Reckless

Chapter 30

The queues have been insane, never-ending, but I’m happy. I don’t give a damn my hand is cramping, and my voice is going hoarse from talking to so many people. I love this. It’s beyond my wildest dreams that people even want to come and talk to me, never mind stand and chat, laughing and joking with the other fans waiting in line.

Friends are being made here, and it’s beautiful to see.

Emily has kept things organized the whole time, making sure I’m happy, that the fans aren’t taking too long, but not interrupting too much. She’s adept at dealing with things like this and is personable and chatty. People love her instantly.

This event is so well run. I’m not concerned in the slightest about things going wrong. There are more people than last year. It can only be a good thing. More people reading always makes my heart sing.

The people in line are gracious enough to wait while I run to the bathroom. It’s right out of the hall we’re in and down past the reception desk, which is inconvenient, but I’m desperate, having drank so much water. I hurry along without paying attention to anyone or anything.

While I’m in the cubicle, the main door opens and closes. I’m slightly perturbed when the person enters the cubicle right next to me. There are a lot of empty stalls. I would never do that, but maybe that is just me being weird.

When I’m done, I come out and head to the sinks to wash my hands, eyeing the closed door. I’m not sure why it’s making me feel uneasy.

I roll my eyes at myself and start thinking about this afternoon’s panel. I’m looking forward to sharing the stage with some amazing authors I’ve admired for a long time. I’m nervous they’re going to grill me about my change from traditional to indie publishing, but I was happy with my choice at the time, and still am now.

The cubicle door starts to open behind me, and I lift my eyes to the mirror to see who it is. But before they step out, the door to the bathroom bangs open and four women come in, all chattering excitedly. One of them does a double take as her friend rushes into the bathroom, shouting out about not making it if she doesn’t get in there right now .

The others are laughing.

“Oh my God, Krista Benke!” The woman grins at me. “I love your books.”

I’m not scared. Like I told Jude, meeting people who love my work is always a pleasure. And here, where there are tons of readers, is the best place to meet them. While her other friends pee, she stands and talks to me. She apologizes for asking and jumping the queue, in a manner of speaking, but I’m more than happy to sign a copy of my book she is carrying.

When I leave the bathroom with them, I don't even notice the person in the cubicle beside mine never came out.

I hurry to get back to the table, taking pictures and signing books. Emily comes over to let the people still waiting know I have to leave for a panel, which breaks my heart, but she gives out tickets so they can come straight back without getting into the line, when I finish.

“You think of everything.” I squeeze her hand. “Thank you.”

“You need to go to Meeting Hall B,” she takes out a map, making me love her even more. “Here,” she hands me another bottle of water and my phone.

It’s been under the table the whole time I’ve been here. I haven’t had time to check it. I wave to Bri as I pass her table on the way out, checking my phone to make sure I’m not running too late. There are six missed calls from Jude.

That’s weird. Why is he calling?

I follow the small crowd of people walking out of the hall, moving on to their next area, or taking a break for lunch. I pause and look down at the map. It’s just a turn away. I have time to call Jude.

As I look up, I see a familiar face in the crowd and frown. My first thought is, what a coincidence. Over the last few weeks, I’ve seen this woman twice. It’s so odd. She was happily telling Jude my books aren’t that great, and she’s read better, if I recall.

Still, I give her a slight smile as I turn away. Feeling weird about it, I turn back, but she isn’t there anymore. A shiver runs down my spine, but I shake it off and carry on moving. As I round the next corner, I spot her again. She is standing further down the hall.

Staring right at me, and she doesn’t look at all happy about seeing me.

What the hell?

Someone grabs my arm and I’m pulled back around the corner. I almost scream but when I turn, its Riggs. I’m stunned to silence for about five seconds, but he puts his body between me and the corner.

“Riggs? What are you doing here?” I finally find my voice.

“Stay behind me.”

He sounds so serious. I’ve never heard him talk like this. Luther is the intense one. He moves out and looks around the corner, cursing.

“You need to come with me.”

“What? Why? Riggs, I need to be at a panel in five minutes. I don’t want to be late.”

