34. Chapter 34
Chapter 34
Tank
A lyssa stared down at the map on the table in the war room, pacing around the edge as she examined it from every angle. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was exhausted. I could feel it edging along the bond towards me, and it was setting my bear on edge. He didn’t want to stand here watching her wear herself to the edge. He wanted her in our bed, resting, satiated. Trying to explain to him that now wasn’t the time for that wasn’t exactly easy. We’d come so close to potentially losing her today. We all needed to feel some kind of closeness if we were going to face that.
“Arik won’t waste any time before sending a second wave. Are we sure these are the most up-to-date positions of his forces?” she asked for the second time.
“Yes. The Endless that moved on us would account for the missing numbers,” Rhidian said again, the edge in his voice showing that he was fast about to lose his patience.
“We can’t know that,” Alyssa muttered. “We should pull out immediately rather than risk a second attack.”
Rhidian sighed, sagging forward and gripping the edge of the table as he did. I was impressed that he was clinging to his control as well as he was. Not once had he snapped at her for worrying and trying to press the issue.
“He doesn’t have any troops within a day’s journey. We can take the night. Give our men time to rest. If we prepare at first light, we can still get enough ground between us before they even think about breaching the palace.”
Alyssa stiffened at that thought. She didn’t want them here, but there was nothing we could do to stop that once we’d already left.
“And the survivors from The Endless?” she asked, instead of saying what she really wanted to.
“We’re getting them settled. They’re not really talking. It’s going to take some time for them to come to terms with what’s happened, and I don’t want to push them too fast.” Rhidian had a sympathetic look on his face as he settled in to just giving Alyssa what she needed. It would seem he knew he well enough to know she wouldn’t step back until she was satisfied that everyone else was cared for.
“Did you get anything from the one who was able to fight the connection?” I asked, knowing it was something else she’d need to know but probably wasn’t ready to ask yet.
“No. Not really. His name is Alard. He’s… struggling.” Rhidian’s eyes cut to Alyssa, and I knew whatever he was about to say next wouldn’t sit well with her. “He’s angry that you didn’t kill him when he asked. I don’t know if letting him fight is a good idea.”
Alyssa nodded sadly. This would be the thing she tortured herself over; whether she’d done the right thing. I don’t think any of us could accept killing someone was better than saving them, but then we weren’t the ones who would have to deal with the emotional aftermath. There were no winners in that situation.
“We should look over the weapons and food supplies,” Alyssa said quietly. “We need to make sure that everyone is comfortable for the journey ahead.”
She looked around the room as if trying to find someone to support what she was saying. She wouldn’t find anyone. We were all too worried about her to even consider agreeing to her plan. When she huffed in frustration, I knew she’d realised it, too.
“You need to rest, Alyssa,” Rhidian said quietly, braver than the rest of us who hadn’t even attempted to bring it up yet.
The glare she sent his way in response confirmed that I had no desire to be in his position.
“I’m. Fine!” She all but seethed through her teeth.
“You’re not!” Rhidian threw his hands up in the air, and I could see him getting ready for an argument.
It wouldn’t get us anywhere, and even if I agreed with him, antagonising Alyssa now would only make her double down on her resolve. It didn’t take a mate bond to see the exhaustion on her face and if she tried to push through this; she was going to make herself ill.
“Lys, we need you strong if this plan is going to work and even then it’s risky as fuck. We all know the gist of this prophecy that Fizzle is playing close to his chest, and I don’t want to see it come to light. Not just because it won’t only be your blood soaking into the ground.” Rhidian sounded just as exhausted as she was as he paced away. “I love that you’re stepping up and ready to lead these people. But you can’t do that if you don’t look after yourself. They need you whole. I need you…”
Rhidian’s voice trailed away, and he didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he stood in front of one of the windows and stared out into the night. Alyssa had told us all about Rhidian’s royal mark. It was probably the only reason some of us had reluctantly trusted him. If he was going to save himself, then he needed to find a way around this prophecy, and that was the only way we could save her, too. I didn’t give a fuck about myself. The others would look after her once I was gone. If that was the price of keeping her safe, then I’d pay it gladly.
