27. Rae
27
RAE
Now
I t’s after eleven o’clock when we finally settle in for the night. Hunter cleaned up the kitchen and washed all of our swimming gear in preparation for another day in the pool, per Riley’s request, while I got Riley in the bath and bed in record time. After getting her straight, I took my time getting myself together, opting to use the hallway bathroom instead of the one in Hunter’s room because my heart started to race at the thought of going in there, and now I’m staring at myself in the mirror wondering what the protocol is from here.
Do I just go to bed without saying goodnight?
Do I go back downstairs and…hang out with Hunter?
Do I climb into bed with Riley and hope he has the good sense not to come looking for me?
I don’t know.
The first and third options seem rude, especially after such a lovely evening, but the second option feels wrong. Like I’m inviting trouble inside after flirting with it on my doorstep all day. Sighing, I pick up my phone and shoot a quick message to the group chat I have with Jayla and Dee, hoping that one of them will respond. It’s a long shot since they both go to bed before the sun sets, but I have to try. After five minutes of nothing but radio silence from them, I’m left with no choice but to make a decision on my own.
And by decision, I mean leave the bathroom and go wherever my feet take me, which is to the stairs that lead back to the first floor. The lights are still on down there, and I can hear the faint sound of the dryer turning, so I know Hunter is still up. I creep down the stairs, not wanting the creaking of the old wood to wake Riley, and breathe a sigh of relief when muscle memory from all the months of sneaking around to keep our relationship a secret from Will allows me to dodge the loudest one.
Once on the first floor, I let the bond I work so hard to ignore when I’m around Hunter lead me to him. It’s a silent tugging of my heartstrings that moves my arms and legs, turning me into a lovesick marionette. When I find him outside on the patio with a glass of sweet tea in front of him and a glass of red wine waiting for me, I feel less ridiculous for giving in to that bond because he was clearly listening to it, too.
“Thank you,” I whisper, feeling shy as I take the seat beside him. “I didn’t know you kept wine in the house.”
“I don’t. I bought it for you,” he says, stretching his long legs out in front of him. He showered at some point, probably when I was upstairs deciding whether or not I wanted to come down, and I’m delighted to find that he still wears a black tank and shorts to bed.
Picking the glass up, I note that the wine has been chilled, which means he planned this little rendezvous. “Does it bother you? Because I can have something else.”
“No.” He turns a dark gaze on me, catching me off guard. “You know alcohol has never been one of my vices.”
The way he says it makes my throat dry, so I bring the glass to my lips and take a sip before turning my focus to the dark expanse of land in front of us. Hunter eventually moves his attention to it, too, and we fall into a comfortable silence that reminds me of how easily we used to exist together. We could sit in silence for hours, wrapped around each other, trading kisses and touches but not words. I miss the ease we used to have, especially because I’ve never found it with anyone else.
“Was Riley disappointed she didn’t get to see the treehouse?” Hunter asks, breaking into my thoughts.
“A little bit, but I told her you said we could walk down tomorrow morning, and then she was fine.”
“I love having her here,” he says, his voice low and rough with emotion. “I love having you here.”
“We love being here.”
There’s no point in lying about it. No point in trying to make him feel like he isn’t single-handedly responsible for the best day we’ve had in New Haven since we moved here.
“You can be here whenever you want, for however long you want.”
“Careful,” I chide, infusing levity into my tone. “If you let Riley hear that, we’ll be here all the time.”
Hunter’s eyes glitter with an intensity that melts the forced smile right off of my face. “I wouldn’t mind that. In fact, I’d prefer it.”
I don’t know why I’m stunned. The man isn’t exactly good at hiding his feelings. I see the way he looks at me, the way he looks at Riley. I hear the things he doesn’t say lingering between the lines of the things he does. I know him, and I know that every day he’s spent getting to know his daughter has also been spent falling back in love with me.
Maybe he never stopped.
Because I didn’t, I never stopped loving him.
