44. Lavinia #2
“Sometimes days or weeks would go by without anyone talking to each other when my father was home. When he was gone, my mother would be lighter, but she’d spend most of her time in her greenhouse.” His eyes remain closed as he talks, like he’s trying not to show me his pain.
“It’s like it was the only opportunity she had to be truly happy, and she took it. The nannies I had kept me occupied and made sure I didn’t go after her. After a while, I stopped thinking of her and wondering if I did something wrong. When I got older, I stopped caring at all.”
I sniffle and his eyes pop open in shock. I quickly wipe away the tears escaping from my eyes.
“Baby, why are you crying?” Roman wipes my tears, kissing my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks, the tip of my nose, my lips.
“I hate the thought of you being alone and I hate your parents for not caring,” I say, my voice thick with tears.
“You’re wonderful. Kind, caring, thoughtful.
You took in cats because they have nowhere to go.
You leave your door open for your neighbor to come and go as she pleases, and you listen to her gossip and let her teach you Polish.
Your parents are never going to realize how amazing you are and I’m selfishly glad because they don’t deserve you. ”
Roman cups the side of my face, brushing away my tears. “It wasn’t all bad, Blossom. I had you, remember?”
I kiss him, tears streaming down my face so there’s a saltiness to our kiss. I turn and straddle his legs, pushing my hands into his hair. I want him to have me, all of me because he’s always been mine. I might not have known that, but Roman gave himself to me a long time ago.
Roman pushes his hands under my sweater and I pull back long enough for him to pull it over my head. I shiver as the cold air hits my body. Roman’s right there to warm me, pressing hot kisses against my skin.
“I’ll never get over how perfect you are,” he whispers, placing open mouthed kisses along the globes of my breasts.
Roman’s fingers deftly unhook my bra, the straps falling off my shoulders. I remove it completely and toss it away. He lowers and wraps his lips around one nipple, pulling it into the heat of his mouth. I let out a loud moan as liquid heat pools in my belly.
No matter how many times we have sex, I’ll never get over the feeling of his mouth on my body, pleasuring me in ways no one else has ever come close.
Pushing me onto my back, Roman hovers over me.
“Why are you still dressed?” Reaching for the hem of his t-shirt, I tug it over his head until his bare chest is revealed. I splay my hands all over his torso, scraping my teeth over his pecs. “You’re so beautiful.”
Roman grumbles, lowering to kiss and suck on my neck. His weight settles over me as I reach between us and unbutton his jeans, sliding my hands under his boxer briefs to wrap my hand around his hot, heavy length.
Roman groans into my neck, the sound reverberating through my body. With my other hand, I push down my pajamas. Roman shifts down my body, pulling my pajamas clean off and burying his face between my legs, dragging his tongue leisurely over my pussy.
“I used to dream about burying my head between your thighs and it’d get me so fucking hard,” he grumbles, lifting his eyes to look up at me.
“No amount of cold showers were enough to calm the raging need inside me. You have no idea how much effort it takes to not keep you locked up so I can have my way with you as I please.”
He sucks my clit into his mouth, and I cry out, my body twisting to get away from his torturous mouth. Roman grips my hips, keeping me steady.
“Don’t move, baby. I’m eating my dessert.” His tongue circles my clit, drawing figure eights and I have to hold my breath so I don’t shift and move. It doesn’t take long before I’m coming. Roman flicks his tongue over me ceaselessly until I’m screaming his name and falling apart under him.
He pulls back, mouth glistening and arches up to kiss me. He does it every time he makes me come on his tongue and it’s still so filthy. I’m sure he does it on purpose, like he’s making me taste what he’s done to me because I’m his.
Our hands work together to push away his jeans and underwear and then his hard cock is pressed right against my center. Roman hovers over me, hands braced on either side of my head, lights from the movie flickering across his face.
“You ready for me, baby?”
“I’m always ready.” Grabbing the back of his head, I bring him down and kiss him.
“Good,” he whispers on my mouth, “because you’re going to take every single inch of my cock.” He grabs my leg, swinging it over his arm as he makes room for himself between my thighs and then thrusts forward.
“Fuck, Roman!”
He pulls back until he’s all the way out and enters me again, harder this time. “Scream as loud as you want, Blossom. There’s no one here to hear you. I’ll be merciful if you beg, but I’m not feeling benevolent. Each time I watch you take my cock, I want to push harder and harder. Take. It. All.”
The force of his thrusts is shifting my body across the floor. Roman reaches around and grabs a pillow, putting it between my head and the wall. My nails are scraping down his back, leaving my mark on him.
