Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Ishould go back to the hotel. I’m not needed or wanted here. And yet, here I am, still sitting on the floor outside of the bedroom CJ was taken into. His mother asked me if I wanted to go in. I didn’t. I also can’t seem to bring myself to leave.
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t kind of situation. If I stay, I’m sending the very opposite message to CJ that I want to be sending. If I leave, well, that makes me look like the bitch everyone in this house already thinks I am.
They don’t say it, but they don’t have to.
I can see it in their gazes as they look at me.
The only person who hasn’t treated me like I’m beneath them is Aiden, CJ’s little brother, and Mr. Bianchi, CJ’s father.
His mother has been polite but I can tell she’s holding back what she really thinks of me.
I can’t say I blame any of his family for hating me. I did hurt him. No one knows why I had to leave the way I did, and they probably never will. It doesn’t make it any better, though. Even if they did know, they wouldn’t understand the choice I made for us.
At the time I was seeing CJ, no one even knew anything was going on between us. They probably suspected it, but we had never confirmed the rumors. I guess either he told everyone what a bitch I was after I left, or they came to that assumption themselves.
It hurts. Being here. Being this close to him and knowing that absolutely nothing has changed. I still can’t have him. Oh, but do I want him, so bad.
“You look like you have a million thoughts in your head, Daniella.” Aiden sits down across from me. His back against the wall and his butt on the floor.
“Your brother was just shot because someone pointed a gun at me. Yeah, I have thoughts,” I tell him.
“Who do you think is out for you?”
I lift a single shoulder up and down. “No idea, but I’m sure it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with my family.”
“Yeah, I’d say so,” Aiden agrees.
“I should go back to the hotel,” I say. I don’t make any effort to move, though.
“Why haven’t you?” he asks.
“I don’t know.”
“You do know. You just don’t want to admit it,” Aiden tells me.
He’s right. I do know and I am not admitting it to anyone, especially myself.
I thought I was better. I thought I had figured out a way to get on with my life without thinking about him every other second.
I thought I was going to be fine. And then I came here, I saw him, and it’s as if the past few years of moving on never even happened.
One glance at CJ and he was right back there. That spot in my heart that only beats for him. I need to find a way to build those walls back up. I need stronger mortar to stop them from crumbling again.
The door to the room opens and his parents step out. “Daniella, he’s awake,” Mr. Bianchi says.
“Is he… is he okay?”
“You can go and see for yourself. I’m sure he’d like to see you.”
“I doubt that,” I mutter under my breath.
“He’s going to be okay. If you want to go back to the hotel, Aiden can take you,” Mrs. Bianchi adds. Her tone is soft, neutral, but I catch the fact that she doesn’t want me here.
I nod my head, because I shouldn’t be here. I don’t belong here, and I sure as hell do not deserve to be anywhere near her son. I get it. I’d be mad at me too. I am mad at myself.
“You should go in there before he gets out of bed and comes searching for you,” Aiden says when his parents walk away.
“He’s not going to do that.” I shake my head, but then the door opens and I look up to see a very-pale and very-shirtless CJ staring back at me.
“What the fuck are you doing on the floor?” he asks.
“What the bloody hell are you doing out of bed? Are you stupid?” Jumping to my feet, I take hold of his arm and lead him back into the room.
“I can testify to the fact he is indeed very stupid,” Aiden says from where he’s still positioned on the floor.
“I can still kick your ass, Aiden,” CJ hollers back.
“No, you can’t. Get back in the bed, CJ,” I grunt.
“Thought you’d never ask, darling.” CJ smirks at me and then his face hardens. It’s as if he forgot momentarily that I am enemy number one here. “Why were you out there on the floor?” he repeats.
“I was about to head back to the Royal. I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I left,” I tell him.
“Why?”
“Well, you did jump in front of a bullet for me, CJ. I feel like the least I can do is make sure you’re going to pull through before I leave.”
“Why? You seem to manage to leave me just fine without caring if I’m okay with it. Now isn’t any different, Daniella. You can leave.” CJ’s tone is dismissive.
I do my best to not let the hurt show on my face. I deserve to be hurt by this, because I did this. “I know. Thank you, for what you did. Not many people would jump in front of a bullet for me.”
CJ blinks. “It’s a reflex. I saw a gun and jumped. I would have done it for anyone.”
“I know. But still, I wanted to thank you.” I shrug.
CJ runs a hand through his hair. “You really believe I’d ever let you get hurt, Dani? That I wouldn’t jump in front of a grenade if it meant protecting you?”
A lump forms in my throat. He’s gone from icy-cold back to the CJ I used to know, the one I fell in love with.
“CJ, you can’t say things like that to me,” I whisper. Because when he says things like that, it makes it harder for me to walk away, and I need to walk away.
“Where the fuck is she? Daniella!” My dad’s voice booms through the house.
“Shit.” I flinch. He sounds really pissed.
“You in trouble, Dani? Let me guess, you being out in that tiny little scrap of material wasn’t preapproved by Daddy?”
“Shut up,” I hiss.
I look around. CJ’s right, though. My dad is going to have a coronary when he sees what I’m wearing. I’ve learned over the years it’s just easier to not show him what or how little I wear when I go out.
“Top drawer. I have some shirts in there,” CJ tells me. “I keep shit here for when I stay over.”
I can hear my dad calling out for me again, his voice getting closer. I know I’m an adult. I don’t need anyone’s permission to wear what I want to wear, but some fights just aren’t worth the energy.
Pulling the drawer on the dresser open, I take out a black t-shirt and yank it over my head, bringing the collar to my face and inhaling. It smells like him.
“Did you just sniff my shirt?” CJ asks.
“No. I was wiping my mouth on it,” I lie.
“Sure.”
“Daniella… Fuck…” My dad comes rushing into the room. His arms wrap around me and he pulls me tight against him. “I never want to hear the words gunshots and your name in the same sentence again,” he says against the side of my head. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m not the one who got shot,” I remind him.
That’s when my dad turns to CJ. “Thank you,” he grunts. “Now, someone better tell me what the fuck you were doing out on the Strip with him.” He points to CJ. “I thought you had a headache and went up to bed, Daniella.”
“I did, and then I wanted to go dancing,” I admit. “I was on my way out and CJ was on the street already.”
“You wanted to go dancing? Alone?”
“Yes. Because I’m a big girl, remember? I can take care of myself,” I tell my dad.
CJ coughs. “And yet here I am, with a bullet wound that would suggest otherwise.”
“I don’t recall asking you.” I glare at him but he’s just smiling back at me. “Dad, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone out, but I just wanted to have fun. Can you take me back to the hotel now?” I ask, batting my lashes.
“We’re not going back to the hotel. The Bianchis have offered to host us at their place,” Dad tells me.
My eyes bug out of my head. “What? No. I mean… I can just stay at the hotel. I’ll be fine there.”
“You were just the target of a drive-by shooting, Daniella. Hell is going to freeze over before I let you go anywhere alone again,” Dad says.
“Aiden, tell Mom I’m ready to go home!” CJ calls out to his brother while grinning at me. “Looks like we’re going to be roomies.”
“You should learn to sleep with one eye open, CJ. I’ve been known to smother people when they sleep.” I smirk and walk out of the room, my dad’s laughter following me.