Epilogue
Five Months Later
“Hey everyone! Ah, man! You have no idea how happy we are to be here tonight. This is our last show on the tour. Can you believe this is the first time we’ve played in Montana?”
The crowd screams and I laugh into the microphone as Ethan strums a tune on his guitar.
“I mean, what the fuck is up with that? This place rocks!”
More screaming, I can barely hear myself think. My heart is pounding an out-of-control rhythm in my chest, as I look out over the packed outdoor arena laying out before me. I walk to the far end of the stage and hold up a hand. Sol starts a slow drum beat. It builds up and up as Paul’s bass comes in. The crowd gets louder and when it’s at a full-on fever pitch, I run as fast as I can across the stage and out onto the protruding section that has been built into the crowd.
The roar goes even higher and as Ethan’s screech on the guitar blasts through the stadium, I execute a perfect front flip and land on my feet. Flashes are going off everywhere. The crowd is losing their shit and I feel on top of the fucking world.
Of course, I made that move right by the VIP section of the crowd. I always find her amongst a sea of a thousand faces and have to grin at the wide-eyed shock. It rarely comes up in conversation that I took gymnastic in high school, and learned how to do all manner of flips without breaking my neck.
Krista’s arms lift into the air along with everyone else. She screams with the crowd as Sol’s drums change rhythm. The crowd roar the instant they recognize the beat. Like a fucking wave, it hits me, and I tip my head back, arms out wide.
For a moment I get lost there, staring at the blue sky, listening to the fans scream out the lyrics of the opening verse. I haven’t started singing yet because I want to hear them.
They never lost the faith, no matter what the press kept saying, although our return was gradual. Fisher turned out to be a pretty fucking amazing manager. He isn't overworking us. He’s listened to everything we’ve had to say, and he’s smoothed everything over with the people who need soothing.
We couldn’t have asked for a better return of Reckless Soul.
When I look back down, my eyes find hers like a fucking magnet. She’s singing along. Her sister and mom are beside her. Shari was always a fan, but Grace, her mom is a new convert, much to Krista’s dad’s dismay. I love her parents. They welcomed me with open arms, much the same way Krista did.
Shari was more full on. She kept trying to get me to come to college parties until Krista warned her to back off. She’s calmed down a lot in the last couple of months.
Further along the line are Emily and her boyfriend, Stan. She recovered from her ordeal without too many lasting effects. My mom and dad can’t deal with the noise of a gig like this, but my little brother and his friends are in the area with Krista’s family, too. I’ve already clocked how he looks at Shari, or the looks she has been giving him back.
Wayne and Drew couldn’t make it because they were in the middle of an important business deal in Paris, but they’ve been to one of the shows before this.
We changed our original tour to an arena tour, with only eight dates across the states. We’ve spread them out, so we get time to go home between each performance. No long stints of travel on the tour bus involved.
This is the last show we will perform with Sol for a while. She still has over two months before her due date, but after every show, she’s exhausted. She has been determined as hell to see it through to the end, and I’m so fucking proud of her for making it this far.
I almost miss my cue to sing because it’s impossible to drag my eyes away from Krista Benke.
She told me all those months ago that Whispers of the Lost is her favorite Reckless song. So now it is always our opener. But tonight is special.
We have come full circle, back to where it all began in Montana. We’re not near where we met, but it counts that we’re in the state. And in the lot behind the building, the RV is waiting for us.
I join in singing with the fans and walk back onto the main stage, trying not to focus too much on her. It’s fucking impossible. In an arena of thousands, she is the only person I see.
We perform for almost three hours and not once do I succumb to exhaustion but Sol is always in the back of my mind and I check on her regularly.
We are strict on when we end for Sol’s sake and it’s still early in the evening. After the last song is sung, the four of us walk to the front of the stage, me and Ethan with our arms around Sol’s waist, and Paul with his on my shoulder.
I don’t know when we will be a foursome like this again. I don’t know what the future holds for the band, but I’m not worried about it. A certain red-headed bombshell taught me to always focus on the positives, and that is what I’ve been doing in every aspect of my life.
While I wait for Krista to get backstage, I have time to shower and make sure I have everything I need for the trip. It’s a little earlier than Krista normally plans her trips, and it’s going to be cold as shit, but I don’t care. There is a very good fire in that RV that I never got to check out last time.
The four of us are sitting in a dressing room together, waiting. Paul is heading back to San Francisco tomorrow. He’s spent nearly six months working on the solo album, but still isn’t happy with it.
He has met someone too, a guy who lives in the Bay area and he spends all his free time up there.
Ethan has turned into a mother hen and is driving Solene nuts. He’s read every book imaginable on pregnancy and babies and has even threatened to move in with her to help.
I haven’t been able to talk her into finding the father. Krista told me to leave it alone. If Sol is ever ready, I can be there to help.