Deciding to take pity on Rhidian, I stepped up behind Alyssa, gently squeezing her shoulders as I guided her back to lean against me.
“I can feel how much you’re hurting right now,” I told her. “Come and rest. We need to check in with the others and see how they want to handle the Damon situation.”
Rhidian glanced over his shoulder at us both and I could see the relief on his face when she silently nodded. I knew Alyssa well enough to know that demanding she do something wouldn’t work once she’d dug herself in. But give her a task, something that she needed to do for someone she cared about, and you might just have a chance.
“You have nothing to prove here,” I added, hoping that Rhidian didn’t hear that part. If he did, he at least had the good graces not to show it as he turned back to the window, giving us the illusion of privacy.
“I do,” she told me mournfully. “I can’t let them down, Tank. Not again. These are my people now and they’re not safe. I… I can’t go through this again.”
I knew what this was, and I understood her near manic need to prevent what she’d already had to endure once before. Hell, I hadn’t been there, and I felt exactly the same. I wouldn’t survive watching Arik’s army move through this place, slaughtering everyone who dared to stand in his way. Just the thought of her having to witness something like that for a second time… Yeah, I got it.
“And you won’t. We have people positioned to give us enough warning if Arik gets anywhere close, and you felt it last time. The court will tell you again if we’re in danger. But for now, you’re wiped out. If you want to keep them safe, then you need to recover enough to do it. But if you can honestly tell me, you could do whatever you did out there again, if you can tell me you’re strong enough to take on another attack and survive, then I will stand by you one hundred percent and not mention it again.” She said nothing and a wave of exhaustion swept through the link to me. “Why does the idea of resting now hurt you so much?” I asked quietly.
She hesitated to answer, but I knew, given the time, that she would. Even Rhidian didn’t move, his gaze still fastened on the window as if he knew that turning around now would just spook her into silence.
“I brought them here,” she eventually admitted. “They’re here for me. I brought them right to the door and these people will pay for it with their lives if Arik attacks again. Every opportunity I get, I goad him. I can’t stop myself. He will hit harder and faster even if just to prove a point, and I can’t let them die just because I hate him so much.”
I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly as she finally let the tension leak out of her. She was close to reaching her limit. I could feel it and she probably could too, but I didn’t want her to turn away from here, even if it meant her going to bed, without first realising that none of this was her fault.
“He’s coming for us all,” Rhidian said, finally turning away from the window and giving her a soft smile. I knew he had feelings for her. I think we all did, apart from maybe Alyssa herself. She hadn’t seen it yet. “If you had never come here, he still would have come for us. This is what he does, Alyssa. He sees people, and he destroys them. Don’t take even a fraction of the guilt for that. He’s the only one who deserves it, and we’ll make sure he pays for it, too.”
The overwhelming sense of relief that swept over me when she nodded was more than I’d felt in my entire life, and my bear rumbled in happiness as his anxiety slowly lessened.
It didn’t last though, as the sound of claws clicking on the tiles behind us had it skyrocketing once more.
“You always took on the weight of the realm, even when you were a child,” Fizzle’s voice echoed from behind.
My first instinct was to defend my mate, and the bear inside me was more than happy for it to be through violence. I might have been more tired than I realised, too.
“That’s probably because you always told me it was,” Alyssa deadpanned, but I could hear the humour in her voice and quickly realised there was probably an inside joke here that I wasn’t seeing.
The bear sulked into the back of my mind, disappointed that any chance of a fight had dissipated before the fun could begin. He should have been satisfied with what we’d all just been through. There was something about crushing metal armour that was feeling like sport to him and he’d had a grand old time running through the trees and finally having prey to hunt. Once he saw the opportunity to just let go and fight, it was hard to rein him back in. Part of me didn’t want to. There was a freedom in bloodlust that I’d never experience as a man, not when there were things like emotions and a conscience to take into account. But when you could point to the bear and say that it wasn’t entirely your fault, it lessened the guilt somewhat.