Maybe we’re just destined to live forever like this, unable to love anyone else because our unresolved feelings for each other won’t let us. I mean, that has to be what’s happening with me and Aaron, right? We didn’t start falling apart like this, all of our broken pieces and frayed edges exposed, until Hunter was back in the picture, dragging my love for him up to the surface, making everything complicated and messy. The way it always is with us.
I take another long pull of my wine. “Pretty sure Aaron wouldn’t be happy about that, though. Not that he’s happy with anything I do these days.” When a full minute goes by without Hunter responding, I shoot him a look. “Are you really not going to say anything?”
“You said you didn’t want to talk about Aaron with me, so I’m trying to respect your wishes.”
I wave a dismissive hand in the air. “That was earlier. Now I’m on my way to being wine-drunk, and I’ve changed my mind.”
He arches a thick brow at me. “You haven’t even had a full glass yet.”
“I’m a mom now, Hunter, which means I’m a lightweight.”
We both know that even if I was a lightweight, I haven’t had enough alcohol to impair my judgment or make me change my mind about something I was just dead set on a few hours ago. Even if I had, Hunter doesn’t look like he’s in the mood to take advantage of my preparedness to break my own boundaries.
“Sunshine, we can’t talk about Aaron until you’re ready to do something about Aaron. Until then, save all your complaints for Dee and Jayla.”
Ouch.
Hunter must see the hurt on my face because his features soften just a bit. “Talk to me about something else, anything else. Just not him.”
I press my lips together, fighting against the sudden urge to cry and racking my brain for something to say that has nothing to do with Aaron, or even Riley, something that just has to do with me, something that’s all mine that I can give him.
“Oh!” I shift in my seat, pulling one leg up to face him. “I finally decided on a name for my school.”
Hunter’s entire face lights up, and my chest goes warm and fuzzy. This. This is the energy I want to be met with when good things are happening for me. Not the negative and, oftentimes, lackluster reactions I get from Aaron.
“Tell me.”
“En Pointe,” I emphasize the words with a dramatic flourish of my hand that makes Hunter smile. “It’s perfect, right? Because it encapsulates the beauty and rigor of ballet all at once.”
Pointe work has always been synonymous with ballet. It’s not always the most challenging part of being a ballerina, but it is the most well-known. I want the dancers I produce to be that closely intertwined with their chosen craft, their names and faces as easily associated with ballet as the term that inspired the name of the studio they trained at.
He nods his agreement. “I love it. Now, you need a logo.”
“Already done.”
“Well, you’ll also need some branded merchandise. I have a guy who does my stuff for the gym; I could see if he could get you some stuff before your opening. When is it again?”
I bite my lip, excited about being asked questions about the project I’ve been dedicating every waking hour to lately. “The opening is going to be at the end of this month.”
His eyes go wide. “Rae, that’s fast.”
“I know, but I know I can pull it off. Jayla and the other moms from The Ballet Academy have already signed their girls up, and we’ve been working on a short, choreographed piece for the opening so we can do a little showcase.”
Once again, I’m sharing something with him I’ve been keeping to myself. And once again, he doesn’t disappoint. “That sounds adorable.”
“It’s so cute,” I gush, pulling out my phone to show him the video I took yesterday evening when we were practicing. Hunter leans in close, watching with rapt attention.
“They look so serious,” he says, shaking his head. “Little ballerina robots.”
I laugh. “Don’t call them robots.”
He turns serious all of a sudden, pulling back to put some distance between us. “I’m proud of you,” he murmurs, the words hitting me right in the chest. “You’re really going for it, and you’re not compromising your dreams for anyone, not even Aaron.”
I pull back, too, putting both of my feet back on the ground in hopes that it will stop me from feeling like I’m floating on a cloud. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about Aaron,” I say, taking a sip of my wine.
“I don’t,” Hunter scoffs. “Fuck Aaron.”
His candidness makes me choke, sending droplets of red wine flying out of my mouth and onto my thighs. Hunter pushes to his feet and rushes inside, grabbing a dish towel and returning in a second flat. He drops down to his haunches in front of me, using gentle strokes to dry the liquid up but still managing to graze my thighs with his fingertips.
“You really don’t like him, huh?” I suck in a breath.
