54. Roman #2
Instead of leaving, he leans against the door frame. “I love messy family drama. Makes me feel at home.”
From the look in his eyes, it's like he's daring my father to react. Maybe Ford has a father like mine because he seems to understand that Asher Maddox isn’t going to react in front of an audience.
My father straightens, pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe away the blood. Leaning towards me he hisses. “You wear my name on your back. You represent me when you skate out onto that ice. You do what I say.”
See, that's the thing about people like him and Josh. Even when you knock them down, they come right back up. They're a little like cockroaches. You get rid of one and another one pops up and somehow, it’s even harder to kill.
“I have a meeting with Coach. Keep in mind what I said.”
Ford claps me on the back as I walk to Coach’s office. He's behind the desk, reviewing old game footage. Every hockey player has a ritual they do before the game. For Silas Cross it's always been reviewing old footage. And it's not footage from last week's game or last month’s game.
He's reviewing footage from games that happened ten or twenty years ago. It's like Lavinia with her supernatural conspiracy theories that she watches on social media. It calms her down. Just like watching years old footage calms Coach down.
“Maddox, sit down,” he says, when I enter his office
I cut straight to the point. “Did you only trade me here because my father asked for it? Is that why you've been constantly hounding me from day one to straighten my act and meet my potential?
“I figured there was something wrong with that when after ten years of this career a coach decided to take so much interest in what I do off the ice. The only thing they've ever cared about is my ability to score a goal.”
With a sigh, he picks up a crumbled piece of paper on his desk and rolls it into a ball in his fist. “Don’t make me throw this at your face.
You’re more dramatic than my daughters and they’re nine and four.
I don't give a fuck what conversation your father had with the GM.
You're here because I wanted you here for this team.
And the only reason I've been hounding you to make friends with the guys is for your own benefit.”
I don't want to believe him, but what choice do I have. From all accounts, Silas Cross is a good man. He's the kind of man people look up to because he always does the right thing.
“If you're about to trade me, I quit,” I say. “I'm not about to leave Lavinia, and I'm not about to ask her to move.”
“Who said anything about trading you?” He raises his eyebrows. “I'm trying to figure out why we can't get in touch with your agent to extend your contract.”
That is exactly what I wanted all those months ago when I asked Lavinia to stay married. Now that it's actually happening, I'm not sure if I should believe it. It almost feels a little too easy, a little too right.
The woman I’ve been obsessed with my whole life is in love with me and she's married to me, and I get to stay here, and I have friends on the team? I feel like I'm about to wake up from a dream any second now.
Then again, I did see my father outside and there's no way he’d be in my dream.
“I fired my agent,” I say. “He was cheating on me with my father.”
“Well, get yourself a new agent. The GM wants your contract reviewed.”
“Yeah, because my father asked him for it.”
Coach leans back in his chair, brown eyes assessing me. “Do you know why I wanted you for the team, Maddox?”
I shake my head. “Because you like chaos?”
He doesn't take the bait. “I wanted you because you're a good player.
Not just a good player, one of the best I've ever seen.
Do you think you've come this far because of the name on your back? Do you think hockey fans put up with you because you’re a Maddox?
They know when you get on the ice you're going to score. When I saw you play for the first time, I knew you were going far.”
Someone having faith in me is the worst fucking feeling.
It's bad enough having Lavinia’s faith and knowing I can't let her down.
I can almost convince myself that she's someone who has faith in everyone despite seeing everyone's flaws.
She loves me so she might even feel obligated that she has to have faith in me.
I know it's not the truth, but it makes it easier to think it is.
Now Coach is telling me he has faith in me as well? What the hell am I supposed to do with that?
I narrow my eyes at him. “Are you only telling me this tonight because you're afraid of what's going to happen on the ice?”
He looks me straight in the eyes and says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re only playing a little hockey.”
I’m starting to see why Lavinia likes him so much.
On my way out of his office I pull up my phone and text Lavinia.
Roman
I think Coach has a crush on me. Also, I punched my father and broke his nose.
Lavinia
Wow! so much information all at once. I’m not sure which one to react to.
Roman
Obviously the most pressing information is that Coach has a crush on me.
Lavinia
Why did you punch your father?
Leave it to her to focus on the wrong thing.
Roman
He was talking shit about my wife. No one talks shit about my wife and gets away with that.
Lavinia doesn’t reply. Probably realizing what’s going to happen on the ice tonight. For someone planning bloody murder, I’m strangely calm.
“You’re not going to kill Josh in front of 20,000 people.” I look up from my phone and see Drew standing in front of me with his arms crossed and a hard look in his face.
