2
Xan
Morgan’s cheeks turn pink. “Oh. Well… maybe the sofa turns into a bed? I don’t mind sleeping on it.”
“You’re too big for that to be even remotely comfortable. If anyone sleeps on the sofa, it’ll be me.”
He’s shaking his head before I’ve finished the sentence. “Nope. If I’m not allowed to sleep on the sofa, then you aren’t either. Besides, we’ve slept together before.“
I blink and my brain goes blank for a moment as I try to make sense of that. “I mean, how many times have we fallen asleep on the couch while watching movies? Or in college when we were studying for exams.” All of that is true, and my lungs remember to function again. “We can share the bed. It’s big enough. Plus, you’re my best friend.” His grin turns teasing. “I promise to keep my hands to myself.” I snort like that’s a ridiculous joke. Which it is. But god, how I wish it wasn’t. “Seriously, though, I promise I won’t hog the bed.”
That makes me laugh. “Well, I can’t make that promise, but I will try. You know I starfish when I’m sleeping.”
“I’ll just shove you back on your side. No worries.“
He holds out a hand to help me up. “C’mon. Let’s go check out the ship.”
I let him pull me to my feet, fully expecting him to let go once I’m upright. When he doesn’t, I don’t pull away. Is it stupid? Immensely. And my brain is screaming that this entire situation is going to blow up in my face. Either I’ll get hurt or it’s going to ruin our friendship. I tell my brain to shut the fuck up, and follow Morgan out the door.
The bon voyage party is in full swing when we get on deck. Music is blasting, people are dancing, and drinks are flowing freely. Morgan weaves through the crowd like he’s on a mission, and I follow behind, still holding his hand. He doesn’t let go until we’re leaning against the pool bar. Before I can mourn the loss, he slings his arm over my shoulder and pulls me against his side as he peruses the drink menu. “I want something vacationy. And fun.”
The bartender—Andy, according to his name tag—wipes the counter in front of us. “Can’t go wrong with a classic daiquiri or a pi?a colada.”
Morgan’s eyes light up. “Yes! That’s what I want. A strawberry daiquiri, please. And thank you.”
“You got it.“
Andy lets loose with a flirty smile before turning to me. “And what can I get for you?”
I give the menu one more look before placing it back on the bar. “Might as well go for a coordinating set. I’ll have the pi?a colada.”
“Yes!“
Morgan holds out his fist for a bump, which I duly give. “Can I try some of yours?”
The image of Morgan’s lips wrapped around my straw, sucking creamy pi?a colada into his mouth has my pulse racing and my cheeks heating. Thank god I can blame that on the sun. “Sure.”
We step to the side and watch the crowd. People are having an incredible time letting the party atmosphere inspire them. “Here you go.“
Andy sets our drinks on the bar.
“Thank you.“
I sign for them and watch Morgan from the corner of my eye as he bops to the music and sucks in some of his daiquiri. My pants get a little tighter when he moans and closes his eyes.
“Oh my god, this is so good! Why have I never had one of these before?”
Laughing to mask my own groan, I shrug and hold out my drink. Because I’m a glutton for punishment, obviously. “No idea. Here, try mine.“
I assume he’ll take my cup and hold it himself, but nooooooo. Just as I imagined, Morgan leans over and wraps his plush lips around my straw before he hollows his cheeks. His eyes meet mine, and neither of us looks away until his mouth is full and he pulls back.
As he does, a bit of pi?a colada dribbles out of the straw. I swear to god I almost come in my pants as he licks the off-white slush from his lip. “Oh, that one’s good too! We should totally share.”
Somehow, I manage to nod and remember to breathe as I will my rock-hard dick to deflate. “Sure. Absolutely.”
“You two seem like loads of fun.“
Our cabin neighbor appears beside me, sipping his own drink. “Making out in hallways, suggestively drinking cock” —he fake-coughs dramatically— “tails. Oh my god, that was hot.” He fans himself dramatically and then his eyes widen. “But not as hot as that.” In a flash, he’s off following a muscular man wearing nothing but very snug running shorts.
I glance at Morgan to see if what Danny said upset him. He’s smiling but by the way his brows are furrowed and his quick look at me, I can tell he’s not sure what Danny meant. Without missing a beat, I give him a little shrug like I don’t know either. Morgan’s expression clears and his shoulders relax, and so do I. “C’mon. Let’s stroll around and check out more of the ship.”
We take our time, stopping in shops and a few bars along the way, deciding our cruise thing will be trying new-to-us drinks at each location. Thankfully we only pass a few bars on our way back to get ready for dinner.
After a few wrong turns, we make it back to our cabin and I gesture toward the bathroom. “You can go first. I’m going to relax for a minute.”
Morgan nods but doesn’t move, and when I drop onto the sofa with a groan, he sinks to his knees next to me, taking my hand. My breath hitches as I stare into his eyes, wondering what the hell is happening. “Xan?“
His gaze drops and his brows furrow, almost like he’s worried.
I squeeze his hand encouragingly. “Yeah?”
“I know I said it before, but thanks for coming with me.“
He lifts his gaze to mine. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re my best friend, and you always have my back. You always make me feel like I’m enough.”
That pisses me off, but I’m not mad at Morgan. Far from it. I’m furious at his exes because he is enough. He’s more than enough, and not one of them appreciated how incredible he is. “I’ve told you before, but I really, really want you to listen to me. Okay?“
His big, soft, beautiful brown eyes stare trustingly into mine. “You are—” Rather than not having the right words, too many try to force their way out of my mouth. So many that none make it past my lips. And then the prickling starts behind my eyes. This man deserves so much praise and affection, which is not how he’s been treated.
I start again. “You’re amazing. You’re kind, thoughtful, and so emotionally available. You let everyone know exactly how you feel about them and are always considerate and funny. Just because some people can’t see how wonderful you are doesn’t mean you’re not. Okay?“
Without thinking, I place my palm against his face and stroke my thumb over his cheekbone. “Don’t ever think you aren’t enough, because that breaks my heart.” There’s a long moment when Morgan’s gaze never leaves mine, and I swear it feels like maybe he’s leaning in toward me and my heart skips a few beats.
He grips the back of my neck and squeezes lightly. “I love you, Xan. I don’t know what I did right to have you in my life, but you always make me feel better about myself.“
His cheeks pink and he grins sheepishly as he turns his head and kisses my palm.
Somehow I force the words out of my mouth. “Love you too.”
Morgan climbs to his feet. “Too bad I’m only into women because it would be perfect if I could just date you.“
The words hit me like a punch to the chest. It would be perfect. So. Fucking. Perfect.
He grabs his suitcase and tosses it onto the bed. “We like the same things, you like to cook and I like to clean, so we always have good food and a tidy apartment.“
I breathe deeply, trying not to explode with everything I want to say to him. He unzips the suitcase and pulls out a pair of boxer briefs, a collared shirt, and chinos, tossing them on the bed before heading for the bathroom, boxer briefs in hand. “Hell, we’ve successfully lived together for seventeen years and that’s longer than many relationships last.” He shuts the bathroom door but keeps talking. “All I know is that until I find a woman who makes me feel loved and appreciated like you do, I’m not falling in love again. That’s it.”
The shower turns on and I let out the laughing sob that I’ve been holding in for what feels like days. I want to march into the bathroom and tell him that he doesn’t have to look anymore because I’m right here and I already love him like that. But it would only make him feel bad. He doesn’t love me like that, and saying anything could ruin our friendship. I’d rather have some of him than none of him, so I keep my mouth closed and my feelings locked deep inside.