4
The HEA
Charlie couldn’t move.
He couldn’t move—but also, he was shaking. Something he realized when large, careful hands closed around his and took his cell phone away before it could do something dramatic like fly over the railing and into the ocean.
“Charlie,“
Tanner said, a tightness to his tone that Charlie had never heard before.
Charlie’s vision blurred, and tears seared their way down his cheeks. He tried to respond but only managed a broken noise. He clutched at Tanner’s hand instead, needing him to stay. To not go. Not before Charlie had a chance to explain. To fix this. To offer Tanner anything if he would just give Charlie another chance.
“Sweetheart,“
Tanner said, and this time he sounded a little broken himself. The next thing Charlie knew, he was wrapped up tightly. Tanner’s strong arms caged him in, one hand cupping the back of his head and pressing him to the space between Tanner’s neck and shoulder. “Please, don’t cry.”
Charlie shook his head, smearing his tears against warm skin. “I’m sorry,“
he managed when he finally found his words again.
“No.“
Tanner’s arms tightened almost painfully, and Charlie reveled in it. He wanted Tanner to hold him until they melded together. He tried to make that happen by wrapping his arms around Tanner and clutching the back of his shirt until his fingers ached. “No,” he repeated. “I’m the one who fucked up. Not you.”
Charlie arched up and caught Tanner’s lips in a kiss, deepening it immediately, desperately. He needed to feel Tanner, taste him. If it wouldn’t get them both in trouble, he’d beg Tanner to fuck him up against the deck railing right now.
If Tanner was surprised by the aggression, he didn’t let it show. He kissed back just as eagerly, one hand twisting in Charlie’s hair as he pressed him back against the railing. Eventually, he used that hold to tug Charlie away enough for him to speak. “Unless you want to get us kicked off this cruise ship,“
he said, voice gone deep and rough, “and explain to your friends why, we need to move this somewhere more private.”
Charlie hated that he was right, but he heaved a sigh and reluctantly disentangled himself as Tanner put space between them. “We should probably talk first,“
he said, tone regretful as his eyes searched Tanner’s face for a hint of what was to come. It was a good sign that Tanner kissed him, right? It had to be. He wouldn’t follow Charlie all the way to Cabo and sneak onto a cruise ship just to break things off. That would be crazy. Though, Charlie did have to ask… “How are you even here?”
Tanner flashed a crooked grin. “You have some very well-connected friends.“
At Charlie’s confused frown, he continued. “Want to tell me how you know Remy Dalton?”
Charlie blinked at him. “He’s friends with Finn.”
Tanner shook his head, bemused. “I’m pretty sure he’s your friend too, at this point. No stranger would track me down to give me a piece of his mind and end up putting me on a plane to Cabo instead.”
Charlie gaped at him. “He did what?”
Tanner’s hand drifted from Charlie’s hair to the back of his neck. He gave a gentle squeeze that threatened to send Charlie’s brain offline again. “By the way, I fired my agent.”
Charlie was struggling to keep ahold of the plot. “But, you said you were finally getting auditions thanks to him.”
“He told me you were a distraction.“
Tanner’s brow furrowed and his jaw flexed. “And, like a fucking idiot, I believed him.”
Charlie shook his head. “You need an agent, Tanner. Don’t—you can’t fuck over your career because of me.“
God, that would be a disaster. Charlie would never get over the guilt, and Tanner would end up resenting him. Hating him. “That’s crazy. We aren’t even together.”
Tanner’s eyes flashed. Charlie found himself shoved against the railing again, his mouth stinging from the force of Tanner’s kiss. He clung to Tanner’s shoulders and did his best to keep up. When the kiss finally slowed and broke, Tanner stayed close, his eyes closed and his forehead pressed to Charlie’s. “That’s unfortunate,“
he said. “Because I fucking love you.”
Whatever Charlie meant to say next got choked off as his throat closed. “Oh my god,“
he forced out instead, tears flooding his eyes yet again. Was he ever going to stop crying? “I love you too.” He closed the distance between them, catching Tanner’s mouth in a shaky, salty kiss. Tanner returned it fervently until, after a minute, they had to break apart because they were both grinning too hard.
Tanner pulled back, laughing a little, his eyes equally wet. His thumbs wiped moisture from under Charlie’s eyes, and Charlie reached out to do the same. He could probably drown in Tanner’s eyes—eyes that matched the ocean beneath them—and if he did, he would be perfectly fine with that.
Nearby, someone started clapping, then a few more people joined in. Charlie startled, his skin heating at the attention they’d apparently gathered with their display.
Tanner, the consummate performer, took Charlie’s hand and sketched a little bow. “Smile, sweetheart,“
he teased. “Just in case we go viral.”
That’s when Charlie noticed the number of cell phones also pointed their way. Fantastic. He groaned, then started to laugh. Well, it could be worse. At least neither of them were famous.
They ended up staying to watch the sunset.
Later, once they retreated to their room, cleaned up, got reacquainted, and cleaned up again, they asked Jomar to send up a late dinner. They ate on the balcony, taking in the view. Cabo San Lucas from the water was breathtaking. The light dotted the hills surrounding the port and reflected off the water, making the entire bay glow like the stars were both above and below them.
After, they stretched out together on one of the loungers, Charlie’s head on Tanner’s chest, Tanner’s arms keeping him close, and they talked. Finally, really talked about what they felt, the questions they still had, and what they wanted from the future. Charlie cried again. Tanner did too, though he claimed it was the salt air making his eyes water. In the end, they committed to making this work. There would obviously still be times they argued, or weren’t on the same page about something. Tanner promised he would do his best to communicate rather than deflect when things got hard. Charlie promised he would face his fears and asks for what he needed instead of expecting Tanner to read his mind. It wasn’t perfect, but as they say, they were both works in progress.
Charlie fell asleep under the stars with Tanner wrapped around him and woke to the sun and voices coming from inside. They were under a blanket that Tanner had retrieved when it got cold. Charlie nuzzled closer and felt Tanner drop a kiss to the top of his head. “Morning,“
he mumbled.
“Good morning,“
Tanner replied, a smile in his voice. “Your friends are back.”
Charlie rubbed the sleep from his eyes and pushed himself upright on the lounger. Inside, Jomar was laying out breakfast on the dining table. Xavier and Gabe were drinking coffee next to the minibar, and Finn was coming down the steps from the loft, trailed by Ev.
Tanner sat up and wrapped his arms around Charlie’s waist in a hug, creating a line of heat against Charlie’s back. He dropped a kiss to Charlie’s neck. “Are you going to introduce me?”
Charlie huffed a laugh. “Yeah. Come on.“
He got to his feet, pulling Tanner up with him, and led him inside. “Hey, guys,” he said, feeling a little flushed and awkward when everyone, including Jomar, paused to look at him. “This is Tanner.”
Tanner stopped behind him and put his hands on Charlie’s hips, chin hooked over his shoulder. “Morning.”
The group returned his greeting, even as they exchanged glances that ranged from pleased to satisfied.
“So, you all knew about this?“
Charlie had to ask.
Finn and Ev seemed like they weren’t sure how to respond, but Xavier and Gabe were clearly in on whatever Remy had arranged.
“Why do you think we pushed so hard to get you off the ship?“
Xavier asked. “We made it work, but it would have involved fewer people if I didn’t have to get that one added to the passenger manifest at the last minute,” he said with a good-natured chuckle and a gesture at Tanner.
