Chapter 6
Lily
"What the..."
I winced as I opened my eyes, a sharp pain stabbing behind them. The sunlight streaming through the blinds felt like an assault, and my head pounded with every heartbeat.
"You're finally awake. I was almost sure you'd sleep all day."
I turned to find Jeremy standing in my bedroom doorway. He was dressed in a faded T-shirt and sweatpants. Clearly, he'd spent the night here.
Jeremy had been my brother's best friend growing up, and somehow, over the years, he'd become the person I called when things went wrong.
He took on the role of protective brother in my sibling's absence, and my father loves him like another son because of how well he has behaved toward my family.
He had always been there for us, a constant in a life where constants had become rare and precious.
"Here," he said, crossing the room to hand me a pill and a mug of tea. "For your hangover."
I took them gratefully, swallowing the pill and sipping the warm tea. Fragments of the previous night floated through my mind: getting dressed, deciding to go out alone, and walking into the bar, but after that, everything was blank.
"I don't remember much of what happened last night," I admitted, my voice rough. "When did you get here?"
Jeremy gave me a concerned look. "Honey, you called me from the bathroom of that disgusting bar you know I hate going to, crying for me to come get you. You couldn't even tell me what was wrong last night."
I stared at him, searching his face for signs that he was joking. Finding none, I began to feel embarrassed by my behavior. That didn't sound like me at all. I didn't call people crying. I didn't lose control.
But last night I needed an escape from my reality. To forget for a moment that I was Lily and just do something outside of who I really was. It's funny how alcohol works that way, breaking down the walls we spend years building, revealing the raw, unguarded self we keep hidden from the world.
"That doesn't... I don't remember that." I set the mug down and pressed my hands against my eyes. "The last thing I remember is walking into the bar. I wanted to dance, clear my head."
"Well, something happened between walking in and me finding you hiding in the women's restroom," Jeremy sat on the edge of my bed. "You were a mess, Lily. Mascara everywhere, hiccupping so hard you could barely talk. I practically had to carry you to the car."
"Did I... did I say anything? Why was I upset?"
Jer shook his head.
"I need to check my phone," I said, suddenly desperate to know if there were any clues there.
Jeremy reached over to my nightstand and handed me my phone. "Already charged it for you. You're welcome."
I scrolled through my messages and call history. Nothing unusual, just Jeremy answering a call from me at 11:42 PM. No texts from unknown numbers. No evidence of any interaction with anyone.
"Did you see anyone talking to me last night? Before you found me?" I asked, still scrolling through my phone as if the answers might materialize.
"Nope. The bathroom was my first stop. You sounded pretty urgent on the phone." He studied me for a moment. "Is there something you want to tell me, Lil? I've known you since we were kids, and I've only seen you like this once."
He didn't have to specify which moment he was referring to for me to know what he meant. We both suffered quite a bit during that period.
I thought about telling Jeremy everything, but I kept quiet.
I needed a day without thinking about anything at all, and that would be today.
If Jeremy knew Kyle was back, he'd lose control even more than I did.
Jeremy was impulsive, and he despises Kyle as much as I do for what he did to my brother.
"Just too many drinks on an empty stomach," I lied, forcing a smile. "You know how I get when I'm sleep-deprived and working too hard."
The thing about lies is they're easiest to tell when they contain a grain of truth. I was sleep-deprived. I was working too hard. I was trying to outrun thoughts that moved faster than I could. For that reason, what I just said was partly true.
Jeremy didn't look convinced, but he changed the topic right away: "Guess what? I ran into your sexy boss at the gym. When are you going to introduce me to him?"
"I already told you he is not into men," I laughed, glad for the sudden change of topic.
"Well, the way he sees himself in the mirror while training says otherwise. I made breakfast, by the way," he said, standing up. "Pancakes and sweet coffee, just the way you like it. Come down when you're ready."
I nodded, relieved at the change of subject. "Thanks, Jer. Really. For coming to get me and staying. I don't know what I would've done without you."
"What are honorary sisters for?" he said with a grin, heading for the door. "Besides, your couch is more comfortable than my bed, anyway."
After he left for my kitchen, I sat in the quiet of my room, trying once more to piece together the missing hours from the night before. But found nothing.
The rest of the day passed comfortably, just as I'd hoped. Jeremy stayed at my place, and when my dad heard Jeremy was home, he showed up with some food. Then the three of us went for a walk when I was feeling better.
But then, Jeremy and my dad left, and the anxiety I'd been keeping at bay began to creep back in. Tomorrow would be Monday. Tomorrow, I will be back at work. I couldn’t avoid him forever, but I was still not ready.