Forty-Five
CHAPTER
Just a bad day, not a bad life.
That’s what I kept telling myself. I tossed and turned all night in a cold, empty bed that Zathrian should have shared with me.
He was just busy, that was all.
Way, way more than I anticipated, that was for certain. I knew as a High Lord, he would be busy, given Neil was one, too, but he was never busy in the way Zathrian was.
It was lonely without him.
Lonelier than I cared to admit. I had a gaping hole in my chest. A deep, dark, gaping black void where my heart was supposed to be. Our Bond was strained, but deep down, I knew that he loved me, and it was just a matter of time before he came home to me.
We were Mates. He had to come home to me.
I knew that, even though the dark, intrusive thoughts that clouded my judgment didn’t agree.
My thoughts ran rampant. My abilities kept coming in explosive waves, consumed by thoughts that sought out my demise.
I pushed everyone away. Not because I was scared of hurting myself, but because I was scared of hurting them.
I felt so deeply alone. There was nothing that could be done except to wait and hope that Zathrian would come home and make things right, and soon.
It was early afternoon.
The sun was shining, and I was enjoying a cup of afternoon tea alone on the terrace.
Sitting alone in the swing chair, admiring the scenery that made up the surrounding area of Zathrian’s Estate.
My home. The ground was covered in silvery sand that sparkled like diamonds.
The plants were lush and voluptuous, and the architecture was more beautiful than that of the finest building in the Mortal Realm.
It truly was far more magnificent than I could have imagined from the mere stories my mother once told me.
Each day, I was in awe of the beauty of this place. Every time I thought I had seen it all, I was amazed all over again by the mystery and wonder that filled the Realm. My current thoughts came to an abrupt halt. My senses heightened as I felt the Bond.
I felt him.
Inhaling deeply, I picked up on the familiar scent of the person I loved so dearly.
The scent of Tobacco Vanille.
Looking down at my cup of half-consumed tea, my expression was soft and my features tired.
The cushion shifted beside me. I didn’t look at him, but I didn’t need to in order to know that it was Zathrian who sat down.
The handkerchief I made him was still tucked away in the pocket of my dress, waiting for the right moment. If there ever was one.
“It’s a nice day out,” Zathrian said softly, breaking the silence between us.
The breeze caught his hair. He had no idea how handsome he really was. I took another deep breath, primarily so I could take another whiff of his scent. It was so comforting, being in his presence, even if things were rocky as of late.
“It is, yeah,” I replied, pulling my cup of tea to my lips to take another sip.
“How have things been?” he asked hesitantly.
Unease and worry traveled through the Bond. I wondered if he knew he was doing that or not. “Good, good,” I replied, nodding, holding the cup of tea in my lap once more.
Silence loomed over us for a moment. A moment that felt like eons, in truth. I just wasn’t sure what to say. I felt so silenced, so…
“Defeated?” He finished my thoughts for me.
I nearly glared at him for reading my thoughts without my permission. I didn’t blame him for doing it, though. I wasn’t exactly the best at expressing how I felt. Not with words, anyway. I shrugged, my eyes lowered back down to my cup of tea.
His hand reached for my face, and he cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing against the softness of my skin.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized.
“I know.” I frowned.
Zathrian’s voice softened. “I really am sorry, Aerilyn. I never want you to feel like you can’t talk to me. You can, always, and I want you to always open up to me. No matter how busy I am, I will always find time for you. I didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you, I just—”
“Have responsibilities as a High Lord. I understand.” I couldn’t fault him for his duties.
“I do, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t important. You are my Mate. I am nothing without you. Everything I do, I do it for you.” Zathrian leaned in and planted a sweet kiss against my forehead. “High Lords can make mistakes, too.”
I nodded at his words. The hand cupping my face gently guided my eyes back to his.
“Now, will you please tell me what you were trying to tell me the other day? I really want to know, I do,” he pleaded.
I hesitated. Slowly reaching across the swing chair we sat in and toward the tray table. I placed my cup of tea down. Inhaling deeply, I tried to figure out the right words to say, but none came to mind.
“Aerilyn?” he prompted, patiently listening.
With a shaky hand, I pulled the handkerchief I made for him from my pocket, holding it out to him.
Zathrian looked at the handkerchief, momentarily stunned. His eyes widened, and his olive skin quickly became a deep hue of red. Zathrian caressed the pads of his fingers against the embroidery I did by hand.
“You—” He was at a loss for words, unable to finish his own sentence.
I was nauseous sitting there, watching and waiting for him to say or do something. Anything, really. Each passing moment, I grew more aware of how aggressively my heart was thumping against my chest.
“I—” He pulled the handkerchief away from my hand and pressed it against his chest, presumably realizing what it meant. His eyes watered. One by one, silent tears rolled down his cheeks. “Really?” he whispered.
My own eyes started to water at seeing how emotional he became over the realization of what it meant. That I was accepting the Mate Bond. Officially.
“Really,” I whispered, reaching up to wipe his tears. He smiled, engulfing me in a tight embrace and burying his face into my shoulder.
“This is what you’ve been trying to tell me?” he choked out just barely above a whisper.
I nodded. “Yeah. I stayed up all night trying to make something presentable for you. Celeste and Akira helped and… I kept trying to tell you and you were just so busy and… I just couldn’t find the words…”
“It’s perfect,” he whispered, crying just a bit harder, peppering my face and head in kisses. “You are perfect.”
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you, too.” We both laughed as Zathrian tugged me back to lie on the porch swing with him. Pulling me into his chest, he held me.
I felt nothing but bliss.