Charlie winced, but Xavier waved off his apology.
“I’m just glad you took to my suggestion about the sunset bar,“
Gabe cut in with a satisfied smirk. “Otherwise, things could have gotten tricky. We were a little distracted with Finn’s birthday celebration, but we would have made it work.”
Oh. In all the excitement, Charlie had completely forgotten. “Happy birthday, Finn,“
he said. “How was your dinner?” He blinked a few times as Finn flushed inexplicably pink and a shy smile spread across his face.
“Really, really good,“
Finn replied. Then help up his left hand, displaying the sparkling ring adorning it.
“Holy shit,“
Charlie exclaimed as happiness flooded him. “Congrats, man. That’s amazing.” He crossed the room to wrap Finn in a hug and get a closer look at the ring. It was actually two rings combined, Finn explained. The X-shaped diamond-studded one that Xavier had given him soon after they started dating—that Finn had previously worn on his right hand—fit together with a thicker, V-shaped band with a row of flat-cut diamonds along the length of it.
After another round of congratulations to both Finn and Xavier, and a round of ribbing from Ev and Gabe over their surprise guest, Charlie and Tanner joined the others for breakfast.
Tanner ate with one hand on Charlie’s thigh, thumb rubbing circles while he kept up with the conversation happening around them. He thanked Xavier and Gabe for their help in getting him on board the ship. He joked that he would have stowed away if he needed to, but the Rainbow Suite was definitely preferable to hiding in a storage closet.
Charlie watched him charm the room, his heart overflowing. How the hell did he get this lucky?
Tanner leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Eat up, sweetheart. I hear there are couples activities planned for later, and you’re going to need your energy.“
He gave a saucy wink that made Charlie laugh and shove him back into his own seat.
“Not those kinds of activities, you asshole,“
Charlie shot back.
Tanner just grinned, ocean-blue eyes sparkling in the sun off the water. “You never know.”
About Rory Maxwell
Rory Maxwell (she/her) discovered romance novels on her mom’s bookshelf when she was probably too young to be reading them—the reward for being a nosy kid with great reading comprehension. The magic of a dial-up internet connection led her to the wonderful world of MM fanfiction a few years later and she fell in love with the genre. In 2019 she woke up with a plot bunny, opened a word doc, and started trying to figure out how this writing stuff worked.
Rory grew up outside of Washington, DC, moved away, and then came back for reasons she doesn’t fully understand. An artist and writer, she always has too many exciting ideas and not nearly enough free time. One day, she hopes to escape to the mountains where she can work from home and write as much as she wants. In the meantime, she splits her time between her day job and writing MM romance with endearing characters, lots of feels, plenty of heat, and a dash of kink.
Books: amazon.com/stores/Rory-Maxwell/author/B0B8XNFK5G
Newsletter: rorymaxwellwrites.com/newsletter
Links: linktr.ee/rorymaxwellwrites
The Ocean Cannot Deny the Moon
Kim Fielding
Willis Pataki has screwed things up. Jobless, broke, lonely, and sunburned, he’s enduring a cruise he shouldn’t have booked. Then, after far too many mojitos, Will hears a beautiful, mournful song… and meets handsome and charming Nereus. Their connection is immediate and intense. But following that connection will come at a high price, and Will has already made so many bad decisions. What is the right choice now?
Willis Pataki stared into the wine-dark sea and regretted his life choices.
Not all of them. For example, he was pretty damned happy he’d chosen the drinks package, which meant he could have as much booze as he wanted and not worry about the cost. The mojito currently clutched in one hand was his seventh of the day. Okay, maybe the eighth. He didn’t regret that either, and once he polished it off and went in search of number nine, well, that would be okey-dokey too.
Assuming any of the bars were still open. And that he could find his way without toppling over.
Maybe the best thing to do was finish the drink he already had and then spend some time right where he was: leaning against the railing, gazing down at the Pacific, and mentally replaying his list of the Top Ten Pataki Screw-Ups.
Honestly, though, it was hard to concentrate with that music. It wasn’t the band from the pool deck; it was late now, and they’d thrown in the towel long ago. They always played upbeat danceable tunes including, God help him, “Macarena.“
This song was slow and mournful, able to catch at hearts, wrap around them, and squeeze like a kraken’s tentacles.
Now that he paid more attention, it wasn’t a band at all. It was a single voice, a gorgeous tenor, singing a cappella in a language that wasn’t English. Perhaps it was a performer at one of the bars, a cozy spot tucked away in a corner of the ship he hadn’t yet explored. Possibly a place where he could get one more mojito.
Will finished his drink, picked a piece of mint leaf off his tongue, and worried over where to put the glass. He could leave it on one of the little deck tables; undoubtedly one of the efficient crew members would take it. They seemed to have a magical ability to find and whisk away empties almost immediately.
But the deck was so tidy right now, with all the lounge chairs secured for the night, the walkways scrubbed, and aside from Will, not a single drunken passenger in sight. He hesitated to cause even a little disorder here. He’d already brought plenty into his own life.
So, clutching the glass, he strode toward the singing. Well no, he weaved and staggered toward the singing, as if the ship were battling the mighty waves of a typhoon. In actuality, aside from the ship’s wake, the ocean was as placid as a breeze-kissed lake.
He came to a fairly narrow curved walkway near the bow, between the ship’s railing and the exterior wall of the fitness center, and there was the singer. No bar. No other people. Just a single man standing in a poorly-lit area, facing the water and singing his heart out. And wearing, as far as Will could tell in the darkness, very little.
Not wanting to interrupt whatever the hell this was, Will started to back away… and promptly tripped over his own feet and fell on his ass, sending the mojito glass rolling across the deck. When he tried to stand up, he only managed to get further tangled up in his own body. He’d pretty much decided to simply crawl away when strong hands grasped his upper arms.
“Are you hurt?“
Even when not singing, the voice was rich and melodic.
“Just my dignity,“
Will mumbled. He allowed the man to help him to his feet, and even then, the guy had to steady him to keep him from overbalancing.
“Please, sit for a moment.“
The man guided him to a nearby table that Will hadn’t even noticed and helped him into one of the chairs. Then he hurried over to fetch the wayward glass, which thankfully hadn’t broken. He set it on the table in front of Will, perhaps as evidence of the drunken tumble.
But when the man took the chair opposite, he didn’t look judgmental. In fact, he was smiling broadly, his very white teeth catching a bit of light. His eyes gleamed too, big and bright, but Will couldn’t make out many other details. Shoulder-length hair, wavy and possibly wet. Broad bare shoulders.
“Are you certain you are not injured?“
The man had an accent, although Will couldn’t place it.
“I’m fine. Sorry I interrupted you.”
The man reached over the table to pat Will’s hand. “Please do not trouble yourself over it.”
“It was a beautiful song.”
That seemed to please the man. “A mournful sailor far at sea doubts that he will ever again see his love. It is a fado song. Do you know this genre?”
Some of the alcohol seemed to have burned off in the fall, but still Will struggled to maintain a coherent conversation. Something about this man discombobulated him. “Uh, I think I’ve heard of it. Portuguese blues?”
The man chuckled. “Something like that, yes. Music of sorrow and yearning sung by sailors and their wives and by the poor. I like it very much.”
