37. Chapter 37
Chapter 37
Alyssa
I t broke my heart to see Damon laying on the ground, pleading with us to turn back and save ourselves. I wanted to tell him everything, to assure him we knew what we were doing, but I couldn’t. There was no way to know if we could trust him, let alone to know if Arik had some way to hear us through him.
The soft laughter didn’t register with me at first, until I saw Damon peering up at me through his black hair. As he slowly pushed himself upright, I saw the change immediately. It wasn’t just in his mannerisms. Even the look on his face made him seem like an entirely different person.
“I didn’t realise you were so eager to die, princess,” the man before me murmured.
I wouldn’t call this thing by Damon’s name, it would be an insult to him.
“What are you?” I asked calmly, even as I felt my mates tense, ready to fight. “I know you’re not Arik. Your magic is unfamiliar to me, so I know it’s not his.”
He stood, moving towards the bars as he slowly wrapped his hands around them. For a moment, I thought he’d actually pull them apart and step through. From the smug smile on his face, he knew it too.
“You may call me your nightmare,” he almost purred. “Arik is so determined to have you in his grasp, I wonder if he ever worried that I might keep you for myself.”
“I’m not the one in the cage right now. I think you should be more worried about yourself.” I gritted my teeth, regretting it as soon as I’d said it. Letting him antagonise me wouldn’t get us any answers, and answers were what we needed if we were ever getting Damon back.
“True,” he conceded, looking around at the bars like he was seeing them for the first time. “But I have a feeling that the men behind you care far too much for my host to let him come to any harm.”
“It seems terribly risky to trust your fate to the goodwill of others. Especially in Nymeria.”
“True again. But this bargaining chip isn’t only for them, and I think a barter between me and Damon is what will save me. He’s desperate to have control again, and I may actually be obliged to grant him that wish. He’ll never truly be rid of me, though. We’re too entwined now.”
I wondered if this creature knew how much information he was providing to me or if he actually thought he was being evasive enough to keep us in the dark.
“And what bargain would you strike with Damon?” I asked.
“That he can have his control. I’ll even teach him to use the power that runs through this body now. Power always did intoxicate men. We whisper in their ears and they give us the world in return for our promises.”
“And what exactly would you get in return for such a bargain?”
“A promise. Damon and I can never be untethered, what has been done cannot be undone. But there are others of my kind, and I would have him free them from Arik before he can do to them what he has done to me. It would help your cause if he agreed to this. You could weaken Arik where he would feel it the most.”
I shrugged, hoping I seemed as uninterested as I actually wasn’t. This wasn’t the first negotiation I’d been party to, and I didn’t want to risk showing any of our cards in case this whole thing was a charade.
“Perhaps.” It was the only answer I gave him, and then I turned and walked back to the stairs, my mates trailing behind me.
The creature that had control of Damon said nothing as we ascended the stairs. Leaving him in the dank hold alone. I caught the whisper of laughter as we closed the door behind us and then moved to the other side of the ship, to the cabin Rhidian had provided us. We couldn’t risk any information reaching Damon’s ears. There was no way to tell if what he was saying was true, and the plan moving forward was risky enough as it was.
“What do you think?” I asked the men standing around me. “Is the ‘Damon’ we get to talk to actually him or is it just this nightmare playing games with us?”
Maddox sighed, his hands raking through his hair as he turned away. I knew this whole situation would be stressful for all of them. They all saw him as a brother, but it was even more so for him. He had that blood-bond with Damon, but he was the brother who saved not only Maddox but also his friends. He was a hero to all of them, and right now, Damon was still as lost as he was the day we stepped foot into Nymeria. We didn’t have him back, and this complication meant that even if we ever achieved that goal, there’d always be that doubt in the back of our mind if he was actually the man we thought he was.
“It’s him,” Dean confirmed, surprising me.
Out of all of them, he was the one I’d have thought the most sceptical. This acceptance seemed far too easy when it came from Dean.
“You can’t know that,” Ryder whispered uneasily, and I moved to his side, wrapping my arm around his waist as I leaned my head against his shoulder. I knew he needed it when I felt his grip on my waist in return. He clung to me like a lifeline, and I was more than happy to provide it.
“Yes, I can,” Dean answered firmly. “Think about it. This nightmare must have some access to Damon’s memories because he knows things he couldn’t possibly without them. And at every step, he’s thrown whatever he could at us to throw us off balance. He’s insulted us, insulted Alyssa, trying to get us to rise to it. But never once has he pulled out what he knows about… about what I did. The one thing he has that could hurt me the most. The one thing guaranteed to set me off. Damon is still in there and he’s fighting. He’s still protecting us. I know he is.”
It was a good point, but it wasn’t foolproof logic. When I caught Tank’s gaze, I knew he saw the problem with it, too.
“He could just be saving it for when he needs it the most. We haven’t really given him any chance to escape. Maybe it’s being smart and saving its biggest weapon.”
