5. Roman
FIVE
ROMAN
October
A lot of people have asked me why I still play hockey and if I still love the game. I’ve been traded a lot in my career, and I like it that way. I’ve never wanted to stick around somewhere long enough to form bonds or have people form expectations.
If I can help my team win, I’ve done my job.
If I can stop the other team from making a goal, I’ve done my job.
Bonding with my teammates has never been a priority.
Each team I’ve played for, the only thing that’s mattered is our chemistry on the ice and how we play against the opposing team.
My personality off the ice hasn’t factored into the game.
Until now.
The Boston Titans are a tightly knit team, and they don’t like me amidst them.
They were my opponents for so long and I’m good at remembering my opponents’ weaknesses and exploiting them. Suffice it to say, the Titans are not huge Roman Maddox fans and things haven’t changed in the eight months I’ve been playing with them.
When my agent told me I was being traded to the Titans, my first visceral reaction was to say no. I didn’t want to play for the same team my father built his career with and be compared to him the whole time I’m here. I get enough of that when I’m playing for other teams.
There’s only one reason I said yes.
And she’s sitting behind the boards, keeping one eye on the score and one eye on the game. Just like I am, sitting with the rest of the team while the game plays out in front of me. My leg jiggles as I map out the plays and think how I can do them better or assist in a different way.
Here’s the thing.
I haven’t had much play time since I signed on to the Titans, all thanks to their new coach Silas Cross. Cross was a hockey player himself, a damn good one; winner of the Ted Lindsay award, an All-Star player for each season he played, Rookie of the Year his first year.
He was a Titan for most of his career, and when he retired five years ago, he disappeared off the face of the Earth, until he resurfaced recently as the Titans coach.
He’s been keeping me on the bench after my first couple of games with the team because I didn’t like his plays, and I went against them. And because I nearly got into a fight with the referee for a bad call.
I’m a ‘liability’ on the ice and I’m only getting enough game time to not violate my contract. What the fuck did they expect when they hired a player who was nicknamed The Brutalizer in his rookie year? I hate the nickname, yet I can’t help living up to it.
“Maddox, you’re going in!”
I snap my eyes to Cross, surprised he’s sending me in. But I don’t question him because I’m antsy sitting on the bench and I need to play.
“Don’t fuck this up, Maddox, or I swear you’re going to spend the rest of the season on the bench.”
I smirk under my helmet because we both know he can’t keep me on the bench.
“You can’t control what happens on the ice, coach,” I call back when I’m on the ice.
I’m a team player, okay. I never said I’m not. When I’m on the ice, all I want to do is win and I don’t care which of my teammates scores. I’m chasing a win, not glory, and whatever I can do to ruin my father’s legacy, I’ll do it.
So, the collective defense of my team against me is a little too much. It’s like they see me as the opponent instead of the Knights. And coach tells me to play nice.
No one passes me the puck from the Titans, but I manage to get it from the Knights and pass it to Drew. I try not to think about Lavinia watching us, though I am all too aware where she is in the crowd. Her copper hair is unmistakable and stands out against her black outfit.
Don’t think about her, Maddox. Focus on the game.
I steal the puck from the Knights right wing and I’m down the ice, keeping my eyes on the goal.
The defense is on me and there’s no one around to pass the puck to, so I make a crazy decision and shoot the puck.
I swear the audience holds its breath as the Knights goalie tries to stop the puck and it slips past him.
The roar of the crowd is deafening. The goal puts us at 2-0.
I don’t look in Vin’s direction because I really don’t want to know what she’s thinking.
I spend the next hour in interviews and end up snapping at a reporter for asking the same damn question that the three before him have asked. I’m sure the team’s publicist will love that. I can imagine myself sitting in Ethel’s office as she berates me for being the idiot who makes her job harder.
I shower, change, and exit the dressing room before the other guys. They’re making plans to go out and celebrate their victory. And it is their victory because I’m not sure they consider me a part of this team.
I’m exiting the tunnel into the family room when I see Lavinia standing off to the corner, talking to Coach Cross. Something he says makes her laugh, her whole face lighting up, and jealousy burns through me.
First, some man her parents set her up with, and now Coach. There’s no limit to how many men want this woman. Why will she want me?
It’s like she can sense my thoughts because her eyes drift to me over Coach’s shoulder.
She blinks slowly, her head tilting as if asking me a question, before she looks away.
Coach sees someone else and pats Lavinia’s arm before walking away.
How can I be civil with this man now knowing he’s trying to steal Lavinia?
Leave it alone. Don’t fucking go up to her.
My feet are moving of their own volition, and I find myself standing in front of her.
Lavinia looks up from her phone, raising an eyebrow in expectation.
I take her in, from the curliness of her hair to the brightness of her green eyes, to the way her black top hugs her body, the way her black jeans mold to her thighs.
