Chapter Twenty
For the first time in days, Harley was in the privacy of her own bedroom.
In her own bed , with the covers drawn to her chin.
It didn’t make her happy that she would have to leave again.
If Mommie and Daddy were cruel enough to force her away, Harley had absolutely no plans of talking to Aunt Zoann, especially about Ryan. He was a jackass.
The entire walk home with Daddy so she could get a few more outfits, Harley thought of ways to change her parents’ minds.
Her only solution was to have them come in and find her in bed, so she was willing herself to fall asleep.
Her parents would never wake her up and force her out into the cold stormy night.
Someone knocked on her door. Harley hunkered deeper under the covers, gripping the comforter. Her jaw was throbbing. Rebel didn’t have to punch her so hard.
“Harley?” Mommie called through the closed door.
Tension stiffened her body; she refused to answer.
Uninvited, Mommie opened the door and walked in. “Your dad got this from Val and Zoann’s…Harley?”
She clenched her jaw.
“I know you aren’t asleep.”
Harley’s nostrils flared.
“Get up now or I’ll have Lucas carry you out of this room.”
Abandoning her pretense, Harley shot into a sitting position. “Mommie, please!”
“I’m not listening. The time for such regard was earlier. Instead, you turned against me.”
“I’m sorry—”
“You aren’t. Otherwise, you wouldn’t continually do it.”
“But—”
Turning, Mommie walked to the doorway where Harley’s wheeled Winnie the Pooh suitcase stood. She rolled it in front of the window seat.
“It’s empty so you can fill it with more clothes.”
“No, Mommie, please don’t make me go!”
Her mother stared at her bruised face. “Aren’t you tired of fighting?” she asked, ignoring the plea.
Leaning back, Harley closed her eyes. “No one understands me.”
“I try to, Harley. More than you know or appreciate. But you’re right. No one understands the reason you’ve turned into such a liar. Or so incredibly vicious.”
Aunt Meggie’s asinine threats gave Harley a way to refute Mommie’s words and draw her back to her side. Mommie hadn’t appreciated how Aunt Meggie pulled rank. Except, right now, Harley was tired and the argument in her head might come out wrong and push her mother away. So, she played dumb .
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Rebel said you hit her first. You said Rebel instigated the fight by insulting you.”
Harley scrambled for an explanation.
Before she came up with anything, Daddy stuck his head in. He didn’t look at Harley. “I’m going to the club, Bailey. You’ll probably be asleep when I return, so I’ll see you in the morning.”
Panic crossed Mommie’s face. The same kind Harley felt each time she thought of losing CJ forever.
“Lucas—”
“What, Bailey?” Daddy opened the door wider. He kept his distance, not coming further into the room. “Make it quick. Digger waiting.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I’m tired of the same old bullshit. I have nothing else to say.”
Tears glistened in Mommie’s eyes and swallowed the brown. Harley saw only a brilliant green.
“I didn’t mean…I know you love me and our kids—”
“If I meet your conditions. No, fuck that. If I agree with what you see or decide. I can’t have my own fucking opinions about my children.”
A small sob escaped Mommie. “Lucas, please—”
He transferred his glare from Mommie to Harley. “Tell me the fucking truth, Harley. You raised your goddamn hand to Rebel, and she punched the fuck out of you. Right?”
Harley thought about lying and pretending indignation at her father’s lack of faith in her. But she was tired, too. She was also terrified that whoever tapped into her laptop and recorded the video of her with Ryan, would release it. More than anything, she felt so lost.
The time she’d spent with Ryan filled her with regret. Not because she hadn’t enjoyed it and not because a part of her
liked-liked him. He just wasn’t CJ. If she didn’t win back CJ, she’d live the rest of her life filled with regret. She’d compare every guy she dated to him.
Daddy began to turn.
“Yes, Daddy,” Harley blurted. “I threw the first punch.”
Her parents looked at her. Mommie with horrified eyes and Daddy with displeasure.
In that instant, Harley realized her mother had been on her side, even when she sounded so fed up before Daddy walked in.
“Why did you lie to me?” Mommie gasped.
“Does it matter?” Harley cried, responding as usual and going on the defensive. “My life is over.”
“Your life just starting, Harley,” Daddy said sharply. “But it sure the fuck not starting right . You’ve turned into a sneaky, underhanded, violent liar, and I’m so fucking disappointed in you. You’ll never know how much.”
For the first time in weeks, Harley felt her father’s pain.
She heard it in his voice and saw it on his face.
His despair penetrated Harley’s self-righteous outrage and anger.
For the first time since CJ turned his back on her, she felt truly in danger of losing her father’s love, protection, and respect.
“Daddy—”
“Lucas—”
“I don’t want to hear anything from neither one of you.
I’m fucking done. After all the fucking shit we been through, Bailey—” He looked at Harley and shook his head, the hurt on his face devastating her.
“After the disrespect you showed your mama and your grandmama. One thing I can’t ever complain about is how much Bailey love you and your brothers.
What a Mama Bear she is. And you fucking betrayed her because she wouldn’t go along with your fucked up plan?
” Anger lit his eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with you? ”
“CJ!” Harley wailed, hoping Daddy understood. “I love CJ. I want him to love me back.”
“He deserve better than a fucking schemer. He deserve a girl with honesty and integrity. He don’t deserve a dirty fucking liar who was willing to pass another motherfucker baby off as his.
He don’t deserve a selfish manipulator that wanted to pretend she was a virgin to fucking guilt him into a relationship. He deserved my baby girl. My Harley.”
