Chapter 27
Willa
I’ve never been a nail biter, but the tip of my thumb keeps finding its way between my teeth as I wait outside the doors.
Luca and Kandi said they’d walk in with me, but they’re late.
They covered the ice with a floor and set up round tables around a small stage holding a band. Everyone is dressed in suits and gowns throughout the space for the annual Hockey Alumni Banquet Dinner. They hold it every year for the board members, coaching staff, seniors on the team, and alumni.
It’s mid-season, but the alumni that are retired attend the banquet every year to celebrate the start of the tournament toward the Frozen Four. I’d be fine attending as a senior on the Women’s Hockey team, but I’m here as a coach. A coach that half the room was against hiring.
I brush my hands down my navy-blue jumpsuit. Jocelyn picked out an assortment of dresses for me to try, but I wanted to be comfortable. The pant legs flow out like a dress, and it’s just as fancy as anyone dressed inside.
“What are you standing out here for?” Carter comes down the hall behind me, looking like a mound of tacos I’d rather be devouring other than the tiny pieces of my thumbnail in his dark gray fitted suit.
Letting out a long sigh, I take in the way the jacket forms over his thick arms down to his tapered waist. Has he always looked this good?
“Are you ok?” He towers over me in the narrow hallway.
“Yeah, I’m… I’m nervous about going inside.” I point to the doors behind me.
“Why? You look amazing.” He slowly lets out the air puffing out his cheeks as his eyes roam down my body.
“Thank you.” I blush. “Half those men don’t want me here.”
“Those men are sexist assholes who need their wallets to buy women.” He sneers through the long narrow window of the door.
“Whoa, relax.” I hold him away from the doors. “Some of those men could be your future bosses.”
He rolls his eyes and tilts his lips up and down, refusing to say I’m right.
“You have nothing to be nervous about.” He holds down my tensed up shoulders. “We’ve won three games in a row, which is a lot better than we were doing last semester.”
“It’s only three games.”
“And it’s all because of you.” His thumbs move in a circular motion over my bare shoulders, calming my nerves. “Take the credit and be proud. You belong here.”
He’s saying all the right things. He always does, and butterflies are dancing in my gut for a completely different reason now. I can’t like him. Not this much.
Jocelyn still has a crush on him. I’d be a terrible friend if I didn’t speak to her first. And Carter doesn’t want anything serious. He doesn’t want a relationship, and I still don’t believe he has any sort of feelings for me that would make him change his mind.
“Let’s go inside.” Carter’s hands drop from my shoulders. He leans forward, and I suck in the air between us.
The twisted knot in my gut tightens, and I do the only thing I can think of.
I hit him.
Tightening my fist and swinging it up, I knock Carter right in the nose. Knuckles against the center of his face, right in line with that tiny scar.
“Fuck!” His hands lift to cup his face.
I gasp and cover my wide open mouth.
“What the fuck was that for?” He curses and holds his head back, pressing himself against the wall on the other side to get as far away from me as possible.
“I panicked,” I screech and reach out for him. “I’m sorry. Let me see it.”
“What were you panicking for?” He glares at me with his hands still covering his nose and mouth.
“You were going to kiss me.” I wave my arms back and forth in the small space between us. “We agreed to stop doing that.”
“I was reaching for the door.” He lowers one hand to point to the handle next to me. “I was going to hold the door for you.”
“Oh.” Shit, what did I do? “I’m so sorry.” I wring my hands together and rub my sore knuckles. “Does it hurt?”
“Uh, yeah.”
Duh, of course it hurts.
“Are you bleeding?” He flinches when I step forward to get a look at it. “Let me see.”
“I may like when you slap me while we’re having sex, but that was a fucking right hook.” He complains with a groan behind his palm.
“Let me look at it.” I tap my foot with my fists on my hips to wait for him to calm down. Now, he’s just being a baby.
He takes a deep breath, relaxing himself from the wall.
“Fine.” He squints above his hand and moves closer to where I’m standing. Blinking upward to stop his eyes from tearing.
Eventually, he leans down so I can get a better look and lowers his hand. There’s no blood. I was expecting an outpouring of red to signify it’s broken, but there’s barely a shade of pink on him.
