Chapter 18
JENNY
Lucas has been on my mind nonstop for the past few days.
He’s been on my mind since I got home to find him working on the ranch, if I’m honest, but this is different. I haven’t been shying away from the thoughts of him or from the memories of both our good times and our bad. Fleeting ideas of what life might be like if we picked up where we left off.
If we did it right this time.
It’s hard to accept the possibility of anything happening between us after so long spent hating him. Hate isn’t the right word, though. I spent all those years missing him, angry that we weren’t together, but I never hated him.
It was just easier to think that I did.
Now, though, I can’t pretend that I ever stopped loving him.
There’s no way it would be so easy to fall back into old patterns otherwise, step into orbit around each other like there was never any distance between us.
I feel giddy every time I see him, my heart fluttering in the same staccato rhythm it used to at every stupid joke he texts me.
He pushes a little further every day—sitting closer to me when we share lunch, wearing a hair tie on his wrist for when I inevitably lose mine.
Small gestures that mean the world to me, things that stick in my mind no matter how hard I try to ignore them.
I know it’s a losing battle to try to stay away from him, but a small, wounded part of me is terrified that this will go the same way as last time.
Lucas leaving me again would shatter me. I never got over him the first time, comparing everyone I met to him and always finding them lacking no matter how good of a fit we were. No one else was him.
It’s a mix of anxiety and excitement that has me walking to his trailer tonight.
I didn’t even text him, too nervous to say anything beforehand and give him time to think, or worse, give myself time to think.
We’ve both mellowed a bit since high school.
Things will work out this time. If this is going to work—if it’s going to happen at all—I need to see his face when I tell him.
That starts with telling him, unfortunately.
I knock on the warped metal door of his trailer with far more confidence than I actually feel. He opens it only seconds later, brows furrowed in confusion as he scrubs a towel through his hair. That handsome face splits into a grin when he sees me, and he straightens up to invite me in.
Thankfully for my sanity, he’s already dressed, a tank top stretched over his broad chest and black sweatpants slung low on his hips.
“Did we have plans?” he asks, stepping back and gesturing me inside without waiting for an answer.
“Nope,” I say, overly casual as I wander in to lean against the small counter that makes up his kitchenette. He arches a brow at me in silent question before tossing his towel carelessly back toward his bathroom. “Just… have some news. Wanted to tell you.”
I’m sure it’s not news to him, actually. He’s probably just been waiting for me to come around to the realization. I should really reward him for his patience. And for not laughing at the ridiculous way I’m going about this.
Is it really so hard to tell him I like him?
“I actually have news, too,” he says, his smile widening even further as he passes me to grab a bottle of water from his fridge. “I wanted to tell you first.”
He’s practically vibrating with excitement, which makes me pause for a second. I expected him to tease me about this a little if he already knew what I came to talk about, but he seems more thrilled than anything else.
It’s kind of cute, actually.
“Wait, I…” Whatever he wants to tell me about, it can wait. I need to get this out before anything else happens, or it’ll lodge in my throat and the words will stay stuck there. “Can I go first?”
Lucas chuckles awkwardly, but takes a seat on his bed and mimes zipping his lips shut.
He looks unreasonably attractive, all long, thick legs and burly arms propping him up.
His hair is still a little damp from his shower, curling at the ends with the weight of the water, and my hands itch to card through it.
The longer I look at him, the harder it is to find the right words. My carefully prepared speech slips from my mind entirely, and I’m left with nothing but a blush and the desperate need to have him again.
And, well, actions are easier than words.
I close the space between us, anxiously watching as his brows creep up his forehead. He must know what I’m doing, considering the way I stop between his spread thighs, not even half a foot of space separating us.
He still sucks in a surprised breath when I reach out a trembling hand to cup his jaw.
Those piercing blue eyes blow wide as I bend down, and he lifts a broad hand to rest on my hip. I pause for half a second, inches away from his mouth, giving him time to back away if he wants to.
He closes the gap between us before I get the chance to.
His mouth is hungry, a ragged moan slipping from his tongue to mine as he tugs me closer.
I slide my hand back from his jaw to tangle in his hair, all the years of want and loneliness fading away as his fingers clench down on my hip.
He feels just as desperate as I am, teeth nipping at my bottom lip as we trade choked gasps of need.
I pull back for just a second, resting my forehead against his and waiting until he opens his eyes to talk.
“Tell me no if you don’t want this,” I whisper against his lips, trying to show him how much this means to me by the look in my eyes.
“Never,” he whispers back, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me straight into his lap. “Won’t ever tell you no, Jenny. Would have to be an idiot not to want you.”
And now it’s a wildfire between us, the spark of need created from our kiss developing into a blaze as he rolls me beneath him on the bed.
He pins me down, hands on my waist and hips slotted against mine, his entire body moving in a sinuous roll.
I can’t think of anything but him, my need is overwhelming in its intensity.
I yank at his shirt, uncaring about the seams that stretch in my impatience. The second he leans back to pull it over his head, my hands drop to his sweats.
“Fuck, needed me that bad?” Lucas asks.
Normally I’d say he was teasing me, but he’s just as breathless as I am, seemingly incapable of taking his hands off me for more than a second.
