Chapter 5 Tess
Tess
I woke up on cloud nine, clinging to my phone with Levi’s text thread still open. It was the best sleep I’d gotten in a while, but that probably had to do with all the drinks I had, and not just because a boy—a man—texted me goodnight.
I stared at my phone again while brushing my teeth, grinning with toothpaste dripping down my chin.
Levi Hollis: I had fun with you too. More fun than I’ve had in a while.
Levi Hollis: Goodnight Tess. Sleep tight
The texts were simple, easy. Harmless. They should’ve meant nothing. But they made me feel giddy. Alive. And I’d chase that feeling to the ends of the earth.
I went downstairs, practically skipping, and saw Emmett at the dining table, eating a massive pile of scrambled eggs and toast. “You’re in the paper,” he said between mouthfuls, pointing at it with his fork.
“What?” I snatched it up, crinkling the pages as I grabbed it. I scanned the page so fast that the words blurred together. My eyes came to a screeching halt at my name. And then five words later, there was Levi’s.
Oh. My. God.
I read the paragraph again. Over and over until I had it memorized.
My mouth opened, then closed, not knowing what to say.
It wasn’t like the article was mean. If anything, it was teasing in that way the Whispers always was.
But even then, I still felt like I’d gotten caught red-handed.
Or maybe it was because there was a flicker of hope in my chest that it wasn’t in my head.
That there was something between Levi and me.
Something big enough for other people to notice.
I swallowed hard, my heart racing. Would it be weird to ask if he’d seen it? Maybe he thought it was funny. Or maybe he’d be appalled that someone thought there was anything more than friendship between us.
The thought ruined my appetite.
My body kind of just…melted into the chair as I sat down, my mind lost in what-ifs.
My phone buzzed in my hand, and I jumped, opening the notification immediately to find yet another text from Jeremy.
It was just another demand to come home, nothing else.
But then my blood turned to ice with the realization that he could possibly find us through this.
I wouldn’t put it past Jeremy to be using every resource he could think of at this point.
So much for not texting Levi. I snapped a picture of the paper and sent it with: Can Jeremy find us because of this? My hands were shaking as I typed.
His response was almost immediate.
Levi Hollis: I’ve been looking into it already. Don’t think so. The WC Gazette doesn’t have an online presence. I think they might be the only newspaper in the world that doesn’t.
I let out a sigh of relief. And couldn’t stop the smile that spread. He was already ten steps ahead. Already considering Luke and me. Another text came in.
Levi Hollis: I’m really sorry Tess. Last night was reckless of me. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted you to have a good time. Didn’t think anything like this would happen.
Levi Hollis: I won’t drop the ball like that again. I promise.
It felt like a blow to the stomach. And I was furious. Not with Levi. With Jeremy. Even with five hundred miles between us, he was still controlling my life, affecting how people treated me. How I existed. I was sick of it. I was sick of him.
I didn’t even know how to respond to Levi. I wanted to tell him to drop the ball if it meant more nights like last night. I wanted the article to be true. I wanted him. His smile, his laughs, his attention. I wanted all of it. But from his text, it seemed like maybe I was the only one.
“Hey!” Emmett grumbled as I stole of piece of his toast and nibbled on it so I had something to do. Something to fill the hole inside me.
“You have practically a whole loaf of bread on your plate. I think you’ll live, Em.”
“I’m bulking,” he said. “I need to eat like thirty-five hundred calories a day.”
I grimaced, side-eying him. The thought of eating that much food was nauseating. “Bulking? You want more muscle?”
He only nodded, stuffing his face more. My eyes narrowed at him, thinking.
Working out must’ve been his way to cope with his demons.
Maybe I needed something to do. Something to occupy my mind and channel all my energy into that wasn’t Luke.
Because, as much as I loved being his mom, I needed something for me. Something I had just for myself.
And I needed to start making money.
“Good morning!” Luke screeched from the top of the stairs.
I turned, my arm draping over the back of my chair. He was hopping down the stairs with wild bedhead and a face-splitting grin. His happiness was infectious, and had me pushing Levi’s texts to the back of my mind.
“Morning, baby.” I smiled and waited for him to climb into my lap. But he didn’t. Instead, he went over to his uncle. Emmett made room for him like it was second nature and handed him a piece of toast, watching as he ate.
