6. Chapter Six
Chapter Six
CLARE
I heard the cage door slam. A small part of me knew I was having a nightmare. Jeremy’s cruel smile seemed to be all I could see. I’d refused to wear the tiny nightgown and he’d beaten me. At least I wasn’t hungry anymore. I’d had such little food, my stomach had grown used to it, so much so it was barely an effective punishment anymore. But then he raised his hand, the brass-topped crop in it that I knew was so painful…
I jolted awake with a gasp, my heart racing. For a moment, I was disoriented, expecting to see the bars of the cage. But as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I realized I was in my own bedroom. Safe.
I fumbled for my phone, desperate for some connection to reality. My finger hovered over Maddox's name in my contacts. He'd told me to text if I woke up... But it was 3 am. I couldn't bother him now.
But the remnants of the nightmare clung to me, Jeremy's cruel smile still vivid in my mind. Before I could talk myself out of it, I typed out a quick message:
"Had a bad dream. Sorry to bother you."
I hit send before I could change my mind, then set the phone down, not really expecting a response. To my surprise, it buzzed almost immediately.
"You're not bothering me at all. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"
Tears pricked at my eyes at his concern. I hesitated, then typed back:
"It was about...him. The cage. I just needed to know it wasn't real."
Maddox's response came quickly: "It wasn't real. You're safe now, Clare. Is there anything I can do to help?"
I bit my lip, considering. Part of me longed to ask him to come over, to feel safe and protected, but a bigger part knew that wasn’t fair. I couldn’t take from him without giving something back, and I had nothing in me to give.
Not anymore.
I stared at Maddox's message, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. What could I ask of him? What did I even want?
Finally, I typed: "Could you...maybe just talk to me for a bit? About anything. I just need a distraction."
His number lit up my phone and I answered.
"How about I tell you about the time I accidentally dyed my hair bright green?"
Despite everything, I felt a small smile tug at my lips. "That sounds like a story."
For the next twenty-five minutes, Maddox regaled me with tales of his misspent youth—pranks gone wrong, embarrassing moments, and ridiculous adventures. With each story, I felt the tension in my body ease slightly, the nightmare fading to the background.
Then the knock at the door jolted me, just when I’d thought I might be able to sleep.
“It’s me. I’m here.”
With shaking hands, I got up and went to the door. I peered through the peephole, confirming it was indeed Maddox standing there. Taking a deep breath, I unlatched the door and opened it.
Maddox stood there, concern etched on his face. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair slightly mussed as if he'd rushed over. "Hey," he said softly. "I hope it's okay that I came. I was worried about you." He grinned. “I actually know your night doorman, Roger. He works weekends for us.”
I nodded, stepping back to let him in. I hadn’t even questioned how he’d been able to come up without them calling me. "It's...it's okay. Thank you for coming."
He entered, his eyes scanning me as if checking for injuries. "How are you feeling?"
I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly very aware that I was in my pajamas. "Better," I admitted. "The talking helped."
Maddox smiled gently. "I'm glad. Do you want to talk about your dream?"
I hesitated, then shook my head. "Not really. I just...I don't want to be alone right now."
Maddox smiled like that was the most reasonable thing in the world to say when I knew he should be questioning my sanity.
“How about you get in bed, and I’ll stay until you go to sleep?”
I was so tempted. The sleep I’d gotten before the nightmare had been the longest in a while. He steered me to the bed as if he didn’t need an answer, pulled the comforter so I could slide in, then perched on the edge.
I immediately felt guilty. “Please sit properly.” He moved and sat next to me, but on top of the comforter and sitting up, leaning his back against the headboard. His presence was both comforting and nerve-wracking. Part of me wanted to curl into his side, to let him wrap his arms around me and chase away the lingering fear from my nightmare. But I held myself rigid, afraid of what might happen if I let my guard down.
"Is this okay?" Maddox asked softly, seeming to sense my tension.
I nodded, not trusting my voice. We sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound our quiet breathing.
"You know," Maddox said eventually, his voice gentle. "It's okay to need comfort sometimes. It doesn't make you weak."
