Chapter 4
Jacks
“Did you get my email?” I ask the girl who sits a few seats away from me in my genetics lecture.
Hadleigh Baker. Grant’s possible tutor for this semester if he makes a good impression, and she agrees. Grant can come on strong when he’s desperate, so it could go either way after this class.
She turns her head to look at me. Class hasn't started yet, so we have some time. “I did. Will he be waiting after class? I have some time before my next one.”
“He should be. I told him what building and room number we’re in,” I tell her as I take out my computer.
Hadleigh’s super smart. I’ve had a few general classes with her, and she always participates and gets all the answers right.
I like to think I’m generally pretty smart, but she’s on Einstein’s level of genius.
She looks like she’s about to say something else, but opts not to. I press her anyway, wondering what could make her nervous to ask me. “Are you okay?”
“What’s he like? Is he an asshole?”
“I don't think he’s an asshole. He’s nice, but he can be a bit dramatic sometimes. You’re going to love him.” I smile at her and she rolls her eyes.
“Okay, well that’s good.”
“It’s going to be great.” I realize in this moment that I never told Grant her name, or what she looks like. Shit. Is this going to be weird? No, I think it’ll be fine.
Right?
Well, it’s not my problem. I’m passing with flying colors. Grant can figure it out, he’ll be okay.
As I pull my notes up on my computer, I see a flash of blonde hair out of the corner of my eye.
I don't even have to look because I already know who it is. God, she gets prettier every time I see her. It’s not fucking fair.
Nobody should be that beautiful. And I shouldn't be so afraid of going up and speaking to her, but I am.
Life just isn't fair.
When I saw her in the dining hall the other day, I thought I was having a heart attack.
It turns out that I can barely look at her without feeling like I got the wind knocked out of me.
That’s how I know that I’m fucked. Maybe by senior year, I’ll have the courage to say something to her, to become friends maybe.
I don't know why I’m so bad at this. I’ve never had an issue talking to anyone before, but with her it's different.
Very different, and I don't know why.
Maybe today will be the day I finally say something. Maybe I can pretend I’m struggling with the homework and can ask her to check it for me. That’s easy enough, right? One classmate asking another classmate for help on these stupid worksheets that we have to do.
She sits down in her usual spot a few rows in front of me, and I know I’m going to spend another entire class fantasizing about having the courage to say something to her.
After class ends, I look around for Hadleigh so I can properly introduce her to Grant, but I don't find her. Shit. Where could she have gone? I grab my bookbag and head for the door, only to peak out and find that she’s already talking to Grant.
Oh good, they’re getting acquainted. Grant’s wearing hockey apparel and has a weird look on his face.
Okay…so maybe the conversation isn't going so well after all. I had a feeling he would fuck this up. He can come on strong, especially when he needs help, and some people who don't know him won’t know that. When Grant cares about you, you’ll know.
I notice his body turn, and it looks like he’s trying to get away.
I walk toward the two of them. “Grant, this is the girl I was telling you about, the one who can help you pass Intro to Lit this semester.” Why does his face look like that?
And what is up with the air around these two?
I feel like I just walked straight into a volcano as I came over here.
Grant holds out his hands a few seconds later, clearly trying to save whatever happened before I came over here. “I’m Grant, and I would very much appreciate your help. That is if you're available and willing to tutor this hockey boy.”
What the fuck does that mean? Why did he just wink at her like that?
I’m so damn confused. She doesn't say a word, and I don't know Hadleigh that well, but I’ve never seen her look how she does right now. I don't even know if pissed describes it. What the fuck did he say to her before I got over here? She stands where she is, just staring at his hand that’s held out. I almost think she’s going to just walk away, but she surprises me with what she ends up saying.
“Hadleigh.” After that, she turns and walks away. Grant stands stagnant for a minute before he’s knocked out of his haze and starts to follow after her, leaving me here by myself.
Well, that could've gone better, but maybe it’ll be fine.
I sure hope she can tutor him because the team can’t lose Grant off defense. We work well together, and it’d be a pain in the ass to have to work with one of the new freshmen that aren’t used to college hockey yet.
“Jacks?” I hear someone say, and when I turn around, I feel my breath hitch in my throat. Jesus, when is that going to stop?
“Hey, Claire. What’s up?”
“Was that Grant? He’s not in our class, is he?”
“No, he’s not.” I run a hand through my hair, suddenly feeling really nervous. “Hadleigh might tutor him this semester for a class he’s failing, and I told him to meet me after so I could introduce them.”
“Grant’s failing something already? I meant to ask him about it the other day when I saw you guys in the dining hall. He looked a bit…stressed. I could tell something was weighing on him.” This must be a sick joke. Not only is she beautiful, but she’s nice as fuck too.
Claire has long blonde hair, a thousand freckles, and blue eyes that match the sky. She’s around 5’6”, I think, and has the prettiest smile that I’ve ever seen.
But she’s not single, so there’s nothing I can do. Not like I would, but a guy can dream, right? “Yeah, that would be what. He’ll be fine though. Hadleigh’s a genius. I just hope he didn't kill his chances with whatever first impression he laid on her.”
She smiles when I say that. I made her smile. Fuck, I feel like I just won the lottery. Why did that feel so good? “As far as first impressions go, I don't think anyone could beat ours.”
“Ah, yes. Me falling on my face probably left a lasting impression on you. I’m sure you’ve told all your friends about the hockey player who can barely skate.”
“Oh no, of course not.” An awkward silence comes over the two of us, and I silently berate myself in my head for saying something so stupid. “I may have posted it on my Instagram for the entire school to see, but other than that nobody knows.”
At that we both laugh, and I realize this is the first time I’m hearing that come out of her mouth.
God, her boyfriend is so lucky. If I was him, I’d try to make her laugh all the time, just so I could hear that sound.
Okay so, she’s beautiful, nice, and funny?
Every time I learn more about her, I want to know more.
But I can't. I can't do anything knowing she’s in a relationship, regardless of whatever Grant and Brendan said the other day.
It’s not like I want her to be my girlfriend. I just want to know more about her every time I talk to her. Whenever we have these short conversations, I find myself yearning for more, and that’s never happened to me before. She just has this way of captivating me, and I’m not sure why.
“Well thanks for that. That must explain why my follower count has gone up. People must feel bad for me knowing that I play hockey and can't concentrate with a camera on me.”
She chuckles again. “No problem. I also sent a few pictures to ESPN, but they have yet to respond.”
“Well if they reach out asking me for a comment, I’ll be sure to mention you as the talented photographer who captured my essence perfectly.” Stop flirting, asshole. She has a boyfriend.
“Talented, huh?” I notice her flushed cheeks and hope that I didn't make her uncomfortable.
“Absolutely. I’ve seen your work all over the website for athletics. It’s insane what you can do behind a camera.” I truly mean that. I have no idea how to work those fancy ass cameras I see people using, but it’s impressive.
“Well thanks. I’ll try to get some better ones of you when your games start up again,” she smiles at me, just as her phone buzzes. “I have another class soon, but I’ll see you Wednesday?”
“Not if I see you there first!” Fucking hell. Why did I say that?
With that, she giggles and walks away.
God, I’m such an idiot. I think about texting Grant to see where he ended up, but I decide not to. I’ll see him later and he can fill me in. For now, I navigate to my next class, with a smile pasted on my face after the short conversation I had with a girl that barely knows I exist.