“Are you Portuguese?”
Another soft laugh that played against Will’s ears like silk blankets across naked skin. “No. I am from there.“
The man pointed out to sea.
“Puerto Vallarta?“
Will didn’t think the accent was Spanish, but he could be mistaken. Or maybe the man’s native language was an indigenous one.
But the man shook his head and clasped Will’s hand in his. “Please call me Nereus. Who are you?”
Nobody, Will almost said. Instead, he shrugged. “Willis Pataki. Uh, Will. I’m from Sacramento. Are you one of the shipboard entertainers?“
Even though he really couldn’t see much, he was suddenly hyperaware of Nereus’s bare torso. That he appeared to have strong arms. And that he smelled delicious—with hints of flowers and coconuts and salt, like the breeze on a tropical island. And he was still holding Will’s hand.
“I am not in the employ of the cruise company,“
Nereus answered. “But I hope you find me entertaining.”
Sexy men—and Nereus was sexy, even in the dark—didn’t suddenly appear late at night, complete with serenades and over-the-top flirting. If Will had been sober, he would have found this entire encounter deeply weird.
Luckily, Will wasn’t sober.
“Why were you singing fado all alone late at night?”
“Singing is in my nature and the words were in my heart. Perhaps I hoped a handsome man with similar sentiments would find me.”
Will’s heart did a little fluttery thing and his cheeks flushed hot, making him thankful for the darkness. He wasn’t usually the swooning type, especially when someone flirted so blatantly. No doubt the mojitos were to blame, along with the sea air. He cleared his throat. “Why are you feeling sorrow and yearning? Is everything okay?”
Nereus paused briefly before answering. “Thank you for asking this. People rarely do. They hear their own echoes in my voice and they turn inward.“
He squeezed Will’s hand. “Tonight I am lonely and feeling mournful for my lost beloved.”
Feeling shitty for his own self-pity, Will squeezed back. “I’m sorry. I hope you have a lot of happy memories together.”
“Yes, thank you. He was quite special. I left my home for him and lived a very different existence, but I have never once regretted it. But you, my friend. Why are you drinking alone and feeling sorrowful?”
“Oh, you don’t want to hear—”
“I very much do. But wait one moment please.“
Nereus released Will’s hand, stood, and hurried around the curved wall, quickly disappearing from sight. Will sat, evaluating whether he could make it back to his stateroom without getting lost or having another fall, but before he could reach a decision Nereus appeared and retook his seat. He plopped a bottle of water on the table in front of Will. “You should drink this. It will flush away some of the toxins.”
Although Will wasn’t thirsty, he figured that Nereus was right, so he uncapped the bottle and took a swig. It was cold, but not enough to give him a headache. “Thank you.”
“Now please, tell me why you are sad. You may feel better if you do.”
“Nobody died or anything. It’s just a lot of stupid shit.”
“A person denying his emotions is like the ocean denying the moon. The tides will happen nonetheless.”
Will couldn’t help chuckling at the analogy. And honestly, he sort of wanted to spill his guts to this guy. None of his friends would want to hear this, and he couldn’t afford a therapist. Gut-spilling was a little healthier than becoming blackout drunk, but it wasn’t easy to do, even in the dark. He grabbed the water bottle and shuffled to the railing, facing the ocean without focusing his gaze on anything. He was relieved when Nereus came to stand close beside him.
“Bad decisions,“
Will said, not turning his head. “So many. I’ll tell you just the more recent ones. I stayed in a relationship with someone longer than I should have. When he got a new job in Sacramento—we used to live in Chicago—I quit my job and moved with him. I couldn’t find a new job. Then we broke up. I spent Christmas with my family even though we’re barely on speaking terms and they support politicians who don’t want me to exist. I let my friends talk me into booking this cruise with them even though I’m still unemployed and absolutely can’t afford it, and I had no idea how third-wheelish I’d feel tagging along with a couple. During our at-sea day yesterday I fell asleep on my balcony and got a really bad sunburn. And tonight I neglected to snag another mojito before the bars closed.” Will inhaled deeply and let it out as a sigh.
Remaining silent, Nereus draped an arm around Will’s waist. He was gentle about it, perhaps keeping in mind the sunburn. Will, who wanted to melt against this near stranger, sipped from his water bottle and wondered how much aspirin he could safely take once he was back in his stateroom.
“Told you it was stupid,“
he finally murmured.
“It was not.”
“Thanks for listening.”
“May I kiss you, Willis Pataki?”
This whole thing was still… weird. But Nereus sounded so old-fashioned and courtly, like a character in a Jane Austen novel—although they rarely wandered around nearly naked—and Will desperately wanted a kiss from him. Maybe it would be another of his bad decisions, but he didn’t think so. “Yes, please,“
he answered politely.
Nereus gathered him into his arms. They were nearly the same height, although Nereus was more muscular. Also, Will realized, Nereus’s legs were bare; he wore nothing except a pair of extremely minimal swim trunks. Will, in his nerdy cargo shorts and T-shirt, felt overdressed. And he still awkwardly held the water bottle.
Despite all that, the embrace felt natural. Familiar, almost, as if Will had previously dreamed about it. And Nereus didn’t manhandle or grope—although Will wouldn’t have objected—instead he pressed his lips to Will’s in a manner that was only a small step past chaste. No tongue. Yet it set Will on fire, pushing out all rational thought as he exquisitely burned without being consumed, an eternal flame of want.
Nereus gently separated them. And maybe he was affected too, because he uttered a long, shuddering sigh and muttered something that was probably in another language. “Thank you,“
Nereus said, as if Will had done him a big favor.
“Would you like to come to my room?“
Will was almost forty now, and he hadn’t picked up a random guy for a quick tumble since he was in his twenties. He was definitely willing to make an exception for this man, however. He could still barely breathe, and beneath his clothing, his skin felt as if it were scorching.
“I would like to, but I cannot.”
“You have someone else? A vow of chastity? Do you—”
Nereus stroked Will’s cheek. “There is nobody else. But….“
He looked away, his thumb still brushing against Will. And then he laughed, so sadly that Will wanted to burst into tears. “There is a complication, you see.”
“I don’t see.“
Will was aware he sounded petulant, but he’d never wanted anyone or anything as much as he wanted Nereus. Knowing that he was stupid to feel this way didn’t help. It was as Nereus said: the ocean can’t deny the moon.
“All right,“
said Nereus after a long pause. “Then I shall show you. But we must move where there is more light. I do not want you to later think this was just a trick of the darkness.” He took Will’s hand and gently tugged him aft.
They walked slowly, which gave Will time to wonder what the hell was going on. Did Nereus have scars or disfigurements that he believed would be a turn-off for Will? Because Will didn’t care what he looked like. God, he could taste salt on his lips from Nereus’s kiss, and that alone was enough to make him swoon.
Soon they arrived midship, where the empty walkway was wide, brightly illuminated, and bounded by a high railing on the right and left sides. On one side was the Pacific Ocean, about nine decks below. On the other was the pool deck, which although crammed with vacationers during the day, was now occupied only by two uniformed crew members sleepily mopping the floor.
