Chapter 18b CJ
“Uncle Christopher, this is Jana Reynolds. Jana, this is my father, Christopher Caldwell.”
Diesel had never referred to Uncle Christopher as his father to anyone. It was always inferred, never stated. But no one batted an eye as he nudged Jana toward the breakfast table where CJ, Ransom, and Ryder sat on one side with Bishop and Kaia on the other and Uncle Christopher at the head.
His prolonged study of Jana unnerved Diesel and he tightened his hold on her. After a sleepless night, he met the sunrise with renewed determination to move Jana in as soon as possible.
The very idea of admitting what he had to Rebel had him running scared, so the moment his alarm went off, he called Jana and told her to pack her things. Today was moving day.
He’d left not long after, even ignoring Axel’s call to keep his head clear.
“N-nice to meet you, sir,” Jana squeaked, holding out her hand and trembling slightly.
Grunting, Uncle Christopher glanced at her hand, then met her gaze again.
Jana bit down on her lip and glanced at Diesel, equal parts uncertain and fearful. He wondered at her reaction.
“I’m CJ,” CJ said, kind as ever. “Diesel’s brother. That’s Ransom. Ryder. Bishop. And Kaia.” He pointed to the owner each time he said a name. “Welcome and nice to meet you.”
“Ignore Dad,” Ryder advised. “He’s not going to be nice until Mom gets home.”
“We won’t bite,” Ransom said. “At least not until Diesel marries you and you become our sister too.”
“You bite Rebel?” Kaia asked, the sound of his voice grating on Diesel.
Grinning, Ransom nodded. “We used to, but we don’t anymore.”
“Yeah, ‘cause the Blonde Viper will bite us back.” Ryder cocked his head to the side. “Do you bite your little brothers back?”
“Uh, I-I don’t have little brothers. I’m an only child.”
“Not anymore,” Ryder said cheerfully. “You’re marrying Diesel, so you’re marrying us. You have little brothers now.”
“Really?” Jana asked hopefully, her stomach growling as Axel’s ringtone pealed through the room.
Uncle Christopher and the boys stared at Diesel’s pocket.
“Answer it,” Uncle Christopher ordered hoarsely, the first time he’d spoken since Diesel arrived with Jana.
“Morning, Ax,” he greeted when he followed Uncle Christopher’s orders.
“We got a problem, Diesel,” Axel said without preamble.
Sighing, Diesel guided Jana to a seat and laid his phone on the table, putting on the speaker before turning to the buffet and poured two glasses of orange juice.
“What might that be?” Diesel asked, bringing both glasses to the table and handing one to Jana. He sipped from his. “Other than the obvious.”
“It’s Gypsy,” Axel spat.
Diesel exchanged a frown with Uncle Christopher. “Derby’s woman?”
“She told Reb you slept with her.”
“That cunt did what?” Diesel roared, almost forgetting Uncle Christopher’s presence. Almost. “Any particular reason why that fucking bitch discussed her sex life with a child?”
“Mom was really mad and sent Gypsy home,” Axel responded, not answering Diesel’s question. “I wanted to tell you last night, but I didn’t know how with Rebel right there and already upset about Torie.”
Draining his glass of orange juice, Diesel slammed the glass on the table and growled in frustration.
“Anyway, I have to go. Aunt Kendall, Mattie, Aunt Zoann, Harley…well everybody is leaving this afternoon. They have to pack.”
Diesel understood the relief on everyone’s faces. He felt it deep in his bones. “What time are you are getting in?”
“We aren’t, although Mom said I can come home with everyone else. I’m still thinking about it. She definitely isn’t coming back today. Neither is Reb. I’m scared if I leave without them, Mom and Reb will forget about us and decide not to come back. She’s even sending Gunner back home.”
The stark look on Uncle Christopher’s face matched the hollowness Diesel suddenly felt. He didn’t even respond when Jana grabbed his hand, instead standing as still as a statue, afraid of what this meant for their family.
CJ was as ashen as Uncle Christopher, Bishop, and Kaia. Ryder and Ransom squirmed in their seats and pressed their lips together.
“I broke into Mom’s room to steal a Milky Way from her purse,” Axel continued. “It wasn’t really stealing ‘cause I left a penny with a note asking for my change.”
Leave it to Axel to lighten the mood.
Unable to stop his smile, Diesel shook his head and finally squeezed Jana’s hand before pulling his away. “You can’t get fucking change for a penny, Ax.”
“What about the ha’penny?”
“That was in the UK,” Diesel said, “and discontinued decades ago.”
“Don’t we have something similar?”
“We had the half cent,” Diesel said, “pulled from production over a hundred years before the ha’penny.”
“Oh brother! I’m going to have to sneak into her room again and take my fucking penny back.”
A half-smile curved Uncle Christopher’s lips.
“Anyway, my penny and Mom’s last candy bar isn’t the point. She was sleeping in Dad’s shirt. I think she misses him, but she’s mad again.”
