Chapter Three
Juliana spent the next few days chastising herself for sending the letter to Marina.
Her friend would think she had lost her mind, and any day now, she expected the reply telling her so.
At least she could be sure Marina would keep it to herself, so only the two of them would know about her lapse in judgment.
There had been no social events since the Southam ball, so she had plenty of time alone with her thoughts.
Too much time. Hannah and Tabitha called on her the day prior, but she could never discuss the topic of lust and desire with them.
Ironically, they were all on an even playing field regarding the level of experience with intimacy they each possessed.
She could only imagine the look of shock and pity on her friends’ faces if they knew she and Edward had never been intimate.
“A letter has arrived for you, my lady.” Drummond entered the drawing room and handed her the missive. His appearance pulled her out of her muddled thoughts. He departed from the room, leaving her to inspect the missive in private.
Juliana read the outside and saw it was from Marina.
She drew a deep breath and released it in a long puff, preparing herself for the words of her spirited friend.
Marina was sure to tell her what a fool she was, and likely ask a slew of questions that Juliana didn’t wish to answer.
She passed the letter between her hands, delaying the inevitable before finally opening the missive.
Juliana,
You sound just like Evan telling me to take it easy. I am afraid you shall both get your wish as it becomes more uncomfortable for me to move around much. But fear not, I am well-tended to by my adoring husband, and will send word as soon as the babe is born.
You are far from mad, my friend. I am delighted you are thinking of doing something for yourself. I support your endeavor to solicit Jude for this arrangement. He will ensure you are well tended and safe.
My only request is that you tell me all about it! One can’t help but be a bit curious about the most desired man of the ton. Well, not desired by me, of course.
I do hope you will visit soon. You know you are always welcome!
Yours,
Marina
She folded the missive and tucked it inside the book next to her. She hadn’t expected Marina to so openly push her towards the idea of propositioning Jude. What would she do? Could she go through with such an audacious plan?
Heat pooled in places she hadn’t noticed until she had become fixated on what Jude might offer her. She longed to feel the touch of a man and understand what made her married friends content and enamored with their husbands.
Juliana didn’t need to decide right then.
She could take time to think about the matter and make the right choice for herself.
Jude may not even wish to entertain her offer, should she make one.
His rejection would be mortifying, not that either of them would ever tell anyone.
She knew Jude well enough to be certain of that.
Pushing off the thoughts, she grabbed her book and returned to her chamber to ready herself for a night of dancing.
*
Later that evening, she stood with Hannah and Tabitha at the Beamont’s ball. She looked out among the crowd and told herself she was not searching for Jude. But she also had to laugh at herself, acknowledging she couldn’t even convince herself of such a lie.
She needed to see him and be in his presence again to determine if she still felt the pull she did before.
If so, she had decided earlier while Bonnie had dressed her hair, that she would consider approaching him with her request. The shock of the baron’s suggestion and the excitement of being back out in society may have gotten the better of her.
It all may have put ideas in her head and made her consider Jude in a way in which perhaps she didn’t wish to act on after all.
“Who are you looking for?” the very man asked from behind her. A shiver of awareness shot up her spine, and she forgot all the nonsense she had just convinced herself of.
“No one. Just taking note of who is here tonight,” she said as casually as she could.
He laughed and took her hand to bow over it. “I wasn’t sure if one man had already caught your eye. I heard you were popular at the last ball.”
“I was quite tired from all the dancing,” she responded. “I am glad we had a few days of respite before the next event.”
“Might I have a dance before the line forms?” he asked, motioning towards the dance floor.
She smiled up at him and took his arm, silently willing her hand not to tremble from the wicked thoughts racing through her mind. “Of course, you will be the most pleasant company of the entire evening. Well, other than perhaps Matt. I don’t think there is a more pleasant soul alive than him.”
Jude chuckled. “I think you are correct in your assessment. I don’t know how he remains so amiable.”
The dance was a waltz, and Juliana took it as a sign from the gods. She would be in Jude’s arms for the entire dance, and able to carry on a conversation if they wished. Not that she would proposition him in the middle of a ball. Assuming she even wished to.
