24. EION
Chapter twenty-four
EION
There was a weird lump in my chest that I knew would take some time to release.
The fact that Angus thought those things about me—about us—hurt.
Amelia had made sure I understood Angus’s self-esteem issues, and I struggled myself, which meant I at least understood.
I promised myself that from this point forward, I would do everything I could to make sure he never doubted how much he was loved.
Then there was this whole thing that made my heart feel like it was going to explode.
Angus said he loved me. We were a couple, a team that loved each other.
It made me even happier that we agreed to have Zachary care for the animals on Friday night so we could have a night away.
And I could really take my time showing him how I felt.
“I love you, too.”
It felt different to kiss him now. Such simple words created completely different feelings. Before heading back to check on Zachary, I took Angus’s hands. “My feelings are still hurt, but I understand why you felt that way. You tell me what I need to do so you’ll never doubt me again.”
He blinked at me, and my heart sank. “I am not sure. We are going to have to work our way through these things. I am sorry I’m this way.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. One day you will understand that you are perfect, and there is nobody I want more than you.” Being able to voice my feelings was something I hadn’t done with Trey. He would sulk if it hit too close to home. With Angus, I didn’t even consider holding back, and it showed.
“Let’s go check on the nanny. Manny?” I tugged him toward the small barn.
“Is that what he is to us? Because that gives me thoughts.”
I smacked him. “Eyes only for me, sir.”
“Always.”
“Yeah, he is a nanny for our children. It sounds better than a babysitter. I think he’s going to do a good job.
” We looked into the stall where the bear cubs were.
Zachary sat on the ground with the older cubs curled next to him and the younger two in his arms. All five of them were sound asleep.
Angus put his fingers to his lips, then got out his phone.
After he took a few pictures, I cleared my throat.
Zachary blinked and looked up. "They refused to move after they ate. A nap seemed the appropriate response.”
“Absolutely fine, and it shows everyone is comfortable with each other. Let’s put them back with Brittany. We can go over any questions you have after that.”
“Sounds good. You look way less intimidating here than at the bar, Angus.”
I looked at my boyfriend and realized he was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. There was a small flare of jealousy, but I realized it was silly.
“Remember that I’m more intense about our animals and my boyfriend than I am about patrons.
” He said in a terrifyingly deadpan way.
Internally, I did a happy dance at his words as I watched Zachary stiffen up a little.
I liked this possessiveness from him—only a little.
Plus, he said ‘our animals’, which proved how he was all in at the Sanctuary, and that was sexy as hell.
I wanted to drag him home and get him naked.
“Yeah. Right. Sure. I won’t let you down, I promise.”
I got some bottles of water, and we went over to pet the alpaca.
“I know this is only for Friday night, but can I come visit them other times?” Zachary asked as he entered the enclosure.
I watched as he started to cuddle Walter’s neck, as if he had done it a thousand times before.
This guy was a natural. I tried not to laugh as he was literally sucking on Walter’s ear.
I didn’t want to dive too deeply into the behavior, but both the alpaca and the man seemed happy.
I took Angus’s hand, but looked at Zachary. “I was wondering if you wanted to work here part-time? Every Friday night and Saturday morning, then once a month on Friday, through Sunday night? I’d like to spend time with my boyfriend during those times, but will be around for emergencies.”
Before Zachary could answer, Angus tugged on my hand. “Really?” It looked like he was about to bounce out of his skin.
“I assumed we could afford one weekend away a month. And I thought maybe it would be nice to watch a movie and get up late on Saturdays.”
We were standing there grinning at each other. I had forgotten we had a guest and jumped when he cleared his throat. It was so easy to get lost in Angus. “That sounds good. I hate losing a Friday night shift. I’ll also have to get approval from West.”
“Don’t worry about West. I’ll get your schedule worked out and make sure you earn more here than you would on a bar shift.
If you are interested, we can offer you a place to sleep on Fridays.
” Angus added. It was obvious my boyfriend was brilliant.
When we could expand the compound, we would have a bunkhouse.
But for the time being, Zachary could use the old trailer to sleep.
We were pretty rural, so it would save him from having to drive back late, then drive back early in the morning.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that if the fundraiser was successful, we would be getting more rescues, which meant more mouths to feed and more work.
We would need a full-time employee before long.
I already knew whom I would like to hire.
“Did you hear that, Walter? You and I on Friday nights. We’ll watch the game together.” His comment made me smile, and I didn’t think he was kidding. He had been raised on a farm and missed it. I didn’t realize how well he would fit.
Zachary came out for the evening feeding every night for the remainder of the week, and one evening when I let Ramsey out, he was still on the property, sitting in the alpaca enclosure watching something on his phone.
I left him be. It was far enough from our trailer that he wouldn’t interrupt or hear anything, and if he did, well, these things happened—the idea of it was kind of hot.
A photographer had come to the Sanctuary and taken pictures, while one of Amelia’s writers walked around and talked to me about what we offered.
She asked why I opened the Sanctuary and discussed what we wanted and needed for the facility.
This was all for the twenty-minute presentation that would make everyone open their wallets.
All of this was happening because of Amelia, an amazing woman who had embraced me as her own child.