I swallowed hard, tears pricking at my eyes. "I just... I don't want to take advantage of your kindness," I whispered.
Maddox turned to look at me, his expression serious. "Clare, listen to me. You're not taking advantage of anything. I'm here because I want to be. Because I care about you."
His words sent a wave of warmth through me, maybe something like comfort. Something like safety. Before I could stop myself, I found myself leaning into him slightly.
Slowly, hesitantly, I rested my head on his shoulder. Maddox's arm came around me, loose enough that I could pull away if I wanted to, but firm enough to make me feel secure.
"Is this okay?" he asked softly, his thumb tracing gentle circles on my arm. I nodded, not trusting my voice. We sat like that for a while, the silence no longer uncomfortable but soothing.
"Do you think you can sleep now?" Maddox asked after some time had passed.
Part of me wanted to say no, to keep him here with me. But I knew that wasn't fair. "I think so," I whispered. "Thank you for coming over."
Maddox smiled gently. "Anytime, Clare. I mean that."
As he stood to leave, a small wave of panic washed over me. "Wait," I said quickly, then hesitated. "Could you...could you maybe stay until I fall asleep?"
His expression softened. "Of course. I'll be right here, and I'll stay until you drift off."
Part of me wanted to protest, to ask him to stay the whole night. But I knew that was too much, too soon. "Okay," I whispered instead.
I didn’t move even though I knew I should. Against Maddox’s shoulder was the safest place I’d slept in in a very long time.
It took me a few minutes to wake up the next morning and I panicked because I knew the shoulder I was lying against definitely wasn’t a pillow. For a moment, panic gripped me as memories of Jeremy flooded back, not that I’d ever actually lain in a bed with him. But then I caught the familiar scent of Maddox's cologne, and reality slowly seeped in.
Maddox was still here. He must have fallen asleep himself.
I lifted my head carefully, not wanting to wake him. His face was relaxed in sleep, all the worry lines smoothed away. He looked younger, almost vulnerable. A wave of guilt washed over me. He'd come all this way in the middle of the night just to comfort me, and now I'd kept him from his own bed.
As if sensing my gaze, Maddox's eyes fluttered open. For a moment, confusion clouded his features. Then his eyes met mine, and a soft smile spread across his face.
"Good morning," he said, his voice husky with sleep. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. Are you okay?"
I nodded, suddenly very aware of how close we were, how intimate this moment felt. "I'm fine," I whispered. "Thank you for staying."
Maddox moved from being half sat-up, and eased his shoulders, careful not to jostle me. "Of course. I'm glad I could help."
I lay there for a moment, an awkward silence falling between us. I wasn't sure what to say or do next. Part of me wanted to curl back into Maddox's warmth, to pretend for just a little longer that everything was okay. But I knew I couldn't.
"I should probably get going," Maddox said gently, breaking the silence. "Let you start your day."
I nodded, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment I felt. "Right. Of course."
As Maddox stood up, stretching slightly, I suddenly felt very small and vulnerable in my pajamas. "I'll just... I'll walk you out," I mumbled, getting to my feet.
At the door, Maddox turned to me, his expression soft but serious. "Clare, I meant what I said last night. You can call me anytime, for anything. You're not alone in this."
I swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "Thank you," I whispered.
Maddox hesitated for a moment, then reached out and gently squeezed my hand. "Take care of yourself, okay? I'll check in later."
As I closed the door behind him, I leaned against it, my emotions swirling. Part of me felt safer and more cared for than I had in months. But another part was terrified of letting anyone get too close again.
I made my way to the kitchen, desperately needing coffee to help sort out my thoughts, my mind still whirling from the events of last night and this morning. As I started the coffee maker, my eyes landed on the dishes from dinner last night—dishes Maddox had washed and dried. The sight brought a lump to my throat. Then I remembered what I’d told Maddox. I told him I didn’t drink coffee, yet it was obvious I did. Shame heated my cheeks. He must have known and not called me on it.
He'd done so much for me in such a short time. Made me dinner, read to me, driven all the way back to comfort me after a nightmare, stayed all night... It was overwhelming. Part of me wanted to bask in the care and attention, to let myself be taken care of. But a larger part was terrified.
