Chapter 10
Zaylee Cooper
I wasn’t a ho nor was I weak when it came to niggas.
However, Mikael has always had the ability to make me do stuff I normally didn’t do.
I guess time didn’t lessen his hold over me and I hated that for me.
I damn near passed out when I laid eyes on Mikael in the mall.
I figured at some point we’d run into each other again.
Never did I think it would be less than a month of me being back home.
He looked as if he hadn’t aged since I last laid eyes on him.
I always loved how naturally smooth his creamy mahogany brown skin was.
Mikael had perfect skin without doing anything special.
It had always been like that for him. While I had to use three different face cleansers just to keep acne from appearing on my face.
Mikael never was big on facial hair; he kept a neatly trimmed patch on his chin and a thin mustache over his juicy lips.
His beauty mark on his upper left jaw was still there despite Mikael hating it.
I loved it, I always told him it made him stand out more.
I swear he could have been a model with his chiseled jawline and high cheekbones.
Mikael was borderline pretty, but I would never tell him that to his face.
I could see a few new tattoos that weren’t on his arms before and a nose piercing that I didn’t know he needed.
It fit his face well and added that extra appeal to him.
After all this time Mikael still had the same effect on me and I didn’t know what I was going to do besides stay away from.
I swear when I saw him, I felt myself go weak in the knees, my stomach flipped a million times, and I had to fight to keep my breath steady.
Lamelle was oblivious to my sudden nervousness.
He thought I was giddy over him when in reality the nigga who made it impossible to love another nigga was staring right at us.
Because Mikael’s crazy ass was just staring at us, he caught Lamelle’s attention and I damn sure wasn’t about to tell him who Mikael was.
Of course, I didn’t count on him being able to read my lips and being triggered by me calling him a nobody.
To a degree he wasn’t a nobody to me anymore.
Last time we spoke he said he hated me and to stay the fuck away from him.
The way I saw it we were two strangers blowing in the wind who shared memories of the past. Nothing more, well it wasn’t supposed to be then he fucking kissed me and ever since then I felt myself craving Mikael increasingly each day.
I was pissed with myself for even wanting anything to do with Mikael’s selfish ass.
He couldn’t see past his own selfish needs to even try to understand how I felt.
He didn’t think about what the pain of him cutting me off would do to me.
It was bad enough we were going to be separated for ten years, and I was dealing with that.
I kept a strong face whenever I would visit Mikael but all I did was cry when I was at home.
Mikael didn’t understand that his sentence wasn’t only his burden to carry.
Every day I was away from him was torture.
When Mikael cut me off, I was beyond broken.
I cried for weeks. The pain my heart felt was unbearable.
I even tried to go visit him again and I didn’t think he could really cut me off that easily.
Mikael rejected my visit, crushing me to my core.
He was so mad at me for wanting to get an abortion, not realizing his actions caused me to miscarry the baby.
My mind was clouded with thoughts of Mikael, and I hadn’t been taking care of myself and in my emotional haze I neglected to go to my appointment for my abortion.
The problem with me having a miscarriage was during my D he didn't care for dad. We both know that.” I tried to sound neutral.
I hoped my mom didn’t pick up on my annoyance.
I wasn’t lying though Mikael couldn’t stand my dad.
All it took was for Mikael to hear my dad call my Blackie.
He cussed my dad out and had his grown ass running scared.
It was funny now thinking about my grown dad being punked by a teenaged boy but then I was scared shitless.
However, after that day my dad kept his nasty comments to himself.
“No, he just called me to tell me he was going to be a little late but he’s gonna be there.” My mom gave me a knowing smirk and that meant I was doing a terrible job at hiding how I was feeling from her.
“Called you?”
“Yeah, I gave him my number. Is that a problem?” My mom asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Nope, just don’t see the point of my ex coming to dad’s funeral. When my current boyfriend is going to be there. I mean he couldn’t send some flowers or something.” I sneakily rolled my eyes; my mama would still knock the shit out of me for getting smart with her.
“He could have but I invited him. I’m sure your boyfriend will understand.” My mom might have been calm however the authority in her tone meant she was done talking about the situation.
“I guess,” I sighed, there was no point in going back and forth with her. “Are you ready?”
My mom and I were driving to the funeral.
Neither of us had no desire to ride in the family limo with the rest of our dad’s family.
My aunts and uncle were a lot to deal with, and it was bad enough we had to spend the day around them.
Riding in a cramped limo while all of them bickered about nothing wasn’t appealing to either of us.
So, we decided to drive separately. Of course, the family had something to say, we were acting stuck up.
I honestly didn’t care what they had to say.
I highly doubt after today I was going to see any of them anytime soon.
My dad’s side of the family was full of rotten apples.
Lamelle was going to meet us there. My mom wasn’t the biggest fan of Lamelle since she’d met him.
Even back when we were just friends my mom didn’t care for him.
Lamelle would go out of his way to suck up to my mom and that only made her dislike for him stronger.
“Yes, let’s get this over with. I hate to see my husband in that casket.” My mom answered sadly.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Love a man like dad the way you did. No disrespect mom but dad wasn’t shit and treated you horribly.
” I had been dying to ask my mom since I’d come home.
Seeing her grieve, my dad was weird to me.
How could you be so sad over a man who made your life hell?
I don’t even think I was sad over my dad not being alive anymore not to say I was happy either.
Indifferent was the best word to describe how I felt.
I honestly figured my mom would have been relieved instead of heartbroken.
My mom blew out a deep breath as she looked me in the eyes.
“When I first met your dad, he was the nicest man I’d ever met in my life.
He did everything I asked him to. Malichi had me hooked and I couldn’t see past him.
When he went into the military I happily dropped out of school.
I thought love was all I needed in life.
Then things changed the longer your dad stayed in the military.
He was angrier and had a shorter temper.
Something happened to Malichi, I knew but he never wanted to talk about it.
By then I depended on him for everything.
I hadn’t worked outside the house in years and I didn’t want to.
I loved the life I lived as a home maker. ”
“I thought you were in school to be a lawyer?”