Chapter 28
Willa
I will do whatever it takes to play hockey again.
This is my dream. A dream that my parents supported for years, even when they weren’t happy about the time, money, or that their little girl was coming home with bruises and knocked out teeth.
I lost my tooth one time, and my mother nearly had a heart attack, but they knew nothing would stop me. Not even this.
I can do it.
“How do your skates feel?” Carter finishes tying them and sets my feet down.
“Good.” I press my feet down to get a good feel.
He was more than happy to come and help when I called him, but he hasn’t stopped nervously watching me since we got here.
“I’m not going to freak out,” I reassure him, and encourage myself.
“Ok.” He stands from the bench and opens the door with his hands out for me to take. “Don’t overthink it. Just go for it.”
Just go for it.
I know how to skate like I know how to walk. I don’t think about walking, and I never thought about skating as much as I am now.
Don’t think about it, just do.
I take Carter’s hand and let him lead me out.
“Just go,” I tell him. “Don’t hesitate to help me step out.”
If I’m going to do this, we just need to go for it. No hesitations or analyzing each step.
I keep my eyes on Carter’s as I step one foot in front of the other. I focus on the reddish-brown tones of his irises. They remind me of a tree we had on our front lawn. The leaves would start out red when they first bloomed. Within a couple of weeks, the red would fade to chocolate before it was fully bloomed for summer.
As he moves further back, I focus on the long dark strands at the top of his head that fall over the front of his forehead.
I blow the strand of hair that falls from my hair to clear my view and focus back on Carter’s perfectly symmetrical face.
Creases form at the corners of his eyes and his cheeks lift. Both eyes are evenly set under his flawlessly shaped eyebrows and over his high cheekbones. His nose is a straight line down the middle with only that scar as a tiny imperfection.
He squints down at me and tilts his head with his lips turning up, surrounded by his evenly trimmed beard.
“How did you get that scar?”
He smiles and tightens his lips to stop from laughing before answering me. “A stick to the face during a game my freshman year.”
“What are you laughing at?”
“Nothing.” His hair flaps over his forehead, and his grip on my hands loosens.
“Do you get your eyebrows waxed?” There’s no doubt he goes to the barber regularly. Do they also take care of his eyebrows? “They’re always nicely shaped.”
My eyebrows are never perfect. One is always thinner than the other.
“Threaded.” He laughs again.
Another hair falls in my face and I let go of him to brush it away. I don’t remember the last time I got my eyebrows done. They were always thin and light. I never give them much thought, but have gone for special occasions.
“Should we go another turn around?” Carter asks, and it settles in.
We’re moving. We’re not going fast, but Carter is skating backwards as I follow. He’s not dragging me. My feet are moving, one by one, right, left, right.
My mouth drops open as I look back up at his wide grin. He lets go of my other hand and I skate on my own.
“I’m doing it,” I shout, and pick up speed.
“Don’t go too fast,” he shouts back at me.
I try to stop and spin with wobbling ankles.
“Whoa, I’m not ready for that.” I laugh at myself, holding my hands out to steady my balance.
It’s going to be ok. I haven’t skated in months and with some practice and strengthening exercises, I can get back to it. This is step one.
“Are you ok?” Carter comes gliding up to me.
“I did it. I can skate!” Pressing my hands on his shoulders, I jump on him and wrap my legs around his waist. Forcing him back from my spring up onto him, we glide on the ice until his shoulders hit the glass.
“I did it,” I say breathlessly.
“I knew you could.” His hands run over my hips and up my sides.
Just go for it.
No more thinking. My plan was to talk to him after we gave this a try, but I’m done overthinking everything. And I want to celebrate.
Closing my eyes, I plunge in, pressing my lips against his. He melts into me with a groan, molding our lips together as I suck them in.
His hands run over my ass and up my back.
I need him.
I want him now.
I’m desperate to touch him, tugging at his fleece jacket to open and reveal any bit of skin I can get to.
