55. Lavinia
FIFTY-FIVE
LAVINIA
I do the thing that every PR company recommends you should never do. I make a fucking video, and I upload it to my account. I don’t say anything because no words are ever going to be enough to describe what I’m feeling.
So, I let the music do the talking. In the video, I post my stats compared to Josh’s stats and our career trajectory to Sabrina Carpenter’s Manchild.
I cried the day the podcast was released.
Yesterday I wallowed in my misery, eating an entire cheesecake all by myself.
Today, it’s time for action because there’s no way in hell I’m going to wait for a PR company to come in and tell me what to do and what not to do.
I’m definitely not going to wait for my husband and my friends to come to my rescue.
A post isn’t going to do much damage. But it’s the perfect reply I could think of because why do I need to say anything with words when my stats say everything. When they show the world that Josh is nothing but a man child who’s upset he lost.
Before I even leave for the game, the post has thousands of likes, shares, and comments. As I sit in the arena, I can feel everyone’s stares burning into my back.
“How much do you know about hockey?” Elena asks from beside me.
I turn, throwing her a look. Did she ask me how much I know about hockey?
“Almost nothing,” I say. “The Olympic medals were a fluke.”
“The system is rigged,” Jules agrees.
“Okay, I realize it might have been a bit of a stupid question,” Elena says. “Of course, you know hockey, you’re a hockey player. Will you teach me, is what I meant to ask?”
“Teach you how to play?”
“Yeah, I’ve never played hockey before and what else do I have to do with my time?” She shrugs casually, eyes trained on the rink in front of us. There’s still fifteen minutes before the game starts and people are still wandering in, looking for their seats.
“You literally have like four jobs,” I point out.
“But I haven’t found the one job,” Elena says.
“I tried working in an office once, and it brought me to tears,” Jules says.
I shift in my seat uncomfortably as a couple sitting in front of us turns to glance over their shoulder. When they see me looking, their faces turn red, and they quickly turn back around.
I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I turn around to look at a middle-aged man behind me. I prepare myself for whatever toxicity he’s about to spew at me. Jules grabs my hand, turning to glare at him. On my other side, Elena does the same.
“I’m so sorry to bother you. Would you mind signing this jersey? My daughter is a huge fan, but she’s too shy to come over.”
My whole body sags with relief. He points two rows up where a little girl is sitting next to a woman. Smiling, I wave at her, and she gives me the shyest wave back.
“Do you have a pen?” I ask.
“Thank you so much,” he says, handing me my old New York jersey and a marker. “I should mention my wife and I are huge fans as well. We saw you play in New York a few times.”
I sign the jersey and return it to him. “Thank you, I really appreciate that.”
He goes back to his seat and puts the jersey on his daughter. It swallows her whole, but she’s so happy. If nothing else goes right tonight, I don’t really care. This is literally the best thing that could’ve happened to me.
“I’m starting to believe that Roman is right, and people don’t really care about bad reputations,” I say to the girls.
“If you’re in the public eye, the more notorious you are the more press you get,” Jules says. “You, my dear friend, have spent years building a community. Brick houses aren’t knocked down by a little gust of wind.”
A glow fills me, and I hook my arm through hers, resting my head on her shoulder. She’s always been my ride or die, no matter what. If I killed someone, she wouldn’t even ask why. Just pick a shovel and help me dig a hole.
“Aw, you two are so cute,” Elena gushes.
The tension in the crowd ripples as the Falcons skate onto the ice.
My eyes find Josh’s jersey number immediately as the crowd goes wild around us.
I stiffen, feeling so much hatred it actually leaves me a little breathless.
I can’t believe I was going to marry that man, that I fell for his lies and so easily.
This is the cruel side of love. You lose yourself for someone who never thought you’re worth the effort.
The Titans skate out next and if I thought I was breathless before, I’m dying as Roman skates out.
“Oh my god,” Jules breathes.
Roman’s wearing my jersey from when I played with the New York Valkyries.
Around us, the crowd is clapping and cheering louder than they did even for the Falcons. Roman turns and finds me in the crowd. His mouth turns up into a gorgeous smile and he winks at me.
With a simple move, Roman’s changed the narrative.
