Chapter 37 JR
JR
“What the fuck did you do, man?” Archer asked, sliding into the booth across from me.
Taking a sip of my beer, I pretended to not know what he was talking about. “What?”
He pinned me with a look that told me I was being an idiot. “It’s all around town. The big fight that broke up Josie and JR. Except, you don’t come out looking so hot. So, I reiterate, what the fuck did you do?”
I took the final swig of my beer, carefully setting down the mug so I didn’t slam it into the wooden top and break the damn thing. I was strung up and on edge, but that wasn’t the worst of it.
I had a fucking milkshake thrown at me. Again.
And the kicker of it was that I was leaving the hardware store. Again.
Hell, I even stopped and talked to the old couple. I had a cup of coffee, not wanting to relive the last time I was there and pissed off everyone in town. And I still got a milkshake to the face for my trouble.
“Doesn’t matter what happened.”
“Dude, you have something sticky in your hair. That’s not normal.”
“Milkshake,” I muttered. “What are you doing here, anyway? Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”
Sighing, he pulled out an envelope and slid it across the table to me. “We’ve got a job.”
Any good humor I may have had left fled my body. I wanted the job desperately, but staring at that envelope, I knew if I took the job—if I went through with what was most likely inside—I would never be able to get back in the good graces of my neighbor.
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
I had started over here unintentionally, and I found someplace I could actually call home for the first time in my life, though I hadn’t admitted it to myself until this very moment.
But I hadn’t even realized it was something I wanted until this job was placed in front of me. The truth was, a town like this was bad for a guy like me. I did bad things, I hurt people and enjoyed it. The people here were all good, wholesome, and generally decent people. And I…
I was everything that didn’t belong around any of them.
I didn’t belong around Josie.
But still…if I took that job, there would be no hope of me ever starting over. I would just go back to the life I’d been living so carelessly since I got out of foster care.
And what about Alyssa? She might actually be in a good place now.
Could I really risk letting my profession get in the way of putting her on the right path?
She deserved this place a hell of a lot more than I did.
Hell, she needed it to thrive. Doing this would only endanger the little progress she had made in the short time she’d been here.
I couldn’t do it. I slid the envelope back across the tabletop to him.
“Sorry, man. Not interested.”
Huffing out a laugh, he shoved it back at me. “I don’t think you understand. That last job…he’s fucking pissed. If you don’t want that lunatic on your ass, you’ll take the damn job. I’ll be with you this time.”
“Right,” I sighed.
His eyes narrowed at me. “I said I will.”
“You said that last time, too, and then you bailed on me, putting me in the position that landed me here in the first place,” I hissed.
“There was nothing I could do about that. Bailey—”
“Yeah, I know all about Bailey,” I sighed. “Fuck, I can’t do this, Archer. I can’t throw away everything I’ve got here.”
“You’re not. You do this job with me and then you’re out.”
“You’re never really out,” I muttered under my breath.
“Listen, I swear to God, this is the last one, and I’m not bailing on you this time. But he’s fucking angry that it went sideways. And you don’t want him coming to find you,” he hissed.
No, I really didn’t fucking want that. Not because I was scared of him, but because it would only bring trouble down on everyone’s heads.
Sighing, I took the envelope and tore it open, staring at the contents. By all intents and purposes, it seemed like a pretty straightforward job. Take out the son of a bitch who shot the boss’s son. Easy enough. And when that was done, I’d be out.
“Fine. Last job.”
He signaled the bartender and ordered two beers, then turned back to me with that inquisitive look that bordered on intrusive.
“What really happened?”
I leaned back, trying to avoid that look I knew too well. He wasn’t going to drop this, and if I didn’t tell him, he’d only keep asking.
“It was a misunderstanding.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “A misunderstanding that has half the town hoping you choke on a carrot and die.”
I slid my hand along my jaw, bristling at how long my beard was getting. I never let it grow out, but that past week without Josie had done a number on me. I hadn’t been the same without her in my bed.
And then I went and threw it all away.
“How long are you gonna live this life, Archer?”
His eyes darkened at the question. Only I knew the true reason why he did what he did, and his reasons for not getting out. It would take something really insane to get him to stop living the life we did. It was his outlet, his way of releasing that pent-up anger always simmering under his skin.
But it would slowly kill him, just like it was killing me.
“How long are you gonna deny that you really want Josie?”
He had a point.
“Call me crazy, but I don’t think a guy like me is good for a woman like Josie.”
“Then why the hell did you ever let her in your bed?”
Because I couldn’t resist the temptation. Not that I would ever admit that to Archer.
“What time do we leave?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Tomorrow morning. He wants the job done tomorrow night.”
“That’s not a lot of time to prepare.”
Shaking his head, he looked away from me. “Since when do we need time to prepare for a job like this? It’s pretty fucking simple. Do the job and get out.” He leaned forward in his seat and grinned at me. “Then you can come home to your life with Betty Crocker.”
I took a swig of my beer and ignored his jab.
If only he knew how much I really wanted that.
And I had a feeling he understood more than he was letting on.
I’d seen the looks he shot at Cheyenne when he thought no one was looking.
But that was the thing about being a bartender.
I always saw more than anyone wanted me to see.
And something about Cheyenne got Archer all riled up. More than I had ever seen in the entire time I’d known him.
I followed his line of sight, but pretended not to notice the way his hand tightened around his mug as Cheyenne laughed with Maverick, the town sheriff.
