Chapter Five
Juliana was still in a bit of a stupor where Jude left her on the settee. She knew that such things were supposed to be enjoyable, but Jude’s touch unlocked something within. Knowing that such pleasures existed only made her want to explore further, with Jude.
She must arrange the next rendezvous with the man because there wasn’t a doubt in her mind she wanted to learn and experience more of what he could show her.
Her face flushed and a blush rose in her cheeks at how brazen she was in asking him to fulfill her wanton desires.
She was lucky he didn’t run away from her, believing she had gone mad.
She trusted him, and knew he would keep her secrets, as well as make her nights enjoyable.
Especially since that afternoon had been a delightful indication of what she might expect.
Next time, she would ensure she got to see what caused the tempting bulge in his pants, and what it meant for him when he “spent” as he had said.
She cackled at her wicked thoughts. Intense longing consumed her, surpassing even the nights spent alone in her marriage bedchamber, questioning if Edward would ever desire children with her.
She never had such thoughts or daydreams about her husband.
Standing up, she righted her skirts and brushed away a few wrinkles. She tucked a couple of loose curls behind her ear and ensured nothing looked amiss.
Drummond entered the drawing room. “My lady, you have a caller. Lady Hannah is here to see you.”
“Please bring her here, and arrange for fresh tea to be brought in.” The tea from Jude’s visit was still where they had left it.
A smile played on her lips, recalling again what had occurred between them.
“Well, you certainly seem happy, dearest. Did something happen?” Hannah asked. She crossed the room and bussed Juliana’s cheeks, which were sure to be a light pink color in response to Hannah’s question.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Juliana replied, brushing off Hannah’s question.
Hannah narrowed her eyes and assessed Juliana’s response. “You were smiling. It was the happiest smile I’ve seen you wear for at least a year.”
Juliana waved her off. “I must have been recalling something.” Which was true. “I am feeling better now that I am out of mourning.” Also true. She motioned for Hannah to take her seat.
Hannah shrugged. “Well, whatever it is, I enjoy seeing you so happy.”
Fresh tea and cakes were brought in by a maid, who removed the remnants of the previous tea, taking with it the last of the evidence of Jude’s visit.
Juliana reached for the pot and poured a cup for Hannah, preparing it with cream and one sugar, then handed it to her. She then prepared her own tea, attempting to push aside the memories she couldn’t discuss with her friend.
“What brings you by today?” she asked Hannah, before taking a sip of her tea.
“No reason. I just thought to see how you were doing. You will attend the St. Clair Ball tonight, I assume?”
Juliana nodded. “I planned on it. I am enjoying being back out in society at the events, and I was going mad from being cooped up here.”
“Understandable,” Hannah said. “But how fortunate you are that Edward left the townhouse and a country estate for you. You might have had to return to your parents’ home otherwise.”
“My mama tried to get me to come and stay with her,” Juliana replied. “She didn’t like the idea of me living on my own, but I just didn’t feel like I could move back there. This is my home now. I appreciated you and Tabitha staying with me as much as you did.” She patted Hannah’s hand.
“We were happy to do so. I will visit as often as you like. I am still getting used to Diana and Marina now being married and having children, while the three of us are here enjoying the season.” Hannah tilted her head to the side and studied Juliana.
“Do you think you shall ever wish to marry again?”
She certainly couldn’t tell her friend about her experience with Jude and how all she was interested in right now were the physical things that he would provide for her.
She could understand why her friends had found marriage so appealing.
“I haven’t given it much thought yet. I am sure I may consider marriage again in the future. ”
Juliana wasn’t so certain if she would. She’d required love if she were to marry again.
She already had the freedom of being a widow and enough money to live a very comfortable life.
If her physical needs were met, there wasn’t much reason to marry unless she found herself unable to live without the person.
“Lygon seemed to pay you close attention,” Hannah noted, assessing Juliana’s response. “He is handsome.”
“Yes, he is. I am not sure that it is marriage that he seeks. As a widow, I attract different attention than an unmarried miss does, if you understand my meaning.”