“Go rest,” Fizzle ordered. “Tomorrow, we may be travelling, but that doesn’t mean training is paused. You did well today, but those men of yours are still weak and far from their potential. You need to regain your strength to filter through them.”
I felt the bear bristle even though we both knew Fizzle was right. Physically, we were strong, but if I could access and use this magic I now had, with even a fraction of the skill that Alyssa did, we might actually make it through this. And that was the only thing that mattered.
We were all fighting for survival here, and it was going to get bloody no matter what we did.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go get settled and wait for the others to come back to the room,” I suggested, already steering her towards the door.
She came easily; the fight having drained out of her. It had been a long day, followed by a long night. I was just as exhausted as Alyssa, even if the adrenaline still hadn’t completely left me yet. It would, though, and when it did, I’d crash hard.
I looked down at the woman at my side in concern. I could feel how conflicted she was, even if she was finally giving in and doing what she needed to look after herself. This was the cost of power. Alyssa might not see herself like that, but she was slowly coming to the idea of being a leader, and good leaders led from the front. They provided their people not only with a figurehead that they could look up to, but also a shield for them to shelter behind.
This was our future.
I hated that it meant she’d have to face so much danger, but she was exactly what these people needed. She was strong enough to protect them. Good enough to want to do it. But most of all, she wasn’t in this for what she could take. Alyssa’s only thought was how much she had to give.
And that was the sign of a true queen.
Claws dug into my shoulder as Fizzle landed on his favourite perch, the fucker. Apparently, he was coming with us.
As we walked through the winding hallways that were slowly becoming familiar, I wondered why exactly it was that Fizzle had decided to accompany us. Rhidian had stayed back in the war room, silently turning back to the window as we left.
“What happens to Rhidian when all this is done?” I asked.
I didn’t hate the guy. I’d realised that pretty quickly. I may not entirely trust him, but it was hard to do that when I saw the way he looked at my mate. My bear didn’t feel as accepting of him as he had of the others. Logically, I could see the benefit of adding him to the bond. He was strong, and he’d sacrificed a lot to guide and protect the people here for decades. He couldn’t have done that without having some skill about him. Yet, he just didn’t feel like he was a part of us. Maybe it was the distrust filtering through the bond that was affecting me. I was pretty sure it wasn’t jealousy because Alyssa was completely blind to the fact that he was clearly in love with her. She only had eyes for her mates.
Even so, that didn’t mean I wanted him killed off on the battlefield to fulfil some kind of prophecy.
It didn’t take a genius to realise that Rhidian, an outcast of the Summer Court, whilst a hero to the people here, was probably viewed as more of an outlaw than anything else. How could he not be? But everything he’d done was to save the people who needed to escape Arik. I wouldn’t stand by and see him punished for that.
“What do you mean?” Alyssa asked, a hint of sleepiness lining her voice.
“Will he go back to the Summer Court and take the throne there? Will the fae there accept him? He should be their king, right? That’s what the marks mean. But if the Summer Court is fighting back against Arik, they’re on the same side, so why isn’t he there now shielding these people with the full force of his court at his back?”
The more I spoke, the more confused I was. I hadn’t even realised some of this until I’d started asking the question. Why the hell was Rhidian here?
“Rhidian is not at the Summer Court because he was cast out,” Fizzle told me. I’d spent enough time with the owl gryphon by now, though, that I could almost hear the gaps where the things he wasn’t telling me should have been. “He will play his part in this, and together, we will either save Nymeria or die with it.”
“But whoever is currently on the throne there doesn’t have the royal mark like Rhidian does, right? Why would the people accept them as a king or queen in that case?”
“The Summer Court isn’t like you’re thinking. They value strength above all things. The royal children are actively encouraged to eliminate their competition for the throne. They’re taught to lie and scheme to prepare them for the political moves they’d need to keep power should they ascend to the throne. Rhidian was never strong enough in their eyes. He didn’t want to make it to the top by climbing over his siblings. He wanted to rule through fairness and show his people an easier way to live. His mother has the throne now. The people probably don’t know that she doesn’t bear the mark, and if they do, they will no doubt believe it’s only a matter of time before she eliminates Rhidian and takes it for herself,” Fizzle explained.