“You’ll have to skip it,” he puts a hand on my lower back and starts ushering me away.

I dig my feet in and turn back to him. “Wait a minute. I’m not just going to walk away. People are expecting me. Why are you here?” I demand.

My mind goes back to the woman. To the way she was looking at me. Like she hates me. The times I saw her fire through my memory. How much she tried to convince Jude I’m not a good writer. She didn’t speak to me, she glared.

Then at the caves, she was red faced. I thought it was about hiking and tiring herself out, but…

Fear ripples down my spine. “Who is she?” I ask Riggs as we move away from the meeting room.

I’m too distracted to worry about where I need to be right now. Jude has been calling me way too many times to be normal. I stop walking again and Riggs nearly piles into me, but I cross my arms and stare up at him, making it clear I’m not going anywhere till he tells me the truth.

He glances around, then huffs out a breath and turns back to me.

“She’s been stalking Jude for the past few months, her behavior has escalated more recently to the point where we're worried. We only just found out who she is, but didn’t know she’d contacted Jude until he recognized her picture when Luther told him what was going on.”

It takes my mind a moment to wrap around that. A stalker. Did she want to hurt Jude?

Jesus, she wants to hurt me . It explains why Luther was following us the whole time, and why Riggs stayed in Chicago.

“Did Jude know about this before?”

“Not until about three hours ago,” he admits.

“Is she dangerous?” I ask, more quietly this time.

“We don’t know. Until now, she has done nothing other than make comments online, sent a few letters and photographs.”

"Comments… You mean threats?" They couldn't classify her as a stalker if she was just making random comments. Threats are a different matter.

Riggs nods.

Oh God, I feel sick. This woman has been following us round for weeks. And they didn’t know. My mind races to the RV door being open yesterday, to the random person in the bathroom earlier.

Rage consumes me. It’s not an emotion I was expecting, but I’m so fucking angry. Who the hell does this woman think she is? Why does she think she has the right to do these things, to Jude, or me?

Riggs is staring at me, surprise registering on his face as he takes in my expression.

“I am not letting her ruin this for me, or the fans who have come to see me.”

“Krista, she almost made contact we need-”

“I need to go to my panel. She doesn’t scare me, she doesn’t get to intimidate me.”

“I admire your guts, but we don’t know what she is planning.”

“Then let’s go to the panel and find out, shall we?”

He splutters over what to say. Before he can stop me, I march around him and head back to the room I’m supposed to be in. Riggs curses behind me but hurries to catch up. My eyes are everywhere trying to spot her, but there is no sign of her now. Maybe seeing Riggs spooked her, and she left.

“Will the police deal with her?” I ask Riggs. I already know the answer. She hasn’t done anything. The police have no cause to arrest her.

He says as much. “Do me a favor, Krista. Don't go anywhere without me. Jude will break my neck if I let anything happen to you. He already punched Luther in the face.”

"Seriously?"

Riggs says that with a certain amount of awe, like no one has ever gotten the best of Luther. I can well believe it.

“Let me take you back to your room after this thing.”

“And let down all these people who came to see me. Not a chance.”

He chooses not to argue. We head into the meeting room, and I’m greeted by one of the organizers and taken to a seat up front from where I will be introduced. The woman eyes Riggs, but I just smile. There is no point in arguing. He’s not leaving my side.

Begrudgingly, I admit I’m glad he’s here, because as I sit there, then head up to the stage and join everyone else, my eyes are all over the place looking for her. It’s only then I realize I didn’t call Jude back.

As the panel goes on, I relax. The doors have been closed so no one else can be admitted. Riggs is standing by the far wall watching everyone. I’ve noticed a few women staring over at him. He’s a good-looking guy, and he’s all tense and alert. His muscles are practically bulging out.

The panel is a raging success, even though I missed some of it as I was focusing on my surroundings. I answered all the questions put to me by the facilitator, and the audience and my guard goes down as we finish.

Riggs takes me back to the hall and my table. There are a few people milling around. The ticketing system Emily put in place is working. There is no sign of her yet, so I figure she’s gone to the bathroom or is grabbing lunch. Riggs takes up a spot behind me, standing by the bookcases.

