30. Chapter 30
Charlotte
The buzzing of my phone wakes me from my dream, where I have been replaying that almost kiss Jake and I shared.
Then, like a bucket of ice water is dumped over my head, I remember my Google sleuthing, where I very quickly realized I am just not Jake’s type and it’s probably a good thing we didn’t get to kiss.
I still can’t help but feel saddened, though.
Luckily, Jake’s gone for a workout with his teammates and will be gone for a good part of the day. I can wallow in self-pity for a while before the girls come over for book club.
Dragging myself outside for some breakfast and journaling, I make a note of the memory I recalled yesterday, and obviously that moment we shared. I try to capture as much detail as possible to show my therapist in my next appointment.
Looking down at my watch, I realize I need to get a move on and quickly jump in the shower before the girls arrive.
Kayla is the first one to turn up, and I’m actually really pleased; I need to talk to someone who isn’t related to Jake about yesterday.
Pulling her quickly through the door and into the kitchen, she puffs out, “Woah, woah, woah, where’s the fire?
” as she drops her Louis Vuitton bag down on the counter.
“I need to talk to someone about Jake, who's not related to him,” I tell her as I take a seat at the table, my crutches crashing down next to me. She sits across from me, looking very intrigued.
“Spill the tea, girl, tell me everything.” I’m not sure there’s a whole lot to tell, but I just need to work through my thoughts.
“So yesterday, Jake and I almost kissed,” I say, hiding behind my hair.
Her hands slam on the table, and she screeches out a, “What the fuck! This is so exciting! Oh my god, it’s happening!”
“Calm down, it was almost a kiss, the moment was shattered before it even started,” I try to hide the frustration in my voice. “But it’s probably for the best. I’m not his type, after all.”
“Wait. What makes you think that?” she asks, seeming genuinely perplexed.
“Well, I got to snooping last night while Jake took Bella out.” My eyes are downcast as I remember what I saw on the internet not so long ago.
“Hmmm, I think you’re reading this all wrong. Jake wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to, and he certainly wouldn’t set out to hurt you. He’s a good guy.”
“I really wanted it to happen,” I admit it for the first time out loud. “I really like him, and I wanted my first kiss to be with him.”
“Wait, what? Back up. Your first kiss ever? Not just your first kiss with Jake?” She looks like she’s about to fall off the chair.
“Yep, as in my first kiss ever. You have to remember, Kay, I’m painfully shy when it comes to men. There was never an opportunity for a first kiss.”
Or is there another reason why I never kissed anyone else? Either way, I can’t believe I just admitted that out loud. What must she think?
Kayla goes to respond just as the door chimes, and Hannah and Alyssa come in. Puck Sluts Book Club is about to restart for the first time since the accident, and I can’t wait to change the subject. Kayla shoots me a look that screams, “This isn’t over.”
We head out onto the terrace as the sun is shining, and as Kayla said, it’s very important to get that vitamin D—although I can’t be sure we’re talking about the same thing.
“So, what did everyone think of Wren’s latest book?
I know we’ve texted about it in the group chat, but what are everyone's final thoughts?” I ask around a generous sip of iced coffee.
I need to distract myself from thinking about yesterday; my mind is all over the place.
Why am I even overthinking this? Literally nothing happened.
“Can I start by saying what a swoon Bridger is? Where do I get one of those from?” Alyssa starts, a hand on her forehead as if she’s about to faint.
“He certainly gives Louis a run for his money, although when he speaks French to me, I swear I shed a tear from between my thighs,” Kayla chimes in.
Alyssa gags, “Jesus, Kay, too much information right there.” Kayla snickers, pleased she’s managed to gross Alyssa out.
“I’m still loving James over here, maybe it’s because he’s a bit older and Sarah is closer to my age,” Hannah smiles softly, and I can see Alyssa smiling too. Like maybe all isn’t lost for her sweet mom to find love again.
“I would also like to say I have never wanted to kick someone in the crotch as much as Darcy, what a bitch!” Kayla says as her face turns slightly murderous.
“Well, I’m still crushing hard on Carter over here. I hope I don’t have to wait too long for his and Lola’s book. It’s so clear they both love each other, but neither will do anything about it,” I say, jutting out my lower lip.
“Huh,” Kayla muses. “Where have I heard that before? Two people who are quite clearly in love with each other but refuse to do anything about it? Gosh, I can’t begin to think.” She raises an eyebrow at me. She’s wrong—I’m not in love with Jake, and he is certainly not in love with me.
“Who do we think will be next in the series?” I say, changing the subject. “Maybe Jamie and Maya?”
“Nah, that’s what Wren wants us to think. I think it’s going to be Amber, but I’m not sure who the love interest will be. Maybe it will be the lawyer she’s working with. They have that whole enemies to lovers vibe,” Alyssa mumbles around a cupcake.
