13. Chapter 13
Chapter 13
Alyssa
I t hadn’t been easy to convince the guys that I was going to do this alone. I could see the need to argue in Dean’s eyes especially.
I hadn’t been inside the palace since the day everyone had been slaughtered. If I was going to set out amongst my personal ghosts, then I wanted the time to face them alone. To deal with the feelings I’d kept caged inside once and for all.
And then when I was done, maybe I’d be ready to let them help me put the pieces of my soul back together.
I knew I’d regretted leaving, but I’d been able to lie to myself for all these years that it had been for the best. I’d been in denial about what would happen in Nymeria while I had a safe refuge in the human realm. Now that I was back here, it was time to face the things I’d let happen and the people it had happened to.
My footsteps echoed off the stone of the palace floor and down the empty corridor as I headed to the one place in the palace that had always been a hub for the people who lived here. The one place that would still be needed for whoever had sought refuge inside these walls, even if they appeared to be keeping their distance for now.
The smell of roasting meat floated down the corridor towards me, and I knew I’d made the right decision as I turned the last corner that led to the kitchens. It was a route I’d travelled so many times before. The kitchen door led straight out into the part of the gardens that backed onto the forest. It was where we’d grown most of our vegetables and herbs. Who knew how much of that was left after all this time?
I heard the voices of whoever was preparing food before I walked into the kitchens, and for a moment, I hesitated. I didn’t know if I was welcome in this place, or what they would say when they saw me here. There was no hiding who I was. I bore the marks on my neck for all to see. But the things these people had been through because of me, they deserved a chance to vent their anger and I needed to swallow my fear and pride and finally do the right thing for once.
Clenching my fists at my sides, I pushed through the door and walked into the bustling kitchen. For a moment, life continued on as it usually did. And then they realised it wasn’t whoever they’d been expecting that had entered. One by one, their gazes moved to me, and as they did, each person froze on the spot, staring at me as silence slowly fell over the room.
I couldn’t work out the expression on their faces. I opened my mouth to say something and then snapped it closed when I realised there was nothing I could say that would make up for the things I’d let happen.
What was the point of an apology? It wouldn’t bring back the dead. It wouldn’t right the wrongs of this world.
I was just considering backing out the way I’d come when an older woman dusted the flour off her hands onto her apron and then moved swiftly towards me. I didn’t cower; I didn’t reason with her. I deserved her rage.
When her arms wrapped around me and she clung to me tightly, I didn’t know what to do. My eyes burned with the need to cry as she held onto me, and I couldn’t figure out why.
Eventually, she moved back, her hands clasping my shoulders as she leaned back to examine me.
“You’re more beautiful than they said you were,” she said sadly. “I… I don’t know what to say to you. That you would even consider joining this fight with us means more than I can ever express.”
I was confused. Did these people know of the prophecy as well? Had Fizzle and Rhidian been honest with the people they’d saved, or was this something else?
“It’s my fault…”
She tutted in annoyance before I could even finish my sentence. “There’s only one person to blame for the pain and suffering in Nymeria, and it isn’t the child who was saved from it all and still came back for us.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way. Still, it didn’t feel like enough to excuse me from what had happened here.
“Now, I know we sent food up earlier, but you must still be starving, you poor things. I’ve heard some of what happened, but looking at you, there’s no way you’ve been eating right. Now, sit down at the table and let me fix you something.”
She bustled across the kitchen, not even waiting for a response, and barked out orders to the others who’d been working here. I didn’t quite know what to do and only sat down because I couldn’t figure out what else to do.
I watched as she piled a plate high with bread, fruit, cheese and something that looked suspiciously like my favourite dessert as a child, a soft bread filled with custard and stewed fruits. My mouth was watering by the time the plate was deposited in front of me with a glass of water, and I didn’t even feel slightly guilty as I tore into the food, knowing the others were missing out.
It helped that moments later; she was sending out two of the men who’d been preparing vegetables with dishes piled high for my guys. I tried not to sulk about the fact that they had extra desserts on their plates. There was an entire stack of them on the side, after all.
After a while, I realised that the sound of the kitchen had returned, but not to what it had been. The people weren’t talking but quietly going about their tasks while darting furtive glances in my direction. I knew they had questions, and they weren’t the only ones.
Taking a sip of my water, I gently set the glass down and looked around the room. “You were all brought here by Rhidian from the other courts?”
Of course, they were. No one else had survived from the Spring Court, but for some reason, it felt like a fact that needed to be stated. Maybe I was just trying to get a feel for how they felt about Rhidian and if he truly was the saviour he seemed to be.
“We come from all over Nymeria. This was the only safe place Rhidian could find. Many were too afraid to come to the dead court.” She winced when she said that. “Some even turned away thinking the risk was too great and resigned themselves to their fate. It’s not been easy, especially recently, but here we can at least try to build a life for ourselves. No one is trying to tear our children away in their sleep.”
Her watery eyes spoke of a pain that most of Nymeria would understand. It was tragic that our once beautiful world had turned into this. Maybe it was past the point of saving. Perhaps fighting wasn’t the answer here. Perhaps we should look at a way to relocate those that were left.
My gaze went to the small window beside the door that led into the kitchen gardens. There was a time that it would have been so filled with sunlight that it would have been hard to look through. Now it was dark and shadowed as if it were night outside.
It was the trees. The forest had already made it this close to the palace on this side.
“No one goes out there anymore,” one of the other kitchen workers said when he saw where my gaze had drifted. “Not if they want to come back, at least.”
I winced at the implication that it had got so bad some had walked into the forest, hoping for Nymeria to take them. A person could only take so much loss before they wondered what the hell they were holding out for anymore. I knew that just as well as the people taking shelter here.