“It’s almost a little too creepy that Lavinia is probably thinking the same thing right now because of the text I sent her,” I say. “Did she text you?”
“No, my sister hasn’t texted. I’m talking to you as your team captain and also as your brother-in-law, unfortunately.”
I grin because I know it’s going to annoy him. “Drew, I think this is the first time you ever referred to me as your brother-in-law. Are you starting to accept me into the family?
“Don’t be an ass, Maddox. My twin sister is married to you. It’s not like I have a choice.”
“We don’t have to kill him entirely,” Reese says.
“We can kill him a little,” Holden adds.
“Don’t listen to the evil twins,” Drew commands. “Think of your wife.”
“Pretty sure he broke his father’s nose for talking shit about his wife,” Ford says. “Josh is going to get pummeled into that ice tonight.”
“Guys, let’s not encourage toxic aggressive behavior,” Kai says, ever the peacekeeper. “We each get a punch in, that’s it.”
Reese snickers at that and Kai shoves at his shoulder.
“We’re not going into this game thinking we’re MMA fighters,” Drew says.
“But we are hockey players and hockey can be aggressive, so if Josh gets elbowed in the face that’s really his fault for being too close to my elbow,” I point out. “You guys don’t have to do anything and risk getting a fine or suspension for me.”
“You’re a part of the HoBros,” Holden says. “This team is a family, and we do anything for family.”
I was surprised they all demanded to go with me after Sage told us about the podcast. Truthfully, it doesn’t concern them, and it doesn’t have to.
But that’s the thing about Titans I’ve never understood.
They’re a family even more than they are a team.
As someone who’s never had a proper family, I’m not sure how to feel about that.
“If we’re a family, who’re the dads?” I ask, not wanting to focus on the emotions. I punched my real father, so family is a touchy subject right now.
“Drew and Ford,” Reese says, like it should be obvious.
“I refuse to be married to Drew,” Ford says. He’s got his headphones in his hands and he’s preparing for his pregame ritual of shutting everything out.
“I’m not dying to be married to you either,” Drew gripes.
“All jokes aside,” Kai says, “aggression is never the answer. You want to be better than your oppressor, not stoop down to their level. No matter what Josh or anyone says, it’s not going to change who Lavinia is. Fighting with him is only going to add more fuel to the fire.”
I look at the other guys and see the realization on their faces that Kai’s probably right.
Fighting with Josh is only going to give the thing more airtime.
Once it’s on the Internet, it’s going to stay there forever and the one thing I don’t want is anything I do to be held against Lavinia.
Josh has already planted a kernel of doubt in everyone’s mind that because Lavinia is married to me, it somehow proves that she’s not good.
“I think I liked it better when I didn’t have friends talking me out of my bad decisions,” I mumble quietly.
“Yeah, how difficult it must be having people actually care about you,” Kai says.
“You joke, but it actually is difficult. This is all very new for me.” The fact that I admitted this makes me realize I’m too far gone. There’s no going back to a time when I was by myself. “This might sound weird, but I really appreciate you guys. As someone who’s never had any friends before.”
“What about Drew?” Ford asks.
I shake my head sadly at my brother-in-law. “Hated me since we were kids.”
Reese walks over, throwing his arms over mine and Drew’s shoulders. “And now look at you, brothers as the universe intended.”
“Please stop calling him my brother,” Drew says. “You’re going to make me throw up and I haven’t thrown up before a game since my rookie season.”
My phone dings and I pull it out. It shows a notification that Lavinia has posted. The guys also have their phones out and we all exchange looks. They huddle around me as I open the app and go to her account to see the video.
As soon as I do, I laugh, pride bursting through me.
“See, I told you, you didn’t need to kill Josh,” Drew says, pride coloring his voice. “We’re Callahan’s, and Callahan’s don’t lose to shitheads.”
“I had no idea Lavinia was this petty,” Reese says, enjoying it thoroughly.
“She’s competitive. You’ve never played a board game with her, have you? You’ve never argued with her and realized that she always needs to have the last word?” It’s one of the things I love about her. She’s so fierce and passionate. An absolute killer.
Josh had his moment of glory, and I hope he enjoyed those two days because he’s about to be eviscerated in the court of public opinion.
I turn to my locker where my jersey is hanging up and I pause when I see Maddox right across the back of it.
The sad fact of the matter is we live in a patriarchal society and unfortunately, I did end up with my father’s name.
I can be a one name wonder, but as I open my bag, something inside it catches my eye.
I can’t kill Josh. That doesn’t mean I can’t do everything in my power to support my wife.