Chapter 39 – Mortician #2
He wouldn’t press his luck, so he dropped the subject, still not appreciating his mama-in-law calling Bailey out of her name.
Roxanne didn’t have her purse, so she probably wasn’t strapped, but there were more than enough knives in the kitchen to “cut a bitch”.
“What do you want me to do, man?” he asked, resting his elbows on the table and cradling his head in his hands.
“If I could undo it, I would. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t let her in. ”
“Tell yourself that fucking lie, but if her or Meggie need you, you drop everything and go.”
“Bailey said the same thing,” Mortician said miserably.
“Bailey needed to shut the fuck up and count her blessings. Yeah, you were a solid presence in Meggie and Kendall’s lives, but you were Bailey’s foundation.
If she wasn’t my daughter, I’d advise you to tell that bitch to kick rocks.
I’d accept that I understand why you did what you did.
And Kendall is too fucking fragile for me to confront her.
Besides, it was your motherfucking dick.
It was up to you to keep it to yourself. ”
“Fuck, I fucked up. I was drunk and miserable. My heart still fucking broken. I want to do right by Bailey and divorce her. You’re telling me not to. So, fuck, hate me. Join Bailey’s club. I don’t give a fuck.”
“Bailey’s been withholding sex?”
He’d made love to Bailey several times on their doomed getaway. “I haven’t even been living at this motherfucker,” he said, dodging the question.
“That’s a fucking non-answer meant to evade what the fuck I asked you.”
“Yes, goddamn it. No. Yes. Kind of. Because of me. I didn’t want to touch her because I didn’t think bringing a baby into the world right now was the thing to do.
Not when she hated CJ and refused to apologize to him or Meggie.
Not when she didn’t understand her bullshit would’ve gotten me and Digger killed.
No, fuck that. Not when she recently wanted me fucked up because she planned to have CJ and Ryan arrested for watching those fucking videos of Harley. ”
Shock crossed her face and she opened her mouth to speak.
“Don’t say that wouldn’t have happened. Meggie wouldn’t have let that fucking stand.
Zoann. Fuck, Outlaw and Val. She wanted to call the fucking police and have them come here.
If Bailey had fucked with CJ to that fucking extent and ruined his fucking life, there would’ve been no saving me.
I’m her fucking husband. I’m supposed to have some sway over her.
I wanted my Bailey back. Not the bitter, miserable woman she became. ”
“Of course it would be Kendall you slept with,” Roxanne said as if none of his words mattered.
“You said you wasn’t upset with her.”
“I said I wasn’t going to confront her. But I didn’t say that to cast aspersions on her. I said it because of Johnnie. Consciously or subconsciously, sleeping with Kendall was the ultimate fuck you.”
“Probably for Kendall, too.”
“Kendall just needs someone reliable in her life. Someone stable, who cares about her, and who wants what’s best for her.
” Rubbing her temples, Roxanne sighed. “I sound like a confused bitch. Maybe, I am. As much as I want to stay outraged and disgusted because I should be loyal to Bailey… When you’re wrong, you’re wrong.
She’s as wrong as you. There’s no getting around that.
But I’m asking you not to leave my daughter.
At least, right now. Let her get through the program.
Find herself again. If she still feels the same way, then let her go.
I don’t think she will. I know my baby. I know deep down she loves you. ”
“I betrayed her,” he said, back to square one.
“You did. Another thing we can’t pretend didn’t happen.
I-I do understand, though,” she said in a ragged voice that made Mortician almost hate himself.
“Even good men do bad things. Fuck up royally because of fucked-up decisions. You fucked up. You cheated. You betrayed Bailey. You got your lick back with Johnnie. He’s damn near his grandfather all over again, so he might kill Kendall just because you touched her.
He wouldn’t be as disgusted if it was Outlaw. ”
“I know, but I played right into his fucking hands. Everything he told Bailey about me and Kendall came true.” Something else Bailey said occurred to Mortician. “Do you think Bailey wanted to sleep with Johnnie?”
“Probably, and it would’ve been out of spite. Bailey’s a mean, hateful heifer. She fucked up with Harley, so she think she should fuck up her entire life and listen to Johnnie. She don’t have a fucking lick of sense.”
“Bailey very smart,” Mort said indignantly.
“Education, yeah? Common sense? Fuck no. She’s just like that motherfucker she allowed to get into her fucking head.
You should divorce that bitch and Kendall leave Johnnie, so those two miserable, vicious, spiteful motherfuckers can get together.
Maybe Kendall could finally be truly happy and feel like she first in a man’s life if she got with you… Fuck!”
Mort widened his eyes.
“Lawd Jesus, I’m losing my fucking mind.
Forget I said that. I…just…I love you like a son, boy…
I just…knowing I’m complicit in that secret because you can’t ever tell Bailey…
But I know, Mortician. I know what you did.
I know how much you regret it and how hurt you are.
I know you need a shoulder to lean on and guidance. So does Kendall.”
“I’m sorry I put you in this position.”
“Me too, sugar,” she said, suddenly looking as if she hadn’t slept for days. She started to slide out of the booth.
“Does Knox know?”
“I didn’t tell him and I don’t plan to.”
“He know my cologne, too.”
“As if that man can figure out that clue.” She laughed fondly. “That’s why he was so shitty at being an undercover private investigator.”
“I told Kendall we can’t talk about our marriages anymore.”
“She’s not going to be here for you to discuss anything.” She slid back into the booth and hope filled her eyes. “Outlaw has something planned?”
“You sure you want to know? You’d have to keep that from Kendall.”
She thought for a minute. “My conscience is burdened enough. I don’t need any more lies and deceit weighing me down.”
Mort remained silent.
“We’re a family, Mort. Families stick together no matter how fucking lowdown shit gets. Even if you say, fuck me, and divorce Bailey, I will always be your mama-in-law. I’m going to work through my various emotions. You work through yours. Don’t do it again unless you divorce my daughter.”
“I won’t.”
“I trust you’ll keep your word, sugar,” she said, snatched her keys from the counter, and sailed away.