I could’ve lived with a bad reputation. I could’ve even lived with people questioning if everything Josh said is true. The fact that Roman took such a big step on this stage proves to me that I chose the right person to spend the rest of my life with. Drunk me knew what she was doing.
“I had no idea my cousin had this much game,” Elena says.
I laugh and turn to her. “Let me introduce you to the Maniacs.” I wave at the women sitting on the other side of the arena. A few of them even wave back.
Not everyone’s happy with Roman wearing my jersey. As I wave at the Maniacs, a face in the crowd catches my eye. He’s like an older version of Roman, though the harsh lines of his face are nothing like his son’s.
In many ways, Roman’s as soft on the outside as he is on the inside.
He’s always quick with a smile and his eyes are always sparkling with mischief.
Mr. Maddox, on the other hand, looks like a ghost in the crowd.
An angry, vengeful ghost. There’s a bruise across his nose that suggests it was broken recently.
“Someone’s not very happy,” Jules says, her eyes following mine.
I can’t tell if Mr. Maddox is angry that Boston loves Roman or whether Roman loves me.
“That man is never happy,” Elena says. “The few times we went over to their house for Christmas dinner, he spent the whole time picking everything and everyone apart. He’d always tell Roman that he would never make it to the NHL.”
Roman told me that. How his dad would force him to practice until he couldn’t walk anymore, let alone skate. Only for his father to later say that Roman was never going to make it if he didn’t practice.
I can’t help comparing it to my own upbringing. Dad loved that Drew and I played hockey, but he always left the choice to us. He would have been as happy if I’d gone into business or academia or anything else.
It goes to show how resilient people are because despite being raised by a man who never loved him, Roman’s full of love and kindness. He’s the brightest star in the sky. And I hate the man who made him believe that his light was never going to be enough.
“Hey, sorry I’m late. Everything okay?” Sage plops down in the seat next to Jules.
“Late? Girl, you’re out there doing your job and making the Titans look good. I’m sure that isn’t easy,” Jules says.
Sage laughs, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Honestly, making these guys look good isn’t a hardship. You’re never going to believe who’s trending right now.”
“Please don’t say it’s me. I can’t take it anymore,” I cry, dropping my forehead onto Jules’s shoulder.
“Oh, it’s definitely you, and it’s all the other women who stitched your video with their Josh incidents,” Sage says, voice tinged with excitement.
“Are you serious?” I straighten and grab my phone, which is on do not disturb, and realize that it’s now frozen because of the number of notifications on it.
I have to restart it before the notifications pop up again.
“Did you forget you’re famous?” Elena asks.
“Apparently,” I murmur. I open the first notification and see a woman doing a reaction video to my original video that I’d posted.
She sings along to the song, dancing happily, and when the song stops, she says she dated Josh in college, and he was a petty ass bastard the whole time they were together. Whenever they did anything, and she came out on top he sulked for days.
He manipulated her to the point where she thought she was in the wrong for getting better grades than him and scoring better than him at her games—she played soccer. Other videos are similar. Some share stories about Josh, but others mostly offer their support.
“What a massive asshole,” Elena says.
“Everything I learn about this man makes me question my own decision making skills,” I say.
“That's what he wants,” Sage points out. “He wants you to think the mistake is yours when he's a really good manipulator.”
“We never realized there was anything wrong with him,” Jules says. “He had us all convinced that he was the best guy.”
She's not wrong. My entire family and I were convinced Josh's exactly the good boy he projects himself to be. Whereas Roman, who’s spent his whole life being the bad boy, is so nice. I can't imagine Josh ever wearing my jersey to play a game, not even to piss anyone off.
Before the game starts, I see the Titans huddle around each other. They do their normal pregame rituals, and I’m happy to see Roman is included this time. They bump their helmets against Kai's as they go take their positions, my brother in a face off against Josh.
The game hasn't even started yet, and the tension is palpable. As the puck drops, I clutch Jules’s hand.
Both teams have something to prove tonight, and you can see it from the start.
Drew steals the puck from Josh but it's not an easy victory.
Josh has something to prove tonight and it's that he's the better player on the ice.
Halfway through the first period Josh tries to start a fight with Roman. Roman has the puck, Josh comes up from behind and shoves him. Roman spins around, ready to fight back until Drew shows up and pulls him away as the ref whistles.