I arched a brow at my brother. “Oh, so you’ll share with him, but not me?”
Emmett glanced around as if it were obvious. “Yes.”
“I wanna do karate,” Luke announced out of nowhere, licking his lips. “Can I do karate?”
Emmett and I froze. I blinked. Did he just say karate? Like, splitting boards and black belts kind of karate? “What?”
“Henry pways karate. He said I couwd do it with him.”
I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms. “Did he now?”
“Yeah, so I’m gonna pway it with him.”
It appeared I wouldn’t be involved in this decision; my son’s mind was already made up. That was something he got from Jeremy. Once his mind was set on something, he’d do whatever it took to make it happen. In Luke, it was adorable tenacity. In Jeremy, it was obsession fueled by control.
He wrapped his tiny fist around Emmett’s fork and shoveled some eggs into his mouth. “Can I do it? I wanna be strong wike Emmy.”
Sold. Instantly. And I knew by the way Emmett’s expression softened, he was sold, too. Emmett would probably hand over his life savings to that tiny boy without a second thought if he asked.
“I’ll talk to his mama and see what she says about it, okay?” He started wiggling like a little worm in Emmett’s lap, ecstatic. My smile was unstoppable then. “That doesn’t mean yes, just yet.”
He kept bouncing with excitement and stole some more of his uncle’s breakfast.
As much as I wanted to give this to Luke, I was apprehensive.
I didn’t know the first thing about karate, but I knew hitting was a part of it, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about Luke being involved with something like that.
He’d already seen so much violence. Too much.
I wasn’t sure if this would add fuel to the fire or be a good thing for him.
But Henry seemed like a happy, sweet boy, and my instincts told me that having an activity like this would be good for Luke in more ways than one.
After texting with Anna and spending a small fortune on sign-up fees and an adorable gi, Luke was signed up for karate by late afternoon.
“This is the cutest thing I think I’ve ever seen,” Claire said, grinning at Luke from the couch where she sat curled up with Beau. We were being held under duress while Luke high-kicked across the living room, his little curls flopping with each movement.
“It is pretty damn cute,” Beau chuckled. I shot him a glare for swearing while I took pictures. “Sorry,” he murmured softly.
I opened my texts and sent a picture of Luke with his gi on in the store and doing a high kick in the living room to our family text chain. Guess who’s starting karate with Henry tomorrow!! The replies were instant. Savannah and Brittany hearted the pictures. Colt sent a thumbs-up.
Delilah Chase: now i know who to call when the booty call won’t leave
Delilah Chase: but for real…so fucking cuuuuuttteeeee!!!
Weston Tate: Badass
Anna Roberts: We’re so excited!! Henry is beside himself
Joseph Roberts: Yeah he woke the baby up he screamed so loud lol
Emmett Hayes: 4 year olds can’t clean up your dating disasters Delilah.
Emmett Hayes: When’s the first match? I’ll be there.
Delilah Chase: kiss my juicy ass emmetti’ll be there too bug. just lmk
Claire Hayes: Same for me and B
I grinned, beside myself and loving that we had this support system now; all these aunts and uncles for Luke to look up to, to turn to if he needed something. It was everything I could’ve wanted.
Almost.
Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I opened my text thread with Levi.
I never responded after his apology this morning, getting swept up in karate prep.
And because I didn’t really know what to say.
I didn’t want him to be sorry or feel like he couldn’t be himself around me.
It made me feel fragile, like he was waiting for me to break somehow.
That wasn’t me. Or at least, I was trying not to be like that.
I typed a response, deleted it, typed it again.
Nothing felt right. I wanted to say something more than just “Don’t be sorry.
” I needed him to know how much last night meant to me.
That I hadn’t thought about Jeremy once in those hours I spent with him.
That I felt safe with him. Safer than I had in years.
But I also didn’t want to overstep and make him uncomfortable.
Me: Please don’t wrap me in bubble wrap like everyone else Levi. You’re the only one who hasn’t treated me like I’m something broken and I need that.
I forced myself to press send, and then quickly sent a picture of Luke in his gi, telling him about our newest adventure so that he didn’t feel pressured to respond to what I said.
And then I made myself put my phone away so I didn’t check it every five seconds for his response, and spent the rest of the night with my family.
“Helloooo?” Anna laughed, waving her hand in my face.