“Has anyone figured out what’s happening out there?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“We’d need someone to actually make it back for that to happen,” he said, turning back to the pot he was stirring.
There was a dull tone to his voice, and I knew he wasn’t far from giving up himself. Looking around, I saw the same look on all of their faces. They’d been here fighting this for years with no end in sight. I’d probably have the same look if I were them.
I didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to reassure them we were going to find a way to fight back? That the Spring Court would be their home for as long as they wanted it? Hell, were these my people now? What the hell was I supposed to be doing right now?
The panic started to set in and I could feel the walls closing in around me until a plate landed heavily on the table in front of me with another dessert sitting in the centre.
“You look like you’ve got the weight of the realm on your shoulders right now.” I looked up and saw her smiling face again.
“I’m sorry. I don’t even know your name.”
“It’s Winnett, your majesty.” I winced at the reference, and it just made her smile wider. “Not quite used to it?”
“It’s very new and not really something I ever expected.”
And then my mind started to connect the dots that I hadn’t seen before. The royal mark flowed down the family line. It only passed to another line if that person killed the heir. But I wasn’t part of the family line, if what Fizzle had said was the truth, and I sure as hell hadn’t been the one responsible for killing my parents. So why did I have the mark? Why had it passed to me so easily?
“None of us expected to be here. We’re all just making the best with what we can.”
“Do you mind me asking what happened to you?”
When Winnett didn’t answer straight away, I thought I’d overstepped, especially when the tears filled her eyes. “I come from a village on the banks of The Tolverns. We always thought our biggest threat was something coming from The Wildling Forest. I grew up watching the trees for the things that could hide in their shadows… They came in the night, when we were all asleep. It was the screaming that woke me up. Except it was coming from the room where my children slept and not outside. I couldn’t reach them before The Endless had thrown them into the river, and then the screaming stopped. They took everyone, children, women, men. Anyone who tried to fight back was cut down on the spot. There were just too many of them. We didn’t have weapons. We hadn’t learned how to fight things like them. Nothing stopped them. They didn’t even look at us. It was like fighting an empty suit of armour. There’s nothing inside The Endless. Arik has already taken their souls, they’re nothing but empty shells.”
“No one survived the river?”
“No. Whatever they’d brought with them stayed in the water, but made sure no one made it out alive.”
“You made it out alive.”
She laughed then, but there wasn’t any humour behind it. “Barely. Rhidian found me a few days later. The Endless hadn’t had the decency to finish me, and I was laying in the mud praying for the end. I didn’t see how I could go on without them. Rhidian brought me here and helped me heal. And not just from my physical injuries. Now, I do what I can to help the others he brings. It’s not much, but at least no one goes to sleep hungry when they come here. It’s the least we can do.”
This was the third time I’d heard of Arik using the creatures of Nymeria for his own bidding. We needed to know how he was doing it and stop him because Arik and The Endless we could maybe survive. But Arik and all the creatures of Nymeria? Well, this court had seen enough massacres.
The man at the cooker scoffed, turning to lean against the counter next to him before speaking. “We came here for safety and look at us now. Cowering inside these walls, waiting for Nymeria to find its way inside. All we did was delay the inevitable. There’s no fighting back when even the realm is on his side.”
“But now we have the Queen. She can push back the trees, restore the court,” Winnett argued.
“Yeah? Is that what you’re going to do?”
“Tolith, hush. She only just got here. She doesn’t have to prove herself to you.”
“No, she doesn’t have to prove herself to anyone, and you’re right, she did just get here. She has no idea what we’ve been through, no idea what’s happening. And equally no idea how to save us. She’s no saviour. She’s just as fucked as the rest of us.”
He had a point, and as much as I hated to admit it, I didn’t have a clue what to do about the trees. And they didn’t even know the worst of it. They didn’t know the wild Nymerian magic was mixing with the Spring magic outside and creating something new, something that could be a whole hell of a lot worse than what they’d seen so far. My arrival here had triggered it, and I had no idea how to stop it, how to control it, or what the hell I was going to do next.
“Look, everything you’ve said is true. I don’t know what’s happening here, and I don’t even know what to do next. But I’m here. I’m listening. And I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. There’s a fight to be had here and fighting it means putting everything on the line. I’m willing to do that. That’s all I can offer you. A promise to listen, to fight. I have nothing else to offer you.”
Tolith nodded. The serious look on his face showed he was considering it. He didn’t laugh in my face, at least. Hell, I couldn’t even offer him any hope, not yet. Not until I had some answers about what was happening outside. Which meant only one thing: it was time to go for a walk.
The kitchen staff turned back to what they’d been doing, and Winnett gave me a sympathetic smile before doing the same. Yeah, I wouldn’t have been convinced by my little speech either.
These people had been through hell, and they deserved some peace. They deserved to know that there was some hope, at least. This was what being a leader was all about. My father had always told me that the purpose of a leader was to make the hard choices, to stand in front of his people, between them and whatever trouble came their way, and bear the brunt of their survival. We were their shield, and these people had lost their shields if they’d ever had them to begin with.
So it was time to step into the path of Arik, his Endless army, and whatever creatures he somehow had fighting for him. Maybe this was what Fizzle’s so-called prophecy was about, not the way we were supposed to die on the battlefield, but that we would stand up and fight in the first place.
Okay, so maybe that was more like wishful thinking, but it was enough to make me ready to walk out that door and figure out what my next steps should be. Denial… such a beautiful motivation when you find yourself in a bind.
I pushed out of the seat I’d found myself in and headed to the door. There was nothing else to say here. These people didn’t need empty promises, they needed to see people following through on what they were supposed to be doing in the first place.
It was time to take meaningful action, and unfortunately for me, that involved putting my life on the line one more time.