Chapter One #3
His frown shifted to a kind smile, and his lips became even more distracting.
She had never even considered Jude in such a way before.
Anyone with eyes would note that he was an attractive gentleman, one of the most attractive and desired of the entire ton, but never had she thought of his lips.
How many women had kissed those lips and knew just how soft they were?
She steadied herself by gripping his shoulder tighter, which was a mistake.
His muscles flexed beneath her fingers, and her thoughts drifted to wondering about what was beneath his clothing.
He probably resembled one of the Greek statues in the museum.
Why was she becoming a wanton all of a sudden, when she didn’t even truly know what such thoughts led to? Damn that Lord Lygon.
The dance ended, and he escorted her back to their group. “I bid you all a good evening. I’m headed to my next entertainment for the night.”
It wasn’t lost on Juliana that Matt and Hudson both smirked at Jude as he gave his farewells. That was probably always the case, but she had never noticed before that evening. But for some reason now that she had, it irked her, and she wasn’t certain she wished to ponder why.
*
Juliana tossed and turned in her bed all night.
She hadn’t had such a restless evening of sleep since the first few weeks of accepting her widowhood after Edward’s passing.
She should have been weary and exhausted after dancing all evening.
There wasn’t a single dance where she didn’t have a partner.
None were quite so bold as the baron, but she knew the men were assessing her to determine if there would be potential for something more than a friendly dance.
What kept her up was how much she longed to know what a gentleman of experience could offer her.
She scared herself with the intensity building within her.
There were nights during her marriage when she had lain in bed and wished that Edward might have taken an interest in siring a child, if only so she could know what such things might be like.
They had decided to wait for a couple of years into their marriage, but he was taken before they had the chance.
When Edward passed, she pushed those thoughts aside, and now they returned with an intensity she hadn’t experienced before.
It seemed she had many options to experience wicked, carnal pleasures, but who could she trust?
She wouldn’t want such an arrangement to become known among the ton, and perhaps not even among her friends.
Her thoughts drifted to Jude. If his reputation was even half what the gossip sheets indicated, he would be a prime candidate to teach her the art of pleasure and how to claim it for herself.
She shook off the notion. She was utterly mad.
Jude would never entertain such a notion with her.
He was adamant in his resolve to take his partners and meet his needs from women outside of polite society.
Plus, they were friends. Well, as much as gentlemen could be friends with unmarried ladies.
Although she was a widow, which put her in a different set than the other unmarried misses.
Wouldn’t her friend act as a protector, ensuring her safety and keeping her secrets?
She kept Edward’s secrets, and they attempted to build a life that might suit them both.
Would Jude see the benefit of such an arrangement?
She supposed the benefits were all for her, since there wasn’t much in it for him.
Other than the notion that it would be pleasurable for him, she supposed.
Not that he didn’t have his own options and arrangements for doing so.
She needed counsel to decide. Juliana slipped her dressing robe around herself and lit the candle by the bed.
She carried it over to her writing desk and penned a missive to Marina.
Marina was the most bold and daring of her friends, and if Marina thought she had lost her mind, then she would have her answer about propositioning Jude.
Marina,
I hope this finds you well. I cannot wait to hear word that your new babe is born. When you are ready for visitors, I shall plan a trip to see you.
I write to ask for your help on a private matter, and I beg of you to keep this only between us.
I find I want to make a match for myself, but not take a husband. At least not for a while. I wish for an arrangement which would allow me to enjoy the physical activities a married lady like yourself enjoys with her husband, if you understand my meaning.
I thought to seek Jude for such an arrangement, as he is one of the few gentlemen I know I can trust, who also won’t rush me into marriage. Given the wealth I inherited from Edward, I must be on alert for fortune hunters.
Am I mad? You must tell me. If you find this plan to be insane, I will let it go and ask that you never speak of it again.
Take care, dearest. Do try to slow down and rest.
Yours,
Juliana
Juliana sanded and sealed the missive. She would send it out first thing in the morning. She returned to her bed and settled in again, finally falling asleep.