Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ryan
I clutched Pedro tighter, wrenched free from Ronan's grip, and spun around to leave. I had to get out. Had to get Pedro out of here. But the next second, Ronan's hand clamped down on my arm again.
"Let go." I kept my voice low, trying not to alarm Pedro.
A few stragglers were still packing up in the auditorium, and several had already noticed our commotion, throwing curious glances our way. Damn it. I couldn't make a scene here, couldn't let Pedro witness this.
"Inside. We need to talk." His tone was iron. "Either you come in with me now and we settle this, or I guarantee you, in five minutes, this entire Harvard campus will be locked down by my people. Your choice, Ryan."
I stared into those gray eyes, a wave of despair washing over me. I knew he could do it.
"Fine."
Ronan's jaw was locked tight as he half-dragged, half-guided me through those uncertain stares. He shoved open the lounge door, then slammed it shut behind us. The lock clicked.
"Mommy?" Pedro squirmed in my arms. "Why is he pulling you?"
"It's okay, baby." I set Pedro down on the corner sofa. "Mommy needs to talk to this gentleman about work. Just sit here and don't move, okay?"
"Why?" Pedro blinked those big eyes at me. "I'm hungry, Mommy."
"We'll eat in a minute." I dug the tablet and headphones from my bag. "Watch an episode of Paw Patrol first, okay?"
"Okay." Pedro took the tablet, but his eyes still darted curiously toward Ronan.
I got the headphones on him, checked the volume, then stood up and positioned myself between Ronan and Pedro.
Ronan didn't speak right away. His gaze moved between me and Pedro, hands clenching and unclenching.
"Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for you?"
The pain in his voice made my heart clench, but I forced myself to stay calm.
"That has nothing to do with me, Mr. Valerius."
"Nothing to do with you?" Ronan laughed coldly, then closed the distance between us in two strides.
"You vanished for four years!" He grabbed my shoulders, bent down until that devastatingly handsome yet brutally cold face was inches from mine, and snarled through gritted teeth.
"One thousand four hundred and sixty days.
I went insane looking for you. I had rats dragged out of sewers for questioning! "
"That's your problem. Just because you were looking means I had to stay put and wait?"
"Do you have any idea what happened to Rose?" He yanked me closer. "Because you disappeared without a word, she didn't speak for an entire year."
A surge of guilt I couldn't suppress hit me. For four years, I'd dreamed of Rose standing barefoot in that hallway, watching me leave with those hollow eyes. I owed that child so much. But I'd had no choice.
"Her only wish now is to become a therapist," Ronan's voice went hoarse. "A therapist like you. She reads professional books way beyond her years, attends conferences, all hoping to see you again."
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry about Rose. I never wanted to hurt her. But Ronan, you made me leave! You forced me to run!"
"I forced you?" Ronan's fingers slid from my shoulders to my neck, pressing against my pulse. "Ryan. You were playing me from the start, weren't you?"
I froze. "What are you talking about?"
"Nicholas Sterling." Murder laced his tone. "I finally traced that connection. You contacted him before you disappeared. Nick's tied to Night Owl, and you... I still can't tell if you were used or if you were in on it."
Absurd. Completely absurd.
I'd fought like hell to escape that killer's world, to protect the baby in my belly from gang warfare, from being used as a replacement. I'd hidden for four years, changed my name, severed every tie to my past. And now? Now I was a suspected conspirator?
I raised my hand and slapped him across the face with everything I had.
"You impossible bastard! What gives you the right to interrogate me? What gives you the right to pin your dirty schemes on me?"
"You want to know why I left? Fine. I'll spell it out for you! Because I saw what kind of monster you are!"
"You never told me you were in the mafia!"
"Ryan, listen to me..." Ronan's expression changed completely. He reached for me, but I slapped his hand away.
"Don't touch me!"
"I contacted Nick because I was desperate! I needed help getting away from you! I didn't know anything about 'Night Owl'!"
"Don't act like you're some wronged victim! Did you ever really love me, Ronan? Or did you just love this face?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Victoria told me everything!" I stared at him, sickened by the hypocrisy.
"She showed me Natasha's photo. We're practically identical.
I was just a cheap substitute to fill the void your ex-wife left!
You were hurting over Natasha's betrayal, so you found me—some idiot who looked like her—played with my feelings, watched me fall for you like a fool, and now you have the nerve to accuse me of betraying you? "
"Natasha's photo?"
