Chapter 29 Hell
Iawoke utterly disoriented. Light seared my eyes, and I gasped for air as though I had surfaced from deep beneath the sea.
Raf sat stiffly beside me. He looked shaken, though not nearly as rattled as I felt.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words caught somewhere between my lungs and my throat.
Once my vision cleared and my hands steadied, I reached for the pitcher of water on my bedside table, not bothering with a glass.
I drank greedily, cold water running over my chin and soaking into my nightgown before I even cared enough to stop it.
Before draining the last of it, I handed the pitcher to Raf, who happily drained the remainder.
I scanned the room. For one impossible heartbeat, I expected to find rows of silent boys standing along the walls.
The room was empty. I released a breath I had not realized I was holding.
It was dark, the only light coming from fragments of moonlight spilling through the window.
The metronome still clicked beside the bed and the clock on the mantle revealed that we had been gone for an hour this time.
I do not understand how moments in Liv’s mind felt like hours and an hour in Stanhope’s went so quickly. I shook the thought from my mind.
My eyes fell on the couch where Liv and Ezra were curled together.
Peacefully sleeping. They were so still, so calm.
Even their breathing shared the same rhythm.
They were perfect for each other and for a moment I found myself jealous, longing for that kind of connection.
I pulled the pillow from behind me and threw it at them, startling them awake.
“Wonderful sentries you two turned out to be. It seems that you are more inclined to sleep on the job than to stand watch.” I scoffed playfully as Liv stretched with a loud yawn.
“I am sorry…” Another yawn, smaller this time. “We did not know how long you would be gone, and it was so dark and quiet. Ezra said he would keep watch.”
Ezra stretched beside her, then brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Yes, I did say as much, but you refused, and told me that you would be taking first watch.” Liv tapped her finger on her chin and smiled at him.
“I do not remember saying such a thing.” Her playful smile dissolved into laughter, and he kissed her forehead gently. Ew. Maybe I did not want a connection quite like that.
“Why did it feel like that?” I looked at Raf. I did not even have to clarify. His chest still rose and fell in uneven breaths.
“I think...” He rested a hand against his chest.
“...we tore ourselves away from sleep while our minds were still inside it. Usually the dream lets you go, or someone wakes you naturally. We did neither.”
He grimaced. “From my experience... it leaves you feeling like this.”
Guilt settled over his features, as though he blamed himself for what had happened.
“Were you able to find the girls?” The laughter was gone from Liv's voice. Her expression had turned solemn.
I exchanged a glance with Raf before answering.
Then I nodded. “We found a map. Raf copied every location Stanhope marked. We know where he's planning to look first.”
I drew a slow breath. “We know how to get the girls out.”
I looked toward Raf before continuing. “But... we found something else.”
A chill skittered down my spine that had nothing to do with the crisp autumn air.
“What is it?” Liv knitted her brow in concern.
“His mind was not what we expected. It was disturbingly pristine.”
I sighed, unsure of exactly how to word it.
“There were far too many memories of you, Liv…”
Ezra’s jaw clenched so hard I swore I could hear his teeth crack.
“That was not the strangest of it though…”
Liv’s eyes snapped back to mine and she leaned forward.
“There was a memory… or a dream… it was not like the others. His mind was protecting it. We were attacked... somehow... by his mind's defenses.” I rubbed my temples.
Liv was silent for a long moment. “That changes things.”
She looked down at her hands. “We'll come back to it.”
Her voice steadied. “Right now we have something more urgent. How many girls did you find?”
Liv wasn't asking me. She was speaking entirely to Raf, which should have bothered me, but I couldn't focus through the ache throbbing behind my eyes.
Raf pulled the parchment with the map he had drawn from his rucksack and I made a mental note to ask how he managed to take that between the waking world and dream world.
“Here.” He handed it to her. “I made a map and a list with notes on who they plan to hunt first and which girls we should get to quickest.” He wiped a hand down his face. “And we are going to need help.”
Liv unfolded the parchment. Her eyes widened. “Gods...” She looked up at us. “There are more than fifteen.” Her hand flew to her mouth as a small gasp escaped her. “We do not only need help,” Liv chuckled dryly, “we are going to need more space.”
I scoffed without opening my eyes or raising my head from where it hung between my legs.
“And those are only the girls. Many of them have family who are also being targeted simply for association and harboring. They will need out too.”
I groaned as my body fought against me and the pain in my head grew sharper.
“What is wrong with her?” Liv asked Raf. I could hear the concern in her voice.
“It is because of the way we left the dream.”
Raf's voice remained calm. “It happened to me the first few times as well. Think of it as waking after too much ale. The mind recovers, but it takes time. She will grow accustomed to it. For now...”
He let out a quiet sigh before continuing.
“...she needs rest.” I heard shuffling and the door opening.
Then Raf’s rough hand gripped mine. “I will help her ready a bath and get settled in. Margaret, perhaps you could prepare a tea if you have one that may help? And some snacks as well, please.”
I opened my eyes the slightest bit. Moonlight streamed through the window. Somehow, even that was enough to make me recoil. Liv stood now by the sofa and was practically swooning at Raf’s attention to me. Despite the pain I rolled my eyes.
“I will only rest for a short time. We will need to train some of the older girls so they can help with the extractions of the others. Prepare them. I'll meet you in the training ring after they've had lunch.”
Raf helped me to my feet and my stomach clenched painfully at the idea of him helping me into a bath.
Though my mind protested, I could use the help.