The last time I'd let someone take care of me like that, it had ended in months of captivity and trauma. How could I trust that Maddox was different? That this wouldn't end the same way?
As the coffee brewed, I found myself gravitating toward the bookshelf in my bedroom. My fingers trailed over the spine of The Little Prince , remembering how it felt to have Maddox read it to me. For a brief moment, I'd felt safe, almost... Little.
The thought sent a jolt of panic through me. I couldn't let myself go there again. It was too dangerous.
My phone buzzed with a text, startling me out of my thoughts. It was from Maddox:
"Just wanted to check in and make sure you're doing okay this morning. No pressure to respond, but I'm here if you need anything."
It took me three days to reply.
I even managed to get a zoom call with Anna, my therapist, and she was as non-judgmental as always, even if I’d convinced myself I was terrified of him.
Except I wasn’t.
If anything, Maddox tempted me to explore my little side, something I’d sworn never to do, but I wanted my life back. All of it. Everything Jeremy had taken from me.
Before I chickened out, I called Maddox, and of course he answered right away. So annoying. "Hello?" Maddox's deep voice came through the phone, a note of surprise evident.
I took a deep breath, steeling my nerves. "Hi, Maddox. It's Clare." Even though his phone would have told him who was calling.
"Clare," he said warmly. "I'm glad you called. How are you doing?"
"I'm...okay," I said hesitantly. "I wanted to thank you again for the other night. And to apologize for not responding to your text sooner."
"There's no need to apologize," Maddox assured me. "I understand you needed some time."
I swallowed hard. "I've been thinking a lot these past few days. About...everything."
"Oh?" Maddox said, his tone carefully neutral.
"I want..." I paused, gathering my courage. "I want to try . What you suggested before. About exploring my Little side again. But I'm scared."
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. When Maddox spoke again, his voice was gentle but serious. "Clare, that's a big step, and very brave of you to reach out."
"I want my life back,” I admitted. “All of it. And I think... I think you might be able to help me with that."
"I'd be honored to try," Maddox said softly. "But we need to do this right. Set boundaries, go slow. Make sure you feel safe every step of the way."
I took a deep breath, my heart racing. "Okay," I said quietly. "How do we start?"
"First, I think we should meet in person to talk about this," Maddox said. "Somewhere public where you feel comfortable. We can discuss boundaries, expectations, and what you need. Does that sound okay?"
I nodded, then remembered he couldn't see me. "Yes, that sounds good."
"Great. How about the coffee shop on Main Street tomorrow afternoon at two p.m.? It's usually pretty quiet there."
"Okay," I agreed, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Clare," Maddox said gently, "I want you to know how proud I am of you for taking this step. It's incredibly brave."
Tears pricked at my eyes at his words. "Thank you," I managed to say.
After we hung up, I sat on my couch, emotions swirling. Part of me was terrified of what I'd just agreed to. But another part, a part I'd been trying to silence for so long, felt a glimmer of hope.
The next day, I arrived at the coffee shop early, my stomach in knots. I chose a table in the corner where I could see the door and ordered a chamomile tea to calm my nerves. When Maddox walked in, my heart rate spiked. He looked calm and put-together, a stark contrast to how I felt.
Maddox smiled warmly as he approached the table. "Hi Clare," he said softly, taking the seat across from me. "How are you feeling?"
I wrapped my hands around my mug of tea, grateful for something to hold onto. "Nervous," I admitted. "But okay."
He nodded understandingly. "That's completely normal. We can take this as slow as you need."
A server appeared and Maddox ordered a coffee and two iced buns. He was polite but didn’t take his gaze from me, even though the server pasted her biggest smile on for him. I stayed silent until the server delivered the order. Maddox cut up one of the buns and pushed the plate toward me and it calmed my nerves a little. It was such a Daddy thing to do, and I broke an even smaller piece off, even though I wasn’t especially hungry. I managed to eat two pieces before I took a deep breath, steeling myself. "So...how do we do this?"
