Seventeen
CHAPTER
Over time, I healed. I had been told that time healed all, but quite frankly, I wasn’t entirely convinced that was true.
Physically, the pain went away. Mentally and emotionally, the pain only grew with each passing day.
I had become a shell of who I once was. A ghost. For the first two weeks in the Realm of Stars, I skipped meals and slept the days away.
I lost a significant amount of weight despite Zathrian and Mateo’s efforts to get me to eat with them.
I had no drive to live any longer, despite being an Eternal being.
What once felt like a blessing now felt more like a curse.
Quietly, I made my way down the hall, my arms wrapped around my navy-blue corset that had tiny stars scattered across the fabric. The smell of Shepherd’s pie drew me in, a weakness of mine. The distant sounds of music and laughter that came from the dining room caused me to hesitate by the door.
I don’t belong here.
They dressed me in their colors as if I did.
I wore a deep blue and silver dress with shimmering stardust and detailed embroidery—clothes that represented those within the Court of Stars.
White and gold were replaced by blue and silver.
I was considered a guest, and those within the Realm welcomed me with open arms as if their home was also mine.
Not a single person forced me to do anything I did not wish to do.
For that, I was thankful. I felt comfortable here.
As much as I wanted to deny it, that was the truth.
Even though I was unsure of what drew me out of the confines of my bedroom this evening in particular, deep down, part of me was glad that I entered the dining room.
Laughter echoed around me. Zathrian turned toward me, gesturing for me to come and sit between him and Viotto.
Viotto was part of the Court of Stars with the rest of the beings who sat at the walnut table we shared.
He had emerald eyes, and long curly black hair that hung over his shoulders.
I was surprised Viotto was even here due to him patrolling the borders most of the time, at least that’s what Mateo had always told me.
It wasn’t often he came around unless Zathrian had ordered him to.
“You should have seen his face, he looked like the big bad wolf huffing and puffing the way he was at training today,” Mateo snickered, and Viotto elbowed him hard in the ribcage.
“For your information, no one was huffing or puffing.” Viotto sipped from his goblet, unamused by Mateo’s playful nature, it seemed, by the line that formed between his brows.
“Uh-huh, suuuure,” Mateo said, less than convinced. He reached over to plop more mashed potatoes onto his plate. “He was totally huffing and puffing. It was like we’d never sparred before. His stamina was one of a newborn baby, and he’s supposed to be the mighty warrior out of us.”
Viotto rolled his eyes.
“Are you hungry?” Zathrian asked. I nodded, and he reached over and pulled a piece of Shepard’s pie onto my empty plate as well as a few other delicious-looking sides.
He knew me well enough to know what I would and wouldn’t eat. I appreciated the fact he even remembered that detail to begin with.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You’re welcome.” He smiled.
The food here was rich and filling, unlike—I shook that thought away.
I picked up my fork, nibbling here and there, pushing my food around my plate more than actually eating it.
Gods above, the food here was far better than the Realm of Clouds.
I hated to admit it, but it was the truth.
I used to be a gluttonous eater, but now eating felt like a task.
Heartbreak did that to a person, I supposed.
Akira, Celeste, and Narcissa were at the other side of the table.
Akira was the shortest, and most petite of the trio, with short black hair, big brown eyes, sharp brows, and pouty lips.
Celeste was curvy and voluptuous and absolutely beautiful with long curly hair, much like my own, but far thicker and the color of dark chocolate.
Narcissa had long black curls, emerald eyes, and smooth rounded features.
She was ethereal, tall, and slender. Beings across all the Realms were gorgeous in my eyes.
The whole ‘Divine being’ thing tended to attract the eye, I suppose.
The three women were sweet and spent a great deal of time trying to coax me out of bed by enticing me with pretty dresses and sparkly hair clips just like theirs.
We weren’t close by any means, but their efforts were appreciated.
I had Narcissa to thank for the dress I currently wore, and Celeste for the braids in my thick curly hair.
They somehow managed to get me to reluctantly join the lot of them, even if it was only for dinner.
I never even gave them an answer on if I was going to come or not, given they invited me time and time again and I never managed to get myself to leave the guest room. Until now.
Nevan entered, seeming more annoyed than usual.
He was also in the Court of Stars. To my understanding, all the boys were childhood friends.