I hoped I would become her son-in-law eventually, because she would be an amazing mother-in-law.
We had a light dinner, and my nerves were worse.
I wasn’t particularly great with people, but Angus had grown up attending these things.
I had worked in corporate America but had never had to schmooze a room full of people.
I was ready to climb into bed, maybe take Angus hard, to get through some of my worry and frustration.
He was a perfect lover like that, letting me use him to share my feelings, and there were times he did the same.
There was never a moment that I didn’t want him completely—his cock and heart.
I could feel the panic as it rolled through me. “Shit.” I rubbed my face, and my leg started to bounce. “I’m going to fuck this up. Shit.” Barnaby was up on my lap, rubbing and whining. His job was to help me relax, which often included changing my attention to him.
“Sweetheart,” Angus said as soon as he entered the room. Slowly, he walked toward me. He wrapped a hand around my residual limb, his thumb rubbing the skin. “What’s wrong?”
“I. It’s.” I stood up and leaned on what I knew best. I ran.
Without saying anything else, I walked out the door.
All I heard behind me was Angus’s voice.
“Damn it.” I knew I should have turned to my boyfriend and shared my fears, but I couldn’t.
Over the last few months, I have watched him fall in love with this place.
I haven’t really talked to him about it, but I knew deep down this was it for us.
The Sanctuary was our forever, and I didn’t want to blow that up.
I would be at the fancy event tomorrow, and everyone would look at me.
When I lost part of my arm, my life changed completely.
The one decent thing that came out of the situation was a payout and the acres of land I bought.
It would be a perfect place to help those who were damaged—animals and humans.
People—important people—gave up on me, and this was my way of not giving up on those who needed a champion.
I spent almost every dollar on the land, but I didn’t mind because I made this place and there was plenty of room for those who needed my help.
And now it was our place; the fear of ruining it started to suffocate me.
These rich people were going to know I wasn’t a whole person.
I had gone to veterinary school and gotten my doctorate.
But I was nothing. I wasn’t like Zachary, with an innate way with animals.
He had bonded with Walter in less than an hour, which was beautiful, but I wasn’t like that.
Maybe Zachary should give my speech. He was a handsome guy, and nobody would know the difference.
Wait. I knew the perfect person. Angus could do it.
He loved it here, and he was so fucking sexy that all the men and women would want him.
I stood in front of Orlando for a long time, looking out across the land that mattered so much to me.
“Okay, buddy, Angus will be out here in a few more minutes. I wish you could talk; I’d make you get up there and talk.
” I knew he would give me time to work through my feelings.
He had learned to be there but give a little space, and I had been out here about ten minutes now.
“Okay, here is the deal, Orlando. We are going to convince him to be the face of the Sanctuary.” I was pretty sure Orlando looked skeptical.
“He loves me. He loves you. I know he will do it because I am going to blow this whole thing up.”
“You are right, I love this place almost as much as I love you.” His deep voice washed over me, soothing the jagged edges.
I turned around to see my beautiful man walking toward me.
Every time I saw him, I was surprised by how sexy he was.
With a casual confidence, he walked toward me, wearing a jacket over his T-shirt, with his hands in his pockets.
He wore jeans but was barefoot, and as soon as I saw him, I calmed.
He reached up and petted our friend. “What do you think about all this, buddy?”
“I’m going to screw this up. I can’t do this.”
He cupped my cheek. “If you really can’t do this, I will.
It’s not a question because, as far as I am concerned, this place is my future with you.
However, Second Chances Sanctuary and Rehabilitation is here because of you and your vision.
You found an area that needed this type of support and bought the land, establishing a place that the animals that live here need. ”
I gave him a tight-lipped smile. Then looked at Orlando, who was my best buddy and happened to be one of those animals.
There was a snuffling at the fence. Turning around, Annabelle was there looking at me, like she knew I needed her support at this moment.
She was the reason I started this. Each of them made me stronger, made me better, and I knew there would be many more opportunities to help.
“I will be right there with you. I’ll even stand on stage and hold your hand if you need, but for five minutes let them see why you do this.”
When I pulled him tight against me, I kissed the side of his head. “I’m scared.”
“I know. We’ll take Barnaby, Mom will be there, and so will I. You are an amazing man and have done something really special here. I won’t let them bite you, I promise. I’m the only one who gets that pleasure.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Let’s go back inside, and I’ll bite you in all the right places.”
We held hands and walked leisurely back to the fifth wheel. As we walked by the alpaca enclosure, we saw Walter lying down and Zachary leaning against him. “Come on, the net was wide open. Walter, can you believe this shit?” Came from across the pasture.
Angus and I looked at each other and smiled. “He fits in here fine.”
I motioned with my body. “I hope he doesn’t mind seeing his boss walk around in his underwear in the dark.”
“Honestly, I think this place makes him really happy. I am guessing he has a story. I’m glad he is here, where he can heal, because this is the happiest I’ve seen him in the eight months I have known him.”
I kissed Angus hard, then pulled him inside with me. “Now mark me as your own. I want to feel the bruises while I’m standing there schmoozing rich people.”
“When you put it that way.” He pushed me back to our bedroom, his mouth already on my shoulder, sucking hard.