Maddox leaned forward slightly, his expression serious but gentle. "First, I want to make sure you understand that this is entirely on your terms. We only do what you're comfortable with, and you can stop at any time."
I nodded, feeling a small measure of relief at his words.
"Let's start by talking about boundaries," Maddox continued. "Are there any specific things you know you're not comfortable with?"
I thought for a moment, memories of my time with Jeremy flashing through my mind. "I don't want to be restrained," I said quietly. "Or punished. And I...I'm not ready for anything sexual."
Maddox nodded solemnly. "Absolutely. Those are all completely off the table unless you explicitly say otherwise. Anything else?"
I hesitated, then added, "I'm not sure about pet names or...or calling you Daddy. At least not yet."
"That's fine," Maddox assured me, and I felt a flash of annoyance. What was I, five?
But that anger accompanied a startling thought. I’d never explored my Little side, never allowed myself to experiment with ages. And before I could second guess myself, I spoke, "I...I'm not sure about ages," I admitted quietly. "I've never really explored that aspect before."
Maddox nodded encouragingly. "That's okay. We can figure that out together, if you want. There's no rush to define everything right away, plus your Little side might change as you become more comfortable."
I felt a small wave of relief at his words. "Okay," I said softly. "So what...what would this look like? Practically speaking?"
"Well," Maddox said thoughtfully, "we could start small. Maybe set aside some time each week where you can explore your Little side in a safe environment. We could do simple activities—coloring, watching cartoons, reading stories. Nothing too intense."
The idea both thrilled and terrified me. "And you would...take care of me during that time?"
Maddox's expression softened. "If that's what you want, yes. I could prepare snacks, help you with activities, comfort you if you get overwhelmed. But always respecting your boundaries."
I nodded slowly, trying to imagine it. Part of me longed for that kind of care and attention, while another part screamed that it was dangerous to be so vulnerable.
And a hidden part of me wanted more.
"We don't have to decide everything right now," Maddox added gently, seeming to sense my inner turmoil. "We can take it one step at a time."
I took a sip of my tea, using the moment to gather my thoughts. "Okay," I said softly. "I think... I think I'd like to try. Maybe we could start with just an hour or two? At your place, if that's alright."
Maddox nodded, a gentle smile on his face. "Of course. We can do it whenever you're comfortable. No rush."
"Maybe... this weekend?" I suggested, surprising myself with my eagerness.
"That sounds perfect," Maddox agreed.
As we finished our drinks and prepared to leave, Maddox reached across the table, his hand hovering near mine but not quite touching. "Clare," he said seriously, "I know I’ve said this but it bears repeating. I want you to know how proud I am of you for taking this step. It's incredibly brave."
Tears pricked at my eyes, and I blinked them back furiously. "Thank you," I whispered. "One step at a time sounds good.”
“Sure you want to come to my house?”
I nodded, a mix of excitement and anxiety swirling in my stomach. "What should I bring?"
"Just yourself," Maddox said warmly. "I'll have everything we might need. But if there's a special stuffie or blanket you'd like to bring, please do."
The thought of bringing Mr. Snuggles, my old teddy bear, flashed through my mind. I quickly pushed it away, feeling childish. "Okay," I said instead.
Then I registered what he’d said about me going to his home. The thought of going to his made my stomach clench with anxiety, but I pushed through it because I’d asked for it. I could have asked him to mine but I hadn’t. I needed to face my fears if I was ever going to move forward. "Okay," I agreed again, my voice barely above a whisper. "Saturday afternoon?"
"Saturday works perfectly," Maddox said. "And Clare, I want you to know—you're in control here. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or want to stop, just say the word and we'll end the session immediately. No questions asked. I’ll text you the address, but please tell someone you trust where you’ll be.”
His words helped ease some of the tension in my chest, even if I didn’t have a someone I could trust list. "Thank you," I said sincerely.
As we finalized the details, I felt a mix of anticipation and fear swirling inside me. Part of me couldn't wait to explore this side of myself again, to feel cared for and protected. But another part was terrified of letting my guard down, of being vulnerable again. Could I trust Maddox?
I guessed there was only one way to find out.