I explain him away as a prop, which gets a giggle out of the women within earshot and an eye roll from Riggs. My phone rings when I’m back into the swing of things. It’s Jude.

I apologize and tell the woman waiting I’ll just be two seconds as I step away to take the call.

“Krista, thank fuck, why aren’t you answering your phone?” Jude sounds frantic.

“Calm down. Riggs is here. He hasn’t left my side for the last two hours.”

“Did he tell you what is going on?”

“He did. And I’m fine.” I choose not to tell him we’ve sighted the stalker. I’m hoping she got scared enough to leave. “Where are you?”

“Just leaving O’Hare.”

“You’re in Chicago?”

“Did you think I’d leave you after I found out what was going on?”

“Jude, you’re putting yourself at risk. You can’t come here. You’ll be recognized.”

“Too late. I’m on my way. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Jude. Please don’t rush here like a knight in shining armor. It’ll be embarrassing.”

A surprised laugh bursts out of him before he turns serious again. “I can’t not be there.”

“Okay, but just don’t come into the main hall. Riggs can coordinate with Luther, or whatever the hell it is they do, keep yourself safe.”

“Fuck… I love you Krista.”

“If that is true, you’ll listen to me.”

“You drive me crazy.”

“Jude.”

“Fine,” he relents. “I’m gonna call Riggs. Be careful.”

“I will. I guess I’ll see you later.”

He grumbles some before saying goodbye. I’m not convinced he’s going to listen. Riggs' phone rings behind me. He can deal with it.

I hurry back to the table and apologize. The queue is long and people seem happy, but there is no sign of Emily. That isn’t normal.

I fire off a quick text to ask where she is. Then I watch the screen compulsively every few minutes for the next fifteen, but nothing comes back. The unease returns. I look back at Riggs. He finished his call with Jude a while ago. His body straightens as he looks at me. He can tell something is wrong.

It’s probably nothing. I stand up and search the room. I’m not sure if I’m looking for the crazy woman or Emily more. The people in the line are looking at me now. Riggs comes over and leans in close.

“What’s wrong?”

“My assistant. Emily. She should be here. She isn’t answering my texts.”

His jaw clenches again.

“She wouldn’t know Emily. She has no reason to…”

I can’t even say it. But as I think it, I realize I’m wrong. If she’s been watching me, she’s seen Emily. Surely she isn’t in any danger.

“Riggs,” I turn to him. Finally, the fear takes hold of me.

He’s torn about leaving to find her. I make a snap decision. My friend’s safety means more to me than signing some books. I apologize profusely to the people in the queue and call over a volunteer. I don’t even recall what I say, something about an emergency, then I’m running out of the hall with Riggs right behind me.

As we get to the lobby, three police officers walk in and hurry to the reception. There is a woman with them, waving her hands as the hotel staff tries to calm her down.

“Riggs,” I breathe out in fear.

“Stay close, okay,” he walks over to the nearest cop. I can’t hear what he is saying, but the cop doesn’t look as if he wants to talk to him. Instead of listening to them, I head over to the frantic woman.

“What happened?” I ask.

“A woman got attacked upstairs. I heard screaming and my husband went out to find out what was going on. She was trying to get out of the room. There was another woman there too. My husband is an ex-marine, so he has her in the room, but we need the police and EMTs.”

“Is she hurt? What floor?”

“Ma'am, step back please," A policeman appears, holding his hand out to me.

I ignore him. “What floor? Please?” I want to shake the woman, but that isn't helpful.

“Eighth, we’re in room 804.”

Next to my room. My legs almost give way. Why was Emily in my room? She must have gone up there for something. She had the spare key. We had some stock up there. Damn it. Why didn’t she tell me where she was going?

EMT’s arrive and following in their wake is Jude, looking frantic as hell. Luther is right behind him, eyeing the police as he walks up to Riggs. If anyone recognizes Jude, they don’t say it. The gawkers are all too busy watching the police, speculating about why they’re here.

Jude grabs on to me and pulls me in to him. “You’re okay.”

“No, I’m not.”

“What? You’re hurt,” he pulls back, his eyes scanning my body, looking for injuries.

