3. Chapter 3
three
Blue - Unclean
Jackie pulled a hand through her hair as she entered Talia’s office.
“How did it go?” Talia asked, setting down the small stack of mail she had been sorting.
“Draining,” she replied, not bothering to hide her exhaustion. “Anything for me?” Talia handed her a letter and set the rest on her desk. At the corner lay a thick manila envelope. “Is this for me, too?” she asked, picking it up to look at the name printed on the shipping label.
“It’s addressed to Dimitri.”
“Since when does Dimitri get mail?” Jackie questioned.
Talia shrugged. “Can I get you anything?” she offered.
“No, thank you, though.” She gave Talia’s arm a gentle squeeze as she pressed past. She hesitated and turned back when she reached the door. “Can you just tell Dimitri that I’m out of my session when you go deliver that?”
“Of course.”
“And make sure you make him pay the toll.” Jackie smirked. “I wouldn’t want to be accused of special treatment or something.”
Talia laughed as Jackie closed her door.
She settled into her desk, opening Cliff’s letter.
Her stomach sank. The letter was so short…
again. No news… was not good news. It meant secrets were being kept even from Cliff, who had been a part of Patterson’s inner circle for almost three decades.
Jackie’s stomach clenched with anxiety as she slowly made her way through the encoded letter.
When she finally reached the bottom of the one-page, single-sided letter—all Cliff had to write—she rested her forehead on the desk, trying not to feel hopeless.
She desperately wanted a nap.
She tried to keep her breathing steady. If she stayed like that long enough, she just might be able to doze off for a few minutes.
The soft click of the door drew Jackie from her wallowing. Dimitri walked timidly toward the desk, sitting in the chair on the left, next to his usual spot.
“Are you feeling okay?” she asked, irked to see him in the wrong chair. “You look a little washed out. And that’s not your usual spot.”
“My usual spot?” he questioned.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sit in that chair before.”
Dimitri narrowed his eyes at her, clearly confused. “I do that?” he asked, looking at the other chair. As if noticing the chair he was in didn’t feel right, he quickly got up and settled into his usual spot.
“Did you hit your head recently?” Jackie joked halfheartedly.
“Talia said your session was draining,” he replied, dodging Jackie’s teasing.
She narrowed her eyes at him now, not sure what to make of his demeanour. She decided she didn’t have the energy to push and tentatively nodded. “Yeah. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I still hadn’t expected it to be that hard.”
Dimitri nodded his understanding. “I’m so proud of you for doing this. I know from experience how hard it is to start.”
Jackie nodded again, not trusting her voice as her throat constricted and her eyes welled with tears. Dimitri stood and rounded Jackie’s desk to pull her into his arms before sitting with her cradled in his lap.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“No, it’s not that.” Jackie shook her head. “I just… I didn’t realize how much I was holding in until she started asking questions and all of this… stuff started bubbling up.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s uncommon.” He kissed her hair, breathing her in. “Maybe you could try writing it down as it comes to you. Keep a journal or something.”
“Kendra already asked me to keep a dream journal and told me to write down anything else that comes to mind, and we’ll go over it at our next session.”
“Good, it sounds like a smart plan.” He kissed her again, pulling her tight. “I love you, and I’m here for anything you need,” he breathed into her skin.
“Thank you.” She held his cheek, pecking his lips gently.
They sat in silence, Jackie welcoming Dimitri’s warmth and comfort.
“Hey, you want to go to a concert?” he eventually asked, breaking through the silence.
Jackie raised her head from his shoulder, a broad smile on her face. “Yeah, who’d you have in mind?”
“Em’s band has been going kind of viral, so they were invited to play at this cool historic theatre in Montreal. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to get tickets for us, but he did. Besides the festival circuit, this will be their biggest show to date.”
“That is so cool. How many tickets did he get? Should we invite Talia?”
“I can ask if he can get a third ticket,” he agreed. “Should make sure it’s Talia’s type of music, though,” he chuckled.
“True.” She nodded. She sighed, the exhaustion she’d felt not long ago now replaced with excitement. “Oh, this is going to be so much fun. I’ve been such a fan since I met Em.”
“Yeah, we’re also going to be on bodyguard duty because Cam is like, seven and a half months pregnant and insisting on being there for Em’s big night.”
Jackie laughed. “Oh, I’m so excited. I cannot wait to see Cam again and finally see Em live.”