“I love feeling you inside me,” I say, looking into his eyes. “I feel like you’re filling up every part of me.”
Roman bites my lower lip, our harsh sounds filling the room. “You shouldn’t have told me that. You’re never getting free of me now.”
“Oh my god,” I cry as the pace of his thrusts increase. My head hits the pillow and Roman places his hand in between.
“There’s no god here, baby. Just your husband . I promise to worship you even when I treat you like a filthy little slut who just wants to come on my cock. Come for me now, baby. Prove I’m right.”
He grinds his pelvis right over my sensitive clit and my body bows as my pussy clenches hard around him. The rising tide of pleasure inside me finally breaks. I shudder as I come, my mouth open in a silent scream, eyes squeezed tight.
Once I finally return to Earth, I open my eyes, looking up at Roman languidly. “Be a good boy and come for me. Come inside me.”
Roman groans, burying his face against my shoulder as he comes, holding himself inside me. The heat of his release fills me, causing me to clench around him as another mini orgasm wracks through me.
Roman lifts up his head to look at me, chest heaving. “Did you come again when I came inside you?”
My cheeks flushing, I nod. “It’s the hottest thing ever.”
He growls before kissing me. “I’m never going to stop coming inside you.”
When he pulls out, his release leaks out of my body. Using two fingers, he gathers his come and pushes it back inside, making me gasp.
“Since you like it so much, I wouldn’t want it to go to waste,” he says with a smirk.
“Oh my gosh!” I hide my face behind my hands as Roman chuckles.
He uses my panties to wipe me clean before he wraps a blanket around me. Looking thoughtfully at the movie screen, he says, “Before you, I didn’t use the media room at all. Now, we haven’t used it for its intended purpose once.”
I giggle. “While watching the unsexiest movies, as well.”
We clean up and since our blanket fort is ruined, we decide to get in bed. I settle against Roman, my e-reader in my hand as I pull up the latest book we’re reading. This has become a nightly ritual over the last week since I’ve been spending the nights with him.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe and secure in a relationship before. If you’re someone who wants to be in a relationship, you hope the person you end up with accepts all the weird and boring parts of you.
Turning my head, I look at him.
“Something wrong?” His brows dip in a frown.
I think of what Jules said about me falling in love with Roman. I realize I don’t want to hold myself back from it. A part of being in love is being open and vulnerable, isn’t it? Roman was vulnerable with me, and I want to return that vulnerability.
“I’ve never had this kind of safety and security in a relationship before,” I tell him.
“I always used to feel like I wasn’t enough and that I needed to do more, like I was failing as a girlfriend because hockey occupied so much of my mind.
” I pause to swallow. “I think Josh was happy when I couldn’t play because it meant I could spend more time paying attention to him. ”
Roman cups my face in his hand, so I have no choice other than looking into his eyes.
“You are enough. I’ll handle every part of you, no matter what you want to do or who you want to be.
I want nothing more than your happiness, baby.
I know I get jealous, but I’ll never ask you to choose me above everything else.
Being with you is more than I’ve ever hoped for and I’m going to make sure you always feel safe in this relationship. ”
I swallow back my tears. “You don’t have regrets?”
Roman laughs bitterly. “You say that like I ever had a choice.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never had a choice in how I felt about you, Lavinia. From the moment I was old enough to form memories, my mind’s been filled with you.
Your eyes, your scent, your smile. If I couldn’t have you, I thought I should ignore you and that’ll dull the ache, but then you waltz back into my life and I remembered that everyone else pales in comparison.
There was never going to be anyone else for me. ”
I swallow, willing my tears back. “I saw you with a woman in a hotel lobby when I was with Josh.”
I don’t know why I say it, almost like I’m afraid to accept how much he wants me.
“If you saw me with a woman, it must have been Elena. She came to visit me occasionally.”
Roman rests his forehead against mine, so much pain and vulnerability in his eyes I’m afraid to look away and at the same time, I want to close my eyes.
“There’s never been anyone else, Lavinia.
I have no regrets about anything because you don’t regret the sun’s warmth, the way the world quiets down when it snows, the way the first rain always brings with it the scent of earth.
You don’t regret the most beautiful things in your life, no matter how long it takes you to find them.
If I had to do it all over again, I’d choose the same path because it led me to you. ”
As I stare at him, I realize that Kai was right all those months ago.
I fell in love with Roman in the quiet moments.
There was no sudden lightning storm through my veins, no feeling of ecstasy, just a steady certainty blooming in my chest. I’m in love with Roman Maddox.
A thought which is astonishing and inevitable.