“Not me,” I start to cry. “Emily.”

I sit in the hospital with Jude beside me. He got Emily into a private room at the hospital. My hands are still shaking, even though he has me pressed tightly against him. His lips have been set in a thin line the whole time we’ve been here. Waiting.

Emily is okay. A few scrapes and bruises and a nasty bump to the head, but she has no serious injuries.

The stalker was arrested after being detained by the marine from the room next door. I don’t give a shit about her. All I care about is Emily.

As soon as the nurse comes out of the room, I jump up and they let us go in. Jude follows me. He’s barely left my side since Luther brought us here. He left though leaving Riggs with us while he went to deal with the police.

“Oh God.”

I hurry to the bed. Emily is sitting up. She has a band aid on her forehead, surrounded by some deep bruising, and there are bandages on her forearms, but other than that, she looks fine. If a little pale.

“I’m so sorry,” I take her hand.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she shakes her head, then winces at jolting it. She looks behind me. “Holy fuck, Jude Smallwood.”

“Hi,” he steps up. “How are you feeling? I’m sorry about all this.”

Her mouth is hanging open as she stares at Jude. He glances at me, then back to Emily and gives her a smile that has her tittering.

Tittering, like an adolescent. I can’t believe she isn’t mad. I was terrified for her.

She went up to the room to grab some more goody bags as we were running low. The woman, whose name we now know is Teresa Smithson, was lying in wait, having somehow broken into my room. The police think she had some kind of special machine that could override the electronic locks on the door.

I keep trying not to think about what could have happened if the neighbor hadn’t heard her scream. I don’t even care it could have been me in that room. Emily should never have been put in that position.

Jude is stressed about the whole situation. He keeps glancing at me, as if he’s worried I’m about to tell him to get the hell away from me and take his fame and his stalkers with him.

That won't happen. As scared as I was and as worried as I am for Emily, everyone is okay. And it isn’t his fault. It’s no one’s fault. I even feel a little sorry for the stalker. She has issues she needs help with.

Jude’s face darkened when I said that, but he held his tongue.

“I know I look like crap and this band aid is not a good look, but can you take a picture with me? My boyfriend won’t believe it.”

“Uh, sure,” Jude is twitchy, but when Emily hands me her phone, he moves closer to the bed and bends down. He smiles as I take the picture.

This is surreal. I’d expect Emily to hate us. Maybe it’s a delayed shock reaction. But she chats happily to Jude, like nothing happened.

Luther puts his head in the room about twenty minutes later and I kiss Emily’s cheek and go out with Jude to find out what is happening. He has a tight hold of my hand again as we walk into a quiet room, passing Riggs, who is on his phone by the nurse’s station.

He’s pissed that he wasn’t able to protect Emily, but he had no way of knowing she was in danger. He seems to always takes the blame unnecessarily. It isn’t his fault either.

All I know is, if it were me coming up to that room, Riggs would have been with me. He would have protected me from her. As far as we knew, with our limited knowledge, Riggs did the exact thing he was told to do.

It’s clear as soon as the door closes that something is seriously wrong between Luther and Jude. I note the cut and bruise on his lip and remember Riggs saying Jude punched him.

I keep quiet about it because I don’t know the dynamic between these two. Luther has been with the band since the start, so I hope Jude can get over this.

He’s upset Emily got hurt, but I’m his priority, which is a pile of crap when someone did get hurt. One error in judgment doesn’t negate all the good Luther has done for them over the years.

I pull Jude down into a seat to stop him pacing and half dragging me along. He doesn’t seem to realize he’s doing it.

Luther fills us in on what is going on with the police. He reels off a myriad of charges she is facing both for this and what she has been doing towards Jude. He can’t say how it is going to go, but she has been arrested and taken to jail here in Chicago. Emily is pressing charges.

Jude leans forward in the seat, his elbows on his knees, and rests his hands over his face. I look at Luther. He gives me an apologetic look before turning back to Jude. He’s about to say something and I think both of them will regret it, so I stand up.

Jude moves his hands and watches me. Luther is still looking at Jude until I speak.