Of course she did.
He wrapped his arm around her back, and she fought to keep herself from imagining what his hands might feel like on her bare skin. Her desire had just about made her a wanton. She didn’t know what she would do if Jude didn’t take her up on her offer.
“Do you have plans this evening after the ball?” She didn’t know why she asked. Part of her wanted to know if he would seek one of the many women he was rumored to keep at the ready and waiting for him.
“I think I am going straight home tonight. Not that you should know of the late-night happenings of gentlemen.” He gave her a pointed look before spinning her and pulling her back to him.
She laughed, attempting to hide her delight that he would be alone for the evening. “You forget that I am no debutante. I am, in fact, a widow.”
He contemplated her words. “I guess you have a point there. It is still nothing you should know of.”
“Whatever you won’t tell me,” she said, “the scandal sheets will. Society can’t get enough of you, Jude.”
He groaned. “I do not know why. Most of what they print isn’t even true. I just don’t bother to correct it.” He leaned close to her ear and whispered, “But don’t tell anyone.”
Her skin heated, and his masculine scent infiltrated all of her senses.
She swallowed and forced herself to focus her thoughts on their conversation.
“I would never. The gossip doesn’t prevent you from being invited to every entertainment, and the matchmaking mamas steer their daughters away from you.
Everything a bachelor could want, I wager. ”
“Indeed.” He smiled, but she noted it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Here goes nothing. “I wondered…” She paused and resolved to find the courage.
“Yes? Juliana?” He eyed her with concern in his expression.
“Would you join me for tea tomorrow? I so enjoy our conversations, and it gets so boring living alone.” There, she put it out there. If he didn’t accept a simple invitation to tea, that would be it. She would accept that the entire idea was nothing but folly.
He furrowed his brow and his head tilted, clearly surprised by her request. She had never invited him to take tea before.
She fought to steady her breath, as every moment he took to answer her felt like hours.
“Yes,” he replied, “I would enjoy a visit for tea.”
Juliana released a small exhale and only hoped he didn’t take notice. “Wonderful. I look forward to it.”
The dance ended, and he led her back to their friends. She would have preferred to remain in his presence, but she was immediately asked to partner for the next set. At least the first step to enact her plan was complete, but the hard part would come tomorrow.
*
The next afternoon, Juliana paced her drawing room.
She expected Jude to arrive at any moment, and she doubted her resolve to ask him to be her lover.
The intensity of her desire hadn’t subsided, if anything, it amplified from being in his presence.
She hardly slept last night, imagining what he could teach her and how her body would respond when he did so.
The heat and tension failed to subside, and she fanned herself as she paced.
She desperately wanted an arrangement with Jude, but feared the embarrassment if he should turn her down. He wasn’t known to have ever dallied with anyone from society, and he may not see her the same way that she saw him.
“Lord Sandon is here to see you, my lady,” her butler announced. “Should I bring him here?”
“Yes, Drummond. I would like tea to be served here as well.”
After Drummond departed, Juliana folded her fan and set it on the table.
She steadied herself and clasped her hands in front of her to greet Jude.
They felt awkward before her and she wasn’t certain what to do with her hands.
She was being ridiculous as she had been in the man’s presence countless times.
Drummond announced Jude’s entrance a few moments later.
“Good afternoon,” he said, bowing to her.
“Nice to see you, Jude. Thank you for joining me today.” She almost laughed at herself for how formal she sounded, knowing what she planned to ask of the man.
He laughed. “I could think of worse ways to spend an afternoon than tea with such a lovely, dear friend.”
“Indeed.” She tried to think of something menial she could talk about while they waited for the tea to arrive. “The tea should be here momentarily.” Apparently that was the best she could come up, and she motioned for him to take a seat.
“Of course. How are your feet today from all the dancing last night?” he asked.
She glanced at her slippers. “Quite recovered. At least all of my partners were graceful enough not to step on my feet this time.”