Chapter 5
Chapter Five
I’ve been holed up in bed for a couple of days. Well, mostly. I’m avoiding the guests in my parents’ house. I don’t even live here, but when I heard she was going to be staying, I thought it’d be a great idea to spend some time with my family.
I’m blaming the effects of whatever drugs the doc gave me, because as soon as I got to the house, I realized I don’t actually want to be around her.
I don’t want to walk past her in the hall or see her at the breakfast table in the morning.
I don’t want to pretend that I’m fine with her being here like I have been.
I don’t even know why my father thought inviting her family to stay with us was a good idea in the first place. Which is why I’m currently sitting on the sofa in his office asking as much.
“Why let them come here? You know they have cash, right? They can go rent any house. Or better yet, jump on a flight back to Australia.”
“Last I checked, this was my house, CJ, and I didn’t need your permission to have friends stay over. If you don’t like it, you do have your own home to go to,” Dad tells me.
“I’m recovering from a bullet wound. I need my mom.” I smirk at him. I’m more than milking my recovery, but if you had a mother like mine, you would too. She hasn’t stopped bringing me food every couple of hours, and something my mom does best is cook.
Dad shakes his head. “I want my wife back. You need to go home, CJ.”
“She’s my mom. Pretty sure that trumps wife,” I tell him.
“Yeah, tell me that when you have a wife and kid.”
At that, I laugh. “Never gonna happen,” I say, because I can’t have the one person I want. Correction, wanted. I wanted her. I don’t anymore.
“You sure about that?” Dad asks.
“Yep.” The P sound pops at the end of the word as it leaves my mouth.
“So, you don’t care that Daniella is upstairs right now getting ready to go on a date then?”
His question has my head snapping up, my eyes pinning his as I’m trying to determine if his whole plan is to get a rise out of me. His face gives nothing away. I stand and wince as I move faster than what my body wants to allow me.
“I have shit to do,” I grit out.
“If that shit has to do with Daniella, I would suggest you get a handle on your emotions before you go and see her,” he says.
“Why do you like her so much?” I ask the question that’s been burning on my mind for the last couple of days. My father has always been polite to her, but lately he’s been… extra about it.
“She’s going to be my daughter one day. It’s not so much that I like her. It’s that I know you and I know you love her,” he says matter-of-factly. “Besides, she’s a nice girl. You could do a lot worse.”
I blink at him, dumbfounded. “You know she doesn’t actually want me, right? She left. She made her choice and it wasn’t me.”
“So, change her mind,” he says.
“I’m not begging for scraps of anyone’s affection, Dad.” I walk out and head upstairs, because despite what leaves my mouth, I am not okay with her going on a date with anyone else.
I reach the bedroom I know she’s staying in.
I know that because my dad made sure to inform me which room she was in the day I came home.
I’ve done everything I can to stay away, to give her what she wanted.
Because we both know there is nothing I wouldn’t give her, even if it meant having to lose her.
That was then. I’ve changed. I’ve gotten older, wiser and all that bullshit. Or perhaps I’ve just gotten angrier.
She wanted me to let her go and I did. But now she’s back. She’s in my fucking parents’ house and thinks she’s just going to walk out the door and go out on a date with another fucking man? Fuck that.
I knock on the door before I decide to just open it. I know I’m an asshole and shouldn’t just walk in on her. She could be getting dressed. Then again, it’s not as if I haven’t seen her naked before. I can still picture her spread out on the sheets beneath me as if it were just yesterday…
Daniella is sitting on the bed, a laptop open in front of her. Her head turns towards me and then a confused look crosses her face. I’m sure I’m the last person she’d be expecting to appear in her room.
Stepping farther over the threshold, I close the door behind me.
“What? Are you okay?” She looks me up and down.
“I heard you were planning on going out on a date tonight. Who is he?” I ask, doing nothing to hide the anger in my tone.
Daniella’s brows draw down. “Whoever told you that is bullshitting you, CJ. I don’t date.” She turns her attention back to her computer and starts tapping away at the keyboard.
“You don’t date?” Now I’m more curious than I should be.
“No. What’s the point? I’d only hurt whoever I dated anyway.” She shrugs.
“Why?”
When she left, I came to terms with the fact I wasn’t enough for her, that it was something about me she didn’t want.
I never once questioned why I wasn’t enough.
I didn’t get the chance to. But what if she didn’t leave because of me?
What if there’s something else stuck in her head that gave her a reason to go?
Fuck, now I’m looking for a reason to break her down. I don’t want to do that, but I also can’t seem to shake her from my thoughts, from my fucking soul.
“The why doesn’t matter, CJ. You came here to ask a question. You got your answer. You can leave now,” she says dismissively.
“I’m not the one here who leaves, Dani.” I walk into the room and sit on the bed, leaning my back against the headboard. Next to her. The moment my eyes flick to her computer screen, she shuts the lid. Interesting. “Watching porn?” I ask with a smirk on my face.
“No!” Daniella gasps. “Besides, this house is full of hot men walking around. I don’t need to watch porn to get turned on. I’ll just go for a stroll.”
I choose to ignore that statement, because if I don’t, I’m going to turn my mother’s home into a slaughterhouse and that’s probably not going to end too well for me. Especially since she said she was making lasagna tonight. I really want that lasagna.
“Why don’t you date, Dani?” I press her.
“Why are you asking me? We’re not friends, CJ. We don’t have conversations like this, and why are you on my bed?”
“You never used to complain about me being in your bed,” I remind her. “But I overdid it coming up the stairs. I need to sit for a bit.” It’s a lie. I could stand, but I know by the look on her face she buys it.
“Do you need something? Want me to get your mom?”
“And have her find me in your room?” I raise a curious brow.
“No, she hates me enough already,” Daniella says.
“She doesn’t hate you.” I don’t think she hates Daniella. She hates what she did. That’s not the same thing.
“Your entire family hates me. Well, maybe except for your dad and Aiden,” Daniella says. “But I get it. I deserve it.”
“You’re avoiding the question. Why?”
“Because it’s not something I’m going to answer honestly, and I don’t want to lie to you,” she says.
“Okay, let me ask something else.” I take a breath. “Why wasn’t I enough?” I don’t shift my gaze from hers, and when she frowns in confusion, I have my answer.
“My leaving had nothing to do with you, CJ. It’s me, not you.”
I laugh. “You leaving had everything to do with me. Why wasn’t I enough to keep you here?”
“I have a life. I have a family. I live in Australia.” She repeats the same words she told me all those years ago.
The only difference is… now I have enough time between the shock of hearing them, having my heart tearing in two, and trying to process the pain I was feeling that I can see them for what they are. Bullshit.
“Okay, what if I said I was moving to Melbourne next month? Would that change your mind? About giving us a go?”
“I left, CJ. Why on earth would you even want to try again?”
“Let’s say I do, and I moved to Melbourne, would you?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“I can’t,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” Daniella stands from the bed and quickly runs out the door.
It’s okay, because I have time. I can wait for her to come back.