We were closing in on our suite of rooms now, but the conversation had intrigued me so much that I didn’t even register that the doors hung open as we approached.
“So, Rhidian’s mother will kill him to claim the throne?”
It felt so wrong. The bear inside me would never understand trying to hurt someone within his family. The sleuth was the most important thing in the world to him after his mate. We might have left ours back in the human realm, but we’d formed a new one here with Alyssa and the others. There was nothing we wouldn’t do to protect it.
“Yes. Gladial is honour bound to claim the life of her son if she wishes to keep the throne. If she bears no other children, it will pass to the next in her family line.” There was a hint of sadness in Fizzle’s voice as he spoke, and I just hoped it wasn’t because he knew something from this damn prophecy that the rest of us weren’t aware of.
“She won’t ever get the chance,” Alyssa growled as she picked up her pace and walked through the doors of our suite. “Gladial doesn’t deserve the throne, and the people of the Summer Court deserve a leader like Rhidian. Someone who will show them that life without conflict is possible if that’s what they want. They deserve a king who will put their needs before his own. Not someone who will move them like chess pieces in a game to win as much power as possible.”
Maddox turned at the sound of her voice. The three three of them stood near the fireplace, talking, as we entered the room.
My attention moved to Fizzle, though. His eyes were fixed on Alyssa, but rather than being proud of how she was slowly stepping further into the role she should have always had, he looked sad. I knew then that Rhidian was destined to be bleeding in the dirt even if there was some kind of hope for the rest of us, and for some reason, it just made me want to fight even harder.
“How is he?” Alyssa asked the others. There was only one he that she could be referring to, and from the exhaustion on Maddox’s face, it didn’t look like getting Damon into his cell had been all that easy for him.
“He’s… I don’t even know. One second he’s Damon, and the next he’s… whatever’s controlling him.” Maddox hesitated before adding, “We need to fix this and we need to do it quickly. Damon isn’t the kind of man that will suffer through this if he sees this other being, or whatever it is, as a threat.”
We all heard the implication even if he didn’t say the words.
If it came down to Damon, or protecting his family from whatever was controlling him, Maddox clearly thought that Damon would make the ultimate sacrifice. It wasn’t hard to understand when I knew we’d all make exactly the same choice.
“Hmmm.” Fizzle hummed, and I felt the pinch of his claws as he prepared to take flight. “Don’t lose faith in him yet. There may well be a way. Rest. We have a long journey tomorrow and we leave at first light. Don’t expect the journey to be easy. You still have a lot of training to do. You can run and practice. Even a toddler can multitask to that degree.”
And with that last parting insult, he spread his wings and flew back the way we’d come.
“Did he come here just to insult us?” Ryder asked, looking genuinely bemused.
“That’s a compliment in Fizzle’s book,” Alyssa said with a yawn. “He’s upgraded you from baby to toddler. You should be proud.”
“I don’t think… wait, when did he call us that?” Ryder seemed to be finding his outrage and honestly, after the day we’d just had, it was nothing but amusing.
Alyssa cocked her head to the side as she thought and then laughed when the memory finally reached her. “Yeah, you probably don’t want to hear about it.”
It was a single light hearted moment to end a strange and twisted day. Damon was back, and yet he wasn’t. We were currently in an even more dangerous position than we had been this morning, and yet all I could think about was sleep. I felt almost content. Relieved that the waiting and not knowing what came next was finally over.
We had a plan. A course of action that could turn into a huge step forward in our cause. Now we just needed to salvage some kind of energy to get through it all. We had no other choice. Failure was death, and I might talk about being willing to lie down my life to save the woman in front of me, and I would without a second hesitation, but damn, I wanted that life at her side at the end of this whole mess. I wanted the kids, the grandkids, the happy moments and even the sad ones.
I wanted it all.
And that was what I was fighting for.