Still holding Will’s hand, Nereus stopped. Will turned to get his first good look and discovered that Nereus was indeed handsome. He had strong features on a beardless face, with eyes the blue-green of sunlit surf and skin the light brown of damp sand. His hair, thick and curly, was dyed deep green. His body was hairless, well-muscled, and without tattoos. He wore the tiniest swim briefs imaginable, the turquoise print iridescent like fish scales.
“Um,“
began Will, his throat dry. He remembered he had a water bottle and released Nereus’s hand so he could uncap it and take a gulp. “You mentioned a complication?”
With a soft laugh, Nereus backed away until he hit the oceanside railing. “People speak of a couple having chemistry, yes? But for my folk, it is not simply a metaphor. When two of us meet and are an appropriate match, our bodies respond to each other in a fierce reaction. I felt this with you. Perhaps you felt it as well?”
Will nodded. “Your folk?“
he asked, bewildered.
“Most often we respond this way only to our own kind. But on occasion, we respond to your kind. I suspect this happens because some of you have an ancestor who was one of us.”
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.“
That was… not entirely true. Deep in his heart, Will knew what Nereus was getting at, even though it was the most ridiculous thought he’d had tonight. Or any night, for that matter.
Nereus’s smile held both sorrow and affection. “There are possibilities. But they are very difficult. I would not wish for you to make any more decisions that you will regret.”
“Okay. But will you at least clarify what my options are? I’m literally at sea here.”
That brought a laugh from Nereus. “Fair enough. In a moment, watch what I show you. Then, if you still wish to speak with me again, meet me tomorrow at midnight, at the spot where we first met.”
What will he show me? Was Nereus into exhibitionism or some other kink? Or maybe he was going to give some sort of performance, although Will couldn’t imagine what.
Before Will could ask, Nereus hopped back and up, impossibly high, to sit atop the oceanside railing. Though he still faced Will, his ass hung ninety feet or so above the water.
Will shouted in surprise and fear. “Oh God, don’t jump! You can’t—”
“I assure you, I will be unharmed. Just watch. Please.”
Will couldn’t do anything else, frozen as he was with terror. If he screamed for help, Nereus would be in the ocean long before any crew members could arrive, and the screaming itself might trigger Nereus to jump or fall.
For a moment or two, Nereus simply sat. He looked serene, as unruffled as if he were sitting on a living room couch. Then he twitched his shoulders and waved his legs… which weren’t legs anymore. They were fused together into a tail with big, glittery scales and a wide fin at the end. Nereus kicked forward slightly with his tail and then was still, waiting for Will’s response.
Which wasn’t shock. Because Will had already known that this was going to happen, even if he hadn’t acknowledged that. “You’re a mermaid.“
A statement, not a question.
Nereus snorted. “Merman. That is not what we call ourselves, of course, but your term will do.”
“You’re real.”
“As real as you are.“
Nereus cocked his head. “Would you like to touch?” He moved his tail again, just a bit.
Without hesitation, Will strode forward and set a hand approximately where Nereus’s knee had been. The tail was warm and fleshy, its surface smooth and almost silky. It was clearly very much a part of Nereus’s body.
Will’s fear had fled, as had much of his confusion, and now the weirdest thing happened. He experienced a powerful yearning, as if he’d been holding his breath and was desperate for oxygen. He wanted a tail. He wanted Nereus. He wanted to be like Nereus.
“I’m not a good swimmer,“
he whispered hopelessly.
Nereus lifted Will’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Tomorrow at midnight,“
he said. Then he squirmed around, pushed off from the railing, and plummeted.
Will didn’t hear him enter the water, and he saw only a tiny splash. But a few seconds later, something small and dark bobbed to the surface not far from the hull, almost invisible against the dark water. A hand appeared and waved a few times. Then there was another tiny splash, a glimpse of a tail fin, and… nothing but ocean.
For several minutes Will stood at the railing, looking out to sea, feeling both shocked and bereft. When someone tapped his shoulder, he spun around and emitted a choked cry before realizing it was a uniformed crew member.
“Are you all right, sir?“
Under the RNJ Cruises logo, the man’s tag said his name was Alon and he was from the Philippines.
Will felt dazed and tried to gather his thoughts, but all he could come up with was a summary statement. “A guy went overboard.“
He didn’t want to betray Nereus, but he also knew that cruise ships had sensors and cameras to alert when people jumped or fell off.
Alon’s eyes widened. “Are you certain, sir? There has been no alarm.”
Will didn’t know what to make of this. “I… I think so.”
Looking skeptical, Alon backed away slightly and spoke quietly into his phone. Within minutes, several other crew members swarmed the area. The one who seemed to be in charge, a tall, older woman whose tag said she was from Italy, questioned Will about what he’d seen. He explained as best as he could, minus any mention of a tail. She conferred briefly with her colleagues before returning to Will.
“Mr. Pataki, we have reviewed your records for today, and it appears that you have consumed a large number of alcoholic beverages.”
“Yes, but—”
“Also we have reviewed our camera footage from this area, and you did not speak to anyone else. Also we did not record anyone falling or jumping from the ship.“
She spoke calmly but firmly, the way a teacher might talk to a naughty young child on the verge of a tantrum.
Will took a shuddery breath. “He was here.”
“Sometimes people find sea travel disorienting, particularly at night. Perhaps you fell asleep and dreamed this. We appreciate you alerting us to what you thought was an emergency. Would you perhaps like me to accompany you to your stateroom?”
For a wild moment, Will thought she was trying to pick him up. But then he understood that, in reality, she thought he was too wasted or too crazy to return safely to his room. He shook his head. “No. Thanks. I’m… I’ll be fine.”
“Very well. Do you know where our medical facility is, should you find yourself in need?”
He didn’t, but he nodded anyway. Then he gave an embarrassed little wave to Alon and the other crew members and headed for the nearest elevators.
Rob spoke very slowly. “You. Met. A. Mermaid.”
Will shook his head and looked away, toward the buffet. “Merman,“
he mumbled.
Rob and Justin, seated across the table from him, were silent for a few moments. A long line had formed at the omelet station, and across from that a tiny elderly woman was assembling a towering sculpture of cut melon and pineapple. Will poked a fork at the strips of bacon on his plate, but he wasn’t really hungry. Interestingly, he also wasn’t hungover.
Finally Justin spoke, again slowly. “Babe. Mermen don’t exist.”
“He did.”
Now Rob and Justin exchanged glances. Although they hadn’t particularly resembled each other when they started dating five years ago, time and proximity had worked some kind of magic so that now they looked like brothers: same light-brown hair (possibly dyed) carefully cut to camouflage any incipient bald spots. Same well-groomed mustaches and beards and well-shaped eyebrows. Same tanned faces, glowing from the same skin-care regimen. Same trim builds. They shared a wardrobe. Will imagined that in another few years they’d be twins or clones, two copies of the same gracefully aging man.
“You drank a lot last night,“
Justin offered. “And that was just at dinner and the show afterward. I don’t know how much you had after that.”
“I wasn’t hallucinating.”
“Did you take Dramamine? That makes me really woozy, and maybe if you combine it with booze….”
Will pushed his plate away. “I didn’t take Dramamine.“
And yes, he had been pretty tipsy, but he’d sobered up quickly after Nereus appeared.
On the other hand, meeting a mythical creature? Saying that out loud emphasized how crazy it was. Plus, last night the crew members had all assured him that nobody had jumped or fallen overboard. Surely all of their high-tech gadgets couldn’t be mistaken.