"Yeah! Surprised I know the truth?" I looked at him coldly. "So spare me your heartbroken act, Don."
Ronan just stood there, staring at me. After a moment, he reached inside his jacket. I tensed instinctively, but all he pulled out was his phone. He tapped the screen a few times, then turned it toward me.
"This is Natasha."
My hands started shaking. This woman's face was round; mine was oval. Her nose was delicate; mine was straighter. Her eyes were green; mine were blue. Apart from both being blonde, we looked nothing alike.
"Why... why would she do that?"
"So it was her." Ronan's voice was bitter. "She succeeded."
So I was never a replacement. All those sleepless nights, all that torture and self-doubt, wondering if every tender moment and flutter of my heart had been fake—it was all just a vicious lie.
My knees gave out.
"Ryan!" Ronan caught me around the waist, pulling my collapsing body against him.
"Let me go..." I struggled weakly, but my hands pressed against his chest had no strength. I gasped for air, the room spinning. The belief that had sustained my hatred, that had kept me going these four years, was crumbling to pieces.
"The pier... that was on me. But... that animal almost raped you! And we found out someone was bankrolling and directing his every move toward you. I had to root out whoever was behind it, had to eliminate the threat completely. I couldn't let you be in danger again—"
"But Ronan, you are my biggest danger." I'd finally recovered enough to speak. "Yes, he almost raped me. Yes, I know you did it for me. But that doesn't change my fear. You're a Mafia Don. Your world will always have guns, blood, vendettas."
"Ryan, I'm changing." Ronan's voice was urgent.
"I admit what I am. I never wanted to hide it.
I just couldn't find the right time. I was afraid too.
Afraid you'd look at me exactly like this, like I'm a monster.
Ryan, I've been sick of that world for years.
I've been pushing the family business to go legitimate.
All the shipping, the real estate—it's being cleaned up.
I want to give you and Rose a clean future. .."
"It's too late." I shook my head. "Ronan. It's all too late. The damage is done. I won't let him anywhere near those shadows. Not for a single day."
I pulled out the old phone and that crumpled note from my bag and handed them to him.
"Here's all my 'evidence.' That note led me to the pier. The phone has everyone I contacted. With your resources, knock yourself out."
"None of that matters anymore, Ryan. Come back to New York with me." He looked at me, almost pleading. "Come home. I'll make up for every second of these four years I missed. I'll protect you and Pedro with my life. I swear, I will never let anyone hurt either of you again!"
I looked at his face, so close to mine, at the love burning in his eyes. God, how I wanted to say yes. My body, my heart—after hearing the truth, they were screaming at me to fall into his arms. But I slowly, firmly shook my head.
"No." I pushed his hands away.
"Why? You know everything was a misunderstanding. Why won't you come back with me?"
"Because some things aren't misunderstandings." I met his eyes calmly. "I understand what happened back then was manipulation. I accept that Dustin's death had reasons you couldn't control. I even believe you've been working to legitimize your business."
"But that doesn't change one fundamental fact, Ronan.
" I pointed to the hard outline barely visible at his waist. "You're still the Don of a Mafia family.
Your world still has vendettas that could come at any moment.
No matter how clean you get, those enemies lurking in the shadows—like this 'Night Owl' you mentioned—they'll still be there, watching you like snakes, targeting your weak spots! "
I turned to look at Pedro in the corner, headphones on, oblivious to this cruel world.
"I spent four years building Pedro a completely clean life. He can run in the sunshine and go to a normal preschool. His world doesn't have bulletproof glass, bodyguards, or assassins to watch out for." I looked back at Ronan. "I will never bring my son into your world of danger and darkness."
After I finished, Ronan's face twitched. He slowly stood up, looking down at me. Then he suddenly bent down, bracing his hands on the armrests on either side of me, trapping me completely in his presence.
"I'm not letting go." He ground out each word, those gray eyes burning with obsessive fire. "Four years ago, I stood there like an idiot and watched you disappear. I won't make the same mistake twice."
"You can't erase me from this child's life forever."
His breath washed over my face. "You think New York's too dirty? Fine. I'll move to California. Be a regular father."
"But, Ryan." He lowered his head until our noses almost touched. "If you think you can disappear from me again, go ahead and try."