“Willa,” Carter moans when my mouth latches onto his neck, sucking and licking at his prickly skin.
“I want you,” I moan and thrust, rubbing against him.
Shifting us over, he pushes the door to the penalty box open, stumbling backwards into the short bench.
He sits down and cradles my face in his hands.
“You can have me anyway you want me.” He kisses me softly. Lightly caressing my lips with his own and stroking his tongue with sweet touches inside my parched mouth.
I grind against him, pushing his jacket off down his arms and tossing it to the side. Flinging my shirt and jacket off, I toss it over too, leaving me in my bra and leggings in the sin-bin.
With a groan, Carter buries his face in my chest. He peppers me with sweet kisses and sucks at the ample flesh coming out from my push-up bra.
“Pants.” I slip off his lap to pop the button of his jeans open and slide the zipper down.
“Should I take my shirt off too, boss?” He groans when I slide my hand down his hard shaft to shut him up.
“Yes. Shirt off.” I barely finish what I’m saying before he’s whipping it over his head, and coming right back against my chest, pushing my bra down and squeezing my breast up into his mouth.
“Please, Willa. Don’t make me wait,” he mutters against my chest. “I need to get inside you.”
I rub against his thigh, using it to get friction between my legs. Keeping a rhythm of running my hand up and down his length as it pulses against my palm.
“Pants,” I moan when he pulls the cup down on the other side before sucking my nipple between his teeth. “Now,” I groan, unable to form full sentences.
Standing in my skates, I quickly pull my leggings and underwear down together, and hold on to the glass to keep myself from falling over.
“Fuck me. Now,” I order with my hands pressed against the glass.
“I fucking love when you boss me around.” Carter stands behind me, lifting my hips out and lining himself up.
He thrusts in, pushing me against the glass without any hesitation.
“Shit,” he groans and wraps his arm around my chest. Cupping my breast to rub and pinch my nipple, holding me up to keep me from being banged into the glass while he keeps thrusting into me.
“Carter.” I reach back, needing to touch him in this small glass box we’re in. Anywhere. Everywhere. I need to feel him.
He moves his hand up, turning my chin to the side and taking my lips in his.
“I’m right here,” he whispers with a moan against my lips.
He holds me against him, keeping his lips pressed against mine.
His hand moves down between my legs as he keeps thrusting inside me, gliding his fingers through my slit and pressing quick pulses against my clit in tandem with the quick thrusts of his hips.
Goosebumps form over my damp skin as my breasts brush against the cold, fogged glass. Heat and ice clash in the small box of the chilled rink.
“Willa,” Carter groans.
His grip on my jaw tightens, while his hand presses hard against my clit and his cock pulses inside me.
A sharp gasp leaves my lips as my body tenses and the wave shoots through my limbs. My fingers dig and scratch into his flesh as it soars through me.
He pulls out of me and I turn away to rest against the glass. My hot breath fans against the cold, wet glass.
Kneeling down, Carter slowly pulls my underwear back up my legs, and then my leggings, taking his time to rub and smooth the tight muscles in my thighs.
I’m turned around, and he fixes my bra before holding up my shirt to help me back in it.
“I didn’t…” I stop to catch my breath, realizing I didn’t slap him like he always asks. Here I am, sedated in my post orgasm bliss, and Carter… did he come? “Do you want me to?” I place my hand over his cheek. I couldn’t do it if he asked.
Carter sits on the bench, looking up at me. He turns my palm, pressing his lips to the top of my wrist.
“No, all I need is you.” He pulls his shirt over his head to cover the beautiful artwork that adorns his thick pecs. “I’d love to stay to do more.” He presses into me and rubs his hands down my arms, smoothing away the chilled bumps. “But we should leave before we get caught. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
Carter leans in, kissing me softly and sending more of those hot chills through my body.
“Do you want to skate one more time around?” He holds the door open and guides me out once I slip my fleece back on.
“No.” I shake my head. “My legs feel like jello.”