I inch up closer to examine his smooth skin over the hard lines of his face, and blow out a breath to brush away the loose hair from his short beard on his cheek.
It’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with his nose or the rest of his face. But as soon as I lower to my heels, Carter grabs my jaw and presses his mouth against mine.
Our lips lock together and his tongue taps my upper lip, begging to be let in. With a moan, my lips part to give him the passage he seeks.
My back hits the wall as he deepens the kiss, stealing the breath from my lungs.
“Carter.” His name comes out in a breathless whisper as I break away.
He smiles down at me, making my legs weak and wobbly. I have to hold on to his arms to stop myself from falling over.
“If I’m going to get punched for doing something, I might as well do it.” He lifts my chin and softly molds his lips back onto mine, kissing me as if his heart is reaching out and wrapping itself around mine.
“We have to go inside.” His thumb runs over my cheek as he whispers against my open mouth. “But I need you to know I’m here for you.” He grabs my hands and pulls away. “I want to be good for you. I’ll do everything I can to deserve you. I’m yours.”
If I could breathe, I wouldn’t know what to say.
Is he saying what I think he’s saying? Or am I making it up in my head?
I want to believe what I think he’s saying is true. He kisses me as if he’s keeping all the promises Vic didn’t stick to.
Is it real?
Carter leans in, but this time I see he’s reaching for the handle. He opens the door and guides me through it with a hand at the small of my back.
We walk through the short carpet lined entrance, pausing to take the room in. The arena is breathtaking without the linen lined tables and flowers. With them, it doesn’t even feel like we’re on the ice. It’s not the home I’m used to.
“Ready?” Carter holds out his arm for me.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I snake my arm through his and am instantly more comfortable. It’s like he said; I belong here.
Faces turn our way as we enter. Some ignore us, others glare, and more smile.
“Is your nose ok?” I whisper to Carter to take my mind off the glaring faces.
“It’s fine.” He laughs.
Luca comes through the other entrance opposite from where we were, with Kandi on his arm. She fixes her red hair and smooths down her silky blue-green dress before reaching up to fix a hair that fell out of Luca’s tight bun.
He catches my eye through the lavish suits and dresses between us, tilting his lips in an apology.
The reason he didn’t meet me is obvious, but I’m glad he didn’t see my right hook on Carter’s nose. Or the kiss.
Carter steers me to the right, guiding me away from where his father is talking to Coach Renan. A petite woman stands next to him. She glances over, catching me staring at them, and smiles at her son’s back before turning it to me.
I nod and quickly look away when Carter’s arm stiffens under my hold. He walked us right into Coach Higgins’ sight line.
The coach laughs at something the alumnus says before catching sight of Carter. His smile straightens out, and his normally lightly tanned skin pales.
“Let’s go this way.” I lead us away, but the alumnus, Hank Davies, calls us over to their small group.
He’s a retired NHL legend and a scout for the Drexton Hall Huskies. I’ve been in meetings with him and the other coaches about skills we’d be looking for to improve the team for next year.
“Willa,” Hank waves us over, “come meet a few guys I played with when I was a Husky.”
He introduces Carter and me to the alumni in their group that I recognize from many years ago when I first started watching hockey.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” I shake their hands in awe.
Carter’s normally stoic face brightens, meeting legends he’s no doubt looked up to as well.
“Carter Pierce.” Coach HIggins says his name, committing it to memory. I’m surprised it’s taken him this long, but there would be no reason for them to cross paths after last semester and the one class he taught ended.
“Coach Higgins.” Carter stands tall and shakes his hand.
“How’s your ankle, Tomlin?” Coach Higgins turns his resentment to me. “Last I heard, the doctor said they were working on getting you back on the ice in skates.”
Carter pats my hand that’s gripping his elbow. He’s here for me. I’m not alone.
“We’re working on it,” I say, smiling through the ripple of panicking. “I’m happy I get to work with the men’s team in the interim. Hockey is my life, I’ll do everything I can to get back out there.”
I didn’t realize how true that was, but I’ll never give up. Whatever it takes.
“I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet.” Carter goes rigid at the sound of his father’s voice as he comes up next to Coach Higgins. He isn’t talking to me. “You’re the new women’s head coach, right?”
He doesn’t acknowledge me or that he interrupted our conversation.