“We will have to wait and see; I know she’s putting out a teaser later on this week, so we’ll soon find out who’s right. In the meantime, shall we pick our next read?”
“I actually have a suggestion. I saw someone talking about this book on TikTok and I am desperate to read it,” Kayla says, almost bouncing out of her chair.
“What’s it called?” I ask, Kindle in hand ready to download it.
“It’s called For The Fans by Nyla K. It’s basically about two stepbrothers who set up an OnlyFans account to raise money to stay in college, and the best bit?
They’re doing stuff to each other!” She's almost vibrating now. “I’m not sure if you all would be into two guys getting it on, though?” She checks around the table.
“I must admit, I’ve never read anything like that before, but I’d be happy to give it a try,” Hannah says.
Alyssa wrinkles her nose and looks absolutely horrified at the idea of her mom reading anything like that. I think she forgets Hannah has had sex before, and from what Hannah’s said, it used to be a lot.
“I’ve actually read some MM romances before and I really like them,” I say as Alyssa and Kayla look at me slack-jawed. “What? I may be inexperienced, but I’m not a prude.”
That’s another thing I hate: everyone thinks, just because I’m a virgin at twenty-six, I must be some sort of innocent little schoolgirl.
Am I a bit sheltered? Yes. Am I a bit nervous around the opposite sex?
Also, yes. But it doesn’t mean I haven’t read or seen things to do with sex.
In fact, romance readers probably know more about it than anyone else.
“So, it’s decided? For the Fans will be our next read?” I’m definitely ready to move on to something else.
“So, where’s Jake today?” Hannah asks whilst she strokes Bella.
That dog is obsessed with Hannah, and I can’t blame her. She’s so warm and affectionate, you can’t help but love her.
“He’s gone to morning skate with the guys and then I think he’s going back to his apartment for a bit.”
“I hate that place," Alyssa says. “It’s so…”
“Sterile?” Kayla finishes for her.
“Yes! It’s like no one lives there.”
I’m curious now about Jake’s place. “What do you mean?”
“It’s literally like a mausoleum, babe. You’ve been there before, but it’s so lackluster it’s no wonder you haven’t recovered your memory of it,” Kayla teases.
“Are there any updates on you and Jake?” Alyssa asks as she takes a sip of her drink.
My cheeks heat, and Kayla eyes me over the rim of her sunglasses. I’m not entertaining this, especially with his sister of all people, so I keep it as vague as possible because I don’t even know what’s going on at this point.
“We’re just friends, you know? Getting to know each other again.”
Thankfully, the girls drop the subject, although Kayla mutters something about discussing it later. Then we sit and enjoy the sun, gossiping. I’ve missed my girls; I’m so grateful Jake dragged me out of my room that day, even if it was the last thing I wanted at the time.
Alyssa’s phone dings—it’s been doing that all afternoon. I manage to catch the name ‘Boo’. Who's Boo? Is she seeing someone?
About an hour later, Jake walks in with Codey, Louis, and Theo trailing behind him.
“Hey, everyone,” he puts a hand up to wave. “I hope you don’t mind, Lotts, but I brought the guys back with me.” He winces like he should have asked me first. I’m happy he did, I haven’t seen the guys in a long time, and I miss them.
I wave over to them, saying, “Hey guys, come take a seat, I’ve missed you.”
They all come and hug me as they sit down at the table.
Louis steps toward Kayla. “Bonjour, Chérie,” he says in a delectable French accent that has, not only Kayla, but the whole table swooning.
He bends over and gives her a chaste kiss on her lips before she gets up so he can sit down with her on his lap.
He whispers something in her ear, and I see her physically shudder and bite his ear.
It’s probably for the best I can't hear them. They’ve always been on the verge of too much.
Codey takes a seat in between Hannah and Alyssa, who is currently fiddling with her choker. He grunts out a greeting to them; he’s not much of a talker.
“Hey, boo,” Alyssa greets Theo as he sits next to her, and cuddles into her as she strokes his hair. Did she just call him what I think she did?
“How was book club?” Louis asks Kayla.
“It was great, we’re going to be reading an MM romance next.”
“MM? What does that mean?”
“It means like two dudes getting it on. Double the dick.” Subtlety isn’t Kayla’s strong point.
Theo looks up from Alyssa’s shoulder and she returns his gaze. “It’s going to be so hot. It’s called For the Fans by Nyla K if any of you guys want to read it,” she winks.
There’s a collective groan. “We don’t have time for reading. Pre-season is starting soon and we’ve got to be ready,” Codey says in an authoritative voice, one that makes you want to say, “Yes sir, how high, sir.”
“We still have months, Cap, calm down.” Theo rolls his eyes and shoves a whole cupcake in his mouth. Classy.
We all fall into our own conversations, and it feels so familiar. For the first time in forever, I can genuinely say I’m happy. This calls for a celebration.
“Wine, anybody?”