The case against Smithson didn’t take long either. Turns out Emily’s mom is an assistant DA in California. She had no legal sway over the events in Chicago, but she has friends who could move things along. The trial was brought forward and dealt with quickly.
In the end, she was given a five-year prison sentence for her attack on Emily and an extra three for a lying in wait charge. The stalking shit wasn’t proven, so she got away with that, to a degree.
“Did you ever think when we said the band was going to be destroyed if we didn’t do something, we’d end up here?” Ethan asks.
Sol is sitting on the couch, lightly rubbing a hand over her belly. She’s changed into comfy, loose clothes and flip-flops and although she looks tired, she has a serene smile on her face. Ethan is across the room, but he’s watching her.
He’s been arguing with her the past few days about being in the delivery room. Sol is horrified at the thought of her brother seeing her ‘hoo har,’ as she put it. Since finding out she’s pregnant and the baby can hear, she’s cleaned up her vocabulary.
If anyone else swears around her, we get a wrist slap or a dirty look if she can’t be bothered getting up to chastise us physically.
“Not in a million years,” Paul says with a slow nod. “Knocked up, practically married, and a delusional moron who thinks he’s the next Mary Poppins.”
“Hey,” Ethan shouts. “And what does that make you?”
“The only sensible one,” Paul leans back against the wall with a smirk.
I don’t say a damn thing about Paul’s assessment of me. Maybe because if I open my mouth, then they’ll figure it out. I’m surprised none of them have noticed me compulsively checking my bag because I’m scared the damn ring is going to fall out. Which would mean my plan for our return visit to the Badlands will fail epically.
Sure, people might think this is too fast. We still live in different cities, but both of us have jobs where we can spend time at the others place, without worrying about it.
Considering she stole my beating heart right out of my chest within moments of meeting her, proposing seven months later, isn’t that out there? Right?
I come out of my thoughts to Paul slapping fists with Ethan, then leaning over to kiss Solene.
“You’re flying back tonight?” I ask.
“Yeah, got plans.”
None of us have met this guy Paul is shacking up with. He has every right to keep it to himself, especially given he hasn’t let the world at large know his sexuality. He’s never kept someone from the rest of us before, which only makes me think this is serious. There is nothing like keeping your crazy friends away from someone you really care about, so they don’t drive them away.
“Good luck,” Paul says to me as he opens the door.
“With what?” I ask.
He just laughs. The door closes behind him as he walks away. I look back at the other two. Sol is watching me, contemplating whether to say anything.
“What?”
“Bro,” Ethan gets up and reaches into his back pocket.
When he pulls out the ring box that should be in my fucking bag, I spring across the room and jump on him. Ethan shrieks and bats at me. I will not hit him, but what the ever-loving fuck is he doing going into my bag?
“Boys! Stop it right now.”
“Oh, you got that mom voice down, sis,” Ethan laughs. He swats at me and pushes me away, handing me the ring box.
“You’re a prick,” I say, checking the ring is still inside, then shoving it into the pocket of my jacket.
“Solllllll, he swore.”
She rolls her eyes and I shove Ethan, just as the door opens and Krista walks in. She eyes me and Ethan in the corner, ignores us and goes to sit with Sol. They’ve become friends over the last couple of months.
Sol was standoffish at first, saying she had to make sure Krista was worthy. My girl won her over. She’s by herself, so I guess everyone else has headed home or off to party. Ethan is the only one who will join them.
“Keep your mouth shut,” I warn Ethan.
“What do you take me for?” he shrugs.
I won’t answer that. I head over to my bag. While Krista is talking with Sol, I take the ring and push it back in, zipping it up so no one else can steal it. It’s time to leave. I arranged this date in the east of Montana so we can get to the Badlands National Park in time for the sunrise.
“Sol, if you need help, call me.” I grab my bag.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Ethan flips me off. It’s his way of getting around the no swearing rule. The baby can’t see. “She has all the help she needs right here.”
I pointedly look at Sol and she nods, letting me know she will be calling me.
Krista lurches out of her seat when I grab her hand and pull her up. She stumbles into me and laughs as her feet try to right themselves. I can smell beer on her. It’s okay. I’m glad she had a good time. I’m driving tonight.
“What’s the rush?” she asks.
“We’re on a schedule, Krista.” I look down my nose at her. She can never resist a good schedule.
After saying our goodbyes, I usher her out of the dressing room. Riggs is outside with Steadman, a new guy on the team. Luther is around somewhere. He's still on the team. Things have remained strained between us but I promised Krista not to hold it against him. Riggs lifts his chin and tosses me the keys to the RV. They’re going to stay with Sol and Ethan and leave Krista and I to do this alone.
Riggs might not be as close to Sol anymore, but I still see the way he looks at her. That is not for me to worry about. I have a place I need to be.
