Chapter Thirty-Two #2
I studied his shoulder, unable to hold his gaze for fear of his judgment.
“I said it to you that very night. I cursed my father and wished to destroy him with fire. Because of that curse, I returned to a burned down home and became an orphan. King Nolan knew what I’d done.
He helped me keep it a secret, allowing me a chance to redeem myself as his spy.
” My tightening chest warned I had shared too much.
I rallied my resolve, preparing for a long walk alone in the dark toward Vorkut.
His jaw tensed. I deserved his wrath. “Li, you were a child. You don’t even have fire magic. What happened to your parents was not your fault. Nolan used that belief to manipulate you.”
My eyes clenched shut. I wanted that to be true, I really did.
I knew the story that had spread reported a person high on Glint started the fire, but would that have happened if I had not voiced the words?
Confusion filtered in. In my bones, I understood this really was my fault.
It was my burden to carry, to atone for.
His eyes reflected a winter storm. They softened as he beheld me and all the broken pieces of my soul. “Words have power, but not like that. You were just a child. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself. You are a light, Liora. Don’t let Nolan’s lies diminish you.”
His earnest words, warm as liquid gold, filled the ache between my scars. His anger was not toward me. Was the veil that Queen Thaleia saw in me this secret that I’d swallowed whole my entire life to darken my understanding? Had I allowed the king’s lie to invade and debilitate me?
A part of me knew Dom spoke true, even as that young girl inside wrestled with fear-infested what-ifs. The more I entertained the veracity of Dom’s words, the more a sense of freedom lightened me.
Perhaps I could stop punishing myself. I was struck by the thought.
I had lived so long under a shroud of shame and convoluted responsibility.
My time with Dom had begun to heal places I had stamped as incontrovertibly irredeemable.
His thumb traced my bottom lip as he angled my face back up to his own.
“You’re a light, Liora. You’re my light.” His lips brushed mine, warm and tentative. My body responded instantly, melting against him, gripping his shoulders. Tears dripped down my cheeks as our kiss grew hungrier.
Dom pulled back, softly kissing away each of my tears. His hands cupped my jaw and his shadows whispered along my arms, comforting me. Healing me.
“I can’t lose you again.” My words came out in a plea, a prayer against his lips. A dam ruptured and decades of unshed tears silently streamed. Fear and hope and pain coursed out of me. Dom, my anchor, reverently wiped them away, as if he sensed the weight in each sacred drop.
His teeth grazed a sensuous trail along my jaw until his mouth covered mine again. Desire blended with desperation as his tongue traced my parted lips. I needed this. I needed him.
His breath turned ragged and he studied me with quiet reverence.
“M’est kisertes, knowing this curse would end me eventually, I’ve kept myself shut off.
My duty to the Liberation and our realm drives me.
” He exhaled slowly, his whispered words amplified by the icy walls.
“But since I’ve found you, I feel a different duty superseding them all. ”
My breath hitched. He traced a line down my arm as his eyes searched mine.
A question loomed in the depths of his honeyed irises.
Goose bumps followed in the trail of his touch.
A fissure in my armor took root, breaking open.
Too many emotions flooded me—betrayal by my king, shame for my collusion, desire, grief, fear, and when I drank in the vision of Dom, I felt hunger. I felt healing. I felt hope.
I closed my eyes, reveling in his warmth. A violent shiver wracked his body, and his halting breath serrated the air.
“Li…” My name came out breathless, the tone slightly off, then Dom sagged backward, his arm falling listlessly to the side. I grappled for his wrist. It took me too long to find his heartbeat.
Assessing him more clinically, I realized his skin had turned grayer, the curse thickly coursing through his veins now. Their lines ran black beneath his flesh. I had nothing in my satchel that would help. And I wouldn’t make it back in time from Vorkut if I attempted to seek assistance there.
I stared at falling water droplets, mocking the tears that desperately sought escape.
My magic buzzed as I focused on the ice around me.
An idea bloomed. I could use my magic to dilute Dom’s blood, as he used his magic to clot mine.
I had no idea if this would work, and it could potentially cause more harm.
But I had to try. My breathing turned erratic as panic tightened my throat.
I placed my trembling hands on his chest. His shallow intakes of breath bolstered the urgency of my magic. I closed my eyes and imagined my power entering his veins and attacking the poison that feasted on his blood. My affinity gathered in a tidal wave of power, poised for release.
Curses were tangible things made with dangerous and distorted magic, manipulated with words and dark intent.
Something malevolent created this, so I would send the light of my water to fight it back.
Vapor rose from my fingertips as power threaded from me to Dom.
My eyes welled with tears that fell toward his body.
I vaguely registered that they absorbed into his skin, sizzling when it hit char leaving a shimmer in its wake.
I could feel the tarry curse fighting against my affinity.
Dom’s blood pulsed like silk through the fingers of my magic.
The taste of acrid bitterness spilled across my tongue as I plunged into the depths of the toxin.
My affinity pushed back the darkness in his veins, softening their contrast against his sallow skin.
The sweetness of honeyed raspberries slowly replaced the flavor of poison in my mouth.
Tension eased from his body. His heart rate steadily grew stronger. Before my eyes, his skin took on a peachier hue, the anemic pallor fading away. I yielded everything I had into him. My stamina drooped with the effort to expel undiluted magic and control it with such a fine-tuned precision.
He didn’t open his eyes, but his breathing leveled off. I halted my stream of magic, removing my hands from his chest. I wasn’t sure if I’d succeeded, but my apprehension eased.
Sleep clawed at me, my own energy reserves deeply depleted.
I used a tremendous amount of power and needed to replenish it.
I wrapped us in my cloak with halting movements, then lay snugly against him.
I pulled his leaden arm around me. As I closed my eyes, I hoped we would both awaken come morning.