“Always,” I say, tossing my head back on a groan when he dips his head to trail kisses down my throat. “Need to feel you, come on, Lucas. Don’t make me beg.”
Something in his eyes goes dark at those words, and all semblance of patience vanishes.
He strips me in a matter of seconds, my clothes tossed to various corners of the trailer in his haste to bare my skin.
Teeth and tongue and lips leave burning lines of heat across my throat, my collarbones, his movements growing more and more frantic as he reaches my breasts.
“Kind of like the idea of you begging, baby,” he mumbles into my skin before rolling my nipple between his teeth in a way that sends heat straight to my core. “You can say please for me, can’t you? Be a good girl?”
My brain short circuits at that, desperation coursing through my veins as I arch into his touch. I don’t even consider making him work for it.
“Please, Lucas,” I gasp. “You’re killing me. Need you so badly, please.”
I fumble for his hand in case my pleas aren’t enough, dragging it between my legs to show him how soaked I already am.
His teeth slice into my skin sharply and he rumbles out a moan at the feeling of slick skin.
I don’t even get a chance to breathe before he twists his hand and slides two fingers inside of me, crooking them up against a spot that has my legs shaking in seconds.
“Fuck!”
“That’s my good girl,” he croons. “Perfect, pretty thing, so wet for me already. Just for me, yeah? All mine.”
I nod feverishly, damn near riding his hand as I chase the pleasure he’s giving me. “Yes, yours, yours, Lucas.”
I’ve always been his, and I always will be. It’s past time for him to know that, and I can’t bring myself to try to hide it now. Everything is on display, all the love I have for him, the need that’s been building since I got back. I want him to see it all, to know it’s all for him.
“Driving me fucking crazy, sweetheart.” He couples the words with a series of kisses across my collarbones. “Need to be inside of you.”
I laugh breathlessly, the tail end of the sound getting swallowed by a desperate moan as he rubs his thumb across my clit.
“No one’s asking you to wait,” I say with a gasp, fighting to keep my eyes from rolling back into my head. “Come on, Lucas, fuck me. Want me to say please again?”
He snarls against my throat at the tease, crooking his fingers up so harshly that it leaves my thighs quivering before sliding them out of me.
His hands are unsteady as he shoves them down to his knees.
The need between us is too strong to separate for long enough to take them all the way off, and as soon as his cock is free, he takes it in his hand and guides it between my thighs.
“Yeah, pretty girl, say please,” he says, his voice ragged as he teases me with just the head of his cock. “Ask for what you want, yeah? Be good for me.”
I groan as he grinds his cock against my clit, spreading the slick heat dripping from me over the length of himself. As desperate as I am, I refuse to make it so easy on him this time. He grunts in surprise when I wrap my legs around his hips and yank him closer.
It’s timed just right so he slips inside of me, just a few inches but already enough to stretch me out just right.
I clench down around him, grinning wickedly as I moan against his lips.
His hips stutter forward, his face going slack for a second as pleasure slams into him with the force of a tsunami.
He’s close enough for me to watch his pupils blow out, and the hunger that settles on his face has me trembling.
“Please,” I whisper against his lips, a filthy smirk on my face.
We both know I’m not asking, but the way he takes my mouth in a desperate kiss tells me he doesn’t mind too much.
He sinks into me steadily, not giving me a second to catch my breath until his hips lay flush against mine. I swear I can feel him all the way up in my fucking throat. I moan into his mouth, tangling my hands in his hair and tugging as I roll my hips to meet his first few thrusts.
Lucas settles into a rhythm easily, hooking one of my legs over his shoulder and pinning my other thigh to the bed so he can reach impossibly deeper.
My nails rake down the nape of his neck and over his shoulders, scraping proof of my adoration into his skin.
He doesn’t slow down even as I start to tense beneath him, my orgasm slowly creeping through my veins, pleasure tightening in my gut.
His fingers just dig into my skin, holding me exactly where he wants me as he drive into me and fucks my brains clear out of my head.
“Lucas, Lucas, fuck.” I chant his name in between sloppy kisses, arching into his thrusts as much as I can. “Right there, so good, I’m so close.”
He grins against my mouth, nipping at my lips as he reaches down to slide his thumb over my clit. My mind goes blank as pleasure sears through me, and I can hardly breathe through it.
“Say please, baby.”
I wail when he grinds deep against the spot that makes my whole body buzz with bliss, and I can do nothing but obey.
“Please, please, ple—”
My voice breaks on a shout as my orgasm slams into me, white hot lightning in my core. Lucas doubles down, fucking me through it as he pants out praise that I can’t make any sense of. I yank him down fully on top of me while I ride the high, rocking against him as he moans into my ear.
“Fuck, pretty fucking—God, Jenny.”
Lucas barely manages to pull out before his own orgasm overtakes him. Come lands hot over my stomach and hips, dripping down between his fingers as he fucks into his hand to draw out the last few drops of pleasure.
“So perfect, my baby, look at you,” he mumbles as he shakes through the aftershocks.
I smile up at him when he reaches out to trace his fingers through the mess on my skin, basking in the hazy glow of slowly fading pleasure.
“Yours, Lucas.”