He sighed and took a sip of the crappy buffet coffee. Pretty soon he’d make a foray to the café on Deck 5, which served the good stuff.
A smiling crew member cleared away all of their plates, except for Rob’s yogurt–granola–berry concoction, on which he maintained a death grip. The buffet staff was incredibly efficient about table-clearing, especially during the hectic morning rush. They were more laid back late at night, when far fewer people stopped in for snacks or, in some cases, a second dinner. In fact, during the first two nights of the cruise, Will had found the late-night buffet to be a wonderfully quiet spot to visit. Now, though, it was crowded and noisy, and people wandered by with dishes in their hands, eyeing the table hopefully.
Justin stood up suddenly. “C’mon, let’s go ashore. I want to walk around Zona Romántica. And look at Elizabeth Taylor’s house.”
“She doesn’t live there anymore,“
Will pointed out, slightly catty.
Justin ignored him, which was fair enough. “Also, I heard there’s an old lighthouse and you can climb to the top for an amazing view.“
He bounced on his toes. “Let’s go. Rob, you can eat stuff on shore.”
Rob took one more bite of yogurt and then he stood too. “If we eat on shore, we have to pay for it. It’s free on the boat.”
“That’s not fun.“
Justin poked him. Then he turned to Will. “Ready?”
Will remained seated. “You guys enjoy yourselves. I’m going to stay on the ship today.”
“But you’ll miss Puerto Vallarta!“
Justin looked genuinely distressed by the idea, which was sweet. “I promise you, we want you to come with us. We like you.”
Rob added, “And don’t worry about expenses. Our treat today.”
Also very sweet, and Will smiled at them. “Thank you. I appreciate it. But I think I need to take it easy today. I’ll probably hang out near the pool—in the shade—and relax. Maybe I’ll even head to the spa for a massage or something. I bet nothing will be crowded while we’re in port.”
His friends looked disappointed but not shattered. They’d be perfectly happy exploring on their own. After a few more words and a promise to meet up tonight after the ship sailed, they headed toward the aft elevators.
Will didn’t want to hog a table, so after a brief pause he got up too, moving to the pool deck, where he intentionally did not look up at the spot where he’d stood with Nereus. As he’d suspected, the deck was nearly deserted this morning, with only a handful of die-hards sprawled on lounge chairs. Mindful of his peeling sunburn, Will spent some time in the shade, gazing toward land—was that a Walmart?—and contemplating the day’s agenda.
“The hell with it,“
he whispered. “I’m going to take a nap.”
His stateroom on Deck 10 wasn’t huge, but it was plenty big enough for a solo traveler. Justin and Rob had something called a mini-suite, which meant their room was bigger and had a couch and two televisions. They’d complained about the storage, however. Because despite sharing clothes, they’d packed enough for at least three people, and each blamed the other for the excess.
The steward had serviced the room while Will was at breakfast, so everything was tidy and clean. The buffet staff was efficient, but James the steward was apparently a minor wizard with the ability to whisk in as soon as Will vacated the room and be long gone before Will reappeared. Will wondered whether James ever got any sleep, and whether he was as happy with his job as he let on. He’d said he had a wife and kids in Indonesia and had to go months at a time without seeing them, but hopefully he earned enough to make the absences worthwhile.
Anyway, Will was loath to sit on the bed now that it was so neatly made up, and the only other place to sit—the desk chair—wasn’t especially comfortable. That left the balcony, but it lay directly in the sun; he’d already learned that lesson.
Fine. There were plenty of places to hang out on the ship.
He ended up wandering aimlessly for over an hour. The shops and casino were closed, not that he had the money for either anyway, but he got a cup of that good coffee at the café, which improved his mood slightly. He went back up to the buffet to grab an apple, which he ate in a covered spot near the pool.
In the abstract, his day was very pleasant. The temperature was perfect, with a slight breeze to offset the warmth. He had easy access to all the food and drink he could possibly want, not to mention exercise facilities, a couple of pools, and a hot tub. There were endless movies he could watch if he chose, and countless songs to listen to. He had a very comfortable place to sleep. And he had basically no responsibilities: no job, no close family, not even a pet goldfish. Millions of people across the globe couldn’t even dream of such blessings.
In practice, however, Will couldn’t bring himself to appreciate any of this. He was too full of regrets, too sad about where he was in life, too frightened and uncertain about where he was going to go. He felt as if he’d once walked a broad, brightly-illuminated route, but every bad decision had dimmed the lights and narrowed the path, and now he was very close to dead-ending in complete darkness.
“Oh, get over yourself,“
he muttered savagely. He stomped back to his room, changed into workout clothes, and then stomped over to the fitness center for a fiercely productive session on an elliptical machine. Good and sweaty, he returned to his room for a quick shower. Then it occurred to him that he might as well take advantage of other shipboard amenities while they weren’t crowded, so he switched to swim trunks and a tee and took the elevator back up to the pool deck.
At first he planned to go in the pool but then had second thoughts. He was a terrible swimmer. During a family vacation when he was six years old, his father had thrown him into the deep end of the hotel pool. Good old Dad hadn’t genuinely wanted to drown him—probably—but had labored under the impression that Will would, out of a sense of self-preservation, figure out what to do. Will hadn’t. He’d flailed around desperately and gone under twice before his mother jumped in and fished him out. After that, he’d been signed up for swimming lessons, but he’d stubbornly refused to put much effort into them. Another bad choice to add to his list.
He took off his shirt and shoes and settled into one of the hot tubs. It was otherwise unoccupied, which spared him from having to make conversation with a retired straight couple from Phoenix or a quartet of twenty-something women celebrating someone’s birthday. Also, it was in the shade. He could simply lean back, close his eyes, and attempt to ignore the obnoxiously chirpy music being piped through the sound system. He was thankful his sunburn had lessened enough that soaking wasn’t painful.
Maybe this would be a good opportunity to brainstorm what he could do with himself after the cruise. Regrettably, he had too many years and not enough hotness to find himself a sugar daddy, so that was out. How about playing the lottery until he hit the Megabucks jackpot? He could learn to bake or knit or give fashion advice, then record videos and become a famous influencer. Stake a mining claim and discover gold. Create his own cryptocurrency. Form a hit-making band. Run away and join the circus.
“It is not wise to fall asleep in a hot tub.”
Will startled so violently that he nearly went under. Someone had crept into the water and was now sitting very close, grinning at him. And not just someone, but Nereus. His green hair was damp, although not enough to tame the curls, and droplets gleamed on his shoulders like jewels. In daylight, he was so handsome that Will found it hard to breathe.
“Y-you,“
Will stuttered.
“Me. Are you feeling well after indulging last night?”
“I’m fine. But you! Had a tail! And you jumped over the railing!“
Will looked down into the tub and saw that Nereus had two perfectly normal legs. Well-muscled legs, at least as far as Will could tell. And Nereus again wore those tiny, shiny swim briefs.
“That is true.”
“But—”
“I am a merman. We have already established that.“
Nereus looked calm, perhaps slightly amused. Oh, and handsome. Will kept noticing that detail.
“Mermen don’t exist.”
“The British used to believe that platypuses did not exist. When presented with a pelt, they assumed it was a hoax. Yet platypuses do most certainly exist.”