Hunter taps my right knee, ignoring my question. I allow him to nudge them open. His eyes stayed glued to my face as his fingers guide the towel up, stopping mere inches from my clenched sex. He knows what he’s doing. The way he licks his lips tells me as much, and I still don’t move a muscle to stop him. In fact, I do the exact opposite, parting my legs further in a silent challenge for him to continue, for him to act on the heat gathering in his eyes.
For one blissful second, it feels like he will. His fingers dance up the inside of my thighs, the towel long forgotten, and I slide down in my chair to grant him even more access. But just as he’s about to reach the hem of my very short nightie, he stops and stands, backing away from me with regret etched into his features.
“Goodnight, Sunshine.”
The next morning I wake up in sheets that smell like Hunter and just a tad bit hungover because after I thoroughly embarrassed myself and got left hanging high, dry, and horny, I stayed up and finished the bottle of wine Hunter opened for me.
The sun is already out, but that’s not what woke me up. I lay in bed for a second, trying to figure out what exactly pulled me out of unconsciousness, and then I hear it again. The pitter-patter of little feet making their way toward the door I’m currently hiding behind. I know it can’t be anyone but Riley, and so I sit up, bracing myself for her inevitable entry.
Seconds later, she comes bursting through the door, giggling like she’s running from someone, and hops in the bed with me. Well, not with me, on top of me, which makes me grunt as the door swings back closed, shrouding us in silence once more.
“Good morning, Mommy,” she says, knees in my stomach as she climbs over me and settles onto the pillows I just had my head on. “How did you sleep?”
“I slept just fine, Nugget. How about you?”
She gives me a thumbs up, indicating a great night’s sleep and making me smile. I’m so glad she feels comfortable here. Hunter’s house has always felt like a home to me, a place where you can be settled and safe, and it makes me happy that Riley feels that, too.
“How long have you been up?” I ask, turning onto my side and tossing an arm over her.
“A while. I woke up and went downstairs looking for you, but Daddy said you were still sleeping. We went on a walk to the tree house while it was still dark. We watched the sunrise.”
My heart squeezes as a flurry of emotions runs through me inspired by the images rolling through my mind. Hunter took Riley to our tree. I rub at my chest, pushing back the tears brimming in my eyes, so I don’t alarm Riley.
“That sounds like a beautiful morning.”
“It was the best morning!” She smiles. “Now, Daddy’s making pancakes, and I’m in charge of drinks.”
“Oh, that’s a big job for such a little girl. Are you sure you’re ready for that kind of responsibility?”
Riley rolls her eyes. “It’s just juice, Mommy. I can do that easy.”
“Of course you can,” I assure her, smiling because she hates when I forget that she’s a big girl who can do hard things. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yep,” she says, popping her lips on the ‘p’
“If you’re in charge of juice, what are you doing up here with me?”
“Well, I came to see if you wanted orange juice or apple. Daddy said he trusted me to make a good choice for you, but I didn’t want to choose wrong.”
“Rileyyyy!” Hunter’s voice comes through the door, followed by the sound of his footsteps, and I look at Riley, stretching my eyes wide.
“Uh oh, sounds like the boss is looking for you.”
She giggles as Hunter calls out for her again. “Where’d you go, Nugget?”
“I’m in here with Mommy!” she shouts, sitting up just as he pushes the door open slowly and peeks his head through.
I sit up, too, because it feels weird to be seen lounging around in his bed, but I immediately regret the decision when Hunter’s eyes fall on me. My nightie, which is just a white version of the one I spilled wine all over last night, is sheer, leaving very little to the imagination. Hunter’s mouth hangs open as he studies me, his eyes traveling from my face down my neck and then to my chest, where my nipples are standing at attention, straining towards him through the thin fabric.
“Can we have breakfast in bed?” Riley asks, slicing through the building tension the way only a child can.
Hunter swallows, and his lips part like he’s preparing to answer her question, but no words come out. I jump in, intending to save him by supplying an answer but only managing to make everything worse when I say, “No, sweetie, we don’t want to make a mess in Daddy’s bed.”