“Because of Rebel,” Diesel gritted. Fucking Gypsy and her big fucking mouth.
“She’s mad because of Father Wilkins too,” Axel announced.
“Spying is so fucking hard, D. But I try to keep tabs on Mom and I heard her talking to Aunt Bunny. She said she wanted to call Dad and Aunt Bunny told her that was probably a good idea. Then, Mom started to cry again because Dad’s a stupid motherfucker. ”
“Aunt Meggie said that?”
“Didn’t we go over this on another call? Mom thinks Dad is brilliant. Just like she thinks he’s good.” And again the little motherfucker roared with laughter. “Then she started talking weird about Dad being Christopher and Outlaw.”
“He’s Christopher to us and Outlaw to the world.”
“Yeah, well, he needs to be Outlaw for Mom too ‘cause Christopher is a fucking jackass. He’s soft and changes his mind a lot. And he lets everybody disrespect his woman,” Axel said in disgust.
“Ax–”
“I figured Mom was going back to her room, so I snuck in and hid under her bed. She didn’t take too long showering and stuff, but this is what made her mad at the priest.”
Diesel had almost forgotten that.
“She asked for him to arrange a visit with Rule and he told her no. Mom begged him, too. I felt really sorry for her because she was crying then too and she ran to the bathroom. That was when I escaped. And then this morning Aunt Zoann woke us up to let us know the new schedule. Nobody told me Mom was staying because of those other stuffs, but as much as she misses Dad, she would’ve come home too if Father Wilkins had been just a little nicer.
But everybody’s being mean to Mom. It made me wish that motherfucker had burned in that fucking fire instead of him being allowed to fucking live. ”
Diesel straightened. “What the fuck did you say?”
“Mom asked about how the priest was and how glad she was that he was able to make it out before the fire and smoke overwhelmed him. That motherfucker said he was lucky he’d been shown mercy and not met a gruesome and bloody death.”
“An odd choice of words but–”
“But nothing,” Axel said in frustration. “Shouldn’t he have said a smoky death? Why bloody? I think that rectory was burned on purpose and somebody let him live. That’s how Dad would think. Haven’t you been in the fucking club for a century already? Do you believe in incidences?”
He wouldn’t bother to correct Axel.
“This is too big of a one, D. That’s why I’m probably coming home ‘cause I need to question Uncle Johnnie. That motherfucker knows what happened. He might’ve even set the stupid fire.”
“How about you call Uncle Christopher?” Diesel suggested, his mind whirling.
Judging by his narrowed eyes, so was Uncle Christopher’s.
“Nope, ‘cause I don’t want to feel sorry for Dad, and I know I will ‘cause I know he’s sad about Mom.”
“He deserves sympathy.”
“Nope. He sure doesn’t. Neither does you, me, CJ, Ransom, or Ryder. We all hurt Mom. I’ve had to listen to that woman suffer because of us and that wears on a man, Diesel.”
It sure the fuck did. “Can I talk to her?” he whispered.
“You’re going to upset her, then I won’t make a…formed decision. It’ll be biased.”
“Very well said, little brother,” Diesel said quietly. “But it’s informed.” He would know biased in a legal framework. “And I promise I won’t upset her. I just want to say ‘hi’ to her.”
“Fine,” Axel said with a sigh. “Just remember, I reserve the right to disconnect and never trust you with her feelings again. Mom!”
The sound of little feet running over hardwood traveled through the line before a quick knock, then a door creaking.
“Mom! Diesel’s on the phone. Oh, hey, Reb.”
Agitation slid into Diesel.
“You both look so pretty.”
“Put the phone on speaker, son,” Aunt Meggie instructed.
“There you go. Diesel–”
“I’m going downstairs, Momma,” Rebel said, so sad and defeated.
Diesel glanced at Jana. Her fear had evaporated, and she sat in her chair so sweetly and innocently. Trusting. But suddenly he knew he’d made a monumental mistake by bringing her there today. He should’ve waited until Rebel was back.
“But I want to swim with you,” Axel said as if he were responding to something Diesel missed.
“I don’t like swimming,” Rebel said.
“Yes, you do!” Axel protested.
“Sit, Rebel,” Aunt Meggie instructed. “What can I do for you, Diesel?”
“I-I just wanted to hear your voice,” Diesel told her. “I-I miss you.”
A sniffle traveled through the line. At first he thought it was Aunt Meggie until he heard Axel say, “Don’t cry, Reb. I won’t ask you to swim no more.”
Diesel closed his eyes, the sound of Rebel’s heartache cutting through him.
“Is Jana there, Diesel?” Aunt Meggie asked.
She’d seen the cameras.
“I-I can’t wait to meet you,” Jana said, unbidden.
For the first time, he was livid with her over something other than her drug use and he opened his mouth to snap at her, especially when the sound of Rebel’s sob hit him in the center of his chest.