His eyes watered and his voice cracked.
“Daddy, please,” Harley said, her own voice breaking. She’d never seen such betrayal and despair on her father’s face.
He swallowed, drew in a deep breath, and gave her a sad smile.
“He would’ve been lucky to have that Harley.
Level-headed. Smart. With a smile that lit up the room.
So fucking gorgeous inside and out.” He glanced at the floor and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“It don’t matter. You not that girl no more.
The girl you turned into don’t deserve CJ. ”
Mommie hiccupped. She’d been quietly weeping. “And you, Lucas?” she pushed out. “Who do you deserve?”
“I deserve a woman who respect me as her man. I don’t deserve your bullshit every time I pass my opinion about Harley.
I don’t deserve the fucking schemes that could’ve gotten me fucking killed.
That can still get me fucked up. Meggie fed up.
Now, Outlaw in the fucking mix. How the fuck you think that turning out for me, Bailey?
I’m not a perfect motherfucker, but the only fucking thing I have ever done once I accepted your love is love you back and protect you and provide for you.
From the first fucking moment I met you, I wanted you.
In our years together, that never fucking changed.
I never cheated on you. I never disparaged you…
Fuck. No. Let’s not talk about what the fuck I didn’t do. What about what the fuck I did do? ”
“Lucas, please—”
“Shut the fuck up, Bailey,” Daddy snarled.
“You started with that same motherfucking bullshit about taking up for CJ and forgetting Harley tonight. It had nothing to do with CJ. It was about Reb. I told you Harley was lying. I told you Rebel fight at the drop of a fucking hat but it’s usually because she been wronged.
Let’s talk about CJ for a minute. He wouldn’t take up for his sister if she was in the wrong.
He’s fair-minded. You want to stand ten toes down for Harley?
You carried her in your belly. You have that right.
The bullshit you hand me because of her?
Well, baby, maybe we need to divorce so you can spend the rest of your fucking life holding her down whether she’s right or wrong. ”
“Lucas, no! Please, I love you! I do. I swear,” Mommie cried.
Harley couldn’t believe how fast things were spiraling out of control. She’d been so angry that CJ didn’t care she’d had sex with Ryan. When Rebel commented, Harley struck out in fury.
Deep down, she always expected CJ, her father, Aunt Meggie, and even Lolly to forgive her no matter her actions. To witness her parents’ crisis, because of her , devastated Harley.
“Daddy, I’m so sorry. Please, please forgive me,” she cried. “Please. Don’t take it out on Mommie. She loves you and—”
“I do, Lucas. You know I do—”
“Saying it and showing it two different things, Bailey.”
“Don’t leave us,” Harley begged. “Please, please, please. Don’t. I swear I’ll behave. Please—”
“If you walk out now, you’ll scar our baby girl for life,” Mommie said.
Daddy glared at her. “First of fucking all, I’m not walking out without my baby girl. She not staying under this fucking roof. ”
“Daddy, please!” Harley screamed. She turned to her mother. “Mommie, talk to him. Tell him he can’t put me out.”
“I already told you that you can’t stay here.”
“No! No! No!”
But Mommie wasn’t listening. She turned to Daddy. “Forgive me, Lucas. I’ll do anything. If you don’t want us to have another baby, I’ll get back on birth control.”
The words sank into Harley, and she sucked in a breath. She’d briefly forgotten her mother’s desire for another baby.
“It’s not fair of me to hold you back if you want another kid,” he told her.
“With you!” Mommie said wildly. “I want it with you. No one else. If you leave—”
“Bailey, fuck, you found out you not pregnant. I’m glad. Bringing a baby into the hot mess of our fucking lives not the fucking wisest thing. Babies don’t fix fucking relationships.”
You found out you not pregnant …
The words turned over in Harley’s head. She didn’t want a little sister. She was already losing her parents’ love and attention. A new baby, especially a girl, would make it ten times worse. But, Daddy was like CJ—honorable. Daddy would never leave Mommie if she were pregnant.
“I love you, Lucas. Harley loves you. The boys. We all love you. I love you,” she repeated. “I love your smile and your sense of humor. I love the way you take care of our family and what a fabulous girl dad you are.”
“I love you too,” he said. “I just don’t fucking like you right now. You and Harley hurt the fuck out of me.”
“What about…what about…couples therapy?” Mommie croaked. “I want to save our marriage. ”
Daddy thought for a moment, then he shrugged. “I’ll try.” He didn’t sound hopeful.
Harley wasn’t sure if her father still intended to go to the club tonight, and she didn’t want to bring it up and remind him if he’d changed his mind.
Until recently, he rarely visited the club at night without Mommie.
Harley didn’t want him to go. She wanted their lives to return to normal.
Whatever that looked like, since she no longer knew.
“Daddy?” Harley said pitifully, thinking of anything to change her father’s mind. It was cold and rainy.
Folding his arms, he lifted a brow.
“Can you…can you make me some chocolate chip pancakes before we go?”
Mommie nodded. “Me, too? You haven’t made them in weeks.”
He shook his head and offered another sad smile. “Some other time. Pack some extra clothes so I can walk you to Chester’s.” He left.
Her chin trembling, Mommie stared at the spot where Daddy had stood. The scent of his cologne lingered. Although he was gone, his presence loomed large.
“He’s coming back,” Harley told her mother, unsure what to say.
“I know.” Mommie stumbled away and quietly closed Harley’s door.
A text message alert chimed. She picked up her phone and read the message.
Pillar of Earth: Log onto your computer and undress.