20. Chapter 20
Charlotte
It feels so freeing to have that cast removed even though I’m not looking forward to learning how to use my crutches, or the weeks of PT I now have to endure. But if it means Jake’s freedom from me and releasing him from this nightmare, then that’s a good thing.
Keep telling yourself that Charlotte and one day you might just believe it. Just like this therapy will help me with my memories. Yeah right.
When we left Dr. Carter's office, I was determined to use my crutches. I didn’t realize how difficult they would be to use, though. I’m stumbling and wobbling all over the place, but I need to do this.
“Come on, Lotts, use the chair for now. You’ve literally just got the cast off. You can practice with the crutches once we’re back at yours,” Jake says to me.
He’s hovering, hands out to catch me with every step I take.
Even the other patients around us are holding their breaths.
Finally, I relent and get into the wheelchair.
I’ve only managed about a hundred yards, but it feels good to take the weight off.
I can’t wait for the days when I’ll be able to run and practice yoga again.
The journey home seems to take forever. I suppose it doesn’t help that I’ve gone silent on Jake again. I just feel so awkward and guilty, and then I don’t know what to say so I keep quiet.
“I’ve arranged for the girls to come round and see you when we get back. I need to get a workout in with the guys. Plus, I thought it would be good for you to see Alyssa and Kayla. You haven’t really seen them since the accident,” Jake says while concentrating on the road in front of him.
Another thing to feel guilty for—I’ve neglected my friends.
I’m sure they understand, but the thought makes my stomach turn.
I plaster on the happiest voice I can and turn to Jake, “Sounds great, I can’t wait to see everybody.
” It’s not a total lie, but I’d really like to wallow alone in my bedroom right now.
Settled on the sofa with my chamomile tea, I wait for the girls to arrive. Jake’s taken Bella for a walk before he goes for his workout, so I have a moment to text Wren.
Charlotte - Hey! I had my cast off today!
Wren - Hey stranger, glad to hear it. Why haven’t I heard from you?
Charlotte - I’m not exactly cheerful right now and didn’t want to bring you down with me.
Wren - Bitch don’t be silly, I’m your bestie. You’re going through a shitty time. Lean on people.
Charlotte - Kayla and Alyssa are coming over today.
Wren - That’s great, it’ll be good for you to see them.
Charlotte - I know, I’ll make more effort I promise
Wren - Good!! Don’t make me come down there!!
Charlotte - I wish you would
Wren - I’ll come back soon I promise
Charlotte - Love you
Wren - Love you more
The door opens and Bella comes skidding in, nearly diving headfirst into her water bowl as Jake walks through the door, shirtless with his T-shirt draped across the back of his neck.
Holy hotness, look at those abs. He could easily pass for one of my book cover models.
He clocks me staring, and I don’t have time to correct myself before he smirks at me, “See something you like?”
My cheeks heat and I look away quickly. Shit.
I’m saved from my embarrassment by a knock at the door. Jake pulls his shirt back on to answer, and in walks Kayla, Alyssa, and Hannah. Giving a quick goodbye, Jake leaves with his workout bag in hand.
Kayla rushes over and wraps me in a tight hug, if my ribs weren’t already broken, they probably would be now.
“Do not scare us like that again, ok? I know I saw you in the hospital, but still, you scared the bejesus out of me.”
I gaze up into her beautiful green eyes and her fire engine red hair she’s wearing today, and just take her in.
This woman is stunning, and just looking at her makes me so jealous.
I wish I was more like her; she gives zero fucks and is unapologetically herself.
I can only aspire to be like that. Kayla also runs the most amazing organization—she’s an aesthetician specializing in tattooing for cancer survivors and sufferers of alopecia.
It’s something very close to her heart, and she’s also extremely talented.
“Stop crowding her for fuck’s sake, she’s probably had enough of everyone coddling her.” Alyssa rolls her eyes.
She’s not wrong. Alyssa is an influencer for anything beauty-related, posting regular makeup tutorials on how to recreate famous celebrity looks.
She’s really popular and has over a million subscribers on YouTube.
Her own signature style is all dark hair, winged eyeliner, and red lipstick, and she never goes anywhere without her Doc Martens.
I’d call it grunge chic, but she makes it look incredible.
Hannah goes straight to the kitchen to unload a variety of snacks she’s brought with her, and Bella is at her heels, tail whipping around for attention. Picking her up, Hannah nuzzles Bella.
“Hey, sweet girl, have you been looking after your mama?”
She coos at my little dog. Her response is a lick to the face, which makes Hannah laugh. “Thanks, Bella boo, you’re such a good girl, aren’t you?”
Bella is lapping up all the attention, and I can’t help but smile.
Kayla sidles up next to me on the sofa and I instinctively rest my head on her shoulder as she wraps an arm around me.
“I brought spa supplies with me. I thought we could have a mini spa day. Some pampering always makes you feel good.”
“That sounds wonderful,” I say to her, because it does. I need this time to relax and just let my brain be numb for a moment.
“Great! Girls, what treatments are we thinking? I’ve brought everything with me, so we can do mani-pedis, facials, the works.” Kayla looks at me for my choice.
“I’d love a mani-pedi if that’s ok? Just don’t be put off by my fuzzy leg.”
“Charlie, babe, you can have whatever you want. I can put some hair removal cream on your legs if you like? It’s what I’m here for. Now, let’s crack open some drinks and snacks then we can get started.”
Alyssa goes to help her mom bring in the drinks and snacks that she’s beautifully laid out. Bella’s now interested in the new toy Hannah brought over for her and is lying happily on her bed attacking it.
Kayla gets the foot spas set up first, so we can all soak our feet for a bit whilst she gets everything out needed for an afternoon of pampering. “So,” she starts, “have you had any memories come back yet?”
“Nope, nothing. I know it hasn’t been long, and I’ve had other things to focus on, but I just feel so guilty about it.”
“Babe, don’t be so hard on yourself. Like you said, you’ve got other stuff on your mind right now. They’ll come, I'm sure of it.”
“It’s such a weird feeling, you know? Jake knows things about me and, at some point, I would have known these things about him too, but now I just…don’t.”
It's a sobering thought and it makes me want to try harder to remember, but at the same time, hide away so I don’t disappoint him if I can’t.
I need to get on to happier topics; I can’t bum the girls out with my moping.
“So, what’s been happening these last few weeks?”
“Well, our resident French Canadian was nearly caught with his pants down again,” Alyssa mentions.
“Hey, if you got it, flaunt it, and my husband most certainly has it,” Kayla says as she files her nails, a huge grin on her face.
“That may be so, but all of San Diego does not need to see the goods on the regular. I think I’ve seen his dick more than anyone else’s,” Alyssa shudders and pulls her phone out.
She’s been glued to it pretty much since she’s got here. Who is she talking to so much?
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Louis’ dick, it’s a work of art, and the things he can do with it?” Kayla trails off as she sighs dreamily. “Come on, Mama S, you’re on my side, right?”
Hannah laughs, shaking her head, “Kayla honey. I’m sure it’s absolutely magnificent, but do you think he could just keep it in his pants until he gets home?”
“Yeah, K, could you please stop encouraging him to strip in public when he’s drunk?”
“This is a public service I’m offering. Charlie, you must agree?”
I’m laughing so hard at Kayla’s antics right now, and it feels amazing to be this free for the first time in weeks.
“God, I’ve missed you. Never change, Kay, never change.”
But the good times are fleeting, and that black storm cloud will wash over me as soon as my girls leave.