Hannah gasped. “Surely, he didn’t suggest such a thing to you! How scandalous.”
Juliana laughed. “Don’t be too scandalized. He was kind about it and presented it more like a matter of business. I guess that is the way of being a widow.”
“Like you would ever consider such an arrangement,” Hannah snickered. “I am glad he isn’t pushing himself on you.”
The blush returned to Juliana’s cheeks. Her friend would be more than scandalized if she knew the truth of what occurred just a couple of hours earlier on the very settee her friend sat on.
The thought brought a small smirk to Juliana’s lips.
She had always been the quiet, reasonable lady of their group, always ready with a kind word.
And there she was plotting all manner of sinful things her body wanted from the most notorious rake of the ton.
Drummond entered again. “My lady, a missive was delivered for you. I didn’t think you’d wish to wait for this one.” He handed her the letter.
“Thank you,” she replied.
He bowed and departed, while Juliana flipped the missive over to ascertain the sender. She stared at the name and frowned. Percival Jenkins, the new Viscount Gordon. The seal that had belonged to her husband made her miss Edward and tears formed in her eyes.
“Dearest, what is it?” Hannah asked.
“It’s the new viscount,” she replied. “The heir who inherited the title when Edward died. Since we had no children, the title went to a distant cousin.”
“What is the man like?” Hannah asked.
Juliana shrugged. “I’ve never met him.”
Hannah clasped her hand. “Are you all right?”
Inhaling a deep breath and releasing it, she wiped her eyes. “Yes. I just wasn’t expecting to see his seal. It’s still hard to believe he’s gone sometimes.”
She broke the seal and read the missive to herself, her frown remaining etched on her face.
“What does he want?” Hannah asked.
“I’m not sure.” Which was true. She wasn’t sure what this was about. “He just stated that he would be in town soon and must speak with me.”
Hannah’s brow furrowed. “What do you think is so important?”
Eyeing the missive again, Juliana shrugged.
“I truly don’t know. The will was clear, and the marriage contracts were in place.
Edward settled a large amount of funds in my name, as well as this townhouse and another estate which wasn’t entailed.
Although I suppose I am still the dowager viscountess, so it must be some kind of estate matter. ”
“It was quite generous of Edward to protect you as he did. He must have loved you so much. I am so sorry that you lost him, and especially so young.” Hannah patted her hand, sympathy washing over her face.
“He was very dear to me.” Which was true.
Her friend just didn’t understand the love between her and her husband hadn’t been as she believed, and how it was she had also been protecting him.
Guilt rose inside her chest knowing that she kept such a secret from her friends.
Perhaps she could explain it to them one day.
But at least for the time being, it was best if they continued to believe her marriage hadn’t been one of convenience.
*
Jude set off on a walk to clear his head after the events of the afternoon.
He still couldn’t believe that he agreed to the arrangement with Juliana.
He should not have done so, but he also couldn’t regret his decision.
Even if he left Carter scandalized when it came time to launder the breeches from that afternoon, it was the most satisfied that he had felt in a long time.
It was laughable, considering she barely touched him.
He could hardly admit it to himself, but he hoped Juliana would seek him out at tonight’s ball and ask him to sneak into her home.
Desire consumed him, overpowering the reservations he had.
And he should have many. But it was his duty as a gentleman to honor a lady’s wishes, was it not?
He would tell himself that at least, to stave off the thoughts of guilt, knowing that if their friends were aware of the agreement, they would believe he was taking advantage of a grieving widow.
Who in their right mind could turn down a beautiful woman who begged for his affections?
His physical attention, he mentally corrected himself. There would be no affection.
The tittering of a couple of ladies ahead of him snapped him back to his surroundings.
He wasn’t sure of their names, but believed they both made their come outs this season.
As he neared closer, he nodded his head towards them, but maintained the pace of his stride.
He didn’t actually wish to speak with them.
He overheard their chatter after he passed them.
“Oh, isn’t he handsome? I know it’s him,” one of the young ladies swooned.
“Your mama will never introduce you. He’s far too scandalous.”