4
Morgan
I open my eyes and smile. “Sure.“
Like it’s something we do all the time, I lift their hand from the railing and step back, pulling them with me before sliding an arm around their waist and leading them around the little quiet area we found. They’re a little stiff, but that’s not surprising. They don’t go out much and are probably a little nervous they’ll mess up. I used to feel like that until I took ballroom dancing classes for my sister’s wedding. Now I love dancing.
With gentle strokes, I rub my palm up and down their back, trying to help them relax. “I like this song. Someone telling the person they love that they’ll be there no matter what. They’ll have their back and be their shield when life comes at them. Kind of like how we are.“
Without a doubt, I know Xan would do anything for me, and I’d do anything for Xan. Their head snaps up and they look a little panicked. I smile encouragingly. “Relax. I have you.” They make a squeaking noise, then take a deep breath and exhale slowly. It’s like the patience breathing I taught them for dealing with difficult customers. With the next inhalation, they’re not as tense. Xan puts their hand on my bicep and I readjust my hold so it’s more natural. “Perfect. Now stay loose.”
I lead them around our little area, and it’s like it’s just us on the ship. Is it odd dancing with a masculine person? Not really. Dancing with Xan is nice. I pull them closer and have the urge to rest my jaw against their temple. But that’s what you do when you’re dancing with a romantic partner. Xan is my non-romantic partner. But if I had to pick one person to be with for the rest of my life, it would be Xan. We like so many of the same things. And they never get frustrated with me. I’m not the quickest person, but that never bothered them. We’re really compatible and have been living together for almost two decades without getting on each other’s nerves. We’ve disagreed over things, but never argued. And they always make me feel good about myself. Like I matter.
The song comes to an end and another one starts, but Xan steps back. “Thanks. That was fun.“
They yawn and stretch. “Wow, I’m beat and ready to go back to the cabin. You coming, or do you want to hang out here some more?”
The thought of being horizontal and closing my eyes is too tempting and results in a jaw-cracking yawn. “Cabin. I’m definitely ready to sleep.”
This time, I recognize landmarks on our way back to the cabin, so we don’t get lost. I let Xan use the bathroom first, since they let me go first before dinner. I undress down to my boxer briefs, carefully folding my clothes before stacking them in my suitcase. When Xan comes out of the bathroom, they make that squeaking sound again. “Are you okay? Do you have the hiccups?”
Xan shakes their head. “No. I just stubbed my toe on the doorframe.”
“Are you okay? Do you need me to look at it? I have a first aid kit.”
They cross the room, heading for the bed. “No. It’s already better.“
They gesture over their shoulder. “Bathroom’s all yours.”
“Thanks. You pick whichever side you want. I’m good with either.”
By the time I’m back in the room, Xan is in bed on the side closest to the balcony, scrolling on their phone. They’re wearing their glasses and are shirtless. The dark hair on their chest is thick enough to cover their pecs, and looks so soft. I have an urge to comb my fingers through it, which is silly. “Should I turn off the lights?”
“No. There’s a master switch on this lamp. Just come to bed.“
Their cheeks get pink before they look back at their phone. I slide in next to them and they hand me their phone, gesturing to the charging cord plugged into the hub on my side of the bed. “Would you mind plugging this in for me?” I take it and plug it in, doing the same to mine. Xan reaches up and turns off the lights and we settle in.
Our room is quiet, but we can hear sounds from other rooms and people walking past our door. As tired as I was just ten minutes ago, now I’m wide awake, and very aware of Xan shirtless and next to me. Which is odd. We’ve slept next to each other before. Too many times to count, crashing at friends’ houses after parties in our twenties, and that one time we tried camping. Yeah, never again. But now it’s like my skin is buzzing. And I have an urge to move closer to them, or take their hand. What is up with that? Do they feel this too? Is the buzzing something to do with the ship’s engines? That wouldn’t make me want to hold hands. “I had a great day today.“
Xan hums agreement but doesn’t say anything. I don’t think they’re mad at me, but I feel compelled to verify that in some way. “Did you?” That gets me another hum. It sounds like a not-angry hum, so maybe Xan is really sleepy. “Thanks for coming on this trip with me. I’m really glad you’re here.”
There’s silence, and I wonder if they’re already asleep until their voice drifts through the small space between us. “I had a great day with you. And I’m really glad I’m here, too. Thanks for inviting me.”
The buzzing under my skin intensifies, like a low-grade electric hum. “Of course. You’re my best friend.“
Xan rolls onto their side, facing the balcony, and I figure that’s them saying it’s time to sleep. I turn to face the room and close my eyes. “Night. Love you.” Even as I say the words, they feel different. The air in the room supercharges, and the hairs on my arm stand up like lightning is about to strike. Only there’s no storm outside. I hold my breath anyway.
Xan’s words float into the dark room and settle over me like a warm hug. “Love you too.“
That easily, balance is restored, the buzzing quiets, and I can breathe. Whatever was making things weird is gone and I feel sleepy again. Xan reaches back and pats my arm. “Night, Morgan. Sleep well.” Before they’re done speaking, I’m out.