Friends for decades, I think. Nevan was the only one who seemed to have facial hair.
Stubble, mostly. He hadn’t shaved recently by the looks of it.
His eyes were brown, as was his hair. Similar to Mateo’s in length but not nearly as curly.
I tilted my head to the left. Nevan approached Zathrian on the opposing side of me and mumbled in his ear.
I watched a line form between Zathrian’s brows.
“Is that what he said?” he questioned Nevan.
“As much as I wish that wasn’t the case, it is,” Nevan replied.
Zathrian sighed. Sliding a hand through his hair, he nodded. “We will discuss this later. Such things should not be discussed at the dinner table. Now is a time for us to unwind for the day, not rile ourselves back up with things out of our control.”
Why do you seem so stressed all of a sudden?
“Understood.” Nevan grabbed a goblet of his own and sat beside Narcissa and across from Viotto. Four of us sat on one side of the table, and four on the other.
“Is everything okay?” I shoved a plentiful spoonful of mashed potatoes into my mouth.
Zathrian nodded. “Nothing for you to be worried about this evening. Just enjoy your dinner.”
Zathrian lifted his hand to playfully grab my nose with his pointer finger and his thumb. I pulled away, glaring at him and taking another bite of my food.
Zathrian chuckled. I wanted to hate him, but for some reason, I couldn’t. At least not entirely. Not when he had been so hospitable to me while I’d recovered in his Realm.
The smallest giggle parted from my lips despite my mouth being full of mashed potatoes. I nudged Zathrian as he gave me that look. Shaking my head I went back to pushing my food around on my plate again. A few bites were better than none at all, I supposed.
Everyone’s conversations overlapped with one another. I tuned them all out.
How is it I somehow felt entirely alone despite being in a room filled with people, laughing and having a good time? I wish I could turn back time and prevent this all from happening to begin with. I never should have stuck my nose where it didn’t belong.
Dinner here reminded me of dinner there. When Acheron, Neil, Aradia, and I would sit down together and share a meal. We would laugh and talk… The thought caused me to lose my appetite. I placed my fork down.
After everything he has done to me, why do I miss him? Why do I want to run back home into his arms? Why do I miss Acheron’s tangents and Aradia’s piano lessons? Why do I miss those piercing violet eyes? The smell of citrus and cinnamon?
I hadn’t been in the Realm of Stars for long, but I found myself feeling more at home than I had ever felt anywhere else.
Not even the home I grew up in as a Mortal provided the blanket of security and comfort I felt within Zathrian’s Estate.
As silly as it sounded, I felt as if I was meant to be here all along.
Who was I kidding? I never even had a home. The only family I ever had was dead and I was to blame for it.
I never truly got to know my mother, as she died when I was still a child.
I didn’t remember her face, but I remembered the stories she used to tell me before her death.
I knew that deep down, despite the mistakes my father made, he loved me, too.
He wouldn’t have tried to come for me if he didn’t. That, I was certain of.
By the time I snapped out of my thoughts, the room had gone quiet. Everyone had already finished their meal and dispersed from the table, taking their dirty dishes with them. Everyone except for me, Zathrian, and Mateo.
I lifted my head.
Zathrian glanced in my direction, taking my plate from my place at the table. My lips parted to thank him, yet no words came out. Instead, Mateo’s voice prompted me to turn to him.
“Hey. Do you think we could talk?” Mateo offered a hand.
I hesitated, reaching out to take his hand in mine, and stood up. “Sure,” I said in my usual melancholy tone.
What could he possibly want to talk about?
Mateo let go of my hand, linking his arm with mine instead. He led me down the hall and out to the balcony. The view was breathtaking. Pulling away from Mateo, I leaned against the moonstone railing of the balcony. The sky was filled with glittering stars and shimmering constellations.
Mateo sighed, leaning against the railing, elbow to elbow with me.
“It’s beautiful. Never gets old.” He breathed.
“Yeah, it is,” I replied.
“You know…” The cool breeze brushed against my skin, and out of the corner of my eye I could see the way it made Mateo’s curls shift around his face. “Did I ever tell you about how Acheron and I met?”
I shook my head, but I was curious as to where he was going with this.
He smiled. There was nothing but light and love in those eyes. He really did love Acheron.