Shoving out of his seat, he slammed back the rest of his beer, then tossed his mug back on the table, garnering a reaction from every single person in the place.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Yep,” I nodded, drinking the last of my own beer.
And then something cold and smelling suspiciously like strawberries splashed against my face. “Jerk.”
“Milo!”
I watched from my window as Josie chased Milo around the yard, trying to get him to go back inside so she could leave for work. A small smile spread across my lips as I watched the dog taunt her with the idea that she might win, only to run away at the last minute.
“Milo, I have to get to work!” she shouted, her yelling loud enough to penetrate the windows of my house. She must be pissed this morning.
And I wondered how much of that had to do with me. Taking a step back, I ran my fingers through my hair and pretended that the woman outside was nothing more than another neighbor.
But that wasn’t true. It would never be true, no matter how much I tried to tell myself the opposite.
“You know, you could just go apologize,” Alyssa said from behind me.
I hadn’t realized she was even up. Either I was getting really bad at my job, or I was too relaxed around my sister. Neither one of those things was good.
“I’m taking off. Don’t burn the house down,” I said, snatching my bag off the floor.
But before I could leave, she rushed forward and grabbed my arm. “I’m worried about you.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve never seen you want a woman like you want her.”
I couldn’t hide a damn thing from Alyssa. She knew me too well. But that didn’t mean I was going to admit anything.
“I should only be gone a few days. If you need anything—”
“I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself.”
I hesitated, almost blurted out something that would definitely piss her off, but thought better of it at the last minute. And based on the look she shot me, she was well aware of what was going on in my head.
“Just be safe,” she said, instead of lecturing me about my inability to keep my mouth shut when things got heated. She had no idea how much I needed her to tell me that yesterday.
“I will. And call Cheyenne about that apartment.”
“So ready to get rid of me?” she teased, but I saw the insecurity in her eyes.
Walking over to her, I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. “Believe it or not, I want you in my life. Just not in my house. Kind of puts a damper on things when I bring women home.”
“Josie,” she corrected.
Pressing a kiss to her cheek, I stepped back and tried to convey just how much I wanted her around. “I’m glad you’re here. Don’t run out while I’m gone.”
“I make no guarantees,” she teased.
Grabbing my bag, I headed out the door, ignoring my neighbor trying to wrangle the dog. But that only lasted until I was in the truck. As soon as that door slammed, my eyes found her.
And she was staring right at me.
No, glaring.
Fuck, I had really screwed things up with her. Not that I would take back a word of what I said. Probably.
Not that I had any right to say a damn thing about her mother. That was a low blow, and since she had never brought her up before, talking about it was pretty damn intrusive.
But she pushed me.
Or I pushed her. Fuck, I couldn’t even sort out in my head what had happened.
I was trying to get her to open up, and then when she started laughing about the incident with Austin, I just lost it.
The thought of her getting hurt because she didn’t take Austin’s threat seriously really grated on me.
It didn’t matter that it had happened years ago. To me, he needed to be taken out.
And she acted like he was just a dumb drunk kid.
I cranked the engine and backed out, refusing to give her another thought. She couldn’t be in my life. It would never work out, and trying to figure out how to make it work would be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
I met Archer at his place and drove in near silence most of the day. The great thing about Archer was that he didn’t care to talk any more than me. In fact, silence was pretty much his game.
The hours passed with barely a word being spoken, other than to give updates on the whereabouts of our target. We pretty much had a blueprint for where this guy would be at what time. It would be a simple in-and-out job.
When I pulled up outside the motel a few hours later, Archer checked us in while I grabbed the gear. As soon as we were inside, we laid out our plans and went over all possible scenarios.
“Are you sure your head’s in the game?” he asked when I checked my guns.
“One hundred percent.”
“Because I know you’ve been thinking—”
“I said I’m fine,” I snapped, slamming the magazine back into the gun. “Can we just get this over with?”
When he didn’t say anything for a minute, I turned and faced him. But instead of saying a word, he just stared at me.
“Whatever’s on your mind, forget it. There’s nothing going on.”
Sighing, he rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. A move I had seen many times before when something weighed on his mind. “You’ve got that look.”
“What look?”
“The one that says you’re not all in. You know why we have to do this.”
“Yeah, and we’ll do it. What’s the problem?”
“If we go in there, and you flake out—”
I surged forward and grabbed him by the shirt, shoving him against the wall. “What the fuck did you just say to me?” I hissed.
“If I don’t say it, who will?” he bit out. “Can you tell me one hundred percent that you don’t have any issues with going in there and wasting this guy, then turning around and going home to Josie? Because I can’t have you doubting yourself in there.”
“Josie isn’t a problem,” I snapped, jerking my hands away from him. “There’s nothing going on between us.”
“You’re sleeping with her!”
“And that’s all it is,” I argued, turning my back on him.
“You can lie to anyone else,” he snapped, “but you can’t lie to me. I’ve been in this too long with you. I know when your head is in the game.”
Was Josie an issue? Hell yes. She was absolutely on my mind, but I knew I could never have her.
I would never be the man she needed, and because of that, it knocked her clearly into the category of untouchable.
Which meant anything I did here tonight would have no effect on anything that happened with her.
I shoved my gun into my holster and grabbed my jacket, heading for the door. “We have a job to do. Are you just gonna stand there?”
I strode out into the night and didn’t look back once to see if he followed.