Will couldn’t think how to respond to that. He was willing to concede that even in the modern age, the world contained hidden wonders. So instead of pursuing that argument, he changed tactics. “The ship has devices that track anything—or anyone—that goes overboard. The crew told me the sensors didn’t, um, sense you.”
Nereus made a small, playful splash. “My folk are skilled at avoiding notice except when we wish to be seen. This is why we have been able to maintain our status as mythological creatures.”
“But… how?”
“Magic, of course.”
Although Will wanted to argue that magic didn’t exist, he held his tongue, figuring that any protests would meet the same fate as his arguments against the existence of merpeople. So he narrowed his eyes. “Can everyone see you now?”
“Naturally. I would not want onlookers to believe that you are having a conversation with yourself.”
As if on cue, a crew member appeared near the edge of the hot tub. “Can I get you two gentlemen drinks?”
Well, that was a relief, at any rate. Unless Will was also hallucinating the crew member, in which case he was really screwed. “No thanks,“
he said weakly. The guy nodded and walked away.
Then Will and Nereus sat there quietly, like a pair of dumplings in tepid soup. Will wanted to touch him. He also wanted to kiss him again. He did neither. “I thought I was supposed to meet you at midnight.”
Nereus looked serious. “Do you wish me to leave now?”
“No!“
That came out more strident than Will had intended. But if Nereus went away right now, it would feel as if someone had chopped off one of Will’s limbs. “I just…. I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“I was lonely. I have been for some time. There are none of my own folk in this region, and in any case, I yearned for human company. So I came aboard your ship, intending only to observe for a few hours, and—”
“Do you do that a lot? Sneak onto cruise ships?”
Nereus gave a small laugh. “I do not. I often swim near human habitations, more for entertainment than anything else. Something drew me to this particular ship, however. I could not say what. More magic, perhaps.“
He shrugged.
If magic existed, it meant that there was some unseen, unstudied force that sort of wafted around, randomly sprinkling unexpected events. The idea made Will uneasy. On the other hand, he hadn’t fared all that well with cold, hard reality. Maybe he ought to give unreality a fair shake.
“So you were magically drawn to this ship,“
Will prompted. “Like a moth to a flame.”
“Like the sea to the moon. Because you, Willis Pataki, are my moon. Although I did not initially know that. On board I wandered a bit, but I found nobody to connect to. So I sang, because that is the way of my folk.”
“To lure unwary sailors to their death?”
Now Nereus looked sorrowful and perhaps slightly hurt. “I would never intentionally cause harm to any human. Nor would other merfolk. But yes, I suppose we have accidentally done so on occasion. Usually, however, those sailors have simply chosen to join us, and when they disappeared beneath the waves they were assumed lost. We sing not to lure, but to unburden our souls, just as many of your folk do.”
“And your singing drew me.“
Will could almost hear the haunting notes, as if they’d lodged permanently inside him. He’d once been in a car accident and, likely due to impact with the airbag, for months afterward had ringing in his right ear. Nereus’s song was like that, only infinitely more pleasant.
Beneath the surface of the hot tub water, Nereus took Will’s hand in his, loosely interlacing their fingers. Will, if he chose to, could have pulled away without much effort.
“I drew you to me,“
Nereus said, “just as you drew me to you. And last night after I returned to the sea, I swam in circles, barely conscious of anything but my thoughts of you. I did not sleep. I have not eaten since then. Without you, I feel as if I have dived too deeply, where the ocean is dark and the weight of the water presses in and there is not enough oxygen to sustain me. So I boarded your ship early.” His voice cracked with emotion, and Will scooted slightly closer.
“I’ve felt incomplete since last night,“
Will admitted. “And…. Sometimes I’ll walk into a room to do something, only once I get there I forget why I came. I’ve felt like that all day.”
Nereus gave a long sigh as if he’d been holding his breath forever. Which made Will realize that he had a whole lot of questions. “I guess you have lungs, but do you have gills too? How did you do that trick with the tail? If you’re not from around here, where are you from? What’s your culture like, your language? Do you have cities underwater? Do your people care that you like men or is homophobia not a thing with you guys? Do you have family? Can you—”
Nereus kissed him. Very fast, just barely a brushing of lips, but it silenced Will very effectively.
“Ask the important question, Will. Everything else will be answered later—or you’ll find it irrelevant.”
The important question. Will wasn’t entirely stupid; he knew exactly what Nereus was talking about. But it took several minutes before he was brave enough to say it. “What kind of future can we possibly have together?”
Nereus grasped Will’s other hand and gazed intently at him. “A beautiful one, if not always easy. I can live on land. Or—if you wish, and only if you wish—I can enable you to live in the sea.”
Belatedly, Will registered what Nereus had previously said about those sailors. “You can turn a human into a merman? Is it like a werewolf bite or a vampire turning thing?”
“It involves a joining of blood.“
Nereus looked amused. “But I assure you that such a joining can be quite pleasant.”
Will shivered despite the warm water, thinking about all the ways exchanging body fluids with Nereus might be quite pleasant. That was an intriguing line of thought for sure.
Now Nereus was serious again. “You should know, however, that the transformation is permanent. You would be able to shift your tail to legs, just as I can, but you would not be comfortable in that form for long.”
“But you just said you’d be willing to live on land.”
“I would endure anything to remain with you.”
Ho boy. Will felt dizzied by the implications of all this. When he’d boarded the ship in Long Beach, he would never have dreamed that a few days later he’d be sitting in a hot tub with a merman, faced with the most important decision of his life.
God, what if he fucked up this one too?
Smiling slightly, Nereus stood and climbed out of the hot tub. He stood there, wet and magnificent and nearly naked, looking so vulnerable that Will wanted to cry. “Midnight tonight,“
Nereus said softly. He pointed up at the spot where they’d met.
“But we’re sailing away at five.”
“I can follow. If you do not come, I will know that this is not a choice you wish to make. I will understand, and my memories of you will remain one of my greatest treasures. But we will not see each other again.”
This was the sort of thing that someone should ponder for more than a few hours. But the ship was going to leave on schedule, and Will couldn’t exactly expect Nereus to follow it all the way back to Long Beach. He had the conviction that no matter what he decided, it was going to be the wrong thing. It would be another screw-up, and the biggest regret of his life.
“This is too much,“
Will whispered, more to himself than to Nereus.
But Nereus shook his head. “Give yourself credit. You have made many more right choices than wrong ones.“
His expression reflected his calm certainty. “Whatever you choose today, I wish you every happiness.” He turned and walked away.
Will watched him cross the deck and then climb the stairs until he was framed by blue sky, as if he were an angel ascending to heaven. An angel in itsy bitsy sparkly Speedos. When Nereus disappeared from sight, Will closed his eyes, leaned back, and waited for wisdom to flow into him.
“We saw so many hot guys.“
Justin pointed the tines of his fork at Will. “You missed out.”
None of them were Nereus, Will thought. “I enjoyed my day on the ship.“
That was an exaggeration; he’d been too wracked with indecision to enjoy anything. But yes, the hot tub had been pleasant, even after Nereus left. It had also been nice to sit in the shade with gallons of iced tea—he’d known that alcohol wouldn’t help him one bit—staring out at the ocean. The water of Puerto Vallarta’s large bay showed an endless variety of blues, depending on the angle of the sun’s rays. Nereus had spoken twice of the moon and the ocean, but he hadn’t mentioned the sun, which had a different sort of relationship with the Pacific, Will supposed.