“I didn’t realize the Mayor’s son was on the hockey team here,” Coach HIggins smirks when he makes the connection.
“Both my sons are, but Carter’s the oldest. A senior.” He glances a sneer at his son.
“And a paramedic with the fire department, right? That’s something to be proud of.” The tension is stifling, and I need to get us out of here.
“It’s been a pleasure–” I get cut off by the gorgeous woman joining us at the coach’s side.
She smiles up at her husband, but it quickly disappears as her eyes widen when she spots Carter.
“Carter, you remember my wife, Gia, right?” He pushes his wife forward a step.
“It’d be hard to forget.” Carter smirks before turning to me. “We should go greet the other alumni.”
“Excuse my son’s rudeness,” Mayor Pierce scoffs and eyes his son, “but how do you two know each other?” His eyes roam down to the woman with platinum blonde hair in a matching silky, golden dress showing off her large breasts.
She clears her throat and brushes her hair behind her ear with her long fake red nails.
“I saved Jonah’s life.” Carter speaks up before Coach Higgins can. “Epilepsy, right? I hope you have that under control.”
Coach Higgins glares at Carter, but his wife is quick to cut through the tension.
“That’s right. I was so scared, and Carter was the first on the scene.” She pats her husband’s chest for him to back down.
“Coach Renan is looking for us,” I pipe in. “It was a pleasure. Enjoy the banquet.”
I pull Carter away to get as far from them as possible before they can say anything to keep us to there.
“Enjoy the banquet?” Carter laughs at me once we’re out of earshot, but the tension is still rolling through him. “Are there drinks at this thing?” He looks around the space and eyes the bar set up in the corner.
“No one from the team can drink.” I pull him closer to me and steer him to the side. “The team is considered the host, and you need to appear professional.”
“After that, I need something, and I don’t think you’re willing to leave yet.” He moves away from me, eyeing the exit to make his escape. “No one will notice if I’m not here.”
“Coach Renan will, and I will too. You’re not leaving me.” I pull him further to the side in hopes he just needs a minute to cool down.
“I could never leave you.” Carter smiles down at me.
“I’m serious, Carter. You’ve been doing so good the last few weeks. Don’t screw it up.”
He nods with one side of his mouth lifted.
“You can do this.” I squeeze his arm. “I got you.” I’m not just encouraging him. I need to hype myself up to get back out there to mingle too. “We got this.”
Carter’s hand splays over my hip, and his thumb draws a slow circle along my waistline, sensing my unease. “Ok, let’s do this.”
Dean Whalen welcomed me with open arms. It was an awkward hug, but he was excited to introduce me to alumni from his generation. The same went for Kandi’s father, who I had no idea was an alumnus or owner of the San Jose Quakes. Luca introduced him to me as his future father-in-law and they had a good laugh over that.
Carter even laughed with them. That tension he was feeling lifted the further we stayed away from his father and the man whose wife he slept with.
“Will you be ok? I have to run to the restroom,” Carter whispers in my ear and sneaks a soft brush of his lips on my temple after I nod for him to go.
I watch him walk away, lost in thought, trying to figure out what it all means. Are we a couple now? We haven’t had a chance to discuss it, but him at my side the entire night feels like a thing couples do. Is that what he meant?
“You’re Willa, right?”
My jumbled thoughts are broken up by a sweet, soft voice next to me. Carter’s mom smiles at me over the rim of her wineglass.
“I am.” I’m not sure how much Carter has told her about me, if he’s said anything at all.
“Thank you.” She smiles again, but keeps her eyes open over the room. Watching for her husband. “I haven’t seen my son as happy as he is tonight with you in a long time. I’ve missed that smile.”
My heart breaks for her. I can’t imagine what she’s going through or why. How long has she been living in fear? Why would she allow it to happen?
There’s a great sense of fear in her watery eyes as they bounce around the many faces around us.
I don’t hate her. I pity her. She’s scared and trapped in her own life.
She turns to me with her piercing gold eyes. “Thank you for taking care of my son when I couldn’t. He deserves to be happy.”
I open my mouth to respond, but Luca barrels over with a hard scowl and steam coming out of his ears.
“I’m sorry, I know you’re friends or whatever, but I might kill him.” He huffs out a deep breath while bouncing on his heels.
