out. ‘If there’s someone you like?—’

‘There isn’t.’ He cut across. ‘Not like that. But I need to tell my wife’s family what’s going on.’

‘Nothing’s going on! Wait… what? You’re married!’ What the hell was Julie playing at with her hints and nudging me in her brother’s direction all the time knowing that he was married? I strode past him outside, suddenly needing air.

‘Yes. No,’ he said, following me.

‘It’s usually one or the other when someone refers to their wife.’ I did my best to keep the sarcasm low level. There was nothing between Jesse and me. He’d had plenty of time to throw in a flirty move or two in the time we’d been together, but there’d been nothing. But this still felt like something I should have known, if not for any reason but to stop me making an idiot of myself!

‘She died.’

And right then I felt like a total and utter shit.