When I step into the RV, a sense of peace washes over me. I’ve been on a high all night, but now it feels like I can breathe. Krista grabs the snacks and water and sets up in the passenger seat while I stow our bags and get into the driver’s seat.
“Are you sure you don’t want to rest first? You just did a three-hour show with no breaks.”
“I’m good. Fasten your seatbelt. Besides, you drank beer that isn’t low cal, low alcohol, vinegar flavored water.”
“My, how the tables have turned,” she laughs. “Can I pick the music?”
“Have at it, babe.” She scrolls while I turn up the heat. We won’t put the fire on till we’ve parked up, but the heaters up front are good enough to keep the chill at bay.
She’s asleep within an hour. I pull over and carry her to the couch, so she is comfortable and adjust her, so the seatbelt is securing her, cover her with a blanket and head back up to the front.
Back on the road, I soak up the peace of the quiet highway, the occasional car passing by, and the music playing low. I remember little from the original drive along this highway. I was too busy looking at Krista’s legs and marveling that she loved music so much. And how she’d handled Cody fucking Rigsby.
That asshole is in federal prison. It took forever to get the full investigation complete, and charges brought against him. But the extent of what he had stolen went into the hundreds of thousands. Quicksilver wanted everything thrown at him and that happened.
When I hit the bumpy road leading into the Boondock campsite, I ease us over to the wall. It’s fucking freezing right now, so we have our pick of the space. There are three other RVs, but no tents, and they’re all spaced far apart. It’s pitch dark outside and feels like I’ve driven into a black hole.
It’s perfect.
“Are we there?” Krista’s sweet voice rouses me from my seat.
“Yeah. It’s almost two AM,” I say before she asks. Because I know her and how she thinks.
“You need to sleep,” she wipes at her eyes as I lean down and brush some hair back off her face.
“Sounds like a plan,” I yawn.
Krista unbuckles her belt and takes my hand, following me into the bedroom. Everything about this place is so familiar. Even though we haven’t been in it since we arrived in Chicago last year and Krista isn’t due for her annual summer tour yet.
“Is that…” Krista laughs and moves over to the bed. She picks up the black cowboy hat that I’d left lying in the middle of the bed and turns to me. “If you weren’t dead on your feet, I’d make you put it on and ride you like a good little cowboy.”
“Little?” I arch a brow. “Why do I feel awake enough to prove there is nothing little about my cowboy?”
Her laugh is husky, but it turns to a yelp as I bend forward and grab the backs of her thighs, lifting her up so her legs glide around my hips.
What I should do is get some sleep, because we need to be up in a couple of hours if I want to enact my plan. But she is so fucking addictive, I can’t stop myself. There are far too many layers to peel off her before I’m touching bare skin. I watch the goosebumps raise on her arms, as I pull down the straps of her bra. Her tits are highlighted by the moonlight coming in through the window behind me.
I want to see all her gorgeous flesh, but she’s too cold and I can’t have that. I shove the duvet to the side and she scampers under it, peeking out to watch me strip off, making a show of it just to keep that smile on her face. Even if it feels like my balls want to shrivel up and bury themselves inside me.
“God damn it’s fucking cold,” I shiver.
“Get in here,” she cries, and I dive under the covers with her. “Did you not put the heaters on throughout the RV?”
“What?”
“The heaters, they’re throughout the whole RV. The controls are by the door.”
“Shit, really? I will do that next time,” I grin. “I kinda like this though.” I pull her naked body against me.
Krista pulls the covers up over our heads and climbs on top of me, stretching out, pressing her breasts against my chest. Her wild hair gets in the way. I wrangle it back as she dips her head and presses hot kisses to my mouth that has a pulse thumping in my cock.
It isn’t long before she’s sliding her soaked pussy onto me, pulling me in and squeezing, crying out her pleasure against my mouth. The heat quickly becomes unbearable, and she sits up, pushing the covers back and rising, thrusting her tits as her back arches.
“Fuck, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I grunt, grabbing onto her hips and thrusting up, unable to stand it any longer. The need to come taking over me so hard there is a scream building in the back of my throat.
My balls ache as she squeezes me tighter, knowing full well how to work my body.
“Yes,” she chants over and over, grabbing her breasts and moving over me faster.
My head tips back and I squeeze my eyes shut, grabbing on to her hips and pulling her down so she comes with me, her body going taut, her cries loud enough that the RVs further down the wall can hear.
I don’t care if they do. Let them know how good I fuck my woman.
She collapses on top of me. Her hair is damp and sticking to our hot skin between us. Neither of us has any desire to move, laying together, our hearts pounding. That all changes when we start to notice the cold air swirling around us again.
I’m exhausted, but remember to set an alarm before I fall asleep.
I wake up with Krista half draped over me, her arm is reaching across towards the side of the bed.
