Chapter 7
My cousin Elif and I had always been close, especially as children.
Even though we’d spent a lot of time apart after my baba sent me to Italy to study architecture, I trusted her like a best friend.
That’s why, after waking up in that hotel with no memory of what happened and spending a week holed up in my room with no idea what to do, I ran to tell Elif everything.
The night seemed peaceful, but I arrived at my cousin’s house completely disoriented, overwhelmed by shame and desperation.
We sat on the veranda of my aunt and uncle’s house with our cups of hot tea while the city lights sparkled below us.
The cool breeze was comforting, and I knew I needed to tell her everything that had happened that confusing night.
“Elif, I need to tell you something…” I said with a hesitant sigh. “Something that happened to me last week.”
“What happened, Eda?” she asked, her voice full of concern. “You seem so upset.”
“I was at a bar, crying my eyes out, you know… because of the fight I had with my father about my arranged marriage to Yusuf.” I looked down, embarrassed. “And then I met this really handsome guy who offered to listen and help. Actually, he was the bartender.”
“A bartender?” she said, surprised. “Go on, Eda.”
“It’s not like me to do this, but I drank too much, Elif, and things got kind of blurry after that…” I said, nerves taking over. “The last thing I remember is us talking at the bar, him saying it was closing time, and then… I woke up in a hotel room to the sound of him taking a shower.”
Elif frowned, clearly troubled by what I was telling her.
“I don’t remember anything except flashes from that night, Elif,” I concluded, tears welling up in my eyes. “And the worst part is… I think… I lost my virginity to him, but I’m not sure. And if it’s true, my baba is going to kill me.”
My cousin set her teacup aside, placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, then took my hands and looked directly into my eyes.
“Eda, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
You must be feeling so confused and scared.
” She seemed shocked by my story, but still tried to calm me down.
“Everything will be okay, even though it was reckless to go off with a stranger. Being who you are, you need to be careful about who you spend time with.” She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
“First, you need to see a gynecologist to find out if something intimate actually happened between you two,” she said gently.
“This is really important. If you want, I can make an appointment with my doctor and go with you for support.”
I nodded, still shaken.
“I know, Elif. But that’s not all,” I continued, my voice heavy with sadness. “I’m so confused, lost, and scared. I don’t even know his name or what he did to me, because I don’t remember anything.”
“Let’s take this one step at a time, Eda. We’ll figure everything out together,” she said calmly. “First, let’s take care of your health, find out if you really lost your virginity, and if so, get an STD test. Then we can try to understand this situation and look for information about this man.”
I nodded, grateful for my cousin’s advice.
“You’re right. Can you schedule the appointment with your doctor as soon as possible? Even though I’m scared, I’m going to face the truth about what happened.” I sighed deeply. “Thank you, Elif.” I felt so grateful to have her by my side. “You’re the only person I can trust in this situation.”
“I’ll always be here for you, cousin. We’ll get through this together. You’re not alone in this.” She gave me a supportive smile. “And to help take your mind off things and relax a little, how about we go to a party tomorrow night? It’ll be a great way to clear your head.”
I thought about Elif’s suggestion for a moment. I was still shaken by what had happened, but eventually I accepted my cousin’s invitation.
“That’s a wonderful idea, Elif!” I replied enthusiastically. “Maybe a night of music, fun, and laughter is exactly what I need to forget all this for a while.”
After talking with her, I felt a little better.
I still didn’t know what was going to happen to me, and my mind was still swimming with confusion and anxiety, but having my cousin by my side was a huge comfort and gave me hope that together we’d face whatever challenges lay ahead.
Meanwhile, I kept trying to piece together what really happened that night with the bartender.