At one point, he had wandered into the ship’s small library, where two elderly straight couples were quietly playing cards. He’d pretended to be occupied with his phone, but he’d actually been covertly watching them. Wondering what it was like to have a life partner. Sometimes one of them would finish a spouse’s sentence or they’d laugh together over a shared memory. One of the pairs had a small squabble about whether olive oil should be purchased at Costco.
And now he was in the main dining room with Justin and Rob, who smelled of sunscreen and tequila. Due to the dress code, all three of them wore suits and ties, which felt odd to Will. He’d rarely worn business attire when he was employed, and he certainly hadn’t done so since. It felt as if he were wearing a costume—a really boring one.
Will ate a bite of his steak and contemplated whether to tell his friends about what had really happened today, and about the choice he faced. But then Rob stole a shrimp off Justin’s plate, and Justin retaliated by snagging one of Rob’s potatoes. They started threatening each other with spankings, a conversation that quickly devolved into in-jokes and double entendres.
Will was extraneous, so he remained silent and ate his dinner. It wasn’t that his friends were intentionally excluding him, and they certainly weren’t intending to be rude. They were just too caught up in each other to take much notice of anything else. He wasn’t mad; in fact he was happy for them. He knew they cared about him. But he also knew that if he disappeared, they’d be sad but not devastated.
At no point over dinner did anyone mention mermen. Justin and Rob likely thought it was best to forget that Will had ever brought it up. To them, it was just a small embarrassment, like farting in public.
The food at dinner was probably good, but Will didn’t truly taste it. He ate out of habit more than anything else and would have skipped dessert if the waiter hadn’t seemed horrified at the notion. Even after almost a week on board, it still seemed strange that he could simply get up and leave without paying when the meal was over.
He paused with Justin and Rob just outside the dining room. “What’s next?“
asked Justin, who was staring at the cruise app on his phone. “The movie tonight is a dumb one, but there’s karaoke in about ten minutes. Or we could do the dance party. It’s eighties themed. Ooh, there’s a magician. I love magicians.”
Rob shuddered. “I don’t. There’s something creepy about them.”
And it’s not real magic, Will thought. Not like Nereus.
Justin rolled his eyes. “Fine. There’s an adults-only game show in one of the lounges.”
“That sounds fun.“
Rob looked at Will. “What sounds good to you?”
“I don’t know. I might just go sit in a hot tub.”
“Want us to join you?”
Rob seemed sincere in the offer, but it was clear that he and Justin wanted to do something more social and more exciting. Will shook his head. “Thanks, but I think I’ll fly solo. You guys go have fun, okay?”
They protested, but only a little, before deciding to go dancing. When they were close to each other, they were radiant, each bathing in the other’s glow. Not moons but twin stars, tied together by gravity, forever spinning in an ecstatic duet.
“Thanks for inviting me on this cruise,“
Will said to them before they left. “I’m glad you did. You’re good friends.”
Justin squeezed his shoulder. “We’re glad you came. I hope you’re enjoying yourself. I know life’s been sucky for you lately, but I think sometimes the best way to deal with that, if you can, is to escape for a little bit. It helps give perspective, you know?”
“I think you’re right.”
Will watched them walk away together. They danced a bit as they went, gently hip-checking each other. Sometimes Justin stopped to give a little spin. Although Will expected envy to wash over him, it didn’t. He felt warmed by his friends’ happiness.
He didn’t go to the hot tub, which was crowded now, and he didn’t visit any bars. Instead he slowly wandered the ship, pausing often to look out at the ocean. Was Nereus swimming there now, hidden beneath the dark water?
Eventually Will found himself at the front of the ship. Nobody else was there right now, in part because it had grown late but also because there was a steady breeze here. Will still wore his suit, so he wasn’t chilly. He positioned himself at the very front—was that called the bow?—and leaned forward against the railing. Far in the distance he saw lights, mostly likely of other cruise ships. A full moon shone brightly overhead.
He spent a few minutes imagining himself as a sailor a couple of centuries ago, far from land and desperately homesick. Yearning for solid ground beneath his feet, for the comforts of home, and for the company of his loved ones. If a beautiful woman or handsome man appeared among the waves, singing a mournful tune, wouldn’t he be sorely tempted to leap into the water? Of course he would. But if he gave in to the temptation, would he survive? And if he did survive, would he spend the rest of his life wishing he’d remained on board?
There was no way for Will to know the answers to these questions right now, and by the time he did learn, it would be too late for second thoughts.
So he turned his mind to lighter fantasies. He spread his arms and said, “I’m the king of the world!“
He probably wasn’t the first cruise ship passenger to do that—possibly not even the first today. But it made him think of the Titanic film’s theme song, Celine Dion crooning about the eternity of love. If Will’s true love was lost forever under the water, would Will go on?
And how the hell could he be so deeply in love with Nereus? It was ridiculous. Chemistry, Nereus had claimed. Or magic. Maybe they were the same thing. Either way, Will had been dragged into it without consent, and as far as he could tell, so had Nereus. But Nereus appeared sanguine about the situation—enthusiastic, even. And Will wasn’t upset about it—just overwhelmed.
He looked up at the moon. “This is your fault. You should have cast your spell on someone more capable. Someone who makes good choices.”
Nereus had claimed that Will made more good choices than bad, but what did he know? He hadn’t been an eyewitness to Will’s parade of idiocy. He hadn’t sat by and watched while Will spent years in a relationship with someone who was all wrong for him. Except… at the beginning Steve hadn’t been wrong for him at all. They’d been a good match, in fact, and had a lot of fun together. Steve had stuck with Will during some hard times, and Will had done the same for him. It was only toward the end that they’d grown in different directions.
Okay, but Will quit a good-paying job and left Chicago because Steve got a position in Sacramento. That was dumb of him. Although… that job in Chicago had been emotionally draining him for ages; he came home from work every day so stressed he could barely think. Quitting had probably saved him from an early grave. Then again, Chicago itself was a great city. Except traffic sucked. So did the weather. Sacramento, although smaller, also had a lot going on, and there weren’t any ice storms, blizzards, tornadoes, or months of crippling humidity. Driving and parking were generally pretty easy. Will liked the city a lot.
Fine. But he hadn’t been able to get a new job. The job market was tight and uncertainties abounded. That wasn’t really Will’s choice, however, and it certainly wasn’t his fault. He’d been exercising due diligence in his search. He’d also begun considering some alternate career paths, ones that would never have crossed his mind had he landed softly in another job just like the one in Chicago.
Breaking up with Steve? Not a bad decision at all. It was best for both of them, in fact.
God, but agreeing to spend Christmas with his family! That had been a dumb move for sure. He hadn’t accepted his mother’s invitations in years and had only given in this time because otherwise he would have been alone for the holiday. Will had spent several days holding his tongue while relatives spouted hateful garbage about immigrants, liberals, people of color, and of course LGBTQ+ people. It had been a miserable experience, one he’d vowed to never repeat.