I groan internally. Fuck, fuck. This is a mistake. I should walk away right now.
“Hey.” Shoot me now.
Lavinia blinks, then looks over her shoulders. Then points a finger at herself in question and lets out the fakest sounding giggle I have ever heard in my life.
“Oh my god,” she squeals. “Roman Maddox is talking to me. Me! Omigod, omigod! I’m freaking out right now. Too bad I’m wearing pants, there goes my dream of throwing my underwear at you.”
“That’s so funny because my dream is also to have you throw your underwear at me.”
The fake smile drops from Lavinia’s face. “Dream on, pretty boy.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
“I don’t think of you at all.”
Ouch. Now that would have hurt if I believed it to be true.
I have messages going back half a year which tell me she does think about me.
I deserve her anger because in all that time, I haven’t once attempted to talk to her in person.
I haven’t quite figured out how to be near her and not be a total simp.
“I think about you all the time,” I say, my voice low.
Lavinia swallows, a beautiful blush spreading across her cheeks. “I’m not impressed. Get a hobby,” she bites back.
“I can think of a few hobbies, but they usually involve two people.” I keep my eyes on her because I don’t want to be a creep and let them trail over her body like I want.
“I have a boyfriend,” she says.
Jealousy and anger twist inside me. Jealousy over another man touching her. Anger at myself for letting her get away again. Maybe this is the universe’s way of reminding me that I don’t deserve her.
“Do you?” It takes everything to keep my voice even and controlled.
Lavinia shrugs lightly, looking almost bored. “Maybe. He’s definitely interested. I think I’m going to accept.”
“Are you?” I ask through clenched teeth.
“Yeah, I’m kind of tired of athletes and men in sports. I’m branching out to someone who actually wants me.” She takes a step to the side, her eyes shifting behind me, and I see Drew walking out of the tunnel. He’s looking down at his phone and he hasn’t seen us yet.
“Vin–” Her eyes snap back to mine. “We don’t need to play these games.”
Lavinia’s eyes move over my body in a slow perusal. I feel the heat of her gaze everywhere. I’ve often wondered why I’m so obsessed with this woman. I never give myself the chance to answer that question because I don’t want to look at it that closely.
“Who’s playing games?” She takes a step back. “I should go now before Drew looks up from his phone and sees us talking.”
“Afraid of your brother?” Drew is as much of a golden boy as Josh is, which means I don’t trust him at all. What the hell is he hiding behind that perfect facade?
Lavinia’s eyes flick to her brother. “More like afraid of what he’s going to do to you.”
“Vin, are you being bad by talking to the guy your brother doesn’t approve of?” I smirk, stepping closer to her again. It’s like a gravitational pull I can’t resist. Her skin is pale enough to be translucent and I can see the pulse beating in her neck.
I run my thumb along her pulse point and Lavinia’s mouth parts on a gasp. “Look at the way your heart is racing. Is it fear or something else?”
I’m close enough I smell the cherry blossom scent clinging to her. Close enough I see the faint freckles across her skin and the flecks of gold in her eyes. Laughter behind me has her looking over my shoulder again.
“I really have to go,” she whispers.
“Then, go.” I lower my hand and step away from her, giving her plenty of space. She looks at me for a moment, her mouth opening. Then she shakes her head and hurries away towards her brother.
I look over my shoulder in time to see her hug Ford Everett, one of the d-men. It takes everything in me not to walk over there and pull his arms away from Lavinia.
Pulling out my phone, I ignore all the messages I have received and open my chat with Lavinia. A notification pops up at the top from a woman whose name is vaguely familiar. I don’t even read her invitation before I ignore it.
My past is littered with one-off sexual encounters, which is how I preferred my relationships until Lavinia walked back into my life two years ago. Since then, it’s been a love story between me and my hand.
Even when she was engaged to Josh and fucking about to marry him, I couldn’t be with anyone else. Any time I tried, the only thing I saw was green eyes and red hair, soft smiles and a confident gaze.
I don’t think she’s even realized that I wasn’t invited to her wedding.
Roman
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Vin.
Across the room, Lavinia reaches for her phone in her pocket and reads my message. Her eyes shoot up to mine quickly before dropping down.
Lavinia
I think I crossed that line by being civil to the team.
I smirk.
Roman
You don’t need them when you have me.
Lavinia
Gosh, Roman. I don’t think there’s enough room here for you and your ego.
I laugh out loud and cover it with a cough. When I look at Lavinia, she has a small smile on her face.
Roman
What is your brother going to say when he finds out you’re texting me?
Lavinia
What my brother doesn’t know won’t affect him.
Roman
Lavinia Callahan, is the good girl thing an act?
Lavinia
Guess you’ll have to find out for yourself.
As the team walks past me, Lavinia’s eyes meet mine momentarily, a challenge shining in them. Alright, if that’s how she wants to play it, I’m game.