31. Chapter 31
Jake
The sunset tonight is breathtaking. The pinks and oranges blended together and reflecting off the ocean has me mesmerized, but nothing compares to the girl currently cuddled up next to me under the blanket, sipping on her wine.
After everyone left, we stayed out here and enjoyed an early dinner of gambas pil pil with salad and potatoes.
We’re now enjoying another bottle of white wine along with some strawberries.
Lottie is definitely tipsy, her eyes are a little glassy and she’s definitely more handsy than she’s ever been with me if the fingers swirling around on my thigh are any indication.
She reaches over and grabs a strawberry, taking a big bite.
Juices spill down her chin and I am desperate to lick up every last drop.
But instead, being the gentleman I am, I swipe the juice up with my thumb before sucking it into my mouth.
Yeah, much more gentlemanly. I see the moment her pupils dilate at my action and fuck does it make me want to kiss her.
I bite back my groan. We were so close yesterday, and now I can’t do it because she’s drunk.
Catching me completely off guard, she looks me dead in the eye and whispers, “Why didn’t you kiss me yesterday, J?”
I groan, that nickname does me in. Her palm reaches up and caresses my cheek and I lean into it, desperate to have her hands on me.
I feel that small touch everywhere and my heart feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest. I need to reign it in.
“Because, if you remember correctly, your stomach interrupted us.”
She giggles at my words and ends up on a hiccup. Yep, she’s definitely had enough to drink. “But I’m not hungry now. Well, not for food, anyways,” she says, her thumb running along my bottom lip.
The wine is making her bold, and I need to stop this before it goes too far and we do something we can’t take back, but I just can’t bring myself to.
I find the willpower and resolve from somewhere, and—God—do I deserve a medal because I grab her hand and pull it away from my face, holding it in mine. “Lotts, you're drunk, sweetheart. This isn’t the right time.”
She huffs and folds her hands across her chest. “I’m not that drunk. I’m still me, just looser, freer. I’m trying to take what I want, but I get it, you don’t want me. I’ve seen the girls you go for.”
She’s about to move away from me, but I’m not having that. So, with the devil on my shoulder, I mutter, “Fuck it,” and crash my lips to hers.
It’s not the gentle, tender kiss it would have been last night. This one is hungry, almost violent, both of us pouring into it everything we’ve wanted to say but have been unable to. She grabs onto my shirt, pulling me closer, and moans into my mouth, which goes straight to my dick.
The fog clears for a moment, and I remember that I’m pretty sure this is Lottie’s first kiss.
I slow the tempo down, letting my lips caress hers and take in the moment that is very likely about to change our lives forever.
I slide my tongue along her lips, begging for entry.
She finally opens up, letting her tongue play with mine.
The taste of wine and strawberries is intoxicating, and I can’t bring myself to stop.
I pull her onto my lap, and by the little whimper that escapes her, I’m sure she can feel how hard I am for her.
Her hands fist my hair, tugging on the strands, and I groan, the pain adding to my pleasure.
My hand slides from her jaw up to her cheek, cupping it lightly while the other grips her hip, pinning her in place.
The feeling is euphoric, the highest of highs, like I’ve just won the Stanley Cup.
My skin heats as my dick hardens further.
I have wanted this moment for so long, and now I have it, I can’t seem to stop.
Eventually, she pulls away, and rests her forehead against mine. I’m in this lust-filled haze, but everything comes crashing back down to earth when Lottie quickly gets off me and throws up in the planter next to us.
What have I done?
I rubbed Lottie’s back and held her hair away from her face while she puked in her bathroom. It was not how I imagined this evening going.
Now, she’s tucked up in bed, all that’s running through my mind is I’ve fucked this friendship up.
I took advantage of my best friend. I should have said no, but I couldn’t resist. The way she was looking at me like she wanted to devour me whole, the taste of her sweet lips on mine.
It was everything I’ve ever wanted and didn’t think I could have.
And now I feel like the biggest piece of shit.
As soon as her head hits the pillow, she’s out like a light, a quiet snore coming from her.
I brush the hair away from her face and whisper, “I love you,” before going to my own room to sleep.
I think we both need some space tonight, and no doubt Lottie is going to have a shit load of regrets come morning.
I leave a bottle of water and some Tylenol by her bed for when she wakes up.
Bella looks up at me as I leave the room, and I whisper to her, “Make sure she’s ok for me. ”
I head back outside and clean the planter, not wanting Lottie to have to deal with the mess she made of her flowers.
Plus, I need to clear my head, it’s all over the place right now.
My heart is galloping like a horse competing in its first race.
That kiss was everything to me, the way we slotted together so perfectly like it was meant to be.
It’s what should have happened the night of the masquerade ball.
That thought is quickly extinguished when I remember how drunk she was.
No matter which way I spin this, I took advantage of her when she was intoxicated, even though she did tell me she wasn’t that drunk, and I believed her.
But at the same time, I can’t even begin to regret it.
I’ve never felt so alive as I did in those moments—and I play hockey for a living.
I sit outside with my head in my hands, thinking over the possible scenarios of what the morning will bring, and I decide to follow Lottie's lead. Even if it ends up not being the outcome I’d like. Actually, fuck that—I’ll make her see this is what I want, what I need. What we both need.