I turn to apologize, but Carter’s mom disappeared as soon as he came by.
“What are you talking about?” It takes me a second for what he said to click, and I stop searching for Carter’s mom. “What happened?”
It’s been a while since Carter went to the restroom, but he’s not back or anywhere in the space they created for the banquet.
“He kicked me out of the bathroom.” Luca shakes his head. “He was being a dick and told me to get the fuck out.”
“Why? Was anyone else in there?” I check for the familiar faces around the room.
Carter’s mom had joined her husband in a group by the bar. Coach Higgins” angry scowl catches my eye, walking toward another group of men from the board. His wife isn’t with him.
My heart sinks from my chest. Why would he kick Luca out so fast unless he was trying to hide something?
I don’t wait for an explanation from Luca.
Heat travels up my neck, and I stomp my way toward the restroom he went to.
It’s Vic all over again. We’d be at a party and Vic would disappear to go to the restroom, but then he wouldn’t come back for hours. He’d disappear to screw another girl.
I never caught him, but I knew exactly what he was doing. I’m not letting this happen again.
Distracted with the determination to catch him in the act, I round the exit and ram into a hard body.
“Whoa, Willa.” Jocelyn steps back, rubbing her shoulder. “It’s good to see you can still check someone.”
“Fuck, sorry Joce.” I look around, but no one is paying attention to me. I can’t make a scene here. Clearing my head to cool off, I notice Coach Higgins’ wife sitting at a table by herself, flipping through her phone.
“I’m sorry.” I say again, shaking off my anger to help Jocelyn fix her hair.
“It’s ok. I miss being checked by you at practice.” She smiles and bumps my shoulder. “I was trying to make an escape. Do you think anyone will notice?”
I check out the room of women and men twice our age, drinking and having a good time. All of them ignoring the few players left that are hanging around the outskirts.
“I think you’re good. It’s getting late.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you at home.” She playfully nudges me again as she passes. Her long dark pink high slit dress flows behind her.
Remembering where I was headed, I take a deep breath to prepare myself. I can’t go in there, shooting off pucks, but I can confront him.
I quickly turn back to face the hall to the restroom, but Carter is striding toward me in his crisp suit that melted the ice beneath my feet earlier.
That unsteadiness still hits me, and his face lights up when he sees me at the edge of the walkway, between the stands of the arena.
How could he do this to me?
“Where were you?”
“I was in the restroom.” He motions behind him. “What’s wrong?”
“Who were you with?” I shoot my questions at him.
“No one,” he answers slowly.
“Luca said you rudely kicked him out.” I slam my hands on my hips to challenge him. “What are you hiding?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head and reaches out to rub my shoulder, but I pull away. “Willa.” He crowds into me. “I swear I wasn’t doing anything. Luca was getting on my nerves. I needed a break.”
My body deflates with the warm touch of his palm running down my arm.
I’m accusing him of nothing. We’re not even a couple, and I’m accusing him of cheating on me.
Carter is not Vic.
It must be written all over my face, because he rubs my shoulder and tips my chin up to look at him.
“I swear, I wouldn’t do anything like that to you.”
“I know.” I nod, but I’m still not sure what it all means. Carter is not Vic and he would never treat me the same way, but we are not an item that I should expect his devotion.
If we’re together, I know he would never cheat on me. Are we together? Do I want that?
“Do you want to go back?” He steps back for me to lead the way to the banquet.
“No, I want to go home.” I’m over being social for the night. “Some people have already started leaving.”
“Ok, I’ll take you home.” He motions the opposite way to the exit.
“Do you think you can take me home too?” Jocelyn calls out from behind us. “Sorry, I heard you say you’d take her home. And I need to get out of here.” She looks up at Carter, but quickly looks away.
“Yeah, that’s no problem.”
I want to be alone with Carter to talk about where we stand, but a part of me wants to avoid talking at all.
I’m still plagued with resentment about how Vic treated me, and I never want to project that on Carter the way I did. He’s done so much for me and deserves better.
I’m not sure I’m ready to jump into anything with anyone, although if it was someone, it’d be him. I can’t imagine being with anyone else.
He’s turned into my best friend, and someone I can rely on more than anyone. So, what’s holding me back?