Yet it was also sort of a worthwhile thing. For the longest time he’d felt guilty about turning away from his family, and from now on that guilt would be gone. Also, when Will had sat alone on the back porch, freezing his ass off in an effort to cool his anger, one of his brother’s kids had joined him. Quiet kid, a senior in high school. The kid had confessed that they were fairly certain they were trans, but their parents had gotten hysterical when the subject was raised. Will didn’t know the kid well enough to offer much help, but he did put them in touch with a friend in Chicago, a trans woman whose career involved giving support to LGBTQ+ youth. About a week later, the friend had texted him—with the kid’s permission—to let Will know that they’d connected and that the kid was finding resources. Just before Will left for the cruise, he’d received a thank-you text from the kid.
All right, that had made the trip to see family worthwhile.
Oh, and then there was the cruise. Will had gotten a bad sunburn and had felt superfluous around Justin and Rob’s intense coupledom. Not to mention spending more money than he could afford. He should have stayed home in Sacramento.
Where he would have run out of money soon enough regardless. And where he would have been lonely and miserable and, hell, could even have gotten sunburned. It was a pretty common affliction in California.
Still leaning against the railing like an older, low-rent Leonardo DiCaprio, Will laughed. It turned out that his regrets were largely misplaced. His decisions hadn’t been so crappy after all.
That implied that he had the ability to make a good choice now. But even if that were true, he had no idea what that choice should be.
Like New York City, a cruise ship never sleeps. It gets quieter near midnight, but there are still passengers playing in the casino or haunting the buffet. And of course there’s an army of crew members busily cleaning, restocking, and generally making sure everything is shipshape for the morning.
But when Will reached the deck where he’d met Nereus the night before, nobody else was in sight. Leaning forward against the railing, it was easy to imagine himself aboard a ghost ship—an all-inclusive vacation version of the Flying Dutchman or the Mary Celeste—doomed to sail endlessly across the Pacific. Honestly, there were worse places to be stranded than a cruise ship, although it would be way less fun without the entertainment and the endless food and drink.
He laughed at himself and spoke out loud. “I could probably survive without the art auction, though.”
“There is little need for art under the sea.”
Will spun around. Nereus stood nearby, his wet hair dripping onto bare shoulders and his skin glowing in the moonlight. He smiled, but tentatively, as if not sure whether he should be happy.
Will wasn’t sure either.
“You must be able to swim fast to keep up with the ship,“
Will said.
“Yes.”
“I don’t know how to do more than dog paddle.”
Nereus took a cautious step closer, like someone approaching an animal that is easily spooked. “It will come naturally to you if you transform. I assure you, the physical aspect is easy.“
He paused for a moment. “The emotional aspect may be more difficult.”
Will remembered what Nereus had said when they first met. “Your beloved, the one you were singing about…?”
Another step closer. “He was human. He chose to transform, but it was difficult for him. He had family, you see, and he loved them as well.“
Nereus’s expression was grave. “Together we returned to land, and together we lived there. We were happy for several years—but we were not comfortable, living like that. We escaped to the water as often as we could, but it was not often enough. He grew ill. Human doctors could do nothing for him, and by the time he decided to return to the sea for good, it was too late for him.”
Will wanted to embrace him. “I’m sorry.”
Nereus gave him an anguished look. “Do you think I bear responsibility for his death? If he had never met me, if he hadn’t transformed—”
“He still could have died of an ordinary human disease. Or he could have been hit by a bus.“
Will, who had recently had a revelation about good and bad decisions, moved to Nereus and took his hand. “He freely decided to transform, right?”
“Yes.”
“And when he knew that he was very sick, maybe that he was dying, did he regret transforming?”
“He said he did not.”
With his free hand, Will stroked Nereus’s damp cheek. “Then I guess he chose well, even if everything didn’t turn out perfectly.”
Nereus trapped Will’s wrist, but only to hold it still so he could turn his head and kiss the palm. That small touch was so erotic that Will’s knees wobbled. “And your choice?“
Nereus whispered.
And the thing was, Will quite suddenly knew with complete confidence what his choice would be. Maybe things wouldn’t work out perfectly. Maybe he was making a huge mistake. But God, maybe not.
He took a step back. Then he took his phone from his pocket and tapped a quick message to Justin and Rob. They likely wouldn’t see it until morning, which was fine with him.
There really is a merman. I’m joining him. Don’t worry about me, ok? Someday soon I’ll find a way to let you know I’m fine.
He hit Send and waited to make sure the message didn’t bounce. Then he turned around and threw the phone over the railing. He didn’t watch it fall.
“What next?“
Will looked questioningly at Nereus, who gaped at him, eyes shining. He looked like a man who’d just discovered that a wonderful dream was coming true.
“Strip,“
Nereus answered, his voice a little raspy.
Will quickly obeyed, leaving the business suit in an untidy heap on the deck. It felt weird to stand naked in public; surely a camera somewhere nearby was recording him. He didn’t care.
Nereus reached for his swim trunks and pulled off… a scale, roughly the size of a half dollar. He held it for Will to see. And that was when another realization hit Will. “You’re not wearing Speedos.”
“I am not wearing anything.“
Nereus grinned.
“But your, um—”
Nereus interrupted him with a laugh. “For aquatic mammals, it makes sense for male genitalia to remain protected within the body when not in use. Do not worry. When called upon, it proves quite capable.”
Oh. Will shrugged off the fact as just one of many adaptations he’d have to make. He watched as Nereus used the edge of the scale, obviously very sharp, to slice across one of his wrists. He began to bleed immediately, the droplets inky in the moonlight.
When Will held out an arm, Nereus gazed at him. “You are certain?”
“I am.”
The scale didn’t hurt as it cut into him.
They held their bleeding wrists together, palms pressed tight and fingers interlocked as they kissed.
Will felt the change wash through him, sudden as a cloudburst. There was no pain, just a profound sense of difference. His muscles felt more powerful. His eyes could see in the darkness as if it were noon on a sunny day, every detail crisp and clear. And his dick…. Oh. That external–internal thing was interesting.
Nereus stepped back a few inches. A tear tracked down his cheek, his expression ecstatic. “Will,“
he whispered. “My Will.”
“My moon.“
Will quickly licked the tear away, the salt water wonderfully sweet on his tongue. He looked down at their arms and saw that they’d both stopped bleeding. Not even a faint scar remained.
He was going to comment on that, on the sheer wonder of it, on the way his skin tingled with energy and his heart beat so strongly that it felt like it would never stop. But then he heard the water brushing against the ship’s hull and he wanted—no, he needed to feel the ocean embrace him.
Will started for the railing, but Nereus caught his hand. He was smiling as he said, “You’ll need your tail.”
They were still holding hands as they hopped up onto the tall, narrow railing, a feat that would have been impossible for Will only a few minutes earlier. He watched as Nereus’s legs briefly shimmered before becoming a long, shiny tail. Then he watched as his own did the same. It felt wonderful. Like a really good stretch after being cramped for too long.
They had to disconnect their hands in order to turn around and face away from the ship. The water was far below, but Will wasn’t afraid. In fact, he felt eager. More excited than he’d been in years. He felt optimistic for the first time ever. This, he realized, was what joy felt like.
Nereus took his hand again. “Are you ready, my love?”
The Pacific was indeed pacific tonight, and the light from the moon reflected in the water. It made Will think that while the moon calls to the ocean, perhaps the ocean also calls to the moon. Two entities, seemingly very different and far apart, finding a way to join. Their union as powerful as the tides, as beautiful as moonlight on water. The idea made him smile.
“I’m ready.”
And together, they leapt.