Holding myself up while Carter railed into me took a lot of my leg strength. I have a lot more work cut out for me to get back to where I was physically.
“In that case...” With no warning, Carter scoops me into his arms to carry me to the exit across the way.
I squeal and clutch onto him while he laughs at me. He kisses me again as he sets me down on the players’ bench to take off my skates.
Not letting me do it myself, he drapes my legs over his and unties the laces before slipping them off my feet and slipping on my comfy winter boots.
There’s a silky warmth wrapping around me with the extra attention that he gives. He’s always taken care of me, putting my needs first, and never asking for anything in return.
“Carter,” I question him when he takes my bag with his and holds my hand to lead the way for our exit. “What are we?”
He squints back at me over his shoulder in the narrow hall.
“What do you mean?” He waits until we’re outside to answer. “We’re whatever you want us to be.”
He holds the door open for me to climb up into his passenger seat, and I wait until he climbs in on the other side. Taking my hand from my lap, he laces our fingers together.
“I know I’m not the best guy for you.” He clears his throat and continues the short drive to my house. “But I want to try to be. I would like to try.”
“You don’t have to try so hard.” I give his hand a squeeze. “You’re already a great guy, but I thought you didn’t want a girlfriend or anything serious.”
I never even considered the idea of being with Carter. It was always an impossibility. But now that the thought is there, it feels like we’ve always been together.
“I have a shitty life, Willa.” He squeezes my hand back and raises our entwined fingers to give my knuckles a kiss. “I can’t drag you into that, but I can keep you from it. If you don’t want to be my girlfriend, I’ll understand. I’ll take whatever I can get.”
He pulls to a stop along the curb just past my house because of the cars already parked in front of it.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re nothing like your father.” I take his other hand and hold them between us. “You’re not him, and…” I pause to think it over. Is this what I really want? Do I want to be Carter’s girlfriend?
I look back at my house. Jocelyn will be upset, but when she kissed him, it felt like I was being checked into the boards without any padding to protect the soul-crushing pain across my chest.
Carter is the first guy that ever made me feel really wanted. He’s the first person to support and encourage me. It’s so different from what I had with Vic, but it’s exactly what I need. It’s more than I ever thought I wanted.
I’m nervous about saying yes, but I’m more scared of what would happen if I say no.
He lifts his eyebrows, waiting for me to say it, hopeful that the answer is yes.
“I want to give us a try.” I nod and lean in to kiss him, pressing my lips to his full, soft mouth.
How could I doubt this? His lips feel like home. They belong to me.
“Yeah?” He smirks as I pull away. “I want to keep kissing and making love to you.” He eyes my packed house behind my shoulder.
“What happened to fucking my,” I swallow my pride to say the word in his voice, “pussy?”
“I can’t believe you said it,” he gasps dramatically.
“Shut up.” I lightly slap his chest.
“I don’t want to fuck you, Willa.” His deep russet eyes pull my attention with certainty. “I’m all in.”
I kiss him again.
I’m happy. Truly happy. This is the best day I’ve had since I broke my ankle. I can skate again, and this is the start of something new. It’s a fresh start.
“We should get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.” I turn down his attempt to follow me inside.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” His finger drops from the ignition.
More importantly, I have to talk to Jocelyn before taking him to my room in front of her. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I don’t think it’s necessary to tell her right away. I’ll have to feel her out and then come clean.
She’ll understand. She told me Carter let her down gently, but she never said how or why, and it didn’t seem to bother her as much as I thought it would.
It isn’t going to be fun telling anyone that even when they accused us of being more; we weren’t, but we are now. I don’t think everyone will like it, but this is my life.
I kiss Carter one more time, lingering against his lips before heading in and watching him drive off to go home.
My eyes follow his car, turning toward the direction of the Hockey House.
He’s going home. Where else would he be going?
It’s late and we have practice tomorrow, but that never stopped Vic from continuing his parties.
Carter isn’t Vic.
I trust Carter.
I can trust him.