“Thank you, Luther. For everything. Riggs being here was your idea, I’m guessing. He didn’t leave my side. It’s unfortunate what happened. He did what you told him to, and I was safe,” I pointedly don’t look at Jude when he huffs.

“You don’t have to say that, Krista. But I appreciate it.” Luther’s voice is quiet.

“I’ll just see Emily and then we can leave.”

“You can’t go back to that hotel-” Jude starts.

“I know. It’s a crime scene, anyway.” I roll my eyes. “We’re going to my parent’s house. The neighbor has a key.”

“That’s a good idea,” Luther says. “I’ll get Riggs to drive you.”

He leaves the room and I turn to Jude. He looks terrible. I hate he feels guilty over this. Walking to him, I wrap my arms around his neck. For a moment, he hesitates, then he pulls me against him.

“Fuck, Krista.”

“It’s okay.”

“It isn’t. You were in danger because of-”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll give you a split lip to match Luther’s.”

He pulls back and gives me a confused look, but there is an edge of guilt to it. He eyes the door Luther just left through, and his jaw hardens again.

“It is because of me.”

“It’s because of her. Not you.”

“How can you be so… okay with this?”

“This is not me being okay. This is being upset about my friend, sad that you think you’re to blame, and pissed I can read exactly what is going through your head. Stop it.”

“What does that mean?”

“You think this is going to scare me off?”

He starts to say something, then closes his mouth and pauses. “Doesn’t it?”

“If you think that, Jude Smallwood, then you don’t know me as well as I thought you did.”

“My head is fucked up about this.”

“Well, let me help you out with a little part of it.” I lean back in and run my hand through his curls. He tilts his head into my hand as I run my palm down his cheek and hold his face. “This has been horrible. I’m sure Emily is going to freak out at some point and I’m always going to feel bad about her being the one who got attacked, but I don’t blame you. And I’m not scared enough to walk away. I love you Jude. That doesn’t change because this happened. Do you hear me?”

A wry grin lifts the corner of his mouth. “I like this bossy side of you.”

“Hmm, well, it does come out now and then. Now, are you going to get over yourself and accept that not everything falls on you?”

It’s been a hell of a day. It hurts that I had to leave the convention and I won’t be going back, but Bri and her assistant, together with some volunteers are making sure my stand is dealt with. I asked them to take names and contact details for people who were in line so I can send a free signed book.

“I love you too. But let me freak out for a little while.”

“Okay, but only if you forgive Luther.”

“Krista,” he sighs. “If he’d told me, this could have been avoided.”

“If he told you, you would have left.”

“No, that isn’t-”

“To protect me. You would have left. You know I’m right.”

“Do not sell it we’re together because of Luther.” I grin and he glares back. “I’m pissed at him,” he grunts.

“And I’m sure he feels like shit about that. He’ll blame himself just as stupidly as you are.”

“Shit, I hate that you’re right. But he can stew for a while.”

“Pettiness isn’t an attractive trait.”

“You’re driving me crazy. But fuck, you’re gorgeous when you do it.”

He leans in and kisses me, pulling me tight to him. When he stops and lowers his lips to my neck, his breath is warm when he speaks. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Ever.”

He can’t promise that. Going into a relationship with someone as famous as he is will have its drawbacks. There is always the possibility this can happen again, more than once. But I won’t let the fear of the unknown take away what we feel for one another.

I’m all in on this.

“I decided.”

Jude straightens up. He runs a hand through the length of my hair, holding it in his fist. “About what?”

“Luther can get the RV back to California for me.”

The smile he gives me lights me up and takes away some of the darkness of the day. It won’t last long because I’m still scared for Emily’s mental state, but it’s enough for me to know I’ve made the right choice. It might only be small, and other people won’t get what it means for me to hand over the keys to my RV.

"So long as you forgive him."

Jude scowls at the caveat. I arch a brow until he relents and nods his head. Even with his jaw clenched I know he won't lie to me. He might not like it, but I'm pretty sure, deep down, he knows Luther made an error in judgment. It doesn't mean he needs to be fired.

Jude pulls me in for another kiss, I know we’re going to be alright. He’s deep inside my heart, and I never want him to leave.