“Why did you have to set the alarm so early? It kept waking me up.”
“Because…” Wait. What? I spring up and she falls backwards.
“What?” her eyes widen.
I glance towards the window. “No.” I throw back the covers and get up, walking out of the bedroom and into the living area so I can see better. The sun, what there is of it, is already starting to crest over the peaks of the Badlands.
“Jude?” Krista comes out of the bedroom wrapped in the duvet.
She eyes me and I shiver. I’m standing in the middle of the fucking RV buck naked and it’s about thirty degrees in here.
“We’re gonna miss it,” I hurry back to the bedroom and almost trip over the duvet as I pass her.
“Miss what?” she turns, watching me throwing on some clothes and tossing some at her. The sweater smacks her in the face and she bats it away. “Jude? What is going on?”
“God damn it.”
“You wanted to watch the sunrise?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay then, let’s go watch it.”
“It’s practically up,” I point at the lightening sky.
“So, we can still watch it. Come on, you can’t go out in just a sweater with no pants. I’ll make coffee, then get dressed.”
I look down at my half-dressed state and let out a laugh. As usual, Krista gets us organized and although we’re not out to see the sun rising, we do get to watch as the shadows grow longer through the peaks in the valley, brightening everything up.
It’s cold as shit out here and my fingers are going fucking numb as I feel around in my pocket for the ring box. Instead of worrying about how everything is going wrong, and that my plans are taking a dive off a cliff, I move behind Krista and wrap my arms around her middle, pulling her back to me. She grips my forearms with one hand, still holding her coffee in the other.
Despite the cold, and my plans going awry, I couldn’t be any happier than I am right now. I had a whole grand plan to get on one knee and ask her, but I’ve never been conventional like that. I reach into my pocket and take out the box. Flicking it open, I pull the ring out and drop the box back into my pocket.
“Hey,” I nuzzle under her hat until I find the cold skin of her cheek and press my lips to it. “Are you happy?”
“Hmm mm,” she leans back and closes her eyes. “I love it here. And even though we missed the start of the sunrise, it’s still beautiful to look at like this.”
Fuck it. I take her coffee cup and turn her around to face me.
“You okay?” she asks.
“Yeah. I’m more than okay," I set the cup on the floor and straighten back up.
She smiles and I could die happy knowing I put that smile on her face. I kiss her softly, then murmur against her mouth.
“Marry me?”
She takes a second, and I can’t blame her for that.
“What did you just say?”
Not exactly articulate for a man who is usually good with words. I hold up the ring between us. Her eyes widen and then fill with tears as she looks from me to the ring and back again.
“I want to watch every sunrise with you for the rest of our lives. I want to marry you. If you’ll have me. Shit, that was terrible. I had it all planned out, and I fucked it up.”
Her face breaks into a smile as tears spill over her lashes.
“Jude,” she takes my hand holding the ring and keeps it steady between us. “It was perfect.”
“You’re a pretty liar, Krista Benke.”
“I’m not lying. And I’d love to watch every sunrise with you, Jude Smallwood.”
She nudges my hand and I look down, then take her hand and slip the ring onto her finger. She stares at it for a long time. It’s a simple princess cut diamond set on a white gold band, with three small diamonds embedded on either side.
It reminded me of her, elegant but multifaceted, beautiful but understated.
“That’s a yes, right?”
A laugh-sob escapes her, and she wraps her arms around my neck. “That was most definitely a yes.”
I lean in to kiss her. Over the fucking moon, even if I did mess it up. She said yes anyway. Krista sinks into the kiss and I’m about to drag her back inside. The RV should be warm enough, since we started the fire before we came outside.
A voice interrupts us. I turn to see a couple in hiking boots and backpacks. The man is holding up a huge Nikon camera.
“Would you mind taking our picture?”
Krista laughs, making the man’s smile falter. Just when I think she is about to tell them to get lost and grab me, like she did the last time we were here, she gives me another quick kiss. She goes over and takes the camera from the man.
As I watch, they put their back to the Badlands and smile wide as Krista snaps a few pictures of them. I can read what is going through her head right now. One day, that will be us.
Because this place is intrinsically woven into who we are now.
This won’t be the last time we come back here.
I wasn’t wrong.
Just over a year later, we are back. And I’m marrying the woman of my dreams. The love of my life and keeper of my heart, with a group of our closest friends and family watching.
I can’t take my eyes off her, in a gorgeous sweeping dress, flowers tucked into her beautiful red hair. Krista holds my hand and promises to love me for the rest of her life, and I do the same in return.
We stand here with the beautiful backdrop of the sun setting over the South Dakota Badlands, and the RV where it all started, the back covered in bumper stickers, parked behind us.
I no longer hate being Jude Smallwood, because Krista Benke is my wife.