Dean shook his head with determination. “No. He’s in there and it’s him reaching out for us. We just need to make sure he doesn’t accept this deal. Damon will do it in a second if he thought it would save us. But there’s no way this nightmare would offer something like this if it wasn’t desperate. It knows it’s losing control anyway, and this is its last ditch effort to get what it wants.”
Now that I agreed with. The nightmare was definitely losing its grip on Damon, and the best thing we could do for now was to find a way to give Damon permanent control.
“Do you think it’s really impossible to separate them?” Ryder asked. “There has to be a way, right? Damon can’t live the rest of his life waiting for this nightmare to see an opportunity and take over again.”
We all flinched as Maddox’s fist suddenly crashed into the wooden wall beside him. A snarl ripped through his lips, and, for a moment, I could have sworn I saw a flash of golden fur flow across his arm.
“This is bullshit,” he seethed. “We did everything right. We went through the change. We came here. We fought the fight, and we got him back. It can’t end like this,” he raged.
He shook his head as he struggled for control with his lion, his fangs elongated in his mouth before the man took control again.
“Don’t you see what’s going to happen? You’re right that Damon will do what he needs to do to keep us safe. But he won’t accept this deal, and he won’t keep fighting if he thinks it will make him a liability. There’s a reason that thing wanted to remind us they couldn’t be separated. Damon will kill himself if it comes down to it, and that thing knows just how close he already is to it.” Maddox looked so sad as he spoke, and I could see just how close he was to giving up himself.
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to immediately leap in to say that he wouldn’t, because it was too horrible to even consider. But I didn’t know Damon. There was no way I could know just how far he’d go to keep his brothers safe. In his situation, would I do the same? It wasn’t even a question worth asking because, of course, I would. When it came to the people you loved, there was nothing you wouldn’t do to keep them safe.
A knocking on the door had us looking around in confusion. I’d forgotten where we were for a second and what was actually going on. It was so unfair that the guys were having to go through this in the middle of this war.
Tank opened the door, and Rhidian and Fizzle strode inside, not understanding what they were disturbing.
“If we can keep this wind, we should arrive in three days. From shore, it’s a two day journey over the mountain tops to approach Arik’s forces from the rear. Luckily for us, the mountains aren’t too bad near the coastline, so it won’t be a hard trek,” Rhidian said, striding to a nearby table to lie out the map he’d previously marked the last known troop numbers on.
He glanced over his shoulder when none of us answered. “I think we should attack at first light, take advantage of the sun being behind us to obscure our numbers?”
It came out like a question as Rhidian started to read the room. I almost saw the moment he realised that the rest of us had been talking about something heavy enough that we weren’t really ready to take on the logistics of an impending battle. Now didn’t feel like the time to discuss the tactics for a fight that could very well end with all of us dead if we didn’t take it seriously like it deserved.
“What’s happening?” Fizzle asked, getting straight to the point.
With a flap of his wings, he landed on the map Rhidian had rolled out on the table. He looked down, nodded in agreement, and then turned to look at the rest of us. Settling himself in the middle of the map, and waited for us to answer.
“Damon,” I said nervously.
We hadn’t discussed what was going to happen with Damon, but it didn’t take a genius to see that Rhidian hadn’t been completely on board with bringing him along. Even if he hadn’t been the guys’ brother, it’s not like we could have left him behind. Arik would move on the Spring Court, and anyone left behind would be killed. How would it make us better than him if we left anyone to that fate?
“Damon,” Rhidian repeated. “Look, I know we haven’t spoken about this, and I know he’s important to you all, but we need to know how dangerous he is. I think you should let me…”
“Don’t,” I snapped. I knew exactly what he was going to say. Damon wouldn’t be interrogated by anyone other than his brothers. “This is not your place, Rhidian.”
“I understand your concern,” Maddox started, stepping forward as all the attention moved to him. “Damon is fighting for control with this nightmare that is controlling his body. We think it’s getting weaker to even allow him to slip through, but we need time to gauge if that’s the case. For now, the nightmare is trying to negotiate some sort of deal, but we think it’s only because it’s getting desperate. We need to do what we can to make Damon not accept the deal until we can get a better idea of what this thing is and how we can help him. Fizzle, I know there’s a lot you can’t tell us, but if there is anything you know about this thing, if you can help in any way…”
Maddox didn’t have to end his sentence because we all knew what he was saying. We were desperate, and we needed whatever help we could find.
But I’d been watching Fizzle as Maddox had spoken and I’d seen the expression on his face change when Maddox had mentioned the nightmare. He locked eyes with me when he knew I was watching and subtly shook his head. I knew questions were off the table for now, but I didn’t know why. If he thought I was going to keep this from my mates, he was sorely mistaken. But Fizzle wasn’t stupid, and he wouldn’t need me to make that point for him to know it already.
Which only meant one thing.
Rhidian was the one he was keeping this information from, and just as we’d started to trust the summer fae again, Fizzle completely threw me through a loop.